Next installment!

Chapter Rating: T-M, due to Zack's potty mouth, and a little perversion from...others. XD

"SOLDIERS must be polite and courteous to the President and Vice President, no matter how shitty you might be feeling, or your own personal feelings about them." ~SOLDIER handbook

Music Track: Heart of Misery by The Rasmus

"And how are you m'boy?" the fat man asked, shaking Zack's hand vigorously.

Shitty, sir. I just got done with drills after eating some of that slop in the cafeteria that you think is fit for human consumption, I haven't showered yet, and Genesis gave me this creepy look in the hallway that promised future pain and humiliation for me, if the leather cuffs he was swinging on his finger were any indication. I'm a SOLDIER prodigy, which makes me super-cool, but isolates me from my classmates because they think they're not good enough to hang around me or that I'm too snobbish to get to know everyone better. I'm homesick, and haven't had good barbeque chicken since I left my mom's kitchen. I'm used to sharing a room with four other brothers, and I have more cousins than you have SOLDIER operatives. I hate the weather here, because it's always cold, and it can rain any day of the week instead of staying in one season like it's supposed to. I'm in deep trouble with Sergeant Adams because I embarrassed him AGAIN, I can't sleep in my own bed because my neighbor likes to stay up late with his boyfriend/girlfriend/whoever it is now, fucking their brains out as loudly as possible while shouting explicit details about what they are doing or what they look like. As a teenager, do you have any idea how awkward that is? I'd be the first to admit to having ANY interest when it comes to sex, with anyone, so long as they're breathing. However, listening to my disgusting neighbor go at it when I know I shouldn't be listening but can't help BUT hear it, really kills the mood, you know what I mean sir? Nah, you probably don't, do you sir? Nope, because you are Mr. ShinRa, President of ShinRa Electrical Company, monopolizer of Midgar and the Armed Forces, and personal body protectee of the Turks. You have everything sent to you on a silver platter, eager women included…and probably a few eager boys as well, if I'm to take that leer of yours to mean anything. I don't care if you are the President and my boss, you send your boys to escort me to your bedroom, I'll fucking rip them a new one…unless you send Reno. He'd like that too much. Might have to blow him up instead. I'm not giving you the pleasure of being the first person to bed me, thank you very much you tub of inconsiderate lard. I'm not even into guys…well, except for maybe the General, but who wouldn't tap that? Or be willing to be tapped by that? Seriously, the guy is too fucking pretty for his own good. Bet he'd be a tiger in bed…yeah, definitely a tiger, and no pushover. Man, Fair, you know it's stupid to think of the General like that…get your mind out of the gutter. Hell, with Tseng watching you this closely, he might be able to read what I just thought…shit! Can they do that? I know Reno just bullshits his way out of things, but good Turks are supposed to be really good at reading people…almost like mind-readers! SHIT!

"M'boy?" the President asked, frowning slightly at Zack's glazed look.

"Sir! Fine sir! Just would like some pie, sir!"

Further down the line of assembled new SOLDIER recruits, Sephiroth smacked his palm to his face with a groan, Genesis smirked, and the third man merely stared at the boy before turning to the silver General.

"Is he always like this?"

"Attention span of a gnat," Sephiroth groaned.

"But not stupid," Genesis noted as the President chuckled, patted the boy patronizingly on the head, and moved on. "He knows how to work his charm, and how to keep his less polite thoughts in his head…usually."

The dark-haired man nodded, still watching the now-silent boy. "Could you two help me keep an eye on him?"

Genesis blinked, and even Sephiroth cocked a surprised eyebrow. "Angeal…are you…?"

Angeal shook his head. "No. But there are rumors circulating that Lazard is thinking about trying out a new program for SOLDIER- a tutoring program. You pair up an experienced, upper-class SOLDIER with a lower ranked, less experienced one. He asked me to participate."

"And you were thinking about taking Fair on?" Sephiroth deadpanned. "Angeal, you would strangle him within the week."

"Perhaps," Angeal smiled. "But…he does show potential. I haven't decided yet, but that's why I'm asking you two to help me watch him. I want to see what he's made of before making my move."

"If I was in the program, I would snap him up like that," Genesis said, snapping his fingers for emphasis.

"Genesis, didn't you just get a restraining order from one of the cadets in the Army?"

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it," Genesis snapped. "…closet pervert."

"As if I had anything to hide," Sephiroth sniffed.

"Two words, Sephiroth. Liquid. Leather."

To his credit, the Silver General kept his cool with his friend. However, Zack would always remember that day as Hell Day; not only because he was homesick and tired, but because he started feeling like he was being watched, and it was driving him crazy.