I laid there for a minute. I knew I had to move soon, Carlos might be getting worried. When I was finally able to pull myself together, I stood up. I was a little shaky and the cuts on my legs burned, but I was able to grab Sydney's leash and start walking back. When I finally made it to the house, I walked around to my window. I told Sydney to stay put, then I dropped her leash and climbed through the window. I cleaned out my cuts and changed into a long-sleeved shirt and jeans, so you couldn't see the cuts. I climbed back out of the window to find Sydney where I had left her, so I grabbed her leash and walked back to the front of the house. I walked through the front door. I unclasped Sydney's leash from her collar. Then I walked past the living room. The boys were watching a movie, but Carlos looked up at me. I waved at him, and he smiled at me, then turned his attention back to the movie
I got ready for bed, then climbed under the warm, inviting blankets. As I let what happened sink in, tears brimmed at the edges of my eyes, then they spilled out. They streamed all the way down my face, and I did nothing to stop them. I just let them flow out until I had no more tears left in me
I promised myself, right then, that I wouldn't ever let a single tear fall out, ever again. I promised myself that I would fake more smiles, so I wouldn't bring anyone down. Most importantly, I promised myself that any hope of me ever talking again, had now been lost. No one could hear my voice, this was my only way of survival now
No one would know