This mystery man had us fetching things again and again for three days before I'd had enough. My anger got the best of me when I realized that my acorn necklace was gone. Again.
I was holding the phone, waiting for the call, when a loud crack sounded, and Renji and I both looked at it. I'd cracked the phone right now the middle. I let go, and the two halves fell apart. We looked at each other, and I groaned.
"I'm so done with this."
"Can he still contact you?" I set down my Soul Pager on the makeshift desk we'd set up in my room.
"I'm going to shower and calm down before I break something else." I muttered, grabbing my towel and walking into the bathroom. The shower did calm me down, until I came outside, and found my phone broken. I looked at Renji, who had his eyes closed.
"Renji...? What happened?"
"It's nothing." Obviously, it was, considering he was holding the broken fragments of the phone. I walked around behind him and wrapped my arms around his neck.
"Placeholder." I responded. He scowled. He was slowly learning the ways of my therapy because of me.
"How about this; I don't feel like talking about it." I sighed.
"Whenever you do feel like it, I'm listening." he turned his head the right, the shoulder I was hovering over, and pressed a kiss to my lips. I closed my eyes and let my hands fall apart from eachother. That is, until the stool slipped from under him. His weight falling backward pulled me under him, and he came crashing down on my stomach. The air whooshed out of my lungs, and I just looked at the ceiling until I could breathe again, then started laughing.
"We just can't catch a break." he rolled over so I was on top, then kissed me again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and grinned against his lips.
"What's so funny?" he questioned, pulling away.
"Nothing. Just thinking about how much I missed laying on the floor with you."
"Oh, so you can miss me, but I can't miss you?"
"Yeah. Essentially."
"I think not." he responded. I pursed my lips.
"How so?"
"I could've been missing you subconsciously." this caused another bout of laughter, and he just held me against him while I tried to calm down.
"You are so weird."
"We already know that." I responded, grinning madly. Then his phone went, off, and he answered it.
"Hello?" there was still somewhat of a bounce in his voice, and I watched his expression turn dark as he listened to the caller.
"Who the hell do you think you are?" he questioned quietly, angrily. I just watched his face carefully, waiting for his emotions to spike. I remembered Goka being able to take my pain away when Tori healed me. Could I do the same for Renji since I could feel his feelings?
And his emotions did spike. And then I tried to pull a lot of it into me. I gasped at the sudden anger and hatred in my system, and rolled off Renji, taking deep breaths.
"What's wrong?"
"I'll explain after. Finish the phone call." I responded through clenched teeth. This was a lot of what he was feeling. Which means I never felt the full amount of what he did. Thus the deadly part of Yuudai's zanpakuto. Obviously, the fear off Renji I received way back when wasn't the full amount. An arm snaked around my waist, and the anger started ebbing. I rolled farther away and glared at him.
"No. Just, finish the phone call." he just watched me, concerned, as he continued arguing with the person on the other line. Eventually, he just hung up, and looked at me.
"What's wrong?"
"Remember, a long, long time ago when I told you I could feel your emotions?" he just looked at me.
"Well apparently I can also pull some into me." he narrowed his eyes.
"As in you're depriving me of emotions, or-"
"When your anger died out." I supplied. It still wasn't ebbing very fast.
"You are going to die of exhaustion some day, I swear."
"Seems to be the path I'm going down." I muttered. He pulled me back into him, and I fought for about three seconds, then sighed and stopped. The anger was ebbing now. He was taking it back, so he'd probably get super angry in a minute. So I did the one thing that would've distracted me. I kissed him, hard as I could, and he didn't even try to fight me.
ö
I have no idea how I managed to fall asleep in the position we were in. I really don't. I don't even think I can describe it, it was so uncomfortable. It makes me hurt just thinking about it.
Anyway!
I wasn't sure what woke me up. Then I heard it again. A soft, constant tapping. I untangled myself from Renji, and pushed myself to my feet. I opened the door, and looked at Rukia, bewildered. She had her ear to my door, tapping a steady beat on the wall with her finger.
"Rukia." I whispered. She looked up guiltily, then disappeared. I rolled my eyes, and moved to shut the door, when a hand grabbing the frame. I looked at Rangiku.
"You woke up late. Something happen last night? Atsuko is looking for you." I laughed quietly.
"Oh. My. God. Is that a hickey?" she jabbed me in the neck, and I squeaked.
"Ow!"
"It is! Were you and-" I slammed the door in her face, and barricaded it, then went straight for my bathroom, inspecting the hickey, and wondering how I hadn't noticed it before. It was like, the size of a dollar coin from the US, but in the shape of Florida. I grabbed my coverup.
"What are you doing?" I glanced at Renji.
"Atsuko wants me, and if she sees this-" I pointed to the hickey, "she'll get either A, pissed, or B, curious."
"Atsuko. Why does that name ring a bell?"
"She's the Seireitei Therapist." I responded, almost managing to completely hide the hickey. If she asked, it was a bruise from Rangiku elbowing me in the neck.
"Why are you being summoned by her...?"
"It's a long, long story. And quite like my past in Los Noches, something I don't exactly want to think back upon." I walked back out into the main room, grabbed a clean uniform, and held it up.
"I'm changing. You know your options." he slid into the bathroom, and I changed fast.
"Leaving, out the window." I called. Just before I got my hands on the window frame, his hands wrapped around my waist and pulled me back.
"You coming back?"
"No, I'm going to go off myself, having just gotten you back." I could almost hear him roll his eyes at my heavy sarcasm. He let go, and I shoved the window open, then dropped out, and shunpoed away. Atsuko, on the other hand, was not in such a good mood.
"You're late." she chastised. I cringed.
"I can explain."
"You always can. That's why I'm here." I grinned as I slid into the squishy chair.
"So did you even hear the news?"
"What news?" she questioned, obviously not having heard, otherwise she'd know.
"Renji is alive." her jaw dropped, and she stared at me, incredulous. I waited for her to piece it together, but obviously she didn't.
"And I was with him all night..." I trailed off, and she turned red.
"Never mind then about your lateness. And that hickey on your neck." I narrowed my eyes, and covered it with my hand. She paused, looking thoughtful for a moment.
"I almost think it's pathetic, but you have this air of happiness around you. Well, maybe not happiness, but you're most definitely not depressed anymore. I'm not even sure we need to keep up this meetings then, but..."
"But what?" the thought of being done with these meetings had me giddy, and that 'but' had totally ruined it.
"But if he pulls away again, for fear of hurting you, like that three week period, or if you pull away, you may spiral again. I think I can decrease the meetings to every other week, but you have to try to be on time." I grinned.
"I'll try, but you are aware I'm leaving in two or three days, right?" She nodded.
"Kay. Are we done here?" now her eyes narrowed.
"Listen, Katsu. I know you're glad to have him back, even giddy, but you cannot let yourself get too dependent. When it comes down to it, you have to think about what's best for him, mind and body." she put extra emphasis on the last three words, due to the fact that I'd complained about how people only cared about my body.
"In the midst of battle, protecting yourself is what's best for him, body and mind." I was about to argue that protecting him was, but she silenced me with a look. She could report me as mentally unstable and take me off this mission.
"He's inclined to protect you, as you are him. If you protect yourself well enough, he can focus on his own battle instead of taking hits for you, and worrying about you." she had a point, sadly. I nodded.
"And, if you get too dependent on him, for the other half of my demand, and he pulls away, I will pull you out of all work until you get off him. You will live and breathe psychology." I scowled.
"That's what I thought. You are a separate entity. You do not need him to survive. Maybe happily, you may need him, but you lived for three months without him, if he leaves you again, you have to be able to cope. Put on that strong face, but I am here for you." I nodded. It was probably inevitable that Renji would try and protect me by leaving me again, so there was no doubt I'd end up back here for more frequent meetings. I just looked at her. She sighed, and waved me off. I got up, and shot out the door, only to be stopped by Rangiku before I got into my room.
"Oh, you covered it up? So what happened last night?" I scowled at her, and shot through the window of my room, rolling and slamming it shut and locking it, then dropping back down onto the floor and sighing, eyes closed.
"Rough fifteen minutes?"
"Very much so." I muttered. His phone rang, and he answered.
"How did you..." he trailed off, obviously angry again. I started peeling away layers of anger from him. If there was anything I learned, is that too much anger made some people explode. And that's what I was trying to avoid. A few seconds of quiet chatter on the other line.
"What the hell do you mean?" he froze, then hung up. I looked at him skeptically.
"I've got to go. See you later?"
"Yeah." and he was gone. I just stared at the now unbarricaded door, wondering what the hell was missing this time. There wasn't much else valuable to take.
ö
I didn't see Renji later that day. Or, rather, more specifically, until we left. I arrived with Yumichika, talking about the fashions I remembered in the World of the Living, when I spotted him. And boy, did he still look angry. I didn't know someone could hold so much anger. I started stripping it away in layers again, still chatting idly, wondering if he should be seeing Atsuko, not me.
"So what is our idle mission?" he questioned. My thoughts screeched to a halt. What was our mission? Well, the faux one.
"Uhm... uhhhhh... ummm... I dunno..." he laughed.
"You weren't informed?"
"I might've been. I just don't remember..." I was channeling the anger away as I received it, so I wasn't completely put together. I thought back to when Yamamoto had told us who was going and blah blah blah.
"He never told us. I guess that means he wants us to figure it out ourselves. So then, what's plausible...?"
"How about we're going to investigate the Hollow?"
"Good point." I grinned at Yumichika, then someone tapped me, and I spun around. The squad twelve person held out a pair of glasses to me. Like, normal glasses. I put them on, and glanced around. Everything was exactly the same.
"Okayy..."
"They have the camera. Don't break them."
"Keep that in mind." and he was gone. I rolled my eyes, then turned back to Yumichika.
"Do I look sexy?"
"In a nerdy way." he complied. I laughed, then arms wrapped around my waist.
"Why do you have glasses on?" Renji whispered. I grinned.
"'cause they make me look smarticle. What about it?"
"I was going to say that you look like a different person." I grinned.
"That's awesome." I knew he'd be rolling his eyes.
Ö
We were actually investigating the Hollow, tracking them and where they first popped up, and charting them. Well, Renji and I were. Yumichika and Ikkaku just got to kill them.
It was somewhere on the eighth day there, when I actually got to fight, and not necessarily when I wanted to.
A Hollow appeared right in front of me as I wandered into the park where I used to do cheer. It took the form, of seven year old me. I just stared at it, completely amazed.
"Am I going crazy?" I pondered quietly. The girl giggled, and swung, then laughed and jumped off, and it was obvious her leg was broken from here. She started screaming, and screaming, and screaming. I stood there, rooted to the spot. This was the exact same time, and place I'd met my cheer coach. With a bone sticking out of her, my, leg, my coach had come to the rescue.
I waited five minutes, then Yumichika approached from behind.
"Why are you just standing here?" he demanded. In response, I ran toward toward the young me, and slid to my knees beside her.
"Please calm down. I'll get you to the hospital in a minute. Please, please, please." I whispered desperately. She looked at me, with tear streaked chubby cheeks and red eyes, hair in bouncy blonde curls.
"You think that'll help?" the voice was not mine. It was a grown man's voice, one I also recognized. I froze again, hands midway stretched to the little me.
"You're just mocking her. Get the hell out of my site, you filthy, spoiled brat!" I recoiled, and was on my feet within second. Yumichika's hands were on my shoulders.
"What the hell is this?" he hissed. I glanced back at him slowly.
"These are my memories, but... but I don't understand..." my lower ribs quivered, and I shivered, pulling my arms in a cold breeze whipped through, and snow started falling. He just watched the little girl, who rose to her feet, and broke off the dangling foot. I gagged and took a step back, holding back the bile. The bone was splintered on the end, and blood was pouring from the gaping wound. She advanced, and my stomach churned. Yumichika pulled out his sword.
"You're one despicable, hideous Hollow. Using memories isn't very beautiful."
"But it's effective." the little girl replied, then screamed in pain. I put a hand over my mouth, just in case, and took a few more steps back. I wouldn't last much longer. Yumichika put a hand on my back, and forced me to stand up straight. I averted my eyes anywhere else.
"What do you want?" he questioned, voice hard. The little girl laughed, then screamed again. I cringed, again.
"Isn't it obvious?" her breathing was labored, and I held my breath, fighting against the instinct to run toward her and comfort her. Suddenly, she was gone.
"Too slow." she giggled, then pain shot through my gut. And then she was gone again. I stumbled backward, and fell onto my ass. It felt like someone had lit me on fire. But, instead, there was just a hole in my gut. Gritting my teeth, I pushed myself upward, winced, then gripped my sword, and threw it just ahead of a sounding laugh. A scream responded. The little girl was pinned to a tree now, my sword in her shoulder.
"You bitch!" she screamed. I scowled.
"That's not nice language for a cute little girl to have." I hissed. And then, suddenly, where there had been a little girl, there was a black hole. Literally. A giant, black ball floated, and gusts of wind ripped past me, pulling me in. I watched blood and snow mixed shoot in, and then arms wrapped around my waist, and my feet stopped sliding. I bit back a cry.
"What the hell did you do?" came a furious cry.
"I didn't do shit!" I shouted back. I was getting dizzy, and it was making it hard to stand straight.
Then my feet slipped out from under me.
I hit the ground hard, and a hand gripped my wrist hard. I glanced at Renji, then Yumichika, who was up a tree, literally, then back at the hole.
"Are you bleeding?" his voice was almost quiet, but still heard over the wind. I glanced back at Renji, trying to make my face expressionless. It wasn't working, obviously, from the look on his face.
"Yeah." I finally responded after a few seconds.
"How badly?" I rolled over in response, and I could feel concern and anger pulsing out of him.
"Calm down."
"Calm down?! It looks like a little kid stuck a fist through you!" I made a face, and his anger dropped away.
"Are you serious?"
"Very much so." he tried to pull me toward him, but his grip started slipping, and something rubbed against the injury. I squeaked, then shut my eyes tight, and gripped his wrist hard, and tried pulling myself toward him. As soon as I was close enough, his arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me against him. I wrapped my arms around his waist for grip, then shut my eyes again.
"Quit it, damn it!" and the tugging disappeared. The grip around my waist lessened, and I opened my eyes to watch Renji prop himself up.
"What the hell was it after? Blood?" he questioned. I looked at him, astonished.
"Did you not just hear me yelling at it?" he gave me a quizzical look. I rolled my eyes.
"I told it to stop. And no, probably not blood." and then he remembered the injury, as he sat all the way up and flipped me onto my back with ease. I scowled, and he didn't respond, inspecting my gut. Yumichika dropped down with a thud from the tree, and walked over calmly.
"She needs Urahara." he commented.
"Despite how well she looks and snaps," I grinned, "she's much worse than I care for her to be. She'll need Orihime." Renji commented, a dark tone to his words. I lightly bit the inside of my lip. He obviously could see past my facade. Truthfully, I just wanted to go to sleep, but I knew that feeling all too well. Yumichika had already called Orihime, who arrived with seconds to spare, on Ichigo's back. He dropped her, and she slid to the ground beside me. I looked pointedly at Renji while she started healing.
"You're not very nice." the corner of his lip twitched at my words, and I grinned.
"I saw that."
"There was nothing to see. And I'm not being nice, because you're dying. Again." I scowled at him.
"Obviously I'm not dying, because I still have the energy to be mad."
"You're not mad. You're acting." he replied, chucking my defense out the window. In response, I turned onto my side, facing away from him.
"Now that's childish."
"I'm very immature." I responded, forcing bitterness into my voice. All was silent for a few minutes while she finished healing me. As soon as the bubble was gone, I was back in Renji's arms.
"Are you okay?"
"As uninjured as I never am."
"That doesn't make sense."
"Think about it." he was silent for a moment.
"Oh." I laughed, then my stomach dropped. I pushed out of his grip and to my feet, reforming my sword.
"I know what it wants." Renji was on his feet instantly beside me.
"Oh?" Ichigo questioned, clearing just playing along that he understood.
"Me." when the black void opened this time, I was not prepared, and didn't really care. I slid quickly toward the black void, and just as my consciousness was swallowed up, I felt a hand grip my wrist.