Jily Chapter 4 – Feelings Fly

The clock chimed eleven, signaling the end of Lily and James' patrol. They hadn't spoken much during the walk of the corridors, but as they redirected their steps to the common room, James broke the silence.

"Lily, are you ok? You seem out of sorts today."

James wasn't usually a person to provide comfort, but Lily looked so lost and confused that he couldn't help himself. Upon hearing his question, Lily's face reddened again, though why, James could not imagine. It was a simple enough question, he thought…

"Yes, I'm fine, just a bit distracted. I heard you were made quidditch captain this year?"

Lily mentioned the first thing that came to her mind, anything to get the conversation off of her. James, suspicious at the abrupt subject change, replied,

"Yeah, I was. I'm pretty excited, actually. We should have a really good team, so Slytherin will have no chance at the cup."

Relieved that he was doing the talking, Lily relaxed. James continued to talk quidditch until they reached their separate dormitories. Wanting to avoid a scene like last nights, Lily said a hurried "Good night, Potter.", and fled up the stairs. Disappointed, James slowly retreated to his dorm where the rest of the marauders were waiting. Upon his entrance, Sirius, who had been playing a version of poker with Peter, jumped up and said,

"How'd it go, mate? Lily swooning all over you, yet?"

"Nope."

James went to his bed and started undressing. Sirius, who was unsatisfied with the brevity of his best friends answer, walked over and demanded to know more.

"There's nothing more to say. She's been acting odd today, won't tell me why ('Big surprise', Sirius muttered) she gets mad at me for the weirdest things, but is also being somewhat civilized."

Remus looked up from his bed, where he had been reading a book. He had an inkling what was going on, but didn't want to tell James. It would only get his hopes up, and Sirius would go to town with it and ruin everything. No, James and Lily were going to have to figure this thing out on their own. But it did sound like Lily could use some help, so Remus resolved to go and talk to her in the morning.

At the same time in the girl's dormitory, Lily was talking over the situation with Alice. Luckily, they had the room to themselves. In first year they had started out with 5, but in 3rd year a girl had transferred to Beauxbatons and just last year another girl had dropped out because she had gotten pregnant. The final occupant of the room, Marlene, was currently in the shower. She wasn't particularly close with Lily or Alice, and spent most of her time with her boyfriend, Matt. Meanwhile Lily was well on her way to having a panic attack.

"But I liked it! I really liked having his arm around me! Alice, what's wrong with me?" Lily lamented, flopping back on to her bed so she could stare at the ceiling. She heard a sigh escape her best friend, and sat up to look at her, her green eyes still full of worry.

"Lily, isn't it obvious? You like him. Don't tell me that you don't, it's 7 years too late for that. You've never had a boyfriend. You don't know what it's like to enjoy somebody being that close to you, and now you do and it's freaking you out, I get it. But it's also perfectly normal."

"But it's normal for normal people! Not for me and James! We're not… a normal… pair of people!" Lily cried, tears starting to sting her eyes.

"See! You won't even call yourself a couple! Just admit it, Lils, you finally have feelings for James Potter. No, don't contradict me. Just try admitting it to yourself, and see what you feel then."

Lily, overwhelmed and desperate for some sanity of any sort, closed her eyes and tried. She imagined that picture that had been in her head before. She and James were curled up by the crackling fire, snow swirling outside the window, and the warmth of his arms around her. As before, her initial reaction was that of questioning her own judgment, but she did as Alice asked, and tried to only feel. She smiled without thinking about it, realizing that it was a very nice picture.

"I told you." Alice said smugly, seeing the relaxed posture of her friend.

Lily opened her eyes, a little scared to finally admit that really and truly liked James Potter.

"But what do I do now? Wait for him to ask me out again, and say yes? Just like that?"

"No. I'd just try and get along with him first. Let him see that this might actually be something, so when he does as you out, it's not as a joke to rile you up. "

That 'something' was what scared Lily the most. In school, everything was laid out for you. You had books to study from, exams where only one answer was right, and if you studied enough you would do well. But this, this wasn't something that she could study. This was something very new and unknown to Lily. There were so many different ways it could go, and she'd never know if it was right.

"Ok." She almost squeaked. Alice came over and gave her best friend a hug. "Don't worry about it. Just let it happen, and you'll be fine."

Deciding to trust her best friend, who had a serious boyfriend of her own, Lily relaxed a bit.

Remus found Lily in the library the next morning. She was absorbed in a book, which was no surprise. As he approached her she looked up, and seeing who it was, smiled.

"Hey Remus. We haven't talked in a while. How are you?"

"I'm doing well, thank you for asking. How are you?"

Lily grimaced. "I'm ok."

Remus sat down next to her, and said,

"I came to talk to you about that, actually."

Lily looked up in shock.

"You mean you know? How could you know?" she hissed, looking around to make sure nobody was listening.

"While James may not be the most observant person, I'd like to think I am. It wasn't hard to put two and two together, Lily. James really is trying hard this year, and I can see you feel differently too."

"Yes, I do." It felt out of place to say this. Lily had spent so long denying that she had ever felt anything for James, and now that she did, it didn't seem to quite fit.

"Then let me give you some advice. Be yourself. It's quite obvious to the whole school that you've been acting weird the last couple of days, and it's getting to James. He's not quite sure of anything at the moment. So if you want a shot at this, I'd say loosen up. Get annoyed at him for the stupid little things he does. Tease him about his hair care product choices. Just keep doing what you usually do. Trust me, it will work."

Lily couldn't help but smile, albeit tentatively, at Remus.

"And you're sure about his? You really think he wants this to work?"

"I'm positive, Lily."

Suddenly she threw her arms around him in a hug.

"Thank you, Remus." She whispered.

Just then the bell rang for the start of morning classes, and both students jumped out. Driven by a mutual liking of school, they smiled and hurried to class.

Throughout the rest of the week, Lily tried to be normal around James. It was a challenge, but she did her best, and James seemed to relax too. During their patrols together they were able to talk, and James even made Lily laugh a few times. When they utilized the head office for homework, Lily helped James with his Herbology essay. However, he still managed to drive her crazy sometimes. On Friday, she was just coming out of the girl's bathroom when she spotted him at the other end of the hall, with his wand out and pointed at none other than Severus Snape. They were taunting each other, and an audience had gathered around to watch the exchange. Lily stalked over, furious. Even though she had ended her friendship with Snape two years ago, James was still out of line. As she drew closer, their words became clear.

"You and you're little gang, trying to save the world again, Potter. How pathetic. You can't stop what's coming next." Snape jeered.

James's face was angrier than Lily had ever seen it.

"You just wait, Snivellus. You think you know everything, you think he has all the answers. Well you're wrong!"

"What's going on here?" Lily said loudly, stepping between the drawn wands, glaring at each of them in turn, her gaze holding James' for a fraction longer.

James dropped his wand as soon as Lily was between him and Snape. He didn't want to risk her getting hurt, and knew that continuing would only make things worse.

"Nothing, Lily. Snape's just bragging about his latest appearance in Witch Weekly, in which he won the award for greasiest hair."

Snape also lowered his wand, and with a flourish put it away inside his robes. The movement revealed something to Lily which made her narrow her eyes suspiciously.

With a last smirk to his buddies, Snape walked away, and the crowd dispersed.

"What was that really about?" Lily muttered to James, coming close to him so nobody else would hear.

"It appears that that the so-called Voldemort is gathering followers from inside Hogwarts, and Snape and his gang have joined up."

Lily's eyes widened. "I thought I saw a dark mark on his left arm just now, but I didn't want to believe it. But what were you doing, anyway, picking a fight with him?" She was suddenly angry. "If Snape really is following Voldemort, you shouldn't be aggravating him! He'll know all sorts of dark magic now!"

James couldn't believe her. "Lily, open your eyes! He's been practicing dark magic for years now, this is nothing new. I know you used to be friends with him-"

"And there was a reason I stopped!" she cried, frustrated.

"But he's evil Lily! Why can't you see that?"

"I can! I just don't see why you have to go poking around in it. You'll just end up getting hurt!"

And, with tears in her eyes, she ran off. Incredulously, James tried to figure out what he had done wrong. She hadn't once mentioned that she was made at him because he was dueling in the corridors. No, she had said that he's just end up getting hurt… Was it possible that Lily cared for him like that? She had started crying when she had mentioned it. Did Lily Evans actually like him?