* * *

Darkness had fallen and Kirney stood gazing out of the large window, sipped on her wine and enjoyed the warmth from the heating grid spreading through her feet. Her stomach gurgled appreciatively as it began digesting dinner and she smiled slightly to herself. Myn's father had been right – Jaleela's roasted avian was truly marvelous. Her mouth watered at the memory of the taste of the fine meat and all those delicious side dishes. When was the last time she'd eaten this well?

When Myn took me to the small corellian restaurant, she answered her own question and gave a sigh of satisfaction. It's the love that went into making the food, she concluded. You can really taste it.

As her mind drifted back to their first real date – First date after first kiss, she thought and felt a lazy grin spread on her lips. Wouldn't want to do anything by the book, would we? – she remembered the elderly couple running the place. She had kept a solid grip on the small number of waitresses, directing them with the silent efficiency of a royal court's majordomo and the warmth of a well-meaning grandmother. He, on the other hand, had been the master of the kitchen, the chef. He'd been proud of his profession, of his art, and a perfectionist in everything. And despite his drive for perfectionism Kirney had seen the love between these two people in each word, in each gesture. They had been proud of their small restaurant and that pride had translated into excellent food and a warm and inviting atmosphere.

She stared out into the darkness, but her eyes didn't see the here and now but were turned inwardly, watching pictures which had burned themselves into her memory. It took her a while to realize that she was indeed staring at something outside the window … Her eyes widened slightly.

Selan put another log into the fireplace and hit a switch disguised as ornament. There was a soft hiss of effusing gas and a spark and suddenly flames engulfed the dry wood. "Ah," he sighed and rubbed his hands. "That's better."

Kirney glanced at him. "So this is snow?" she asked and gestured at the window.

"Snow?" He was up and by her side in an instant.

Outside the clouds had dropped another notch and shrouded the world in a haze of grey. Thick white flakes were drifting down from the sky, gently, slowly and silently. At first there were few of them, but the longer they stared the thicker the snowfall became. Soon they had difficulties even making out the outlines of the fence separating their garden from the narrow road.

"Yes." Selan's voice was almost reverent. "That's snow. It's amazing, isn't it?"

She gave him a curious stare. It would have never occurred to her that the tough former soldier had such a soft spot for winter weather. Although, as she had to admit quietly, the falling flakes were really something.

He smiled at her somewhat doubtful expression. "It'll be better in daylight, once the land is covered by a thick layer of snow. This," he said and gestured at the world outside, "is just the beginning."

Kirney heard the conviction in his voice and decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "I believe you."

Selan's eyes took on a far-away gleam. "When you look at a white landscape … it's just more peaceful. The snow covers any imperfections and hides them from the naked eye. And it mutes sounds. The world is more quiet, more relaxed. The hectic of everyday life just isn't there. I love that more than the most exotic tropical beach."

"So this is your perfect ideal of Midwinter, isn't it?"

"Not quite," he said wistfully and gave her a small sad smile.

She knew what he was getting at and the thought put a damper on her feeling of well-being. "I miss him, too," she muttered quietly.

Selan turned to look out of the window again. "This is the fifth Midwinter without him and although he's never far from our thoughts we miss him even more on holidays like this." He darted a quick glance over his shoulder, at the passage into the corridor, before he returned his gaze to the falling snow. "It's even worse for Jaleela. Myn's our only child and when we meet up with my brother's kids and grandkids she cannot help the melancholy overcoming her. She tries to gild it with forced cheer, but I know being apart from him hurts her. And then there are her nephew and nieces, and their kids, so the separation is being rubbed right into her face."

Kirney picked up her glass of wine from the windowsill and took a sip. "That's why I worked so hard to ignore holidays, you know. For years they reminded me of how alone I was in the galaxy so I did my utmost to forgo holidays. Out of sight, out of mind."

"I know." He put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "But it's about time that changed, isn't it?"

She grinned. "With you reminding me every five minutes how could I possibly get around it?"

He chuckled and moved to the dinner table to pour himself a glass of the red wine Kirney had brought along. When he joined her at the window again he took a sip and sighed appreciatively. "Good wine. It was a nice idea to bring it along."

"It was Kolot's idea," she admitted with a sheepish smile. "He said it's customary to bring along something to a dinner invitation. And since me and cooking aren't exactly on the same wavelength he suggested some decent wine."

"He's quite thoughtful, your little furry friend."

"He's always thoughtful when it pertains to his stomach," she snorted.

"Everyone's got at least one vice," Selan said wryly. "I've got caramel candy, my wife has these corny holo soaps, my brother's into Corellian brandy from the Old Republic … and Kolot has his appetite."

Kirney's answering smile was wistful. "And my weakness is your son."

"Don't you think that's more of a strength?" Selan asked warmly, took a sip and turned to stare out of the window again. "When was the last time you saw him?"

She didn't have to think to know the answer. She'd been counting the days ever since. "Ten months, sixteen days and eight hours ago."

"That's exact, I guess."

"Yeah." She rubbed her face wearily. "We met in a spaceport cantina on Sluis Van, shortly after Thrawn had wrought havoc in the shipyards. It was an hour at the most and I still don't know how he got permission to be there at all." The ghost of a wicked grin appeared on her lips and she gave him a glance from the corner of her eyes. "Didn't even manage to work on those grandkids you've been talking about."

Selan, who had been taking a sip of his wine, choked and spilled the ruby liquid all over his shirt, pants and the carpet. His eyes watered and he coughed trying to evict the offending fluid from his windpipe.

Kirney snickered, secretly pleased that she'd managed to shake him up a bit. "Did I say something wrong?" she inquired sweetly.

"I didn't need to know that," he finally croaked. Spreading his arms he scowled at his sullied clothes and the wet splotch on the carpet and mumbled, "Jaleela is going to kill me."

"Well, then you better go and change," she suggested slyly. "Might postpone your termination."

He gave a hiss of exasperation. "You are crazy. When you make that final jump someone's gotta be on standby with a shovel to clobber that loose mouth of yours. Otherwise it might not shut up."

Kirney grinned at him. It felt good to be able to banter with someone else this way, no holds barred, no fear of letting something slip. How had she been able to live without it? "I've been a member of the galaxy's undoubtedly craziest snubfighter squadron and I've got an Ewok as co-pilot. Crazy is a given, me thinks."

Selan let out a snort of amusement and left the room.

Kirney smiled and shook her head as she turned back towards the window. The snowfall had intensified. Thick flakes were drifting down in an endless stream, already forming a thin white layer on the bushes and hedges and shrouding the outside world in a white and grey haze.

You should get going, the analytical part of her mind spoke up. Before it gets worse. Visibility is already lousy. You don't want to risk a speeder accident, do you?

Kirney frowned at the thought. She felt so comfortable here for there was a warmth that her own apartment was lacking and that had nothing to do with the fireplace or the heating grids. She felt reluctant to leave so early.

Ask if you can stay here tonight, another voice suggested meekly. They won't say no.

A sudden droidish squeal of indignation jolted her out of her reverie. She turned to look at Tonin and Kolot who had been silently playing with Selan's Dejarik board and saw Kolot bang a furry fist against the astromech's domed top.

"Kolot no cheat. This move right."

Tonin squawked sharply and powered up his holoprojector. Characters appeared in mid-air, illegible from where Kirney stood, but it seemed to be a longer text. The droid scrolled down and highlighted a certain paragraph.

Kolot scowled.

"Can't you two stop bickering just for one day?" Kirney turned around and crossed her arms. "It's Midwinter and we are guests. Behave appropriately."

"Kolot no cheat," the Ewok repeated forcefully. "No knew this move not allowed."

"Okay. So you made a mistake. What's the problem?"

Tonin chirped a reply, his answer replacing the exerpt of the Dejarik rules he'd shown before.

Kirney narrowed her eyes. "What kind of language is this, Squirt? We're not in a Spaceport cantina. Behave or I'll switch you off for a while." She pointed at the Dejarik board. "So, if Kolot's last move was not regular he must undo it and make a new one. And no more arguing!"

Kolot hit the undo button with a sigh and even the astromech's hoot was subdued.

Kirney hid a smirk as she turned her attention back towards the world outside the window. The two of them were really something. A sudden movement on the other side of the fence surrounding the garden caught her eye. She squinted and tried to make out more than the dim outline of a person she'd spotted coming down the road but the snow obscured any details. She couldn't make out more than a grey something, almost like a ghost in the night. Her curiosity spiked as the person opened the small door in the fence and entered the Donos estate. She felt her eyes widen when the spark of recognition shot through her mind. She let out a piercing whoop of joy and dashed out of the living room, yanked open the front door and ran out to throw herself at him.

At her sudden exclamation of joy Kolot and Tonin had looked up from their game. They stared after her, puzzlement evident on the Ewok's features, then they looked at each other.

Tonin tootled a question.

"No idea." Kolot gave a shrug and rose. "We go look?"

The astromech beeped his agreement.

Just as they entered the corridor the doors to the kitchen and bedroom opened and Myn's parents appeared. Both exchanged a puzzled glance, then they turned to look at Kirney's companions. "What was that?"

Kolot shrugged again. "We playing. Then Kirney make strange noise and run outside. No idea why." He pointed at the open front door. "We better go look."

As soon as they stepped across the threshold Selan felt his wife grab his hand and squeeze it tightly. "Myn!" That was all she said but it was enough.

Selan briefly tightened his own hold on her hand and then put his arm around her shoulder to bring her even closer. He gave a tremolous smile as he watched the passionate reunion of his son and the woman who loved him. Now it is a perfect Midwinter, he thought and felt immense satisfaction flood his guts.

"He's home," Jaleela croaked weakly, still clutching her husbands hand and cried tears of joy. "He's really home."

There was a sudden sigh coming from below and Selan focused his gaze on the Ewok. "Kolot thinks will have to sleep on couch tonight," Kolot said with a touch of resignation colouring his voice.

Myn's father grinned at the slightly disgruntled look that crossed the Ewok's features. "You'll survive." He looked back at the still kissing couple and a wicked gleam entered his eyes. "Hey you two," he shouted. "Get a room!"

Jaleela chuckled as the two sprang apart, but it turned into a squeak of surprise when Myn let go of Kirney and ran over to hug his mother. "Let me breath," she gasped and laughed when he whirled her around. "Put me down you overgrown womprat!"

Myn laughed but complied with her order and turned to his father. The two men embraced tightly. "Sorry for not being here earlier," he apologized. "But my flight was diverted to a smaller spaceport further south because of the weather. I spent the last hour in an overcrowded MagLev train."

"Don't apologize," Jaleela shushed him. "You're here. That's all that counts. Are you hungry?"

"You mean Kolot left something?" Kirney asked in mock amazement as she moved to Myn's side.

"No fair." The Ewok growled in indignation. "Kolot not that bad."

The humans laughed but Myn shook his head at his mother, his gaze apologetic. "No, I did eat something at the Spaceport. I was too hungry." He looked at Kirney, she looked back … and suddenly the world outside ceased to exist.

Selan and Jaleela smiled warmly at the couple and then exchanged a knowing grin. "Allright you two," Myn's mother mock chided them and pointed up the stairway. "As my husband said go get a room."

Myn flashed her a sheepish smile, took Kirney's hand and dragged her into the house and upstairs.

When they were gone Selan chuckled lightly, his gaze fastened on the closed door one story above. "You think they'll like what we've done to the room?"

His wife raised an eyebrow. "I somehow doubt they'll have the presence of mind to even notice."

He nodded and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "But something tells me they'll appreciate the new big bed we bought."

Jaleela burst out laughing and moved into the house, allowing him to close the front door behind them.

Kolot looked at Tonin. "Kolot will never understand humans."

The astromech hooted in agreement. That was something they had in common.

* * *

It was just after dawn next morning and the sun was squinting over the horizon. The thick layer of clouds which had brought snow last night was gone. It was replaced by a bright blue sky. The countryside was a picturesque study of peace, coated in a thick white layer of snow. Kirney stood watching, mesmerized by the sight of a snowed in Coronet City and hugged the robe to herself.

He's right, she mused, thinking of Selan's reverence as he'd described this picture just a day ago. It's something very special.

A smile drifted on her face as she heard the soft rustle of the covers and Myn's quiet footfalls behind her. He moved to stand behind her and put his hands around her waist.

"Good morning," he murmured and placed a kiss on her neck.

Kirney relaxed into his embrace and shuddered at the tingle of pleasure that raced up her spine. "Morning," she whispered back.

They stood in comfortable silence and just watched the world outside.

"It's amazing," Myn finally murmured into her ear. "I just love that sight."

"Like father, like son," Kirney said and chuckled.

"True," he admitted and briefly tightened his hold on her. "I still remember when our family went to celebrate Midwinter in one of the wintersport resorts in the mountains. It was the year when my father retired from the military. I had never seen anything so beautiful. It was … magical."

"Waxing poetry on me, flyboy?" she asked with a wry smile.

Myn shrugged. "Just stating the truth." He dropped another kiss on her neck and watched fascinated as she shuddered slightly. "Nice robe."

"You've got a similar one … over there," she muttered and jerked her head at the front of the room. "Your parents must have bought them."

"How thoughtful of them. I like it."

Kirney arched an eyebrow and twisted her neck to look at him. "The robe or the new décor?"

"Both." He chuckled softly. "I must admit I prefer the new furniture to my old. It has certain … uses."

Kirney felt her cheeks heat up as she remembered some of ways they'd used it last night. "Perv," she giggled and elbowed him lightly. "I never thought you could be like this. Have you been taking lessons from Face?"

Myn gave a shrug. "Nah, haven't seen him to take lessons. What can I say? You bring out the best in me."

"Or the worst." Letting her head drop back against his shoulder she asked, "How long can you stay?"

He tightened his hold on her again. "How do you feel about forever?"

Kirney stiffened. Surely he hadn't said what she thought he had. She twisted around in his embrace and stared at his face. "You quit?" she inquired, her voice rising disbelievingly. "Why?"

Myn smiled down at her. "Many reasons. First and foremost ..." He leaned his forehead against hers. "You."

Her stomach did somersaults at that and what had to be the galaxy's greatest swarm of flutterbugs rose for a jaunt through her innards. "You're sweet," she whispered and brushed her lips across his. "And the other reasons?"

He wiped the smile off his face and stared out of the window. "I was tired of war. I just felt my part was done and someone else could take over." He sighed. "With Thrawn on the loose and all that I didn't feel it, but as soon as I'd heard he was dead I felt a fatigue that no amount of sleep could cure. I was so sick of the military, of the bases here and there, of being tossed around by orders which often enough make no sense ..."

Kirney gazed at him shrewdly. "But there's more."

He briefly tightened his arms around her waist again. "You know me well, love. Yes, there is more." He looked down at his feet. "Thrawn's attacks hurt the Republic very badly, Kirney. We lost a huge number of good men and women. Rogue Squadron didn't, for which I am grateful, but all other squadrons we flew with were missing pilots left and right. I thought we'd get a break from fighting, from death. I hoped I could get away to see you, but then the Council cooked up this operation against Krennel. I was irritated when I got wind of it. It didn't make sense to me to go after him at that time. And when Wedge briefed us on it, and the reasons why the Hegemony was chosen, my irritation grew." He removed his hands from around her and pushed one through his messed-up hair. "It had politics written all over it. They chose Krennel's little realm because he was the weakest of the Imperial warlords. Make no mistake, Kirney – Krennel was a nasty piece of work and deserved all that he got and then some, but I couldn't help feeling put off by the whole affair. They sent us against him to get a message across to the more powerful warlords. The Council sent people to their deaths for their political games."

Kirney took his hands in their own and gave them a squeeze of support. "What did you do?"

The smile he gave her was weary. "What do you think? I kept my mouth shut and behaved like the good little soldier I was supposed to be. I followed my orders but in the back of my mind a voice was whispering 'What would you do if Corellia was targeted?'. I was beginning to wonder what I'd do if they would. I mean, the Diktat is a little tyrant, too. What stops the Inner Council from moving against him? All under the banner of democracy, freedom and racial equity," he drawled sarcastically. He sighed again. "I couldn't talk about this with anyone. They didn't think like that. I tried to bring it up when we were watching Krennel's little speech over the Holonet, but they nearly bit off my head. You know what that made me feel? Disloyal."

"So you decided to quit once this mess was over," she guessed.

He nodded. "Yeah. I mean we weren't attempting to liberate worlds from under the imperial yoke, not worlds that wanted to be liberated, that is. Liinade Three or Ciutric were no Toprawa. I felt the New Republic had set a dangerous precedent when it attacked the Ciutrian Hegemy under the smokescreen of bringing Krennel to justice. What will keep them from choosing targets at their leisure and use similarly weak reasons for doing so?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

"Exactly." He nodded again but then the weary expression was back on his face. "And then came Distna."

Kirney's face took on a pinched look as she tried to ignore the memories of the agony she'd felt at the news of Rogue Squadron's supposed death.

Myn saw it and took her in his arms again. "Shh. It's okay. I'm here."

Kirney let go of her self-control and let out the sobs she'd been holding back. Myn stroked her hair and whispered soothing words of nothing while she rode the tidal wave of remembered sorrow and pain.

Myn held her tight and waited for the sobs to abate. When they did he resumed his explanation. "It ate at me to know you must think me dead. I couldn't get a message to you, there was no way to do it and I did not want to risk betraying you to the Imps. So I concentrated on my job and on staying alive, because I wanted to see you again. But my misery was about to become even worse."

Kirney withdrew slightly but kept her own arms around him. Blinking her tears away she looked him in the face. "Why that?"

He took a deep breath. "You remember Gavin Darklighter and Asyr Sei'lar? The young man from Tattooine and the female Bothan?"

Narrowing her eyes in concentration she thought back to the short amount of time she'd spent around Rogue Squadron. "I think so. Aren't they together?"

Myn nodded. "They were. Asyr was killed at Distna."

"Oh."

"Gavin was devastated by her death. I don't think I've seen him smile since that day." He drew a deep breath and mentally steeled himself for the little thermal detonator he was about to drop on her. "And when they put us into quarantine aboard Lusankya ... He came to me."

"What?"

"He asked me how I had dealt with your death." Myn shook his head. "How was I supposed to answer that one? I mean I already felt like Bantha slobber with my doubts about the motives of the Republic, my feelings of disloyality and then he comes and yanks away the ground underneath my feet with a question like that. I knew I had to lie to him. I couldn't tell him the truth."

"And what did you do?"

"I tried to deflect his questions. I said our situations weren't comparable as the two of them had been together for years, had talked of marriage and adopting kids. But he wouldn't hear any of it, so I fed him a load of nonsense. I told him a tale about how it hurt at first and how I failed to see a future, how it became better with time and how I learned to live with the fact. And the worst thing about it was ... it seemed to help him!" Pain shadowed his pale blue eyes as he looked at her. "I had to lie to a squadmate, a friend, a man who had just lost the woman he loved. I wanted nothing more than get away so that I didn't have to look Gavin in the eyes again. Didn't work, though."

Kirney frowned at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"My single greatest fault," Myn quipped half-heartedly. "I can't say no. When I handed over my letter of resignation Wedge asked me to stay until he got the replacements he needed. With the deaths of Asyr, Khe-Jeen Sle and Lyrr Zatoq and then my resignation Rogue Squadron would be short a full flight. So I let him talk me into staying … Big mistake." He grinned ruefully. "Took him three months to find enough people to make good the losses. At the end I was close to strangling him with my bare hands. Good thing self-control is one of my strengths, eh?"

Kirney's tone was dry. "Yeah, it would have been most unfortunate to spend a few years in the brig for assaulting your commanding officer just before retiring."

He chuckled. "Wes was convinced I was having another of these bouts of insanity coming, because I was so moody. He and Hobbie tried to get me drunk on more than one occasion 'to help me relax' as they put it. In the end I had to enlist some of the Rogues to get them back to their quarters without Wedge or Tycho noticing. They were already curious why the two of them were complaining about headaches so often."

"And you didn't indulge?"

"Moderately." A wicked grin crept on his lips. "I figured someone had to stay sober enough to be the voice of reason. I mean we're talking about Wes Janson here."

"Which, in itself, is enough of an explanation," she drawled but softened it with a smile. "So you're really free now?"

"Not quite." He smiled at the look of confusion that crossed her features. "There's this woman who has my heart in custody. Gotta ask her."

"Oh, really?" She arched an eyebrow. "Do I know her?"

He squinted his eyes in mock concentration and reached out for the belt keeping her robe closed. "I think so. I'd say you resemble her quite a bit." He brought down his head and kissed the soft pulse in the hollow of her throat. "Although I must say you're a lot prettier."

"Oh," came the somewhat breathless reply. Where had the flyboy learned these tricks? "You're sure?"

"Absolutely." He finally managed to untie the knot and the silken garment dropped to the ground. "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Want me to stay here?" He kissed her forehead.

"Perhaps." Her lips curved into a sultry smile. "If you can come up with a good reason."

"Got several," he whispered before kissing her thoroughly. When they parted, breathless and flushed, he swept her off her feet and carried her back to the bed. "Let me provide a demonstration."

And he proceeded to do just that. Later, when she snuggled into him under the covers, Kirney gave a small content smile. Celebrating Midwinter with Myn's parents had turned out to be much more pleasant than she'd thought. If all holidays would provide such pleasant surprises maybe getting used to celebrating them again wouldn't be that difficult.

* * *

The End

* * *