Chapter Four
(Frisk is our narrator!)

I looked over the quaint little town covered in Christmas lights and happy monsters about their day, and all I could think of was how desperately I wanted a bath. And a change of clothing. And a cup of tea. A cup of tea would be great right now. Sighing, I headed into a shop to my left. A very tall, bipedal, white rabbit woman stood behind the desk and watched me with interest. The spiders crawled out of my sweater for a moment, enjoying the warmth of the shop interior while I looked around for anything that would help me wash out these clothes.

"What can I help you with, honey?"

I looked up at the rabbit. "I need to wash these clothes. They're too wet and dirty for me to transport the spiders in." The spiders waved at her to emphasize my point.

The rabbit nodded. "You'll need a washing machine too and you won't find a laundromat in Snowdin. Come on back behind the counter." She lifted the leaf end of the counter top to let me through to the back of the shop, which turned out to be her home. I followed her into a cozy little bathroom decorated in large flowers. A washer-dryer stand up unit was pushed into the corner behind the door. "You get yourself clean and I'll get your clothing in order."

"Thank you."

"Of course. It's not every day we get a boss monster as powerful as you in Snowdin. Are you visiting from New Home?"

I put my hand on the sink so the spiders could wait while I washed. "I came from Old Home. I'm giving the spiders a lift to see their relatives."

"That's mighty nice of you."

After putting my backpack down, I pulled off the sweater. "How much do I owe you for the help?"

"For this, nothing. But I'll be much obliged if you buy from the shop."

I smiled, happy for money Asriel had given me last night. "I can do that." I cleaned up as quick as a bunny so as not to waste the rabbit's hot water. But oh man, did it feel good to be clean. I hadn't been this messy since...

Chara's voice wrapped around my inner ear. "Since?"

I really didn't want to think about it. I took the towel I was handed and wrapped myself up while I waited on the clothes. I didn't need to wait long. Magic had the clothes clean and dry fast. The spiders climbed back on me, nestling in around the collar of the sweater while I made good on purchases from the shop. The Cinnamon Buns looked super delicious. The tough glove got my attention. The tag labelled it as having been produced above ground.

"Where did you get this?"

The rabbit shrugged. "Honestly? I don't remember. I don't remember picking it up, so it might have just been left here."

I nodded. "Thank you for the help."

"You're welcome. My sister owns the inn next door if you need a place to stay the night."

"Thank you."

I went out the door and back into the cold, the spiders diving back into the depths of the sweater to nestle against right side. As inviting as the inn looked, it wasn't even close to lunch time let alone night. I could probably make it to another town before I was actually tired enough that I needed to sleep. I looked around the town and spotted a Christmas tree in the town square along with a several monsters decorating it. They paid me little mind.

"Is it just me, or do these people not know what a human actually looks like?"

C frowned. "I don't get it. The skeletons knew you were human. The guard dogs certainly seemed to think you were out of the ordinary at least, but... I don't get it. Then again, the skeletons are powerful in the same way that Asriel is. They're boss monsters. Maybe it's something only the more powerful monsters recognize?"

"But then why would the rabbit mistake me for one? Unless my level translates to power in some way?"

"Maybe." The hologram moved to look around the other side of my head. "That sign says 'Librarby.'"

"I'm sure they know it's wrong."

The teen looked at me. "Do you have any sense of humor?"

I frowned and tried not to think about the last time I really thought something was funny. It was a depressingly long time ago.

A small, yellow lizard child with no arms and a thick tail ran full force into me and hit the snow with a plop. "Oh man! I'm SO sorry!" He shook the snow off his head and hopped to his feet. "Oh hey! You're wearing a striped shirt like me! That means you're a kid, right? Cool." He ran off.

"Striped shirts equal child?"

C shrugged. "Mom and Dad dressed me in striped shirts until the day I died. So I guess it's a thing?"

I thought about that as I continued out of town. A deep and icy fog appeared ahead, but it wasn't anything I couldn't make my way through. Would be interesting if Pyramid Head were in there.

"What the HELL was that? Seriously?! I get this flash of something awful and it was something that I'm pretty sure almost made you laugh!"

"Calm down, C. It's just something from a horror video game that used fog to hide screen loading and ended up making the whole thing creepier than before."

"You like creepy video games?"

I shrugged. "Sometimes. Sci-fi is more my thing." I could make out something ahead of us and stopped to wait for the fog to lift. Papyrus waited for me in his rather dapper, pinstriped suit and scarf. He was incredibly tall. Taller than his brother and sweeter in appearance, despite them both looking very similar. He had a crack in his skull, starting from the right eye socket and going up and back around the skull. A second crack rested under to left eye socket, which only had a single white dot for an eye, heading toward the mouth. He had a hole in each of the palms of his hands, though this didn't seem to impact his mobility.

"HUMAN! ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME RATHER COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE... THE JOY OF FINDING SOMEONE SO INTERESTING. THE ADMIRATION FOR ANOTHER'S PUZZLE-SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE TO HAVE A LITTLE COMEUPPANCE ON ANYONE WHO CAN SO THOROUGHLY BEAT ME AT MY OWN GAME." He crossed his arms over his chest, but his smile only grew larger. "SO NOW COMES THE TIME TO CAPTURE YOU."

Capture, huh? He wasn't going to capture me any sooner than I was going to turn into an ocelot. Oh. He'd make it look good, but he wouldn't actually hold me prisoner. I gave him a smile. "You look very nice in that suit, Papyrus."

By the surprise in his expression, he hadn't expected the compliment. "FLIRTING? WELL, I AM A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS."

"I can knit, sew, cook, clean, and make croquembouche."

His eye sockets blinked at me. "YOU ARE LEGITIMATELY MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS. PERHAPS A DATE IS IN ORDER AFTER CAPTURING YOU."

A rush of bones sped toward me, but didn't even come close to touching me. So skeleton monsters used bones to attack. Did that count as a cliche?

C groaned. "Is this really what you think about in the middle of a fight?"

"No much of a fight so far," I muttered.

"WILL YOU NOT FIGHT? WELL THEN! LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY FABLED 'BLUE ATTACK!'"

C sighed. "Well if it's anything like Doggo's, we don't have much to worry about."

I remained still as multiple blue bones that were insubstantial passed through me. When the last one touched me, something changed. I reached to touch my chest, feeling a physical heaviness on my soul. A bone flew through the air and hit me the arm hard enough to make me step back. With the heaviness, I didn't have a chance to react.

That smile turned sly. "YOU'RE BLUE NOW. THAT'S MY ATTACK. NYEH HEH HEH!"

Oh. All right then. Let's go.

Multiple bones came at me while the skeleton appeared to be considering what to wear on our date. I dodged left, right, and moved center to dive between two bones making a barrier.

"CAPTURING YOU WILL GET ME INTO THE ROYAL GUARD NO DOUBT. SOMETHING I'VE LONG DESIRED."

Really? He wants to be in the royal guard? Then why is he lobbing all these 'softball' attacks at me? I jumped multiple bones as I tried to get closer to him.

"I WOULD BECOME VERY POPULAR, VERY QUICKLY, BUT WOULD ANYONE LIKE ME AS SINCERELY AS YOU?"

I dodged another round of bones.

"SOMEONE LIKE YOU IS ESPECIALLY RARE."

"Would that be because of my LOVE?" I asked, skirting around a set of bones coming at me from ground level.

A pale, blue gleam took his eye that hadn't been there before. "DATING MIGHT BE MADE HARD BY THAT."

Another barrage of bones came at me, and I managed to get around all of them only to get knocked by one from behind.

"You know, C," I grumbled, "If you're going to be stuck with me, you might want to start helping out."

He snorted. "You're doing fine."

"Jerk."

"YOU ARE DOING WELL. PERHAPS I SHOULD PREPARE MY SPECIAL ATTACK."

He was smiling too widely. I didn't doubt that he had one, but whatever was coming wasn't going to be his actual special attack. I dodged the next group of bones, and narrowly missed getting smacked in the face.

"OH YES! IT IS DEFINITELY TIME FOR MY SPECIAL ATTACK!" Papyrus lifted his arm to send another barrage, but nothing came. He turned and found a small, white dog chewing on one of his bones. "WHAT? YOU RASCAL! COME BACK WITH MY SPECIAL ATTACK!"

I snorted, covering my mouth with my hand. The dog looked up at Papyrus in surprise before slowly backing away, taking the bone with him, and my chest rumbled. Papyrus took off after him, and I lost it, laughing so hard, tears clouded my eyes. The skeleton's long legs were no match for the dog running rings around them. I knelt down, doubled over in laughter. The dog finally made off and Papyrus huffed, coming back over to me.

He sighed heavily. "WELL, I SUPPOSE THAT THIS IS RATHER RIDICULOUS." He offered me a hand and I wiped the tears away from my eyes. "PERHAPS WE SHOULD JUST SIMPLY MOVE ONTO THE DATE."

I took his boney hand and let him draw me up. From the trees on my left, I could see his brother watching with a relieved look on his face.

Papyrus offered me his arm. "COME, MY LADY."

I took his arm and we walked back to Snowdin.

"I SHALL TAKE YOU TO MY FAVORITE PLACE." He led me around the town for a bit and came to stop in front of a two story cabin, decorated in festive lights. "MY HOME, MY LADY." He held the door for me and I stepped inside a very simple living room. A plain, green couch sat across from a huge, flat screen TV, and a set of vintage guitars were displayed on the walls. Stairs on the left led up to two bedrooms.

I walked over to look at the vintage guitars, running my hand along a green one with a fascinating varnish that looked marbleized. "This is beautiful. Is it one of the flood memorial Gibsons?"

Papyrus regarded me thoughtfully. "THAT IS MY BROTHER'S COLLECTION. I CONFESS THAT I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT IT."

"Does he play?"

The skeleton nodded. "GUITAR AND PIANO. THOUGH YOU WILL BE HARD PRESSED TO GET HIM TO TICKLE THE IVORIES."

I looked in the small kitchen and found it impeccably clean for being in the home of two bachelors. "Do either of you eat?"

"OF COURSE. WHY?"

I shook my head and turned to him. "So what shall we do on our date?"

He sighed. "I CONFESS, SWEET LADY, THAT MY FEELINGS DO NOT MATCH THE INTENSITY OF YOUR OWN." He took my hand in his. "SO I HOPE YOU WILL TAKE MY APOLOGIES INSTEAD."

I patted him gently on the arm. "Oh Papyrus. You are so very sweet. Will I ever find any as great as you?"

"OF COURSE NOT! BUT I WILL HELP YOU SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST."

C's voice wrapped around my ear. "Sans is at the top of the stairs, flipping his brother off."

Is he now?

"AH. LET ME GIVE YOU MY PHONE NUMBER SO THAT YOU MAY CALL FOR ADVICE ON YOUR TRAVELS." When I pulled out my phone, he frowned deeply. "OH, THAT SIMPLY WILL NOT DO!"

Swiping the phone from my hand he went up the stairs in two easy strides to one of the rooms, and I quickly followed. In the room was a very standard bed and a very non-standard, work bench. After fiddling around in the drawers of the bench, he pulled out a phone similar to mine, and began disassembling it. He powered down my phone before carefully removing the cracked screen and replacing it with a new one.

"THERE! MUCH BETTER!" He turned the phone back on and handed it to me.

"Thank you."

He smiled softly. "OF COURSE."

I looked around the room. He had two tall book shelves, the bottom shelves of which were covered in a variety of books. The upper shelves were filled with carefully constructed models, some of which were clock work and made to move on their own. The 'Shinigami' from Gundam Wing rested next to a Supermarine Walrus. A complete model of the city Minas Tirith stood next to a tiny, working, Ferris wheel. He seemed pleased at my interest, though he said nothing while I looked over his collection.

"How long does it take you to build a model?"

He shrugged absently. "IT DEPENDS ON IF THE MODEL WAS FROM A KIT OR IF I NEEDED TO MANUFACTURE THE PARTS MYSELF."

"These are all things from the surface." I turned to him. "How did you get them?"

"AH. WELL, THE DUMP IS A GOOD PLACE TO LOOK FOR DISCARDED KITS."

"And the manufactured ones? How do you make the parts?"

"OH MY BROTHER GOT ME AN EASY BAKE FOUNDRY A FEW YEARS AGO AND IT IS A SUPREME DELIGHT."

I covered my face as I laughed. "How'd you get it off the Satellite of Love?"

"MY DEAR LADY! I DID NOT KNOW I WAS IN THE PRESENCE OF ANOTHER MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER FAN! PERHAPS I SHOULD RETHINK THE DATE..."

The spiders in my sweater crawled up to the collar, peering out for a moment before hiding away again.

I gently patted the sweater and sighed. "I need to be on my way. Thank you for fixing my phone."

He nodded once and stood, walking me to the door. "PLEASE BE CAREFUL. AS YOU LEAVE SNOWDIN, YOU WILL HEAD INTO WATERFALL, WHICH IS MUCH WARMER, DESPITE BEING DEEPER INTO THE CAVERN."

Once back out in the cold, I headed for the fog bank again and through it. On the other side of the tree line, the path gave way to a rockier surface. Blue and purple crystals sprouted from the ground here and there along the path. Even before I saw them, I could hear the rush of the waterfalls that gave the place it's name. Before I could get too far in, I found another sentry post, with snow still on it's roof somehow, and Sans' sitting in it. His feet were up on the counter, chair leaning back as he looked through a vintage, muscle car magazine.

He gave me a rather wry smile when he saw me. "What? Haven't you seen a guy with two jobs before? Fortunately, two jobs means twice as many legally-required breaks. I'm going to Grillby's. Wanna come?"

My stomach took that moment to rumble. Grillby's had been a bar I'd passed earlier in Snowdin, but hadn't explored. Here's to hoping they had some decent food. "Yeah."

He put his feet down and stood, stretching a little. He came out of the sentry post. "I know a short cut." He put an arm around my waist, and before I could move away from him, teleported the both of us to the inside of an overly warm bar and grill. So that's how he and his brother had been getting around. Could other monsters do that as well?

C's voice wrapped around my ear. "I don't know. I don't remember other monsters doing that. My parents certainly couldn't."

"Hey, guys."

Everyone from the guard dogs, all of whom were in the bar, to the locals had the place packed.

"Hello, Sans!"

"Yo, Sans!"

"Greetings, Sans."

"Hiya, Sansy."

"Hello, Puppy!" The female guard dog reached out and petted my head.

The skeleton smirked. "'Puppy,' huh?"

I looked up at him. "What of it, 'Bones?'"

"Bones?"

I stared him down, daring him to challenge it. He only shrugged and did so with an ease that said he didn't mind the name.

"Here, get comfy."

I hopped up on a bar stool, only to have a whoopee cushion deflate beneath me. I sighed, hanging my head a little.

"Whoops! Watch where you sit down. Sometimes weirdos put whoopee cushions on the seats."

I picked up the deflated cushion and casually tossed it at him. By which, I mean I smacked him right in his boney face.

He chuckled and shoved the cushion in a pocket. "Whaddya want? Burger or Fries?"

Honestly, after Papyrus, I could do with both, but I settled on the protein. "Burger, please."

The brow of his skull lifted at the please and it was the weirdest motion I'd ever seen. Like he had an eyebrow there and the bone had lifted instead. It made sense, but, how was a skull so... elastic? Was it because he was a monster? His face was rounder than his brother's despite the matching cracks. And was it just me or was the way he wore his jeans low on his ilium just a little obscene?

He ordered burgers for both of us and as the bartender made of flames left for the kitchen, his smile fell. "Why didn't you hurt my brother?"

I looked at the man who'd just a moment ago popped a whoopee cushion under me. The ease that surrounded him like a cloud was gone, replaced by a deep worry. I shook my head. "Why would I ever hurt such a cinnamon roll? He never had any intention of harming me, despite what he said."

"He had a cage set up for you in the garage."

"And I'm pretty sure it would have taken no skill what so ever for me to have gotten out of it."

He nodded as the food came out. "Want some hot sauce?"

I shook my head and bit into the burger. Oh yeah. That was good burg.

"Good. More for me." He lifted the bottle of hot sauce and drank it.

I shrugged and kept eating.

Bones elbowed me. "Hey. I wanted to ask you something. Do you know what you have to do to leave the Underground?"

I paused between bites and looked at him. "Me personally? Yes."

"So what will you do?"

I stared at the burger in my hands. "I don't know. But until I figure that out, I do have a job to do. How long have you been a sentry here in Snowdin?"

He shrugged. "Uh... A hundred years or so, I guess. I lost track of time a while ago."

"I've got a list of names. Can you tell me if any of them sound familiar?"

"Sure."

"Cecilia Indigo, Sabri Vinil, Euridice Boyd, Leo Cam, Heidi Jaydon, and Hector Iola."

He put the hot sauce bottle down, but his smile wasn't reaching his eye sockets. "They're the fallen. You looking for them? Because you won't find them." He frowned deeply. "Well, that's not true. You can find their souls in New Home. The king has them hidden away somewhere." He turned to look at me. "You know? You could just stay here. You'd just be another boss monster."

I stared at the food in my hands and thought about mom. "No. I have to get back."

"Is someone waiting for you?"

"Yeah." I finished my burger. "How much for the food?"

He waved it off. "Hey, Grillby? Put it on my tab."

The flame monster nodded, before pushing the glasses on his face a bit further up.

"Speaking of names, ya got one, Babe?"

"Frisk."

Bones stood up, stretching a little. "Welp. That was a long break. I can't believe I let you pull me away from work for that long. I guess I'll be seeing you around, Frisk." He disappeared.

The bartender, Grillby?, wrapped up Bones' uneaten burger to go and handed it to me. "The names you mentioned? I knew Heidi. She worked here for a little while. She was a good cook."

"Why did she leave?"

"She said she needed to go home."

I frowned. How did he remember something from so long ago? Or maybe, monsters saw time differently from being so long lived? "Thank you."

"Good luck."

I headed back out into the snow.