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Part 4 - "I Don't Love You"
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It wasn't too long after that moment in the tea house that Konan seriously began to wonder about Pein's strange mood shifts. One moment he would be contently watching the rain, the next he would be furiously gripping his kunai in distress. To some, this would have seemed like a very small mood change, but to Konan this was disturbingly large. Normally he would brood for at least an hour before slipping into irritation, and finally into anger. He was slow to change. But now, he would slip into anger or back into neutral in a mere second, and he was getting difficult to predict. He had shown compassion, amusement, disgust. Did he have the capacity to go deeper than that? Could he ever love? Wait, why was she thinking that? Since when did she care about that?
Then, she came to the miserable truth. She did have the capacity to love, and in some strange way, she loved him. His insistence on lacking emotions and going on without looking back had never completely absorbed her. Her feminine nature alone made her more receptive to anyone else's feelings. By chance, it seemed, she had picked up that elusive emotion called love. What was it, though? Why did it make her feel like she was having a heart attack and a stroke at the same time? That pain in her chest, the absent numbness of her body as her mind wandered freely in this lazily drifting thought...
"Konan?" Pein looked over at her when she stopped walking. "Konan, are you... alright?"
She realized that she had stopped moving, her body at a loss when her mind stopped sending signals in an attempt to fathom her thoughts. Her mouth suddenly remembered how to speak. "N-Nothing, I'm fine." She concentrated on walking again, following him blindly.
He watched after her for a moment curiously. What was going on? Well, whatever it was, it seemed to be alright now. Then again... he knew her well enough to not dismiss this right away. She was thinking about something. He was well aware that his moods lately had been a little different, and he wondered if he might have snapped at her accidentally at some point. Why would he care about that, though? In the past, he never apologized or felt bad about snapping at her if she bothered him. She usually did it while he was trying to work or figure something out. If he felt nothing then, he should feel nothing now. But he did feel something. He felt... guilty?
It was his turn to stop in his tracks, and Konan crashed head-first into his back. He apologized for stopping so suddenly, but then she stared up in shock. "Pein...? Did you just... apologize?" Since when did the stoic leader apologize to a subordinate?
He was nearly touching her, he was that close, and he hid his flustered, blushing face inside the collar of his cloak. "Oh... well, it was my fault. I shouldn't have stopped."
Now she was really thrown off balance! He admitted to being at fault? And he didn't even step back to increase the distance between them. Could it be possible that he felt some sort of connection with her after all this time? How could it be? She gazed up at him curiously, and he didn't shy away from eye contact like usual. Anyone else would have been afraid to look him in the eye, afraid of what that swirling gray abyss could do. But when he was around, she was fearless. With him, she felt comfortable with looking danger in the face and confronting it courageously. She had to tell him, whether he felt the same way or not. She had to know once and for all. "Let's just go home." He nodded slightly and trailed so he walked beside her instead of in front, and they spent the rest of their trip in silence, the moon slowly rising in the distance.
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What was a god without an angel? What would he be without her at his side? He couldn't help but watch her unblinkingly as she gracefully slipped into the joined bathroom after shedding her Akatsuki cloak. A pause, then the sound of running water as she turned on the shower. In her absence, he thought about everything that had happened so far. What did she really mean to him? Once in a while he would display an emotion to her that he hadn't felt, much less used, in several years. It didn't matter which one, but every now and then his mask slipped, revealing him piece by piece for what he really was. And, he realized with another pang of guilt, he had never bothered to learn anything about her. Granted, being the working leader of the Akatsuki, gathering Bijuu and running the rain country was not only time consuming but difficult. But he should have cared, at least a little.
He made up his mind to be a little kinder to her. She emerged from the shower wrapped in her long towel, signifying that it was his turn. Normally he would have gone in without incident, but his eyes curiously glanced at her bare shoulders briefly as he walked by, and though he tried to be sneaky, she still noticed. Turning his eyes quickly back to the open door, he regained what little composure he had left and began his own showering routine. He was extremely predictable when it came to cleanliness. Every other day, he would go in right after she did, and took precisely ten minutes. She never could figure out how he managed to do that so accurately, but Pein was just strange in that way. Thirty seconds. Water turned on. Two minutes, a clunk as he dropped the soap. Every single time! Even an S-class shinobi wasn't immune to dropping the soap! Ten minutes. She was still combing out her severely tangled hair in front of the mirror as he came out behind her, not pausing to run his hand once through his own hair.
And then he stopped. He took a step back to the mirror, inspecting his hair carefully. Unpredictable for once...? She had never known him to be vain. Heck, she never even knew why he got all those piercings, but again, he was strange like that. She never questioned anything about him. Then he shrugged, leaving his hair the way it was, and stepped aside to stretch. He turned aside for a moment as she neared her closet, dressing lightly for the evening. Summer had hit in full strength, and neither wanted to sweat in the evening heat. Even so, Pein rarely wore more than his casual pants even in winter.
She sat down on her bed with a shudder, not at all cold but worried. There was so little time left to capture the rest of the Bijuu, and they had so many left. Only four had been taken, so five remained. Who knew how much of a time window they had before the ritual didn't work as well? And at this rate of losing members... it already took far too long to complete a cycle. He must have noticed her trepidation, since he didn't immediately go to sleep but instead watched her as he sat on his own bed, gazing across the short span.
"You're worried too." It wasn't a question. He knew she was worried.
She nodded once slowly, looking up to meet his eyes again. "I am. I keep thinking we might run out of time before we finish collecting the Bijuu."
He stared back, his nearly imperceptible tilt of his head seen only by her. She wasn't worried for their safety, only the lack of the one thing they could never control. Time was cruel, always slipping away. "Even if we run out of time, we can keep the ones we have until the time is right again. We can wait." Suddenly he smirked, a hint of mischief flickering across his face. "Are you worried that we'll get bored in the meantime?"
She smirked with the same amount of mischief. Why was he so playful all of a sudden? "Perhaps. The free time would be a little much, wouldn't it?"
He leaned closer, that grin refusing to leave his face. "You might have to resort to taking up another hobby in addition to origami!"
Her face contorted into a wider grin. Whatever mood he was in, she definitely preferred it over all the others, and she leaned closer as well. "What hobby could possibly be as entertaining as origami?"
Before he could think up a suitable answer on his own, his body had a much better idea as he leaned forward to close the gap between them, doing the most ridiculous thing he ever could have imagined. He kissed her. Why? No, wait, why not? Why hadn't he done this yet? Why was he doing this now? Why had he never imagined this possibility? It wasn't a light peck either, it was a full, lingering kind, one he had never even known he was capable of. What surprised him more was that she didn't mind. Exactly opposite of that, even! She seemed to need this just as badly as he did, and she added her own response into that daring kiss. She must have been holding out for quite some time, judging by her energy. How long had she waited to show this to him? He had to know. Pulling back was difficult, between how much he wanted to keep going and her trying to do the same, but he left just enough space between their lips to ask.
"How long, Konan?"
She paused, his warmth making her shiver with anticipation. "Always. I never stopped wanting you."
He stared back at her eyes, but she didn't look away like everyone else. Only she never feared the endless swirl of the Rin'negan, never thought he would hurt her. It was complete trust, total communion, absolute surrender. Even as he drew close again, reconnecting that kiss, she never pulled away, but went so far as to pull him closer, nearly losing his balance as yanked him over to her bed. He gave in to her demand, and as he lay there on top of her, she kissed his cheek absently, letting her hand drift down his well defined muscles. Her eyes drifted across his shoulders before meeting his eyes again.
"Pein?"
He smiled, just a little. She was the only one who used his name, but he never wanted so much to hear it from anyone else. "Hmm?"
"Could we stay like this tonight?"
He nodded slightly, then lay next to her so she could put her head on his chest. Maybe she was worried, or scared, maybe a little lonely. Whatever the case was, with her there, he felt more comfortable than he had ever been. In the back of his mind, he remembered what such a feeling towards someone was called. Love? Another new experience. One more added emotion to what was now a fairly long list for him.
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A/N: That's it for now. Wha, you want more? Hee hee... Well, not right this second alright? Happy V-day, by the way. I'll be writing a super special P/K fic later JUST for today! Be sure to keep your eyes out for it!