Once again I am winging it! I have no clue as too what I am planning here so please put up with me! Also seeing as I don't have a beta nor do I know how to get one nor do I really know what a beta is in the first place please forgive me for any mistakes that you see. Please enjoy!

Special note for Inumaru12: I have now updated! And according to your proposal in your review reply you are to update as well seeing as I have held up my end of said bargain! And Remember – I know all! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 4

Apologies

A·pol·o·gies (ə-pŏl'ə-jē)
n. Pl. a·pol·o·gies

An acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense.

A formal justification or defense.

An explanation or excuse

/I don't want you to apologize. And do you know why?/

Sanji was cooking in the kitchen. Although lost in his own thoughts, Sanji's hands seemed to understand that they were meant to prepare food, and were preparing a meal for the crew (was that salt or sugar that he just put on Luffy's meat?) Normally, Sanji would berate any shitty-cook who acted in such a manner. Later on, Sanji would mentally kick himself when he thought about how he acted like a shitty-cook but would stubbornly refuse to admit to anything, while sneakily putting extra meat on Luffy's plate to amend for his folly (yep. Definitely sugar.) But for now, Sanji was too deep in thought to care for his surroundings. How was he going to apologize? His cuts were uneven and all the vegetables he had been cutting were of different thicknesses instead of their usual uniformed sizes and shape. Eventually, Sanji got fed up with his still shaking hands and put his knife down (a chief never mistreats his knives, no exceptions). He slouched over the counter and plopped his elbows up, with his head in his hands. His blond hair covered his face like a veil as he pondered over what he planned to say to his captain.

So entranced in his own thoughts, Sanji didn't even notice said captain approaching him. Luffy didn't make a move to approach the cook. He just stood behind him waiting for Sanji to acknowledge him. Luffy knew that Sanji had something to say to him, just as Luffy had something to say to Sanji. Mugiwara no Luffy, not being the most patient person in the world, was only able to wait five minutes before he gave up and cleared his throat noisily in order to gain the cooks attention.

Whirling around quickly, Sanji flew into attack mode. His leg was mere centimeters away from Luffy's face before stopping upon seeing who it was he was about to kick. Luffy hadn't even blinked at the chief's move to attack him. A moment passed by before Sanji lowered his leg and took in his captain's pose. He was wearing a fresh red vest and his faded blue denim shorts. His legs were spread apart, braced for a battle almost. His arms were crossed stubbornly across his chest and his beaten straw hat sat daintily upon his head. A bandaged could be seen on Luffy's neck. And more bandages were wrapped around Luffy's arms, legs and hands. Despite being obviously injured, the look in his eye plainly stated that he was not leaving without answers.

The two of them gazed silently, glaring almost. The tense silence surrounded them as tension filled the air. Sparks electrified the small galley as captain and cook, nakama and nakama, stared each other down. Luffy, not one for long periods of silence either, was the one who made the first move.

"Sanji…what's wrong with you? You're out of it and you've been spacing out a lot. Tell me what's going on now. Captain's Orders."

Luffy, although he could be a genius at times could be very dense at other times. He didn't seem to realize what had been bothering his chief so much to cause him to act in such a manner. He stood there though, braced for what ever response he might get. Not expecting the answer he was going to receive at all.

"I wanted to apologize captain." Sanji stated. For his credit, Sanji stared directly into his captain's coal-black eyes as he said this. He watched the surprise and bewilderment draw itself on Luffy's face as he cocked his head unconsciously to the side.

"Why would you need to apologize to me Sanji?" Luffy responded, completely confused as to why his nakama would ever need to apologize to him for.

"I…I remember everything I said to you Luffy. Every word that I said to you…I…I was out of place and I was angry. Please accept my apology."

"No." was Luffy's reply. He had this impassive look on his face and his eyes held no emotion as he stared directly at Sanji. His body was tense and his muscles were taught. He was upset about something.

"N-nani!? Why not!?" Sanji stuttered out in reply. Luffy was never one to hold a grudge against nakama. He never held something above your head for too long. Was Luffy really so affected by what he said as to not being able to forgive him?

"Because," was Luffy's simple answer. He held his unwavering gaze steady on Sanji.

Sanji's mind was going a million miles a minute. He was trying to comprehend what was being said to him. In his mind Sanji was panicking, on the out side, the only visible sign that he was affected by what Luffy said was the slight shift in posture and the turning of hands into fists. Sensing Sanji's distress Luffy elaborated.

"Sanji, I don't blame you or anyone else for what happened on that island. I don't care if you're sorry about what happened. The past is the past. No use in apologizing over something that wasn't your fault."

"But it was my fault," Sanji replied swiftly.

"If what happened is your fault then everyone nearly dieing is my fault as well," Luffy stated without hesitation. He was completely sure of himself. The commitment that Luffy held within his eyes was so strong that it caused Sanji to look away.

"I don't understand," Sanji admitted mostly to himself, but Luffy responded anyway.

"You were angry, upset and scared. You weren't thinking strait. You didn't mean a word of it. It was wrong of you to say such things. Pick your excuse I don't care. We both know that the fact of the matter is, is that you meant what you said at the time, but you don't now. That's all that matters to me. So I refuse to accept an apology when an apology isn't needed."

With that Luffy left the galley and Sanji to his thoughts. With some renewed peace of mind Sanji returned to his work, only to be horrified at what he had done in his stupor. ("Why the hell is there sugar on this meat!?")

Diner that evening was…interesting, to say the least. Sanji, not being one to waste food, did what he could to salvage the meal. He evened out the vegetables as best as he could, he made a slightly sour sauce to balance out the outrageously sweet meat, he made plain white rice as a blancher, he even attempted to make the theme of the entire meal a sour-sweet mix. Something he hadn't done before. The food wasn't bad, it was just interestingly different. So different was the meal, even Luffy slowed down in his usual eating habits. They tasted each dish experimentally for the first few minutes. Nothing was said as they tried each new dish cautiously. After everything was deemed edible and delicious, the usual roughhousing noises erupted again.

After the meal Sanji was left to clean up the dishes. Intent on not losing himself in thoughts again, Sanji diligently scrubbed each dish until he could see himself in it. After the dishes were complete, Sanji went above deck for some fresh evening air. The sun was out of the sky now but the colors from what must have been a glorious sun set still painted the sky in their beautiful hues of gold, orange, pink and purple. The ocean sparkled and the breeze blew softly. Without the sun to guide them, they would need to drop anchor soon; it was too dangerous to attempt to sail through the night with no light to guide you. This is why pirates rise and fall with the sun, especially in a place as dangerous as the Grand Line. The sails were already furled up and a splash to his left told Sanji that the anchor had just been dropped. Zoro passed Sanji without a word as he went below deck to turn in for the night, but not before throwing the cook a curious glance. In response to the glance the cook merely inclined his head to show that he would be heading down soon as well. Although the bitterest of rivals they understood each other well enough.

Sanji wasn't sure of how much time had past as he watched to moon rise steadily. In its waxing gibbous stage, the moon provided enough light to illuminate the ship in its eerie glow. Stars lit up the sky and a sudden cold breeze went by. Shuddering out of his deep thoughts, Sanji turned to head inside only to see Robin in his path. Having not heard her approach, Sanji had to stop fast, nearly losing his balance. Smiling slightly Robin used her powers to help Sanji regain his balance as he mumbled a polite 'thank you mellorine' towards her.

"What is wrong Cook-san?" Robin asked plainly. The cook had been acting odd all day and it was beginning to concern Robin. Being direct, she supposed, would give her the answers she wanted faster then attempting to be discreet.

"Nothing is wrong! Have I worried you my sweet mellorine? I apologize for no one as beautiful as your self should have to worry about me!" Sanji immediately exclaimed. There was no reason for him to worry anyone was Sanji's general line of thought. The look of patience on Robin's face, with the slight undertones of annoyance, clearly told Sanji that she wasn't fooled. Sighing slightly he gave in and told her. "How could he forgive me? After all I said to him, why would he save my sorry self? No…he wouldn't even let me apologize. I don't understand at all."

Robin didn't need to be told who 'him' was. It was clearly their captain. Not wanting to reveal that she had listened in on the whole thing with the help of her powers, Robin smiled at the cook with her famous I-know-what-your-talking-about-but-for-you-sake-I' ll-pretend-I-don't-so-spill smile.

Falling for said smile the cook elaborated, "Luffy."

Nodding her head in fake understanding, Robin looked toward the sky with a different smile on her face. It was a new smile that had yet to gain a name. It was a smile she hadn't smiled in the longest time before meeting the straw-hat pirates. It was a smile full of affection and peace that filled her face whenever she thought of the boy who had saved her when she had given up on ever finding the 'true history' after the incident with Alabasta and Crocodile. Sanji was looking at the sky as well, the moon now high in the sky glowed brightly, giving off a beacon of hope on the darkest of nights. When it disappears, the darkness of the sky seemed to intensify and it felt like the sky was missing something very important. The moon, in a way, represented Luffy perfectly. He filled up the sky with his hopes and beliefs and never stopped believing in his nakama even when they stopped believing in themselves. Once a person saw their dark, night-filled world illuminate with the essence of the moon, they could never go back. Whenever it disappeared feeling of unease would arise and self doubt began to reappear, but the moon was never gone for long, just like Luffy. Luffy was like the moon in these ways.

However, Luffy was loud and bright like the sun. He was spontaneous and never dull. So full of energy and life and fun. He could brighten up a person's entire world and fill them with warmth that they so desperately needed. Giving out kindness and trust with no strings attached. In these ways he was like the sun.

And when ever the two sides of Luffy met, the sun and the moon, a wondrous sight occurred that people hardly ever got to see, but it is a sight that once seen, could never be forgotten. It is an indescribable occurrence that seldom occurs. If directed at an enemy it meant certain defeat. But if directed towards a friend it meant certain salvation.

Robin chuckled lightly thinking over what she should say that would comfort the cook. She opened her mouth to say something intelligent and complicated. She intended to tell him of the workings of their captain's mind and how he saw things. She indented to say many things, but what she said was what neither expected to hear.

"That's just the way Captain-san is."

She was surprised to hear herself say that. Had she not planned to explain things thoroughly and efficiently? Not missing a single detail of what she knew of their captain? The reason behind why she said what she did hit her suddenly. It was the truth. No one truly knew how the captain's mind worked, except maybe Zoro. Robin, who was famous for her keen eye of observation, knew very little of how her captain's mind worked. She who could tell you whether a person was good or bad, lying or speaking the truth, just by glancing at them, could not read past the smiling exterior of their raven-haired rubber captain. More surprising was that she was content not knowing. It didn't matter how Luffy's mind worked. For if his mind worked in a way that allowed her to be apart of his crew then she was content not knowing how. Just as long as it did.

Sanji, on the other hand, smiled around his cigarette. He understood perfectly what Robin had said. He gazed at the stars and whispered, "Yeah…" He now had some peace of mind. He understood better now. Turning around, Sanji headed back toward the men's quarters. It was late and he was tired. Robin climbed up onto the crow's-nest to complete her night of watch duty. Both parties smiled contently as the night wore on. A silent understanding had passed between them.

/I don't want you to apologize. And do you know why?/

/It's because…/

The next day

Explosions could be heard across the Merry Go as Usopp half-heartedly worked on improving his inventions. Half-heartedly for two reason: One he was still feeling guilty over what had been said to Nami, and two he was still half-asleep. (Technically that made it 1 ½ reasons) After having three of his experiments blow up in his face, Usopp knew that he couldn't avoid apologizing to Nami forever, so he might as well apologize now.

He searched all over the ship. The galley, the deck, the galley, the bathroom, the galley, he even checked the men's quarters before he decided it was time to be serious about finding her and heading to the women's quarters (He tried to check the galley again, but for some reason Sanji wouldn't let him in…). He hesitated by the door. What in the world could he possibly say to her? His knees were shaking and his palms were beginning to sweat. Would she even forgive him? Gulping audibly Usopp raised his hand to knock, hesitated for only a moment, and knocked three times on the door.

Upon, hearing Nami's voice call him in, opened the door and entered the women's quarters. A quick glance around told him that Robin was absent from the vicinity. Nami was working diligently on a map of the island they just left. An island is an island after all.

"What is it Usopp?" Nami asked, taking a break from her map making to converse with the sniper.

"A-ano I…I-I wanted to tell you…to tell you how…how I beat the mysterious giant squid! Yes that's it! It was a dark night near an island not to far from here; a beautiful young maiden's father had been taken by the giant squid. And I, the Great Captain Usopp decided that-"

"STOP LYING!" Nami yelled with her scary face on. "If you're not going to do anything but tell stories then tell them to Chopper! I busy you know?"

"Y-yeah I know. That wasn't what I came here for. Actually…I came here to…I came here to…apologize. For what I said to you back on the island. I…I really am sorry." Usopp amended. He was looking down at his feet. He didn't understand why he was so interested in the wooden floors. But there were interesting patterns if you looked at it in the right way. There's a bunny. Over there's a goose. That one there looked sorta like Sanji's head. And there'-

"No…I should be the one apologizing. I'm the one who slapped you after all….twice." Nami giggled lightly at that. Usopp's head snapped up and his gaze finally met hers for the first time since entering. Silent communication passed between them and they both understood. It was okay. There was no need to worry senselessly about unnecessary apologies. The both smiled at one another. Everything was going to be okay. If it hadn't been clear before than it certainly was at that point. Eventually, everything is going to be okay.

The mood of the ship has increased steadily these past few days. After Chopper un-bandaged Luffy, he immediately bounded out onto the deck. Stretching all about the ship and playing games with Chopper and Usopp. The straw-hat pirates quickly fell back into their normal routine. Nami was calling out orders when the ship strayed from its course and spent time writing her maps or sunbathing. Robin continued playing with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp with her Hana-Hana powers, Zoro continued his outrageous training followed by his extensive napping, Sanji still smoked up a storm and kicked out Luffy and the others when they tried to sneak in and steal food, Usopp still told stories, and Chopper still believed them.

To a naive outsider, it would seem as if nothing had changed at all. That what had happened on that island was past them and that- they never thought about it anymore. To a naive outsider it would appear that nothing had changed at all and that the straw-hats were completely affected by it. These outsiders would believe the straw-hats to be strong, being able to come out of an ordeal like that unaffected.

But to an outsider of keener sight, they would notice the subtle distances in the crew. They would notice how Zoro seemed to sleep closer to where his captain was. How he wouldn't sleep as deeply to keep himself alert for danger. How he trained twice as hard in the same amount of time and how he would gaze at his captain with a look of regret every now and then when he had to leave his side.

They would notice how Usopp stories stayed away from certain topics. They would notice how he would start a story in one direction before suddenly heading for another as if thinking twice about what he was saying. He seemed to think more about what he said and he made sure to explain certain aspects carefully to those who listened to him. He seemed to stress more about the importance of nakama and teamwork instead of how great he was. Granted they still stressed that but not to as great of an extent.

They would notice how Robin took more time to spend with everyone. Almost as if she feared losing them. She watched everything carefully as she mentally noted and stored away each moment she spent with the crew. She smiled more and she laughed more, even if it still wasn't often. She made more of an effort to be a part of things. She didn't want to regret anything.

They would notice Chopper experimenting more with new antidotes and cures. Experiments Chopper previously thought to dangerous to attempt were done. Almost as if he believed that if a risky experiment could save a life then the risk was worth it. He listened to Usopp's stories still, and he still believed them, but now picked out more details. Trying to understand what might happen or how. Trying to prevent something bad from happening again.

They would notice Nami reading the paper more thoroughly. It seemed as if she was trying to find the truths hidden with in the paper in stead of believing everything she read. it seemed she wanted to know what were the lies what was the truth and what was just not added in. She didn't want what happened to repeat just because she couldn't read the hidden meaning with in something. She would also read more of robin's history books when it came to the islands they were heading too. She was trying to learn everything she could about a potential enemy, she wanted to forewarn every one of any dangers the may lay ahead.

But most of all, they would notice Luffy's changes or rather the apparent lack there of. Even a person with keen eyes would not notice the changes in Luffy. His smile never seemed to falter. His appetite was still huge. He still pestered everyone to play with him. He still sat on Merry's head. Nothing seemed to have changed. So to an outsider with a keener eye would believe that the straw-hats were stronger than strong. They were invincible it seemed.

But anyone of the crew could see the slight differences in Luffy.

They could see that his smile now held more protectiveness to it as well as love. They could see that Luffy would always thank Sanji for the meal before wolfing it down, but they could see him savor every bite of it. They could see that though he still pestered them, the message behind it was now more relieved, as if he was relieved that they were here to pester at all. And when Luffy sat on Merry's head, the look in his eye was more determined then ever before. It was cool and calculated and determined and protective. They new he was thinking of ways to make himself stronger. He was thinking of new fighting styles and moves and what to do in different scenarios. He was serious at these times.

And though everyone on the crew noticed these changes with in their captain, they chose to pretend that they didn't notice at all. For their sake as much as Luffy's

/It's because the only way to move forward is to leave the past behind you. It's not like you or I can change it./

WOW! Hahaha that was a LOT of work! Wow. I've spent the past three sleepless nights working on this. I went over it and fixed any mistakes I could find. I constantly kept changing the way I wanted to end this. I typed this over and over until my butt became numb. An in the end, I am still not very satisfied with the ending. But hey, it's better than my first three endings!

Here are the people who answered my challenge: NeoGene, waver-chan (thanks for the glomp!), natsuumi, Loreto W, wanna-go-to-a-place

My reviewers: NeoGene, twilley, Inumaru12, Starchild49, waver-chan, Silverchild of the winds, Loreto W, wanna-go-to-a-place, b-potter-e, Lotus-chan, Tony WildRiver

There's no challenge this time because I feel that this time it is very obvious the meaning behind the words. I accept all forms of criticism and any advice or ideas you may have are welcomed graciously.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Did that get your attention? Good. Because this is important to any of you who enjoy this story and are looking for the next update. The rest of you can just leave since this won't concern you. Yeah that's it. Leave with your tail between your legs. Haha, look at that one bow his head in shame!

Yes well anyway, my next update will take me a while to do so since I've hit a wall. It's not that I don't know what to do for this story, it's that there's so much I want to do. It's going to take me a while to see what makes the cut and what doesn't so please be patient with me!

Here are some translations:

Nakama- Nakama is the same as friend but it's deeper than that. To be called nakama is the same as being called very close family or saying 'I love you' in a non-romantic way.

Galley- Ship term. It's the kitchen on a ship.

Merry-go- the name of the ship the straw-hats use. In the English version it's the Going Merry

Hana-Hana Fruit- flower flower fruit

Mugiwara no Luffy- Straw-hat Luffy

Thank you for reading my story! I hope I don't disappoint you with the finale/epilogu