~Five Months Later~
Kairi was enjoying her life at Orgy 13. There was all sorts of fun things to do, like sex, banging, and more sex! Plus, allll the sea-salt ice cream you could eat!
Because she was feeling left out by her two other identical triplets, Namine had also joined Xion and Kairi in Orgy 13 and was having quite the blast. (and stuff?)
Every day they banged and banged and stuff, but she felt weird. She kept getting fatter everyday. Was probably all the ice-cream. It was her secondary food source (Her other was a whiteish liquid). But whatever. It'd blow over eventually.
But it didn t. And after having a talk with Luxord, SHE FOUND OUT WHY.
"Lalalalala~" said Sora, riding his GOD-DAMN PONY. Which was being carried by Disney characters. Riku rode behind him on Rainbow Dash, wearing a Spanish outfit and holding a red rose between his pimp-jaws.
"HEY GAAAAAAIIIIIZ," said a sudden voice in the distance, and Sora and Riku brought their friendship ponies to a halt to face the newcomer. Sora gave a squee as he recognized his childhood friend, Kaireh! And daaaaaang she was FAT.
Sora wondered if she had finally gotten around to eating her parents alive like she had always said she would (cause, you know, the chemicals in this island's water and all.)
Having not forgotten how Kairi had parted from them, Riku kept his hand to his pimp-hat protectively.
Sora ran up and glomped Kairi. "KAIRI HAIIII, ME AND RIKU GOT MARRIIIEEEED~"
"AND I GOT PREGNANT~"
"... omg srsly?"
"Yep!" said Kairi rather cheerfully. "And Imma name teh baby Xemnas-Xaldin-Demyx-Xigbar-Lexaeus-Vexen-Zexion-Saix-Marluxia-Luxord Junior! And if it's a girl, Xemnas-Xaldin-Demyx-Xigbar-Lexaeus-Vexen-Zexion-Saix-Marluxia-Luxord Juniorette!"
"Ohhh I get it!" exclaimed Sora in an extremely homo-happy voice. "To show how much you care for all your new friends RIGHT?"
"Well it was more like a last solution since I don't know who the father is but YEAH THAT TOO!"
Kairi, Orgy 13, Sora and all his Disney slaves (as well as the friendship ponies) all then had a celebratory group hug. Riku then joined the group hug, his pimpness flowing through everyone and making the group hug all the more epic.
So epic in fact that everyone started glowing. "Um Riku..." said Kairi. "I think your cane is irradiated.." she said wide-eyed.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP WOMAN. MAH CANE IS AWESOME." Said Riku. "ONLY 12 PEOPLE HAVE GOTTEN CANCER AND DIED. BUT WE GOT CURE MAGIC, WHICH KILLS TUMORS. SO WE KOOL DAWG."
The epicness levels were rapidly gaining. "Riku, let's go [have sex]!" said Sora, shota-esque as normal.
"HOLD UP WAT?" exclaimed Kairi suddenly, and everyone in the group hug (except Riku with all his pimpness) backed away because they instinctively recognized the 'angry pregnant woman' tone. "YOU'RE COMIN' ALL UP IN OUR FACES HUGGIN' US AND SHIZ, AND YOU DON'T EVEN CARE THAT YOUR IRRADIATED CANE HANDS OUT TUMORS LIKE TIGER WOODS GIVES OUT AIDS? I'm PREGNANT, BY-ATCH. And I am NOT gonna have little Xemnas-Xaldin-Demyx-Xigbar-Lexaeus-Vexen-Zexion-Saix-Marluxia-Luxord Junior/Juniorette ARRIVE INTO THIS WORLD WITH A BUNCH OF TUMORS ON HIS FACE CAUSE UNCLE RIKU COULDN'T PUT DOWN HIS G**D*MN TOXIC CANE FOR ONE F***ING MOMENT-"
At this point everyone's brains automatically blocked out the angry pregnant woman speech, and Sora and Riku ran off to bang each other in their tree-house while Orgy 13's group went off to hold one of their daily orgies. The friendship ponies, and Sora's Disney-protagonist slaves, went off to play a game of go-fish.
Yeah.
Go fish.
Hint: It may or not have been Strip Go Fish.
HintHint: Kairi may or may not have given up on her rant and decided to spectate said strip game.
Anyway, as part of their family/friend/orgy reunion, the entire gang rented a GIANT HELICOPTER TO CRUISE ON FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR, cause cruising on ships is just so lame these days. Laaaame.
And their first stop? DESTINY ISLANDS' BAR.
And you know why?
Cause five freaking months later, Demyx, Luxord, and Xaldin were STILL playing poker.
At the very least they hadn't come back. And Luxord had all the god damn money. And Demyx had all the CDs. And you know how younger woman can be without their pop crap.
But when they went to the bar, it was gone. "WHAT THE -"
yelled Kairi in anguish, remembering her long-lost baseball player poster boyfriend.
"Look up." said Xigbar, rolling his EYE (HAH.). The bar was floating. On 6 floating spears. Whatever was happening in there, it had to be discovered...
Sora whipped out his fancy shmancy keyblade (to enable him to jump up there all epicly and gravity-defying like he always does), and everyone gasped and ooed and awwed in wonder, for his keyblade was now adorned with little tiny key chains fashioned after rainbows, unicorns, Bittersweet Candy Bowl, and Care Bears. It was epic.
So he leaped up there IN ALL HIS HOMO GLORY, while Riku whipped out his own keyblade, which emanated an epic aura that only a REAL pimp could take. And he levatated after his lover in EPIC PIMP GLORY.
What they found there amazed them to such an extent, nobody expected what they found...
=TO BE CONTINUED=