Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

Act III

#!/marissa/benson/sh

Carly sat on Freddie's lap while she and Freddie made out in Colonel Shay's study. They heard a firm knock on the door. They broke apart as Colonel Shay opened the door and poked his head in. "Hey, you two lovebirds. Dinner is waiting for you."

Carly pushed her self off of Freddie's lap and stood up. "Thanks, Dad."

Freddie then stood up. "Um, Colonel Shay, is my Mom joining us?"

Steven Shay nodded. "She will probably be waiting for us."

Carly groaned. "I hope she's calmed down."

Steven smiled ruefully. "I hope her early start on the dinner wine will get her calmed down or get her to go so over the top that she needs to be taken to her room."

Freddie nodded. "She's likely to gloat. Bet on the latter." Carly and Steven Shay rolled their eyes. "She's also a stickler for manners – no leaving the table before we are finished with dinner."

Colonel Shay got a wicked smile on his face. "I'm on it." He then leant forward and spoke quietly. "After all the 'iCarly' you have filmed, I take it you know how to eat fast and drag out spoken parts of conversations, right?"

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Carly and Freddie took their time cleaning up before dinner. When they arrived at the dining room, Marissa Benson and Steven Shay were sitting at consecutive sides of a plain square plastic table with a red-and-green-checkered table cloth on it. Colonel Shay gestured for Carly and Freddie to sit at the other two sides of the table. All four of them had dishes with Lasagna Florentine and garlic bread in them.

As Freddie pulled the chair out for Carly to sit in, she noticed that his mother had a significantly larger piece of lasagna than Colonel Shay's, whose piece was in turn much larger than those on hers and Freddie's plates. Moreover, Colonel Shay had also given Marissa a much larger volume of wine and larger pieces of garlic bread.

After Carly was seated, she smiled overly sweetly at Mrs. Benson as Freddie rushed to his seat. "I see Dad wanted to start you on the local spin of a classic dish." She and Freddie quickly cut off a piece of their lasagnas and started eating them quickly.

Marissa was about to speak when Colonel Shay held up his hand and nodded. "Yes. Not only do the ingredients vary across the country," he began. He paused for a moment as if to catch his breath before continuing, "but the spice and herb blends vary a bit as well."

Freddie nodded a bit as he finished his first mouthful. He then remarked, "I always wondered what 'Florentine' style dishes were and how they compare with other parts of the country. Spinach is obviously part of it. How are the spices and herbs different, Colonel Shay?"

Marissa spoke instead of Steven Shay. "Oh, c'mon, Freddikins," Marissa replied thickly. "Why don't you post your couple pictures on the website and tell everyone that you two are dating exclusively and your show will feature mostly you as a couple."

Steven looked reproachfully at Mrs. Benson. He chided her as Carly and Freddie each took quick gulps of water. "Let me answer his question first, Marissa." He then paused and waited for Carly and Freddie to cut another piece off their lasagnas. When they had put them into their mouths, he continued rather deliberately, cutting from his lasagna as he spoke. "Yes, Freddie. Florentine dishes typically have spinach and eggs, meat or fish – Sam would love the different ways ham is prepared in some markets around here." Carly and Freddie chuckled as they swallowed, took a bite of garlic bread, and then took a gulp of water while Colonel Shay ate a small piece of lasagna. He waited for them to take another slice of lasagna before continuing. "Local garden ingredients like mushrooms and pumpkin are used in side dishes or main dishes. Mostly red chili and green herbs are used along with garlic. It seems like they have a lot of tomato-based sauces here. Cheeses are typically Marzolino or Pecorino."

Marissa spoke up excitedly. "You should show some of the local cuisine as well as the art, architecture, and music! Maybe you should go out and bond and celebrate your romance with a well-mannered girlfriend for a change?"

While Carly a quick bite of garlic bread and quick drink of water, Freddie chewed his last piece of lasagna, swallowed quickly, and then deliberately reached for his glass of water. He took a long sip from it, then replaced it before replying to his mother. "We have been celebrating, in a sense, Mom." Marissa was about to comment when Freddie held up his arm and Carly started on her last piece of lasagna. "Besides, we have to leave on Thursday. That's only four more days."

Marissa waived him off. "Oh, Freddie. If it will help you, I can let you stay with Carly." Carly and Freddie rolled their eyes as Carly swallowed her last mouthful and then gulped down some water while Freddie quickly wolfed down some garlic bread. "When you have a girl worth keeping, I am willing to go the extra mile for you, dear."

Carly coughed as Freddie quickly finished his garlic bread. After taking some time to drink another sip of water, Carly forced a smile at Marissa Benson. "Mrs. Benson. Like the rest of us, his one and two date girlfriends have been inconsistent." Carly's smile turned upwards more forcefully as she got a glint in her eyes. Freddie began to drain his tumbler of water. "But I feel lucky that he thinks of me as the second woman he feels is worth keeping."

Freddie broke in quickly so that his mother couldn't break in. "Yeah. I learnt to set a high standard." Carly began to drain her tumbler of water and smiled into it while Freddie continued. "I've been really lucky that the two girls I have loved more than any other were worth being in a relationship with."

Now Colonel Shay broke in. "Have you two thought about maybe putting up a travelogue of Florence on the website?" Marissa's eyes widened as a big smile broke out on her face. Carly and Freddie looked at him querulously. "Why don't you two go around Florence tomorrow and film what you see and do and then post it with an announcement on the website?"

Marissa beamed as Carly replied, "Hey, that's a great idea, Dad!"

Freddie nodded as Marissa sat up tall in her chair. "I could start at the base and-"

"Nope – some of this is classified, Freddie," Steven Shay told him. "You may be able to use one of the base's media units, but don't film the base."

Freddie nodded. "Oh, I see."

Colonel Shay smiled at Freddie and Carly. With a slight movement of his brow and eyes, he bade them to finish what little there was of their meals. "Freddie, I recall that you are a Roman Catholic, right?" Freddie nodded. "There are some gorgeous churches around here. Some of the Roman ruins are great for tourists and, if you are in the mood, you could watch Liga Football."

Carly nodded as she started her last drink from her glass. After she finished, she said, "Thanks, Dad." She then turned to Freddie. "Let's plan this in the study on the computer."

Freddie nodded as he finished his water. "Great idea. Thanks, Colonel Shay."

Carly and Freddie rose from the table. They looked at Marissa. Carly spoke for both of them. "If you don't mind, we will work off of your great idea, Mrs. Benson."

As they quickly left the dining room, the could hear Mrs. Benson say, "You're welcome."

When they were out of earshot, Freddie mumbled quietly to Carly, "Wow, your dad really manoeuvered the conversation for us to get out before my mom went berserk."

Carly nodded as they made their way to the study. "Thank God." They quickly ducked into the room and shut its door. "Let's figure out how to plan the trip and then run it by Sam later."

Freddie shrugged. "You've been living here for over a year. I'll trust your judgement."

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Sam opened the door to the bathroom, dressed for work. She saw that Cat was on her cell phone looking at her worriedly. "I know it probably will hurt, but I think your story will help Sam," to the other party.

Gibby grabbed her gently by the elbow. "Come on, Sam. Brunch."

Sam nodded. "Thanks, Gib," she mumbled as she dragged herself to the kitchen. Pam was lifting the lid from a Belgian waffle maker; Spencer was placing silverware next to some dishes on one side of the table; Cat was setting out maple syrup next to a butter dish, a small bowl of turbanado sugar, a citrus compote, and a jug of pineapple juice; lastly, Melanie was sprinkling a bit of salt into a pan with a bit of olive oil on the bottom that filled with Bird's Eye vegetables - corn, carrots, green beans, and asparagus by the looks of the mixture - that had a pat of butter on top. "Oh, sorry," she muttered as she looked for something to do.

Pam poured some batter from a bowl into the waffle maker before closing the lid. After she closed it, she quickly looked around the room. "Cat, can you finish this? I want Spencer and me to talk with Sam and Melanie while you finish cooking in here."

Cat nodded. "Sure, Mrs. Puckett."

Spencer put down the compote and spoon. He stepped next to Pam and touched her elbow as he said, "Thanks, Cat. Call us when you're done." He nodded at Sam, who then turned to walk to the living room.

"No worries, lovebirds," Cat replied playfully. Everyone in the kitchen giggled as Spencer guided Pam to the living room. "Just answer the door when Jade gets here."

"Sure thing, Cat," he called back as he and Pam were going out of earshot.

When he and Pam got to the couch, Sam was sitting on the table, so they sat to face her, holding hands. Sam looked at them expectantly. "Well, what's up?'

Pam nodded and leant forward. "I heard what Marissa said to you." Sam frowned. "Yes, of course I eavesdropped. I am your mother, after all."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Now you start to be a normal mother!" In the kitchen, Sam could hear the coffee grinder whirring.

Pam shrugged as she heard the waffle iron opening. "Besides, I can't let you try to steal my fiancé who, coincidentally, was your first crush, while you are on the rebound, now, can I, dear?"

"Pam!" Spencer yelled with disgust. He stared at his fiancée; his discomfiture was apparent. "Even before we started seeing each other, that would have be paedophilic and borderline incestuous, given how much time she's been with Carly!"

The kitchen went silent. Pam struggled to keep a straight face before she exploded laughing. Sam and Melanie stared at their mother in disbelief. An audible sigh went through the kitchen as the group in there resumed cooking. "In any event, although it's not pretty, you two and Spencer should know this in case Marissa goes too far again."

Spencer looked at his finacee doubtfully. "Why do I need to know, dear?"

Pam shrugged. "In case she decides Freddie should trade up from Carly instead of Sam."

Spencer frowned and shook his head. "Really, Pam-"

"Yes, really, Dear," Pam said curtly. "You know how often she has denigrated Carly because she thought Carly was using him." Spencer nodded slowly. "Do you really think that when Carly and Freddie have their first tiff that she will have any compunctions about trying to break them up?"

Spencer sighed and looked downward. "OK, I guess." The sound of plates being set down on a table rang through the apartment.

"Good." She patted him on the head. "Anyway, you know that Freddie was born out of wedlock." Sam's, Melanie's, and Spencer's heads shot up immediately. "Because she was a Deadhead polyamourist-"

Melanie was the first to recover. "Mom! Wait! Say that again?"

Pam was surprised by her lack of comprehension. She saw the similarly puzzled looks on the others' faces. "Ah. Let me back up."

She still had everyone at rapt attention. "Miss Marissa Benson-"

This time Spencer broke in. "Miss Benson?"

Pam nodded. "You know about the 'Fencing Bensons,' right?" Sam, Melanie, and Spencer nodded. "Didn't you ever wonder how the 'Fencing Bensons' could be in her family? The only way is if her, ahem, 'maiden' name were Benson; the only way she could be 'Misses' is if she married another Benson. What are the odds of that?"

Melanie shrugged. "It could have been like when Mrs. Shay died in Afghanistan or something except they weren't married."

Pam snickered. "Oh, yeah, something respectable was not happening to her back then. The original version of the abbreviation 'Mrs.' was more appropriate for her." The trio looked at her questioningly. "Duh – mistress!"

Sam laughed out loud. "So all the chizz she'd given me about my me being a 'bad girl' is not even close to her past?"

Pam giggled with her daughter. "That's right, dear." Spencer shook his head in disbelief as Melanie started laughing along with her family. "After she finished her degree in nursing in 1993 a semester early, her parents thought it would be OK for her to take the time off to relax. When she joined a polyamourous group of Grateful Dead fans, much to her parents' chagrine, she got more 'Sex and Drugs and Rock And Roll' than you can imagine."

Melanie broke in. "Polyamourous? Group dating?"

Pam nodded. "Yup. Eight men, twelve women, and many transitory – usually legal – members, if I remember correctly."

A disgusted, "ew," was the collective reply.

Melanie gestured for her mother to stop. "Wait, Mom. How do you know? Were you one of them?"

Pam straightened up and leant back slightly. "No way. I may have been, um, frequently sequential in my relationships, but I was always monogamous."

Sam and Melanie winced as Spencer shook his head. "So where do you come in, Honey?"

"I'll get there soon." Pam cleared her throat, picked up a glass of water, took a sip, and then continued. "She obviously didn't know who Freddie's father was. She got some blood tests done of everyone and got the candidate fathers down to two: Frederick and Edward."

Sam began laughing hysterically. "Fred-ward!"

Spencer added a nervous giggle. "Poor kid."

Melanie looked disgusted. "A portmanteau name?"

"Yup." Pam replied. Melanie added a hearty chuckle as Sam's laughter began to subside. "Then, to make matters worse, they didn't have much money after junk food, transport, and all. So even though they saved money when Marissa would barter with my friend Lena and whomever she was with at the time for drugs and munchies."

Spencer held up his hand. "Wait, barter for drugs and munchies?"

Pam shrugged. "I was never interested getting, um, roped into her kind of thing, but she sure didn't hide it."

"Aw, Mom!" Melanie and then Sam cried in disgust. They turned their heads away, closed their eyes, and shook their heads in a vain attempt to clear the images they had. When they failed, they regained their composure and then looked at their mother dyspepticly.

"You two recovered?" Pamela asked her daughters.

"Sort of," they mumbled.

"I see." Pam stopped momentarily. "And I gathered that Freddie's erstwhile fathers were, in a take-off of the parlance of the people who trashed Webicon at your panel, shipmates."

Spencer suddenly became dyspeptic. "Excuse me, ladies," he mumbled as he sprang from his seat and ran to the bathroom. He closed the door and began to wretch.

Sam, Mel, and Pam looked at each other, puzzled. When he had stopped momentarily, Pam called out, "Dear? Are you sick?"

"No - dry heave. I'll be OK once I get over the rather sickening reason for Freddie's name," Spencer replied.

"Hey, I didn't say they went down on their ship, now did I, honey?"

Sam and Melanie suddenly realised the ship pun, the mate pun, the "going down" pun, the punny ship-mate analogy, and the ship sinking analogy. "Mom, stop it!" they both yelled at the top of their lungs as Spencer emerged from the bathroom.

Spencer inhaled the smell of the cooking food as he eyed the twins warily. "Anything I should know?" he asked.

Pam was about to open her mouth when Sam and Melanie clamped their hands over it. "Do not tell him until you are alone," Sam growled, "got that?"

Pam nodded. The twins let her go and then she smirked lustily before winking at Spencer. She then turned to Sam and Melanie as Spencer resumed his place next to her. "Well, towards the end of that tour, the guys were down to washing their clothing in whatever river, pond, or mud bog they could. They got all sorts of mites and stuff in their bajas, jeans, and shirts. But their drug-addled minds didn't know or care. Some of them got what we now know is babesiosis from the ticks and died from it - including Fred and Ed."

Sam, Melanie, and Spencer had an urge to laugh but couldn't. Finally, Spencer snorted ruefully. "Wow. Her obsessive, overprotective treatment of Freddie suddenly makes a truly warped kind of sense."

Pam nodded solemnly. "And what happened after she returned home only hardened her."

The doorbell rang. Pam turned to Spencer. "Would you answer that, Honey?"

Spencer nodded. "Sure. That's probably Jade and Robbie." He got up and went to the door. Pam ogled him for a moment before turning to her daughters. "One of those times I am thankful I still look good in a string bikini."

"No you don't, mom," Sam muttered under her breath as Melanie shut her eyes and breathed deeply.

Spencer opened the door and greeted Jade and Robbie. "Hi, guys - Cat is in the kitchen finishing breakfast with everyone else."

Jade and Robbie entered. "Smells good," Jade commented. "Here, let's leave him with his future family," she said to Robbie as she guided him to the kitchen.

Spencer returned to his place next to Pam and then looked at her. "So what happened?" he asked as the sounds in the kitchen were starting to die down.

Pam nodded. "Marissa had Freddie and then started looking for work. But she had troubles at interviews when some of them remembered getting to know her, um, intimately but she usually didn't recognise them." Spencer shook his head, partly in disgust and partly in sympathy. Melanie wrinkled her nose while Sam chuckled nervously. "And whenever she got a job, she often ran into the parents of some of the, um, young adults she had got to know-"

"Young adults?" Spencer exclaimed.

"Spencer, don't you listen?" Pam asked, playfully incredulous. "I did say that the transitory members were 'usually legal' - just not always."

"O.M.G.!" Melanie spat out.

"Chizz!" Sam breathed.

Spencer just looked at her blankly. Pam took that as a cue to continue. "And she also learnt from her new, younger co-workers that the ties she had experienced were ties that bind-"

"Pam!" Spencer yelled as Melanie and Sam became increasingly green.

Pam shook her head. "I did say it wasn't pretty-"

"No, mom," Melanie broke in curtly.

"That was just an horrible pun." Sam finished for her twin.

Pam looked at everyone before starting to giggle. "Yeah." After she regained her composure, she added, "She couldn't stay at anywhere for more than a few months. So she went from temp job to temp job for several years, usually replacing those on some kind of leave. But she stayed with her parents, which allowed her to save money until she finally got permanent job. That's when she moved into Bushwell and you met them."

The twins stared at each other for a moment while the sound of the over opening could be heard. They then turned to their mother. Sam asked, "But then how did we not meet them?"

"Marissa regretted everything she had done and didn't want to associate with us," Pam replied simply. "Make no mistake – she remembers what happened to her and desperately wants to prevent that from happening to Freddie. Thus, until she got to Bushwell, she was not going to see us. I don't think she even knows who I am." Pam chuckled. "She's lucky that Kodak had not pushed their digital camera design and that internet connections were almost unheard of at the time or else she would have been prominently and frequently displayed for advertising on the biggest money-making and most common websites around."

After everyone turned green at this piece of information, they took a few moments to digest what Pam had said. Finally, Spencer found the wherewithal to speak up. "Wow." He turned to the twins. "And Sam, I heard what you said to them too."

"What, are you practising spying on me as your new, ugh, daughter?" Sam cried in mock-futility.

"Why yes, kiddo," Spencer said with a risibly fake air of authority. "What you did was incredibly thoughtful and generous."

Sam snorted, "Yeah, those two just turned me into milquetoast."

"No, Sam," Melanie replied. "Give yourself some credit - you gave them some great advice that will help their relationship. That's toughness and grit I don't think I have."

"Agreed, Dear," Pam added. "Far from being milquetoast, you showed heart and soul, Sam."

Sam dropped her head. "So what. The Creddiers will gloat and spam me with messages that remind me that nothing I could do would ever be enough to get Freddie back."

Spencer jumped from his seat angrily and threw his arms into the air. "That's enough, Sam!" he shouted. The sound of cooking stopped momentarily. After a few moments of silence, it started again. Spencer deliberately resumed his seat. He saw that he had the complete attention of the Puckett women before proceeding. "I hate to say it, Sam, but less than fifteen per-cent of high school romances end in marriage - and many of those require a shotgun. More than half end in divorce in the first six years. And all of those after that have far less than a fifty per-cent chance of lasting past 10 years than everyone else has-"

Sam broke in, "Yeah, but none of them are meant to be like they are and no one is as bad a person for Freddie to date as I am."

"Sam!" Pam, Melanie, and Spencer yelled simultaneous.

Pam said, "Carly gave you credit for helping her out, you know."

Melanie blurted, "Freddie did say he still loves you too."

And Spencer chipped in, "There is no such thing as, 'meant to be,' Sam." The women went silent as Spencer added, "Especially Carly and Freddie."

"Are you sure you're not on the drugs 'Crazy' took, Spence?" Sam asked disbelievingly.

Spencer shook his head. "You, Dear Sam, have spent too much time reading the iCarly website's chat pages."

Melanie broke in, "Spence - it was part of the job of running the web show."

Spencer turned towards her sharply. "That may be, but just because Freddie is right now the best thing that has happened to my little sister's life and blessed her with a huge leap in maturity doesn't mean that their relationship is going to be idyllic." They could hear murmuring coming from the kitchen as some silverware was clanking.

Sam pounded the table. "Spence - they don't have the baggage or regrets that I have. Don't you think that right now, I regret every insult, every prank, every wedgie, every spanking-"

"Must have inherited that from Marissa," Pam commented.

"-I have given him?" Pam's comment suddenly registered with Sam. "You really had to go there, Mom?" Pam blushed. "I keep thinking that if I had just been tough on him without being mean or had had Mel's ability to avoid the bad crowd when I was a kid that he might have seen me differently and I wouldn't have been so afraid of getting rebuffed."

Pam clapped her hands sharply. "Sam, you can't live in the past playing 'coulda-shoulda-woulda!'"

Melanie suddenly had a thought. "Sam, do you think that Carly and Freddie won't have problems?" Sam nodded. "Didn't you just ask Freddie not to be a doormat and Carly not to be manipulative?"

"Sure," Sam replied. "But Freddie kept persisting. Carly saw the light and knows better now. She could just take him being there for granted, but I had to scratch and claw for everything. They won't have many problems because they are obviously meant to be-"

Spencer sat up straight and looked Sam straight in the eye. "Sam, if couples were 'meant to be', I would have married my high school sweetheart, my college sweetheart, my law school sweetheart-"

"Law school, Spence?" Melanie broke in. "I thought you were only there for three days."

"Yeah, well, there's still orientation," Spencer commented weakly. "Besides, I made like the drop-outs in 'The Paper Chase' and kept pretending to keep up to stay with her."

Melanie laughed. "Oh, I bet she loved it when she asked you to help her study and you were clueless!"

Spencer took bright red. "Yeah, well." After a pause, he continued. "The point is, no matter how good your relationship is or how smoothly everything seems to be, you are still two different people in any relationship. Everyone has to work on their own relationships very hard - like your mom and I are. Carly doesn't really know yet except from watching you and Freddie."

Pam nodded firmly. "And that means a lot. If she still thinks those delusions apply to her and Freddie, they are already doomed as a couple and you are going to have to be the glue of your friendship. Even if they do work out - they are the best friends you ever had. You can't hold the candle for Freddie and you can't stay bitter - you have to move on." Sam and Melanie were both gesturing to speak when Pam hastily added, "Yes, it's like I can talk. Just learn from my mistakes."

Spencer noticed Jade and Cat emerging from the kitchen with full plates. He knew he needed to wrap this up for the moment. "And lastly - it is hard to not fall back into old habits when you get into a relationship with someone you have known a while."

Pam nodded solemnly as Robbie emerged from the kitchen. "Here, let's get some food while we finish up."

Sam, Melanie, and Spencer nodded and they all got up. As they made their way towards the kitchen, Spencer continued. "You and Freddie fought constantly when you were together because that's what you did before you started dating. But Freddie stood up from himself and knew you wouldn't respect him if he didn't." Sam nodded, conceding the point. "After being with you, Freddie - at least on a subconscious level – expects to be able to stand up for himself on some level; his friendship with Carly has had him be decidedly the beta-personality. That's going to be a problem." Spencer then turned to pick up a plate and started serving himself.

Pam then broke in. "How I viewed Spencer when he was 21 is not how I view him now. We both have grown up a lot in the interim; us comforting each other about you going missing was what made us look at each other as mature adults - and neither of us has ever done that before. And that's why most teen romances don't last."

Melanie knew this was the final point. "Look how far you and Freddie have come since he first started stalking Carly. You had to overcome a lot to see what you found in him. Then he had to reconcile you revealing your feelings in spite of nearly maiming each other for years. And then, even though you both knew that you loved each other, you also knew that you weren't quite right for each other then and broke up. That's really hard, Sam. You both grew up a lot."

Melanie paused for a moment as Sam hung her head. Pam got their attention and gave them each a plate. Sam straightened up as Pam turned to serve herself. When Sam could look her twin sister in the eye, Melanie continued. "And then you repudiated everything you had been when you rescued Carly, Freddie, and Gibby from Dana and the rest of your former friends. That's really hard, Sam. I hope Carly catches up. And you can't regret how things went. You can't change them. And you are going to have to grow up more again."

Sam nodded again. "Yeah. I just hope I mean something more to him than just being his friend Sam, because he's way more than a friend of mine and always will be." Sam looked at the table and stopped momentarily as Melanie started taking some food.

The lunch spread was enormous: oranges (mandarin, blood, cara cara, navel), grapefruit (yellow, red), lemon, lime in a compote with turbanado sugar powdered in a coffee mill; belgian waffles, maple syrup, freshly whipped cream, chocolate shavings, ham, steamed vegetables, coffee, ice cream, milk.

Melanie saw that Sam had not snarfed the ham yet and smiled. "Yes, we did this all for you. Plus me and Jade, I guess." Sam and Melanie filled their plates before going out to the living room. Everyone was sitting in a circle on the couch and tables.

Jade had an opening next to her, which she patted. Sam and Melanie sat next to her in that space. Cat then nodded at Jade and then gestured at Sam. Jade's looked down momentarily before nodding. She raised her head and spoke rather quietly. "Sam?"

Sam gulped down a piece of ham as she turned to face Jade. "'Sup?"

Jade perfunctorily cleared her throat. "Cat told me you needed to hear about how I lost the one I thought I was meant to be with." Sam nodded uneasily. "I dated this guy Beck through most of high school." Jade shifted uneasily as Sam turned to face her completely. "He was an amazing boyfriend and was great looking, but that also meant that virtually every other girl in school was after him - even though he was with me."

Sam and Melanie frowned as Gibby chimed in, "That's tough. I know the feeling."

Jade looked at his burly figure quizzically before Sam affirmed for him, "Really."

Jade shrugged, somewhat disbelievingly, before continuing. "Even worse, I was really independent and have this harsh streak that caused a lot of friction between us, but we had an honesty to our relationship that few high schoolers have."

Cat nodded and added, "That's why I wanted her to talk to you, Sam."

"Kinda figured, Cat," Sam replied.

Jade sighed to regain control of the conversation. "Along with all these girls bad-mouthing me while flinging themselves at him, I had this too-good-to-be-true-but-she-was frenemy, I guess, whom he seemed to like-" Sam rolled her eyes. "-and that just made my insecurity and jealousy worse." Sam nodded sympathetically. "Anyway, when graduation came, I had been recruited by a record company while he had decided to go to college. It turned out that I was doing low-level background work while his course load got pretty heavy. We grew apart pretty quickly." Jade started to sniffle and tear. "I keep regretting taking that company's offer to do background to cheesy teenie-bopper pop, 'cause I might have gone to college with him."

Robbie strode over to Cat, kissed her on the cheek, and then sat down next to her. "It's one of the many traps for people around her who try to get into show business. Singing contracts to be anonymous voices in the background. Being suckered into playing extras in a movie and not getting paid and no SAG card. It can be horrible." He then started eating his Belgian waffle with vanilla ice cream, the citrus compote, powdered sugar, and dark chocolate powder.

Sam finished one piece of her ham and began on the vegetables. "Have you tried to get him back? Or thought about going to college to get him back?"

Jade shook her head. "For us now, it's too late. I would be a couple of years behind him at college at best. He's also become a bit of a tease since he went to the music school." Jade looked up at nothing in particular, with a thousand yard stare. "Maybe in 10 years, we might become more compatible again. But I can't even hope it happens, or I would go nuts."

Sam sniffed and then held herself still. Melanie could see the pain in her eyes and gave her a hug. "I know, Sammy. It's not going to be easy. Shane broke up with me because I went to college. He didn't like his girlfriend to be better at science or engineering than he is." Melanie sighed. "But I can't dwell on him and you can't dwell on Carly and Freddie."

"But Freddie was the first nice guy who ever liked me. I don't know if another nice guy would want to be with Sam Puckett."

Melanie looked at her sternly. "You can't think like that, Sam."

"That's easy for Miss Priss to say!"

"Sam - if you keep straightening out like this, nice guys will find you."

Spencer leant forward. "Sam, you know I have had lots of girlfriends, right?" Sam nodded.

Pam smirked and sat back. "And you were never secretive of what you thought of the guys I dated." This time Sam and Melanie both rolled their eyes. "Not to mention how I was after your dad left." No one moved this time. "If you like the person and you break up or they move on to someone else, it always hurts, girls."

Gibby broke in. "Yeah - remember Tasha?"

Sam nodded as Melanie looked at her quizzically. "Teen model, Mel."

Melanie raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Good for him."

Gibby continued. "I was devastated when she dumped me. I just started an online relationship a couple of months ago."

"Another model/actress/singer," Spencer whispered.

"Yup!" Gibby chirped. "She came up to Seattle a couple of weeks ago; this time I came down to visit."

Sam beamed at Gibby. "She lives near here?" Gibby nodded and smiled. "That's great, Gibs. I'm glad you are doing well."

Cat smiled broadly. "Yeah, not everyone can be like Robbie and me."

"Thanks for the help, Cat," Jade murmured.

"Yeah, we're really lucky," Robbie added.

"Not helping!" Pam yelled.

Cat and Robbie looked at Pam with shock before they realised their gaffe. Cat blushed and whispered, "Sorry, everyone."

Spencer finished his breakfast and asked Gibby, Pam, and Melanie, "Hey, um, why don't we check into a hotel?"

Melanie responded first. "Not me, Spence - I'll commiserate with my sister." Pam smiled at the response and nodded to her.

Gibby followed up. "Not me either - my girlfriend's dad offered me a place to stay."

Spencer and Pam looked at each other wickedly. Pam then turned her head to address the group. "Well, then, in that case. Spencer and I will get a place."

Sam nodded. "Thanks, everyone." She looked around the room before adding. "We will have a few clients today, so Cat and I will understand if people don't want to hang out."

There was a murmur of general dissent. Finally, Jade spoke up. "Look, we'll hang around for a while." She looked at Sam and Melanie. "It looks like we three could stand hanging about and dealing with our guy issues."

Robbie piped up and added enthusiastically, "Cool. We can go to Karaoke later." This suggestion garnered general approval.

Author's Note: Believe it or not, I actually know someone who has been as almost as over-protective of her children as Marissa Benson is of hers who actually has the background I gave her here.