Disclaimer: Really don't own anything.
AN: Well lets begin this little monologue with; I warned you all it would be a while before I was able to update. See I don't lie. Sadly work as usual got in the way along with life and family. Damn reality to hell.
Next I say thanks to those of you who reviewed. I'm stuck on the thought of should I be replying personally to each review or will a general thank you work? It's an odd question I know but I am stuck on the etiquette when it comes to this website. I would be happy to respond to each individual one though.
Next again, I hope you all like where this is going. There will be several flashbacks to each time Faith and Lauren met. I figure its a decent enough way for you to get to know Faith before getting to know Faith. The question (other question) I would like to pose is would it be easier if I put the flashback in italics or just leave it like it is?
Last but not least I ask you all to continue feeding my ego by reviewing. I know it's hard but I do appreciate it. I suppose it's the best encouragement considering there is no pay day at the end of finishing this story.
So thank you all for reading and thanks again to all who took the time to review. Here is another round for ya.
Entering the lab in the early morning Faith wasn't surprised to see Lauren sitting at her laptop. Walking up to the woman she laid her hand gently on the blondes shoulder. "You really need to go to bed Beatrice." She said simply.
"I know, I just needed to compare the results to my database." Lauren said despondently.
"And what are the results?" Faith asked curiously.
Turning around Lauren wrapped her arms around Faith's waist and buried her head into Faith's abdomen sobbing. Startled Faith wrapped her arms around Laurens body doing her best to offer comfort regardless of her confusion. Not bothering to ask again about the results Faith stood there waiting for Lauren to cry herself out. She knew the woman was exhausted and whatever she had learned was clearly distressing. Shifting Lauren's arms from her waist Faith kneeled down and picked Lauren up. Sniveling lightly Lauren wrapped her arms around Faith's neck, not bothering to object at being carried like an infant.
Leaving the lab Faith carried Lauren upstairs and into the woman's bedroom. Pulling back the covers Faith sat Lauren down and removed her lab coat and slippers. Helping Lauren lay down Faith shifted to the other side of the bed and slid in pulling Lauren's body close. Wrapping her body around Lauren's, Faith held her close humming softly while caressing the woman's abdomen.
Turning Lauren snuggled into Faith's body and closed her eyes. She was tired, emotionally distraught, and physically drained. Her whole world had gone up in flames as she compared her sample to all the separate DNA samples she had from the Light compound.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Faith whispered softly into Lauren's hair.
"I don't know what I am going to do." Lauren mumbled.
Uncertain of what to say since she didn't know the actual results of the test Faith just rubbed Lauren's back. "How can I keep this baby?" Lauren asked sounding so young, so lost.
"That is a choice only you can make Beatrice. I will accept your child regardless of its parentage. The child is a part of you so it is a part of this family." Faith said gently trying to keep her voice neutral on the topic.
"It's not hers." Lauren whispered sadly.
Faith immediately knew who Lauren was talking about; the child was not fathered by the succubus. Controlling her body Faith slowly released a sigh of relief. Her mind had been in turmoil over the paternity of the child. A hybrid human succubus could be dangerous or she assumed. She knew Incubus human hybrids tended to be fatal for the mothers. She hated the idea of encouraging Lauren to abort her child but she hated the idea of losing Lauren even more. As it was Faith wasn't sure the child would live to term considering Lauren's own genetic makeup. The child could survive if it was a mix of human and Fae but it would not survive otherwise.
"So who is the 'father'?" Faith asked gently trying not to further upset Lauren.
"It's His" Lauren said simply as if that explained everything.
It took Faith a moment to understand those two simple words and longer still to go through all the 'His' Lauren knew. There was only one that came to mind and that was the wolf. It was a blow. She now understood why Lauren was in such misery. The idea of carrying Dyson's child must have been just short of insupportable. Faith wasn't sure how it happened but she had a good idea considering how far along Lauren actually was.
"Sleep Beatrice, you are tired and talking about this now will do nothing but get you more upset. Rest we can talk about all of it when you get up." Faith said rubbing gentle circles on Lauren's back.
"Will you stay?" Lauren asked softly.
"Always." Faith said unable to hide the double meaning of her words. Humming softly to Lauren, Faith listened as her companion's breathing patterned changed. Faith's mind wander to all the things she still needed to talk about with Lauren. There were so many hard truths she had to reveal, most of which she didn't know how to reveal gently. She didn't want to scare Lauren away.
Thinking back to their second encounter Faith smiled. She didn't think Lauren would come back to her. She didn't think the woman would have the courage to contact a stranger she had met briefly in a strange bar, in a strange part of town. She was wrong on all counts. They had connected in a way Faith had not expected. She had been searching for Beatrice Tasker for nearly ten years and finding her among the Fae had been a obstacle she hadn't been prepared to get around. However, fate or luck had been on her side. She did not need to go through political channels to meet Lauren, she merely had to go to a seedy bar in the middle of the night. It was serendipitous with a bit of stalking.
She had been surprised by the request to meet at the same bar not even a week later. Lauren had been distraught and it didn't take Faith long to deduce the reason. They had met late that night...
Lauren sat at the bar wondering what had compelled her to call on a complete stranger for someone to talk to . The reason came to mind rather quickly; because she didn't have any friends. Lauren Lewis was all alone. She had no real friends and no family. She was a identity that had only existed for the past five and a half years. She was nothing more than a figment of the imagination and worse she was a slave. Slaves didn't have the privilege of friendship. Slaves were meant to serve and for the last five she had served dutifully. Yet the collar of slavery was beginning to wear her down. Since she had met Bo the collar had begun to itch and to chafe. Once upon a time it was more of a mantle, something she wore for the sake of knowledge and for love. Now her love was dead and her mantle was a sharp edged choker.
"I'm surprised you called." Faith said taking a seat and motioning for the bartender.
"I'm a little surprised that I did as well." Lauren confessed amazed at how easy it was to be honest with Faith.
"So what's on your mind?" Faith asked smiling at the bartender when he placed a drink in front of her.
Lauren wondered how often Faith frequented the bar if the bartender knew what to get her without being asked. Shaking that thought away she looked at Faith and marveled a little at how beautiful the woman actually was. Lauren was not the type to cheat but moments like this made her look at Faith in a less than platonic light. "I just needed someone to talk to."
"And you thought of me?" Faith asked curiously.
"Honestly there is no one else besides you that I could talk to."
"What about your succubus?" Faith asked before taking a sip.
"Since she is the one I'm having a problem with it isn't as easy to talk to her." Lauren said taking a sip of her own scotch.
"I'm missing a little too much of the back story to understand the tangent you are going on about." Faith said giving Lauren a dimpled smile.
"Well on the topic of you being the only one I could talk to I'm telling the truth. The only person I even spoke or considered a friend is dead. I don't have any other friends besides her. Bo isn't my friend per say. I love her very deeply but we hardly ever talk about anything beyond surface thoughts. I've known her for two years and I've never spoken to her about my family, or my past. I've never even spoke about my favorite color, food, book, or anything of the sort. Honestly I've always been more curious about her than she has been about me. I suppose that is also because the few questions she has asked about I've had to lie. Well I didn't have to lie, I chose to lie to protect myself." Lauren paused unsure of how much she wanted to reveal. Taking another sip to fortify her courage she continued. "I feel like a broken record. Last week I was complaining about sharing Bo and this week it's the same topic. I wonder sometimes if it will always be the same topic."
"I figured." Faith said pausing to think of what she wanted to say next. "I'm guessing you've implemented the practice of sharing her with others." Faith said knowing there was no point in asking.
"You make it sound so business like and I wish I could view it as such. I tried to view it scientifically and I would like to think I made a good show of it but it's been killing me. I had to listen to my girlfriend fuck another woman who looked so much like me." Lauren said surprised at her own use of vulgarity. "I walked in while they fucked and the image is permanently ingrained into my brain. I look at Bo and the only thing I can see is that other woman. The only thing I can think of is that I will never be enough. I can picture years of watching and listening and thinking of all the people she will fuck while I wait at home and it kills me." She said wiping away a stray tear. "But then she looks at me with such love and I break. I think of leaving of breaking things off now but I can't. I know she loves me and I love her so much. I have risked so much to be with her and the idea of leaving hurts more than the idea of staying." She paused again taking another sip enjoying the slow burn of scotch. "And then Kenzi tells me that Dyson has his love back and I think 'did she know that?' 'does she know that?' 'Did she sleep with him because he has his love back?' 'Is she going to leave me for him now?' I just feel so lost Faith." She says putting her head down to hide the tears that won't stop coming.
Staring at Lauren, Faith is at a loss for words. Reaching out she lays a reassuring hand on Lauren's back wishing she could make the situation better. She knows she can't. She knows the only way things will get better is when Lauren realizes that she doesn't have a real future with the succubus. "Lauren you know I won't give you advice on this topic. You already know what I think and I already know what you are going to do. You will give everything you have to this woman and she will break your heart. I hate watching you hurt like this." Faith said with complete honesty.
"Why? Why do you care about me? Why did you come here tonight? Why did you help me last time?" Lauren asked confused by the kindness being shown to her.
"I listened the first time because it was clear you needed someone to listen to you. I took you home because it was clear you needed someone to take care of you. I came tonight because it is clear you need someone in your life who is on your side. I know what the Fae are like. I know how they treat humans and it is disgusting." She said hoping she hadn't revealed too much.
Lauren stared at Faith feeling a touch of shock. It had been so long since someone cared for her and not for what she could do. She barely knew the woman in front of her but her gut, the thing she trusted the least, trusted the woman in front of her. She didn't know if that was a good thing but her gut had yet to lead her in the wrong direction where as her heart had twice with dire consequences. Nodding her head she apologized. "I'm sorry for how that came out."
"Don't be sorry, there is nothing for you to apologize for, you have every right to question my motives all things considered." Faith said hoping she didn't have to expound on the reasons.
Nodding her head Lauren stared at her drink. She didn't want it anymore. She didn't want to be sitting in this dingy bar anymore. Taking out her wallet she paid the bartender and stood up. Looking at Faith she considered what else to say. "Walk with me?" She asked hoping the brunette would agree.
"Of course." Faith said leaving a twenty on the table and standing up to follow.
They walked in silence towards the compound veering off towards a park at the last minute. Lauren had seen it on a variety of excursions outside of the compound but had never taken the time to visit. It was small and quaint with an air of relaxed maintenance.
"You know sometimes I wonder how all of this happened?" Lauren asked hypothetically. "One day I was walking along the street, the next I met a beautiful woman, and the next I was off to the Congo. It all happened so fast, or at least it feels like it happened so fast. I walked away from one life because I had screwed everything up and then I was in another life where everything was screwed up for me." Lauren said moving along the parks pathway with Faith walking silently by her. "They cursed her you know? I had won a grant to research a virus attacking a remote part of Africa. I thought it was the best way to stay under the radar. Instead it landed me among the Fae. I found a cure and they cursed my girlfriend. She had foolishly fallen in love with me and decided flying half way across the world was a good thing. I was too much in love with her to say she should stay home. We were too new into our relationship to even think clearly. So one night I walk into our hut and she's asleep, looking so soft, so angelic. The next day she doesn't wake up, or the next, or the next. I let her follow me into the depths of Africa and she ended up in a coma. Well that's what I thought it was. Without thinking of the consequences I pledged my life to the Fae, to the Ash in exchange for the resources necessary to heal my girlfriend. It took five years before she woke up, five years of servitude only to find out she wasn't sick but cursed. I would have spent my entire life searching for a cure and never finding it. They trapped me not once but twice." Lauren said walking almost blindly lost in the past. "Bo found the cursing nail, she found out a way to un-curse Nadia, and the only thing I did was stupidly pledge myself to the new Ash. I've been such a fool."
"Is that when you fell in love with Bo?" Faith asked breaking the silence that had enveloped them.
"No, I fell in love with her long before she found the cursing nail. I think I fell in love with her the first time I met her. She was so beautiful. I don't know if it was love per say really, maybe it would be better to call it lust. I fell in lust with her and before I knew it I had fallen in love. She was always so noble, so giving, and she never looked at me like they look at me." Lauren said smiling at the memory.
"So what happened?" Faith asked hoping the question was vague enough to let Lauren reveal whatever she wanted.
"I tried to keep her safe and ended up breaking her trust."
"How so?" Faith asked wondering at the randomness of the sentence.
"Bo is a very driven person and her parentage has been something of a quest for her since she found out she is Fae. She found a Fae who knew about her mother but the Fae in question was on death row. So that led her to another Fae, a very powerful Dark Mesmer. The Ash told me to keep Bo occupied, not only for the sake of the Fae, but also for Bo's sake." Lauren paused knowing she was leaving too much out for the conversation to make sense. "Anyways the short and long of it is that I was supposed to stop Bo from visiting the Mesmer. I had intended to talk her out of it, or drug her, instead I ended up sleeping with her. Suffice it to say letting my hormones guide me led to Bo being incredibly angry with me and unable to trust me. I hadn't meant to sleep with her and I certainly didn't want to lie to her. Overall it's the only thing we seem to do really; we lie to each other." Lauren said thinking on all the conversations she had, had with Bo. "Sometimes I wonder how I can be so desperately in love with someone I constantly lie to, even when most of those lies are omissions. I think that is why I forgive her so often. How can I not when I am lying more often than not?"
"You've made your life very complicated haven't you?" Faith asked shaking her head.
"Yes, strangely enough I have made it very complicated. Anyone who knows me in this life would think me rather simple. I suppose it's a good thing that no one in this life actually does know me." Lauren said sadly.
"Yet you seem to be letting me into this life." Faith said knowing exactly how many lives Lauren had actually lived.
"I am aren't I? I'm not sure why that is but it's nice to have someone to actually talk to. I don't know how I know, but I know that you aren't judging me. I feel like I can talk to you about anything and that is horrifying yet liberating."
"For someone stuck in a world of secrets I can only imagine how wonderful it is to tell the truth." Faith said putting her hand on Lauren's lower back and guiding her back towards the compound. "Now it's past late and I know you probably have to work tomorrow."
"Yes I do, though with Hale as Ash I've been mostly working on Bo." Lauren said amazed that she had revealed so much, most of which would be enough to execute her for treason. "Are you Fae?" She suddenly asked searching for a reason to her sudden openness.
"No and you don't have to worry about me tattling to the Fae about anything we talk about. You have my blood oath on that." Faith said more than willing to take out a knife and give said oath.
"No, I don't need it, I know that you won't tell them." She said letting the silence fall between them again. Walking towards the compound she felt a certain amount of weight lift off her shoulders. It was freeing being able to talk to someone. "Can I see you again? Somewhere that's not a dingy bar on the wrong side of town?" She asked with a smile.
"Whenever and wherever you like." Faith said simply. Walking Lauren to the Compound gates Faith said her goodbyes and watched Lauren walk away.
Sliding out of bed and out of her memories, Faith smiled down at Lauren who was sleeping soundly. She was grateful that she had been able to find Lauren. She was even more grateful that Lauren had chosen to follow her. It was the middle of the day and she still had plenty of work left to do. One of which was figuring out how to break the news of a possible miscarriage to Lauren. At this moment Faith wished she had spent more of her life studying science than the science of people. All she needed to do was compare the DNA of the baby to Dyson and Lauren and she would know if the child was viable. Instead she had to wonder and wait and hope the fetus lived to term.