Authors note: holy crapwaffles, I totally forgot (almost) to post this chapter; to be fair, I was abusing private matches in MW3 (FAD+extended mags+heartbeat sensor+gold camo= everyone's least favorite thing to be killed by…it's a fuckin' LMG!)(trollishly amazing)

Well, from what I can tell from my fans (yes, people ACTALLY read my writing) they are very enthusiastic about what I'm doing…frankly, I'm touched….I never was a good writer, and becoming a brony and reading "mamoo's" "out of the jungle" sealed my fate to trying to write; I thank all my readers, and (hint fuckin' hint) reviewers (COFF*REVIEW*COFF) you guys keep me runnin' an gunnin'

as it was one of my fans and first readers ROBBYTHEROUGE who suggested the mendezxdash thing…..frankly, THAT was a extremely important thing…..then we got palpatine…uh, fuck….i can't remember the numbers in his name. (sorry bro)…but, he was another reason I kept writing; he continued the genre of HALO-MLP stories, something the word needs more of…(read his story my little halo, friendship is tactical if you know what's good for you) then we have the man, and Denmark…(denmarkanese?) a denmarkish tom Clancy…he suggested I change my writing style; if you couldn't tell, it's the style this story (and my future plans beyond and related to FFE) feature. Then there's turdy1…he's just a fuckin' pimp, who gives good ideas…and understands to pain of high school; I feel like a douche because my mind went blank when I said this…it's only 11:oo pm with a sugar crash, and school tomorrow; I will gouge my eyes out later.

Well, I don't want to make the author's note longer than the story, and I need my shut-eye, so here it is:

Chapter 4: accepting incest-ia in your life.

Mendez trotted into the UNSC graveyard, and looked around; it seemed almost like someone lived there, the gravesites of ODST'S not shipped back were we taken care of, and even trails were in place! He noticed what looked like a trailer near the edge of the site, and slowly headed for it, to see if anything was there.

(Inside of the trailer)

Marcus was cleaning his M6 when he heard a clatter outside in the yard, and picked up his shotgun; he listened closely as hoof-steps approached, and as the pony entered, he yelled "HOOVES UP MOTHER-FUC-….Mendez? W…T….H, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? IT'S 343 MILES FROM PONYVILLE!"

Mendez's jaw hit the ground: in front of him was his old CO and friend, abet non-shaved, pointing a gun at him; it was mind-blowing.

Marcus stopped for a moment and said "how do I know you ARE Mendez, not one of the princess's SPIES!"

"I know you have a total boner for vinyl scratch."

"…..dammit, you are Mendez."

Mendez smiled and said "great to see you, boss; but, what happened, I mean, I thought you were dead since-" Marcus interrupted "since I blew up the bar? Made it look like a perished? That was so the princess would stop trolling me; I wanted to stay on Equestria for "peace and quiet", not "get graped by the princess"!

Mendez said "don't you mean "raped" by the princess?"

"she was a freak, don't ask…..I was violated, and will never see fruit or door locks the same EVER again."

"Oh"

Marcus poured Mendez a tall glass of sour mash whiskey with a shot of manticore blood (aged for 1 year) and sat down, eager to hear what had taken place since he vanished; he was less than enthused to hear that things sorta fell apart for everyone, and that Mendez hadn't seen dash in a while, and by extension, almost committed suicide….it sounded strangely like a bad fanfic wrote by a high-schooler.

Marcus couldn't believe it though; things weren't BAD when he left, vinyl scratch had made a radio station, twilight became a modestly popular writer about humans, applejack got a good harvest, and replaced her granny's hip…again. But, then HE leaves, and shit goes sour!

Mendez shook his head and said "I probably will move out of ponyville, and maybe get a job under ridinoff's command…but, that would suck too; he became a desk jockey not too long ago due to an "incent" with troop morale and reasonability, but because he still was a hero to canterlot officials, he was given a unmentioned promotion and given job as quartermaster, I heard."

Marcus got up and said "FUCK IT! Living out here SUCKS. Princess or not, I am going back to ponyville, rebuilding my bar, and my life! C'mon Mendez, we are leaving!" he turned to see Mendez eyeing a dusty bottle of alcohol on the shelf and said "you got Santana DVX? THAT'S MY CHOICE!"

Marcus sighed; they weren't leaving for quite a while now.

(outside of Marcus's bunker/hut…)

Incestia had followed this "Mendez" to this place, and watched in awe as they sat and had smiles and laughter as they caught up on old times; she never first-hand saw a smile of pure goodness in "the hub"…only evil I-killed-your-wife smiles.

She decided it was time to see if they were as friendly as first looks suggested, as she opened the door and walked inside.

(back to Marcus…)

He had to admit; he didn't drink TOO much DVX, but the stuff could fuck you up any way you look at it…so maybe he drank too much, seeing that an ugly-ass alicorn had suddenly materialized in the center of the room. He tapped Mendez on the shoulder and said "you seeing what I'm' seeing, or am I drunk?"

Mendez put the bottle down, winced at the sight of the alicorn, took a HUGE chug and said "I'm seeing it, and all it tells me is I ain't drunk nuff' "

Incestia's face went red for a second as she softly said "you boys are not drunk; I am real…yes, I know I am not the looker, but at least give royalty SOME respect!"

Marcus and Mendez looked at each other, then said "well….maybe we will when you answer: 1) who are you 2) why are you here 3) how the FUCK did you get in here without alerting us? Then maybe we will."

Incestia nodded and said "very well….my name is princess incestia, supposed ruler of "the Hub" and most powerful alicorn ever documented…I saw the stallion walking here, I followed him using invisibility, then I stepped in after I saw you guys laughing and such; I never see people or ponies laughing in the Hub."

Marcus nodded and said "well, where is the hub, and why is royalty from somewhere else in Equestria?"

She stopped for a moment, thinking, then said "it isn't in this dimension, it is in the 2nd dimension, more-or-less an evil version of this place…one of my forced intern advisors teleported me and some others to this place; I don't know where the others are, though…. Or why I was even sent here…I wasn't listening to him."

Marcus stood up and said "well, maybe we can FINALLY go to ponyvi-"

Before he could open his mouth, incestia looked at the bottle Mendez was holding and said "SANTANA DVX? THAT'S MY CHOICE!"

Marcus started crying as Mendez and incestia started singing the song by the lonely island of the same name.

(several hours and bottles later…)

Marcus and company had managed to stop drinking, and pack up a few supplies as they began the trek back to ponyville; Marcus found that incestia was rather cool, and didn't try to rape him all the time, which was a bonus given his track-record with other alicorns

Marcus knew that some of the factions that were teleported in during the 2nd equestrian conflict were still around, and this area was no more than 5 miles from the hot spots of the action; his assumptions were very much true as a red bolt of energy flew past his head.

Marcus hit the deck as more bolts started whizzing past them; he looked over some cover and saw at least 10 soldiers in blackish-red armor shooting lasers at them. He pulled a frag out of his pocket, and tossed it out in the open; he was showered by "FUCK! TO THE GROUND!" and a large explosion, pouring up lots of dirt, but no kills.

He pulled his MA5 out and stood up, gun blazing; he saw the enemies kicked around by the bullets, but none of them went down, except maybe a lucky bullet that went into the lead one's neck. Marcus winced in pain as a red laser hit him in the arm, and he got down behind cover; he looked at the wound and saw charred bone and flesh where his skin used to be.

He looked over at Mendez, who was trying to un-jam his pistol, but incestia was no-where to be seen; Marcus lowered his head in disappointment, she had ditched them, and left them to die.

As the enemy troops climbed over the log to finish them off, Marcus heard incestia say "gottcha", and in a blink of an eye, the armored troopers started grabbing their heads in pain, until they exploded in clouds of red mist.

Incestia lowered her invisibility cloak and said "I don't think they like the fact I started playing your "CCR" songs at full blast in there headset-COMS"

Marcus reached down and felt the spot where his iPod 3000 was supposed to be and said "well, tell me about this next time; I hope you didn't waste the battery."

Mendez nodded and said "well, should we go before more of those guys come along?" Marcus nodded as they continued their trek to ponyville, and put quick heal bio-foam on his wound.

(50 feet away, hidden in the treeline…)

Knight temoc had been tracking the éclair combat squad for several days now; he was shocked that 3 outsiders had managed to take down the entire team….the fraternity would want to know this, because they were waging their own little private war against the éclairs, trying to find technology to re-build and start humanity in this new dimension.

He climbed down the slope so he could check the bodies of the attack squad, then head for home.

Author's note: the frat. Of tin has basically all remaining tech. of value in Equestria, including teleporter…remember that, all this insanity has a rhyme, and reason…. Well, you see that button that says "review this chapter"? if you press is, the ammo press will give you 2000 10-mm rounds for that "Sidney's 10-mm "ultra" SMG" we KNOW you are spamming…

Anything you want to ask? That is what review and maybe PM is for.

-M.B