A/N: WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! And Yazu is here now. (Finally.) Where's the Gay Rainbow Pony… oh, wait, I don't want to know.
Zuko: What are we doing today?
Riku: Sokka? Katara? Make-out!
Sokka and Katara: IN YOUR DREAMS!
Riku: You are so… right! WAH! I'M SUCH A NERD!
The Mighty Authoress: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I WILL USE MY MIGHTY AUTHORESS POWERS TO MAKE YOU MAKE-OUT!
The Co-Author (Yazu-chan): Really?
The Mighty Authoress thinks.
The Mighty Authoress: On second thought… where's Toph?
Toph: Oh, ho, no.
Mighty Authoress: And Riku… I'm firing you.
Riku: WHAT?
The Mighty Authoress: The Co-Author and I agree… you haven't done anything but get ME into trouble by HER!
The Co-Author: You also said Zuko wasn't a hero. And you made Iroh trade Zuko for a monkey, and—
The Mighty Authoress: SHUT UP!! But, my little lioness friend… I will give you something to go… do… whatever it is you do…
Sokka, Aang and Zuko: Ah, crap.
The Mighty Authoress hands her The Holy Pants™.
Riku gasps and runs off squee-ing.
Sokka: Finally our pants are safe.
The Mighty Authoress: But not your sanity… NOW KISS KATARA DAMMIT!
The Mighty Authoress does a little flippy thing with her hands and Sokka kisses Katara.
They jump away quick.
Sokka and Katara: DAMN YOU THE MIGHTY AUTHORESS!!
The Mighty Authoress: And that, The Co-Author, is the magic of being the Mighty Authoress.
The Co-Author: Really? NEAT!
The Co-Author takes out her magical frying pan, and smashes Sokka with it, causing him to suffer from symptoms similar to CACTUS JUICE!!!!!!
The Mighty Authoress laughs maniacally and flashes the thumbs up sign to the Co-Author.
Sokka: TOILET!
Aang: Oh, God, no.
The Mighty Authoress: Ahem.
Aang: Oh, sorry, Oh, Mighty Authoress, no.
The Mighty Authoress points to Co-Author.
The Mighty Authoress: Blame her.
The Co-Author: Why me?
The Mighty Authoress: Shush! Let us watch!
The Co-Author: I'll get the popcorn! And the Diet Coke… since you can't have any pop corn… sad.
Sokka: Hey! Who knew Zuko's sister was a Nazi?
Aang slaps his forehead.
Aang: We've been through this, Sokka.
The Mighty Authoress: Wait, wait, wait!
Everybody gets out of character and looks at her.
Sokka: Who lit the Mighty Authoress on fire?
The Co-Author: OHH! PICK ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!
The Mighty Authoress: That is why you are not the Authoress of this fic. Anyway… I SHOULD MAKE IT A THREESOME WITH AANG, ZUKO AND SOKKA!
Zuko: Okay…
Ty Lee randomly pops in.
Ty Lee: Why is Sokka dancing like a monkey?
She leaves.
Aang: Okay… this is just getting weirder.
Katara: What did you expect?
Aang: Toasters?
Sokka: Oooh! A closet!
Sokka opens the door to the closet a shoves Zuko into it… again.
Zuko: DAMMIT! GET ME OUT OF THE CLOSET!
Aang: Sure… after you go see a counselor about your problems with coming out.
Toph: Speak for yourself, Twinkle-toes.
Zuko: Can we focus on me? Please?
The Co-Author: I CAN!
The Mighty Authoress: SHUSH!
Aang: I CAN focus on you… if you want me to.
Katara: Someone get me a tape recorder…
Toph: Are they?
Katara: In due time, Toph, in due time.
Meanwhile, in the office:
The Mighty Authoress: Do you feel that rumbling?
The Co-Author: Yeah… I'm really hungry.
The Mighty Authoress: You're a douche bag, you know that?
The Co-Author: But I'm your… no wait… no I'm not.
The Mighty Authoress: … I have a bad feeling in my gut.
The Co-Author: Is it your pancreas or your spleen?
The Mighty Authoress: Uh, oh…
The Mighty Authoress' fanclub, aka The Nerds, barge in.
The Mighty Authoress: THAT'S MY CUE!
She starts running. The Gay Rainbow Pony Man runs up beside her.
GRPM: Who are YOU chasing?
The Mighty Authoress: No one… the Nerds have caught up with me!
GRPM: Well… too bad for you… BUT WAIT CABBAGE MAN! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOU!
GRPM runs off after the Cabbage Man. The Mighty Authoress shrugs and runs faster.
Nerd #1: GET HER PANTS!
Nerd #2: GET HER SHIRT!
Nerd #3: LET'S TIE HER UP AND MAKE HER RECITE LOVE POEMS ABOUT AANG AND ZUKO! IN SHAKESPEARIAN!
The Co-Author: Oh… every time.
She gets up and gets in between the Nerds and the Mighty Authoress.
The Mighty Authoress: HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
The Co-Author: I'm on it! Okay… what do you want?
Nerd #1: HER PANTS!
Nerd #2: HER SHIRT!
Nerd #3: WE WANT TO TIE HER UP AND MAKE HER RECITE LOVE POEMS ABOUT AANG AND ZUKO! IN SHAKESPEARIAN!
The Co-Author: Uhhh… I can't do any of that… but I can give you hotel soaps and a CD of Shikira.
Nerd #3: That works.
The Nerds leave, and The Mighty Authoress slips back into her office chair.
The Mighty Authoress: Thanks…
The Co-Author: You owe me… for the… let's see… 1,458,450,349th time.
Back with… those people:
Sokka: Oh
baby when you talk like that
You make a woman go mad
So be
wise and keep on
Reading the signs of my body
And I'm on
tonight
You know my hips don't lie
And I am starting to feel
you boy
Come on let's go, real slow
Don't you see baby asi es
perfecto
Zuko: MAKE HIM STOP!
Toph: Uhh… Aang? Open the closet door, please.
Aang opens the door and Toph shoves in and closes the door.
Aang: Hey, no fair!
Sokka: I like pretty boys, they make the sky look fat.
Toph: PARTAY IN THE
CLOSET!
Aang: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!
Sokka wraps his arms around Katara.
Sokka: There's a PARTAY in my pants… and you, little lady, are invited.
Katara: He's on cactus juice, he's on cactus juice!
Toph: There goes the train into the tunnel, eh Katara?
Katara: Yeah, and I think that's spicy.
Toph: Ooh… please, stick your straw in my milkshake and twirl.
Sokka: LESBIANISMZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Aang: Can someone get us out of the closet?
Toph: I'm sure you two will come out when you're good and ready. Like the Gay Rainbow Pony Man!
Katara: He came out when he was five!
Toph: Yeah… but you don't see anyone blushing maniacally and turning away from HIM do you?
Sokka: Unless you're a… homophone…
Katara: That's homophobe, sweetie…
Sokka: Is it just me, or is the sky a slight off-green color?
All (except our closet-teers) look up.
Katara: Uhh… no… that's the color of the ceiling. Who picked out the colors for that thing?
Sokka: My mom goes to college.
Meanwhile at the office:
The Mighty Authoress: No one has fallen in a trash can, OR said 'I like salad!'
The Co-Author pushes The Mighty Authoress in the trash can.
The Mighty Authoress: DOUCHE BAG!
She curses in Finnish, English, Japanese, Chinese, Russian, German, Italian, French, Elvish, Gaelic, Canadian, Spanish, Snow Angel-ish, Fire Lord Ozai-ish, General Iroh-ish (known as Jasmine-ian), Gay Rainbow Man-ian, and Douche Baggian.
She then gets out of the trash can and farts in the Co-Author face.
The Co-Author: IT SMELLS LIKE… Green Tea…
Back… wherever:
Sokka: BANANA LLAMA!!!
Katara: …
Toph: … Has anyone else noticed how… quiet it's been in the closet?
Katara and Toph look at each other.
Katara: Do I want to open the closet?
Toph: Do I want to get the camera?
Sokka: Do I want be Tuxedo Mask for Halloween, or James Bond?
Sokka pauses.
Sokka: Bond… James Bond.
Katara: GET THE CAMERA, TOPH!
Toph: Wait… I couldn't see what they were doing anyway!
Katara: Couldn't you… you know, FEEL them?
Toph pauses, feeling for vibrations.
Toph: If they're doing the Russian Twist then I can't feel anything.
Katara: Is that your… sexual remark?
Toph: You want to try the Russian Twist later?
Katara: I'll think about it.
Sokka: LesbianismZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
Femmslash Fans: WOOT!
In the closet:
Zuko: Do you think they suspect something?
Aang: We've kept quiet all through the Mighty Authoress' foreign language binge.
Zuko: It just quiet… quick! Do something.
Aang starts doing the Can-Can.
Katara opens the door.
Katara: DAMN!
Toph: Aang's doing the Can-Can… and Zuko's playing the bagpipes.
Zuko: CAN'T…. BREATHE!
Zuko faints.
Toph: QUICK! AANG, DO MOUTH TO MOUTH!
Aang: Why me?
Toph and Katara shrug and slam the door on his face.
Sokka: Who lit Toph on fire?
Toph: Zuko, if he hadn't lost his breath.
Sokka: I'm
a Barbie girl in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination,
life is your creation…
In the Office:
The Mighty Authoress: Let's end it in song…
The Co-Author: Are we getting Aang and Zuko out of the closet?
The Mighty Authoress: OF COURSE! They ARE the leading man and (coughgigglesnort) leading (coughgigglesnort) lady.
She burst out laughing. The Co-Author looks at her confused.
Back… wherever:
Zuko:
Ya never know what you're gonna feel, oh
Ya never see it comin' suddenly it's real
Aang:
Oh, never even crossed my mind, no
That I would ever end up here tonight
Both:
All things change
When you don't expect them to
No one knows
What the future's gonna do
I never even noticed
That you've been there all along
Chorus
Zuko & Aang:
I can't take my eyes off of you
I know you feel the same way too, yeah
I can't take my eyes off of you
All it took . . . Was one look
For a dream come true
Toph:
Yeah, we got a good thing goin' on
Katara:
Oh, right here is right where we belong
Both:
You never really know what you might find
Now all I see is you and I
You're everything I never knew
That I've been looking for
Chorus
Toph & Katara
All:
Can't take my eyes off of you
Oh, oh, oh yeah
So let the music play
Can't take my eyes off of you
Yeah, the feeling's getting' stronger
And I never ever felt this way
Alright, I see everything
In your eyes. . . Oh yeah
Alright, something's happening
Cause everyone's around but
You're the only one I see
Chorus
I can't take my eyes off of you
Feelings like I never knew
I can't take my eyes off of you
From the start. . . Got my heart
Yeah, you do
Can't take my eyes off you…
Sokka: AND I EXPLODED ON THE TOILET!
A/N: Will Aang and Zuko EVER EVER SAY THAT THEY WANT TO FUCK EACH OTHER?? (Gay Rainbow Pony Man: Like rabbits? The Mighty Authoress: Umm… DUH-HUR!?) Will Sokka EVER get off cactus juice? Will the Co-Author ever understand the meaning of 'multiplying like rabbits?' Will the Mighty Authoress ever stop being chased by her fan club? Will Toph and Katara ever do the Russian Twist? Will the Mighty Authoress ever clean out her mind? Find out next time on Randomosity for Nincompoops!