Hey there, DxD fandom. It's your favorite lemon-loving, bash-hating, weirdfanfiction-making witch of the red dragon emperor back.

So like I said before, RL has been a real pain in my schedule, but like I've been also saying, things are getting a bit better nowadays, and because of that, my updates has been getting there as well, if not a little short on the idea. So since I already uploaded my DxD: Twice Critical story, it is friday the 13th as of yet and this seems the day for arrogant pricks' stories to be updating, I think it's time to give another chance to diodora. So, without further addo, have a good read and don't forget to review!

As always, dxd doesn't belong to me~.

"Come on in, come on in. I must say, although your help wasn't needed in the slightest, a little courtesy is a little I can offer to my to-be saviours."

"I-I'm honoured, Miss Clarimonde. Your reward is unexpected, but welcomed." I stuttered a little, making Gowther elbow me on the stomach so that I could come back to normal.

Again, Again I fucked up my own calculations and end up in a pinchy situation. While the initial plan was a success, that foolish vampire princess really thinks I'm her savior to be, the rest of it was thrown out of the window the moment those weakling villagers were turned into shish-kebab, only Gowther and I the only survivors of that massacre. And now, to top it all off, I was invited to enter the Gautier mansion, this enormous place filled with security golems and bats all over the place seeing my every move, no place to hide or discuss Plan B, until I get away with it. Fucking Great. Somehow, this same feelings of burning ass' hair is nostalgic. Damn Red Dragon emperor, by the way...

"Well then, come in. I have some snacks and tea to share with my to-be saviours. I guess those would be the least of my formalities." She says as we walk inside a particular room, completely covered in velvet fur, a little dusty due to its apparent age. She was the first to make herself comfortable, unleashing her wings to fly all the way to an worn-out sofa and lay in there, hands supporting face. Talk about nonchalant. She snaps her fingers, and after a few seconds, a ghoul servant crawled from the depths of fuckery to place a cute plate of tea and snacks on the table in front of us, before going away. "Well then, serve yourselves... Then leave. This shall be enough for the intention, but you need nothing else."

"Bitch..." Now it was my time to elbow Gowther so her words wouldn't make Clarimonde upset. I return to my pretty-fuckboy facade under her nose and bowed for her gentility; taking a small bite out of the raisins' cookies and honey-filled tea, all so sweet to the point I thought I was going to get diabetes or something, my black-haired partner doing the same. "I mean... A thousand 'thank you' for such gentility, Lady Gautier. I must say, your kindness shines supreme compared to your fellow vampires, so full of arrogance and haughtiness."

"Indeed. That is why the Gautier family does not possess any more ties to the main branch of Vampiric families. That, and for my eponymous ancestor and her affair with humans." The little bitch took another sip out of her honeyed tea only to give herself another pat on the back and shot us a glance of contempt and impatience, probably running thin on patience. How do I know? I used to give those exactly stares back when I was royalty. I must say, seeing this by the other side double pisses me off. "Now stop running your mouths in pointless chit-chats and rush with my delicacies. These are the least amount of regales I shall hand to you two, and I need neither your empty praises or time in the entrails of my glorious mansion. Enjoy your treats then leave, your fetid presences are wasting my splendor."

...

BITCH!

Calm down, Diodora. As much as you want to fuck this whore up hell and back, you must remain focus, like Big Bro Ajuka would tell you. That bitch pride of mine got the best out of me thinking I would recruit someone like Clarimonde Gautier, the deadwoman in love, that easily, like a shitty OC would. No, I must use my brain to get her attention and fast; those vampire shits are so up into their own asses they can practically eat and shit at the same time, so I have keep having her attention before the second order. I took a look at my comrade sir Gowther, and while calm, I could see was also on the brink of a nervous breakdown. Women. I signed to her...

'Not now, sir Gowther. I may have a way to gain her trust and take her to our side. Calm down, now...'

'I am calm, Diodora Astaroth. So calm, I can blow up a hole in Lady Clarimonde's chest and explode her head off with a smile and wink without even flinching...'

'Please don't do this. She's essential to my... Our plan, and if you want that sweet Gremory boy butt and Leonardo's phimosis dick, you better follow my instructions...'

'Okay, fine. You have five. Fucking vampire...'

This conversation was purely telepathic, by the way. How we did it? Magic...

"Don't be so harsh, Lady Clarimonde, I'm sure there is some kindness into your heart left to help poor wanderers like us, and I can assure you, we would also like to reattribute some gentilities." I put on my pretty boy mask again and offered her my own gentle words, I must also utilize her typical vampiric pride in order to lure her like a sweet nun to a 'poor helpless devil' and grab her by the tits and never let go. Gosh, I miss Vanessa... anyway. She seemed to buy it, a finger on her chin and a smile drawn on her cryptic lips. "So, since we are here, we could humbly ask for a favor of the illustrious Vampiric heiress of the Gautier? I assure you, our retribution shall be equally as rewarding, and...!"

"Denied."

...

Hah...?

"C-Come again, my Lady Clarimonde...?"

"Your praises are only natural for yours truly, and indeed, the kindness of the Gautier knows no boundaries, however... What can a pair of two beggars offer to me?" And one hit the strings on of my heart, so much I almost throw up, while Sir Gowther spat some of her tea in her mouth. "See this mansion? See the Crest of the Gautier? See the corpses of those foolish enough to trespass my territory? I, Clarimonde Gautier, have nothing of waste of amiss, and from point of view, it is certainly nigh-insulting that you thought you could offer any services for me or my kin, waiting something in return. You, a devil with a manure-coloured hair and a face only a molester would have, and a human wench with the stench of a thousand males and carnage? It's pathetic and certainly almost hilarious. I would be laughing if the risk of vomiting wouldn't be holding back my entrails. Just leave my castle before you contaminated it with your germs."

"..."

"..."

"..."

...

'Diodora Astaroth...'

'I mean, she's not wrong...'

'Diodora...!'

'But yeah, let's kick this bitch's teeth!'

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~...!"

"...?" But before we could do anything about that blood-cock-sucker, a loud, shrieking, terrifying wail crossed the walls of the Gautier mansion and into our ears, making us stop on track and Lady Clarimonde to shiver a little, drawing an annoying face. Okay, what the fuck? Is one of the servants watching zombie porn or something? "What was that all about?"

"Farmer boy. Around 12-years old, probably still an ass virgin, but no more it seems." I turn at Sir Gowther, and with glasses appearing out of nowhere and with a small bit of drool down her mouth. Talking about an expert... Wait, does that mean we're not alone? Is there another person around this area, with a little boy dungeon around no less? I turn back to Lady Clarimonde, and she seems annoyed. Sir Gowther also turns to us. "I assume he's around maybe not far away from this castle, a few wards away, maybe? By the impact of the scream, it's pretty close."

Oh. You fucking pervert...

"Grrr... There he goes again, that Gilles de Rais bastard, filling my property with debauchery and nonsense. Not even a tea party is the same with the scream of his boys filling this place." She mumbles under her own breath, eyes looking at a random direction in annoyance.

Wait, did she just say... Gilles de Rais? The serial killer and rapist? But... How? He was suppose to be dead, killed by the combined forces is in-laws before taking the life of his supposedly last wife... But then it hits me, maybe his soul has transmigrated to someone else's, much more like Jeanne's. That would make sense... I mean, it would make more sense than, say, an unneeded crossover with characters from other series, like that won't get annoying rapidly! Meta jokes aside, apparently Gilles de Rais reincarnated, and he became a nuisance to the Clarimonde household, to Clarimonde herself... Oh, can you hear that? The engines are turning inside this ingenious mind~!

"I couldn't help but notice that Lady Clarimonde seems to be bothered by... Sir Gilles... Activities." I lifted a hand to call for her attention, Sir Gowther still smiling and drooling just with the thought of what the hell is happening near here. There, a bait! Maybe I can trail it all back! Gotta stay calm, stay focus, don't keep your hopes up too much. "Well, why do yourself take care of this small nuisance? For a Illustrious lady of such noble family, Lady Clarimonde would be forced to be here mourning about her disrupted calmness just because of some transmigrated ex-knight."

"It seems, devil, that the so-called Ex-knight does posses some power his previous incarnation gave him: his affiliation with the holy power gave him the ability to localize and barrier himself and his territory from creatures of the night such as ourselves. As you could witness, sails of his victims can still be heard." She bites her fingers until blood was coming out of them, the frustration being almost palpable. Suddenly Sir Gowther stood up from her seat, and shined us a grin of audacity. What now?

"Oh-hoh, really? But, oh dear, it seems that even with his so-called holy powers, my magic is still able to localize him and his... Boytoys..." She so slyly says, licking her lips and eyes closed to let her imagination fly. Disgusting, but she has a plan. "Lady Clarimonde, if you could so kindly help us with our ordeal later, maybe we could take care of your little problem regarding sir Gilles de Rais."

"Me? Taking favours from a lowly human?" She made a face as she was just slapped, Shock and confusion but a bit of hope shining through her crimson eyes, soon fading as she shakes her head to maintain her prime and proper pose of a classic lady. I exchange glances at Gowther, we share a smile. Oh, the shit it's on. "Truly, I myself cannot bring myself to localize and finish the little pest by myself, but don't underestimate me. The name of Clarimonde of the Gautier won't be reduced so lowly as to ask the assistance of a lowly human and a weak devi-...!"

"Hah...! Hah...! Hah...! Haaaaaah~...!"

"Hohoh~, that one was from a ten-year old rich kid. You can hear from his small bursts that he lived a very sheltered life~." Sir Gowther smiles once again to those inappropriate screams from children next door, being violated by history's most known rapist and murderer. We turn to lady Gautier, and she was already rocking her teeth against each other. Now, time to play with the trump card...

"Well then. The snacks and tea were fantastic, expecting nothing less from the glorious name of the Gautier. Since it's already finished and we no other business here, we shall be taking our leave." I Said with a polite bow and a sly grin back to Gowther hearing those boyish screams, seeing that vampire Thot bite her lower lips and grab the end of her skirt. Yeah, grow frustrated, you slut, just a little more, just a little more. "Let's go, Gowther. Let's respect Lady Clarimonde's wishes and let her take care of her problems herself, for the sake of her clan."

"Y-Yea, definitely." The Vampire whore nodded, but I could see she was starting to break. Ah, it's not the same as seeing a nun having it, but slowly seeing them broken is so satisfactory, I just hope I'm not having my typical nun-boner right now. My hard-on, the scream from boys, that would be weird as fuck. "Indeed. Wait a minute; I shall order an undead servant to guide you so you stop stanching my castle any long-...!"

"Haaaaaaaaauuuuuuuh~...!"

"Aaaah~, my favorite one: a choir boy. I thought I didn't see any churches around~." Gowther practically jumped on that one with a hand between her thighs, and I snickered, seeing Clarimonde flinch and grow more and more frustrated. Suddenly, I heard a murmur coming from her, those last string of sanity and willpower wavering away in her mind. Just as planned.

"I... Me..."

"I'm sorry, did I hear something?" I so innocently turned to her with my typical smile and containing myself so I wouldn't curse and laugh at her face. She was almost on the brink of tears, and seeing her from above gave me again that sense of superiority I missed so much! I came closer, and she looks at me, frustration practically brimming from her eyes. "Lady Clarimonde, I couldn't hear it right. Could you repeat it?"

"..." She opens her mouth then closes it again, like a fish would. "Is... Is it true? The human can... Localize and finish Gilles de Rais herself? Even... Break his barrier and kill him?"

"Yes, indeed. But why you ask? I wonder." Now I'm just toying with her. My favorite part~.

"..."

"Haaaaaaaah... Haaaaaaaaah... Haaaaaaaah...!"

"Kyaaah~, now that's the sound of an orphan having all of his dreams of a happy family crushed~!"

Gowther, seriously Shut up! I'm trying to be an crafty son of a bitch here!

CAHAM!, anyway...

"So. I wonder... why would you ask if Sir Gowther was capable of removing the barrier and finish Off Gilles de Rais?"

"..." And there it comes. Finally some progress, it was a lucky shot for me to have such a powerful magician in my team in such moment of need. It seems the luck has sided with me, Diodora Astaroth, once again, and it was already on the goddamnit time! Finally, after today, with a weapon at hand plus Lady Clarimonde's help, I shall finally be able to start carving my way to the top again, destroying every and anyone would dare to stand in my way, including the damned Red dragon Emperor, and have my dear beloved Asia by my side once again! All that I need are Clarimonde's words. All that I need is her help~! "I... I..."

"Yes, Lady Clarimonde?"

"I..."

"Yes!"

"I... Just wanted to say that your human companion just vanished."

...

Eh...?

"My... Human companion?" I questioned her as she points a finger to behind me, forcing me to turn around and gasp in surprise: nothing there but a puddle of... Spunk where Sir Gowther originally was, the pussy juices going all the way to the exit of the mansion, a single silhouette vanishing within the woods. Oh, what the hell? Where do Gowther go?! And why did she leave?! I was so close in making Sir Gowther work for us here, all she needed was to say that she wanted us to get rid of Sir Gilles de Rais and the sounds of his foolish torture boy-...!

...

Oh that shotacon, phimosis-loving, priest-looking, backfucker CUNT!

"SIR GOWTHER!" And then I unraveled my wings to burst out of the castle at high speed, going inside the woods in the search of my pedophile partner, following the spunk juice she left and her womanly scent of a cat in heat! The wails of the boys she love so much are also growing louder and clearer, so my I'm glad I didn't eat the shit-tasting lunchbox Panini gave me, and soon enough, I saw at the end of a shadowy castle in the middle of nowhere my black-haired companion, creating several magic circles in a specific spot, so frenetically moving them around and coding new formulas and circles with a mix of drool and juices down her legs!

In the end, she finished one final code of her magical rune, and suddenly, I heard the sound of something crashing like glass, as an immense transparent dome of darkness appeared only to vanish soon after, revealing between the dark woods an enormous castle, just as big as the Gautier's, with a bit of a medieval looking and, worst of all, decorated with decaying flags of the old France and moss. Gowther practically jumped with her new discovery, taking her way to inside the castle. From here, I retrieved my wings once again to land next to her, and from where, I can hear the wails of all the boys inside...

"It hurts... it hurts~...!"

"Mommy... Daddy... I want my family~...!"

"Someone... Please... Save me..."

"Don't worry, my dear delicious boys~! I will savor you all~!" And then she went to inside the mansion! Motherfucking bitch, she didn't notice me!

"Sir Gowther! What the FUCK?!" I asked her, and she didn't turn around to face me! Goddamnit, goddamnit that shotacon harlot! I couldn't take it anymore! What the fuck is today?! Why?! Why can't anything work with me now?! FUCK! "You harlot?! You're going to give up on me just because of your hedonistic desires?! I WAS SO CLOSE! SO CLOSE IN FOOLING THAT HARLOT CLARIMONDE AND YOU HAD TO...!"

"Fool What harlot now?"

"...!" My blood froze the moment I heard that monotonous yet dangerous tone of voice behind my back, and much more like a robot, I turned around, only to see several spikes of blood aimed at me, and inside the darkness of the forest, two crimson orbs were screaming bloody murder on my head. Oh fuck... She's here as well? "Uh..."

"As you said before... Repeat yourself, my dear devil. I... Couldn't hear you very well." She speaks, her blood stakes coming ever closer, forcing me to retrieve a little. Oh no, oh shit... Gotta stay calm, play it cool, maybe you can play on her pride again...! C'mon, Diodora Astaroth!

"W-Well... You see...! Hah... Ahahaha... Lady Clarimonde...!"

*BUMP!*

"Eh...?" But before my mind could formulate a convincing line, I feel my back bumping into something, and only now notice how dark my vision has become as Clarimonde also wides her eyes to behind me. I so scary turned around, and I end up seeing... My own reflection...

My own reflection distorted against a rusty plate armor, a shadow casted upon my face. The tall figure, so tall I could only turn above it to see the true stature of that monster, and then, with black shaggy hair covering two silver murderous eyes among the shadows upon me and Lady Clarimonde, wearing a complete French armor bathed in blood and rust, and the smell of blood and cum dripping from him... So, just like Jeanne, he has really transmigrated to the world of the living...

Gilles de Rais.

"Who dares to disturb my... Nights of pain and delight? The nights of Gilles de Rais?"

...

FUCK!

A bit on the shorter part, but I hope it was a good chapter. Hope you all liked and greetings~.