Her mind was no less foggy when Christine woke the next morning, and she groaned as she ground the heels of her hands into her eyes. Judging by the fuzzy taste in her mouth and the empty bottle at her bedside, the previous night hadn't just been a dream. Veronica was in her life once again, if only for a day or two.
As she went about her day, Christine's thoughts lingered on Tommy's words. So much time had passed and so many things had changed… Christine wondered if it wouldn't be better to let Veronica go. They didn't know each other anymore, despite Christine having relived the memories of their relationship thousands of times. She couldn't deny the wistfulness inside herself, wanting and wondering if she'd be able to let go of the feelings that still lingered.
It would be painless for the brunette, since she didn't recognize Christine at all, and from what the singer could tell, Veronica was happy. Christine sighed and rubbed at her forehead, her fingers running over her scars. She knew how to deal with pain, so letting go of Veronica would be survivable.
The thoughts wouldn't leave her alone, and by the time the next show came around, Christine had decided she would just let Veronica go and let them both move on with their lives. She waited in the wings, knowing that she just had to put on a show once more, and then never have to see Veronica again. The thought was somehow soothing, and Christine found herself putting on a smile and stepping out onto the stage when she was announced.
The moment the lights went down and her eyes adjusted, Christine scanned the crowd. She spotted Six and Veronica easily, offered them a polite nod, and couldn't help a smile at the awed look on Veronica's face.
As she sang, Christine found that she couldn't keep her eyes off the brunette; even when she tried to look away, her gaze kept flicking back to meet Veronica's. Part of her considered it tragically ironic that she was singing hopeful love songs, but the rest of her ignored that and tried to give Veronica a show to remember.
When the last notes were fading, Christine felt a lump rise in her throat. She hadn't been able to ignore the brunette, and the building emotion in her chest told her she wasn't likely to forget Veronica any time soon.
The thought of Veronica not knowing who she was made Christine ache, but being able to see the happy, beautiful woman Veronica had become was worth it. Just knowing that Veronica was happy was enough for the singer.
Christine retreated offstage, paying little attention to the people that congratulated her on another great performance. She found a guard and told him to take more tickets to Veronica and Six, promising to pay him as soon as Tommy handed over her caps. The man nodded and headed out into the theater, and Christine grabbed a bottle of whiskey and went up to her suite. She sipped at the drink as she got ready for bed, hoping to drown out the emotions that were threatening to swallow her whole.
=====:=====
Christine's life fell into a routine over the next few weeks. She would rehearse with the band during the day and sing at night, always scanning the audience for Veronica. The brunette always showed up, sometimes with the courier, and sometimes alone. Seeing Veronica in the crowd was soothing to the singer, and Christine almost felt like they were becoming friends again.
The singer hadn't invited Veronica to her dressing room since that first night, terrified of what she might say. While smiling across an audience wasn't exactly the quality time a friendship required, Christine still thought that she could sense some closeness between them. The logical part of her brain knew she was projecting, but for the first time in years, Christine Royce decided to listen to her heart.
Whenever Christine went out into the wasteland, she went to the same place she'd met Veronica, always hoping to see the brunette again. The wasteland was still and empty, though, and Christine always returned to the Strip disappointed.
The brunette always unknowingly made it up to her, sitting in the theater wearing a bright yellow dress and a warm smile that made Christine weak in the knees.
Until the evening that Veronica didn't show up, that is. Christine got on stage and scanned the crowd as usual, singing a song or two while her eyes adjusted to the stage lights. A slight frown creased her brow and she checked the theater again, only to realize that Veronica wasn't there.
Christine's stomach dropped and she had to focus to remember what song she was singing. Images of Veronica's broken body out in the wastes flashed before her and Christine faltered, missing an entire line of the song.
The crowd murmured and Tommy hissed at her from the wings. The song finished and Tommy called a quick intermission, dragging Christine off stage.
"What the hell?" he barked, hauling her away from most of the crew. "What was that?!"
Christine couldn't quite get words to form and settled on shrugging.
Tommy scowled at her, grabbing a flask of whiskey from inside his jacket and offering it to her. "Get it under control," he told her. "These people are here for a show, not a stammering mess!"
"Sorry," she managed, taking a swig of the alcohol and coughing as it burned down her throat.
Tommy took the bottle back and tucked it away again, giving her another hard look. "Gimme one good song," he said. "But if I have to hand out refunds, it's coming out of your pay."
Christine nodded and took a deep breath, attempting to banish the thought of Veronica being hurt. "Sorry," she said again. "I'll do my best."
Tommy's eye softened and he patted her on the shoulder. "The show's all I got, baby," he murmured. "I know you got a killer voice in you, just let it out for another few songs."
Christine gave him another nod and straightened her vest. "Okay."
She walked back toward the stage and Tommy went to the microphone.
"And we're back, folks! Here once again is Miss Fortune!"
The crowd applauded politely, obviously uncertain after the poor performance she'd just given. Christine gave the audience an apologetic smile and took her place at the microphone. She closed her eyes before she could see Veronica's absence again, nodding slightly as the band counted and began to play.
Music filled her ears and Christine let the words and melodies flow out of her like water from a spring. Without being able to see the empty table Veronica usually sat at, it was easier to pretend that the brunette was there. Christine let the thought soothe her, and the music that filled the theater had the audience in awe.
The sound of the door opening was faint over the music, but Christine's eyes snapped open anyway. At the back of the room near the door, a new figure had slipped in, dressed in traveling clothes. Christine instantly recognized the woman, nearly dropping to her knees with relief.
Veronica offered her a sheepish smile and leaned against the wall so she wouldn't disturb anyone, enjoying the music.
The sight of the brunette made Christine feel like she could take on the entire Legion army and come out unscathed, and the singer beamed. She finished the song, then turned to the band and directed them to play one of the newest ones she'd written, hoping to impress Veronica with the new material.
Her eyes were on Veronica as she began to sing, and only after the first verse did she remember that she'd written the song about the brunette. Flowing lines about seconds chances and memories of stolen kisses echoed out across the theater. Christine saw Veronica dab at her eyes and was torn between wanting to comfort the scribe and being pleased that she'd written a touching song.
Christine hit a smooth low note to end the song, waved to the crowd, and slipped off into the wings. She could hear the crowd applauding and preparing to leave, and Christine ran to the nearest guard and told them to bring Veronica to her dressing room.
She retreated to her little room and started pacing, hoping that the brunette hadn't already escaped the theater. Her heart thudded in her chest, each beat a reminder of the time that was passing without Veronica arriving.
The second the light knock came at Christine's door, she darted over and twisted the knob. Veronica was standing in the hall looking flustered, but murmured a quiet thank you when Christine stepped aside to let her into the dressing room.
"Sorry I was late," Veronica said with an apologetic smile. "Six and I were out doing… stuff. But what I heard was awesome!"
Christine didn't see any obvious injuries and relaxed. "It's okay. I'm glad you could make it."
Veronica's smile grew, but she remained silent, rubbing at a stain in the carpet with her boot.
Christine had a million different things to say, but felt like she was mute all over again. Her emotions were swirling like a wild storm; knowing that Veronica was unharmed and alive was simultaneously relieving and exhilarating. Despite the brunette not recognizing her, Christine wanted to sweep her up in an embrace and never let her go.
"I've never heard that last song before," Veronica offered, giving Christine a bashful smile.
Before Christine could stop herself, fateful words fell out of her mouth. "It's about you."
Veronica blinked. A stunned expression took over her face and she gawked at Christine. "What?"
Christine's blood ran cold and her hands started shaking as she realized what she'd said. The singer swore under her breath, realizing that there was no going back. "I wrote that song about you," she repeated, curling her hands into fists to hide their trembling.
A tense silence grew between them. Christine stared down at the floor, overwhelmed with anxiety about Veronica's reaction.
"I, uh… I didn't know our walk to the Strip left such an impression on you," Veronica joked weakly.
"You've always… I liked being around you the first time I met you," Christine admitted, lifting her gaze to look at Veronica.
The brunette looked embarrassed and tugged at her traveling clothes uncomfortably. She frowned at the dust on her boots, then tried to smile. "Thanks, I guess." It was obvious that she was ashamed of her appearance, and Christine was tempted to tell her she was beautiful even if she was covered in dirt.
Christine reached out to touch Veronica's arm, then thought better of it and let her hand fall back to her side. "Veronica, I…"
The brunette watched her for a moment, waiting for a response that didn't come. Veronica bit her lip, hesitated, and then opened her mouth. "Why'd you write about me?"
Christine faltered. It would be so easy to lie, but the sight of the honey colored eyes erased that thought from her mind. "You really don't recognize me, do you?" Her tone sounded bitter in her own ears and Christine cringed.
Veronica didn't seem put off, only puzzled.
"I remember you," Christine admitted, blazing forward before she could change her mind. "From before… Before Helios."
Veronica paled, her confusion visibly deepening. Her brow furrowed as she studied the singer, but Christine didn't see any recognition in the scribe's brown eyes.
"Yeah, I guess that's what I get," Christine muttered, feeling defeated. This was a mistake, she decided. She shouldn't have let this conversation begin; it was only going to lead to pain, but it was too late now.
Veronica looked hurt at the dejection in the bald woman's voice. "Who are you?" she asked softly, her voice trembling.
Christine exhaled before turning a daring look on the brunette. "Do you really want to know?"
Uncertainty flashed in Veronica's eyes, but she nodded slowly.
The words were so easy in Christine's mind, but speaking them was another matter altogether. The singer tugged at the cuffs of her sleeves, well aware that she was fidgeting. "I didn't tell you my name out in the wasteland, remember?" The stall tactic made her cringe and the bald woman sighed. "I'm Christine."
Veronica made a strange noise, somewhere between a gasp and a muffled yelp, and Christine looked away so she wouldn't have to see the anger on Veronica's face.
The singer waited for harsh words or for Veronica to leave, but neither woman moved for a long moment. When she could stand it no longer, Christine risked a glance at Veronica. There was no anger in the brown eyes that were focused on her, and Christine wasn't quite sure what to think.
"My Christine?" Veronica asked weakly.
Christine nodded, already planning the best way to leave the Strip without Tommy being able to find her. She didn't want to stay if her presence was going to hurt Veronica, and she knew she'd sacrifice everything in a heartbeat if it meant keeping the brunette happy. "Sorry," she said after a moment. "I shouldn't have brought this up. Look, I… I can leave, if you want me to. Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it."
Veronica snorted. "How about answering some questions?"
It was the least she could do, and Christine knew she owed that to the brunette after the bomb she'd just dropped on her. "Okay." She was still contemplating the best way to get out of her job and leave, but Veronica's brow furrowed.
"And don't leave again," the brunette added, a pleading tone in her voice.
The words felt like a kick in the stomach and Christine nodded meekly. She looked away and waited for the inquisition to begin, preparing for a slew of angry, sharp questions.
Veronica remained silent, though, gazing at Christine through awed eyes. The wonder on Veronica's face made Christine uncomfortable, but finally the scribe spoke. "Since when do you sing?" There was a hint of teasing in the taller woman's tone.
Christine rubbed at the back of her neck. "For a few months now, I guess."
"Your voice is different."
The singer nodded, cringing when she realized how much there was to explain. When she looked up at Veronica again, Christine was surprised to see a complete absence of anger in the honey colored eyes she loved so much.
A faint smile was growing at the corner of Veronica's mouth and she cocked her head as she regarded the bald woman. "How many of the songs you sang were about me?" she asked after a moment, stumbling over the words nervously.
"All of the ones I wrote." Christine ducked her head, embarrassed. "Except the one about the lonely lakelurk."
Veronica hesitated before a weak snort escaped her.
Christine gave the brunette an alarmed look before realizing Veronica was just laughing. Relief washed over her and Christine surprised herself by chuckling in response.
The laughter was strange, yet contagious, and for a few moments both women could do nothing but laugh. When they finally composed themselves, the tension was gone from the room.
"I listened to you on the radio every chance I got," Veronica admitted, the tips of her ears darkening with a blush. "And I… I fell in love with your voice and the songs you were singing."
Christine didn't know what to say, but she didn't want to leave the scribe hanging. "Small world," she managed after a few moments, hating the words the second they left her mouth. She was sure Veronica would be offended and walk away from her, and Christine's heart thudded uncomfortably in her chest.
Veronica only nodded, grinning and gazing at the singer. "You look pretty good all dressed up."
That Veronica saw past the scars was touching, and Christine had to swallow hard before she trusted her voice. "So do you. You're… God, you're gorgeous, Vee."
The pair gazed at each other for a moment, both aware of the charge in the air. A light blush darkened Veronica's cheeks, and the brunette bit her lip subconsciously. Christine gazed up into Veronica's eyes, entranced by the woman before her.
After a moment, a sigh escaped Veronica's lips. "The hell with it," she muttered, stepping close and catching Christine's mouth in a kiss, her hands coming up to cradle Christine's cheeks.
The singer's mind went blank, lost in the warmth of Veronica's kiss. Veronica lingered there, her lips sweet against Christine's as she kissed her again. Everything else melted away, and Christine only remembered breathing was necessary when Veronica finally pulled away from her.
"Sorry," the brunette murmured breathlessly, her eyes bright and unapologetic. "I just… Yeah."
Christine was almost too dazed to remember how to speak, and it took her a few minutes to find words to say.
The brunette had taken her silence as distress and was rambling, apologizing more sincerely and offering to leave. Christine finally managed to compose herself enough to speak and caught Veronica's arm before the woman could walk away. "Don't apologize, not for that. It's just…" She looked up at Veronica, her heart swelling at the gentleness in the taller woman's eyes. "It's been a long time, and…" Her voice trailed off and Christine was at a complete loss for words. She really wanted to kiss Veronica again, but part of her knew that they needed to talk before that could happen.
A flicker of disappointment was obvious in Veronica's eyes for a second, replaced with understanding almost immediately. "Yeah. I know." She studied Christine for a moment, smiling nervously. "Can we… I don't know, do you want to get breakfast or something, so we can talk?"
Christine nodded instantly. "That sounds great."
Veronica beamed. "I can meet you down in the lobby at around nine, if you want?"
"I'll be there," Christine promised.
The women shared a smile, and Veronica awkwardly offered her hand to Christine. The handshake wasn't at all what Christine wanted, but she knew that it was enough for now.
"I should get back," Veronica said after a few moments. "Six is probably wondering where I went." She gave the door a reluctant glance, offering Christine a shrug. "I sort of disappeared on him to try and make it to the show," she explained sheepishly.
The singer grinned at the thought, nodding again. "Yeah."
"Yeah," Veronica echoed, gazing at Christine fondly.
Noise and laughter outside of the dressing room snapped both women out of their thoughts and they looked to the door together.
"I should go," Veronica said again, sounding firm. She stepped over to the door and paused with her hand on the handle, looking at Christine again. "See you in the morning?" When the singer nodded, a bright smile grew on Veronica's face. "Awesome. Good night," she murmured, ducking out of the room.
It took everything Christine had to restrain herself from chasing Veronica down the hall and kissing her again. The singer smiled to herself and changed, then went up to her room and began crafting a song about hope for the future.