Prompt: "I'm low on cash but I really need some food from this vending machine, can I trouble you for a dollar?" AU

"My life sucks," Li Xiang muttered, kicking the vending machine.

His adopted sibling, Yong Soo, had been crying for at least five hours. Five. Freaking. Hours.

Their eldest brother, Yao, had snapped when Yong Soo had woken Yao up at 1:00 AM, demanding that Yao buy more kimchi. Yao had kicked him out of the house, yelling at him to go buy his own kimchi. Li Xiang himself had gotten expelled, too, when his prank fireworks went off right when Yao fell back asleep after Yong Soo's little stunt.

Of course, Li Xiang, however callous, was not going to leave his crying brother alone. However tall and muscular, Yong Soo still looked like an easy target.

His love for his brother was really getting tested. Listening to someone cry for five hours sucked.

After dragging a crying Yong Soo around for awhile, Li Xiang had come across an amazing thing: the vending machine. The vending machine held the only thing that could make Yong Soo stop crying: Doritos. Unfortunately, Li Xiang had about, oh, zero dollars on him.

Suddenly, Li Xiang saw someone. Usually, that would not be a cause for happiness, but that someone could have money.

The person looked like an angel. He had pale silvery hair, and a slim frame. He was dress neatly, and had pale skin. The best thing? His pocket had a bulge-

No, not that.

A wallet. The pocket could have a wallet.

"Like, help me!" Li Xiang cried, jumping towards the person.

Li Xiang fell to the floor and grabbed the person's leg.

Unsurprisingly, the person screamed and reached for his phone, no doubt to call the police.

"Please! I need a dollar!" Li Xiang begged, showing more emotion than he normally did, "My brother won't stop crying!"

He pointed towards Yong Soo. The person looked shocked, no doubt having originally expected Li Xiang to be referring to a baby.

"He, like, needs Doritos! If you have kimchi, that would be even better, but I doubt you do. Just give me a dollar! I'll, like, be your slave for eternity! I'll do anything you want- foot massages, house cleaning, your homework, eating Arthur's food-"

"Uh-"

"I'll, like, wear a Japanese maid costume, okay? I think my siblings have a couple of those. Just please, give me a dollar!"

"Shut up!" The person yelled, looking irritated, "I'll give you a dollar! Now get off me before I call the police!"

"Like, thank you!" Li Xiang gasped, jumping up, "I'll call for a maid costume right now-"

The person turned bright red, "No, you moron! I don't want you in a maid costume!"

Li Xiang, beginning to recover from his Yong Soo-induced trauma, winked at the person suggestively.

"Are you sure? Because I, like, have my older brother's figure, and he would be a hot girl if he were more endowed in some places and less endowed in others-"

"Gah!" The person hissed, reddening even further, "I just-"

"My phone number, then?"

Grabbing the person's arm, he hurriedly scribbled his phone number using his lucky panda pen.

The person snatched his hand away, "I don't want your phone number! And why do you have a panda pen?"

Li Xiang smirked, "It's, like, my lucky charm. I always keep it with me- for luck and autographs. And it really must be lucky, since I met you. Is your name Adonis because-"

"My name's Emil!"

"Well, my English name is Leon. My Chinese name is Li Xiang, but listening to Westerners try to pronounce Chinese is the painfullest thing ever."

Emil sighed, "Okay, great. Look, let's just go buy your sibling Doritos silently, okay?"

Li Xiang faked a dramatic cry, pretending to fall backwards.

"But how could I live without your angelic voice? Your voice is like-"

Emil grabbed his hand and slammed a dollar on it.

"There!" He snapped, "Your dollar!"

"W-wait!" Li Xiang yelped, hurriedly straightening himself up.

Sadly, Emil had already run pretty far away. And Li Xiang was getting hungry…

Dejectedly, he settled for yelling call me! at Emil's retreat in figure.

1/6/2017

My first HongIce fic! Y'know, this story/collection-of-stupid-drabbles is going to house a lot of historic moments!