A/N: This took a lot longer than it really should have, but I had a surge of creativity last night since I was by myself at work and there were several hours of nothing to do. Also, if you can guess what inspired the name of the tabloid, huge nerd points to you.

When Joel returned to his room, he couldn't find his knapsack. "Goddamn it," he muttered, looking all over the room. He was going to visit the Avengers, claiming he was on a break, but he needed his bag first.

"Looking for something?" A voice drawled. Joel whipped around to see Scott and Johnny standing at the door, the latter was trying—and failing—to conceal his snickering.

"Where's my bag, Scott?" Joel stood up and clenched his fists. The boy with the visor strode towards him and stood, towering over Joel. "Look, I don't have time for this. Stop being a petty bitch and give me my shit."

Scott scoffed and glanced over his shoulder at Johnny. "Do you hear the way he talks to me? Should we teach his puny ass a lesson?" The blond murmured an agreement and Joel stepped back.

"Scott, please. This isn't— Why are you such an asshole? What did I do to piss you off so much?"

Scott tilted his head and pushed Joel to the floor. "You really want to know why, Joel? You waltz in here acting like a rebel because you're older than us and like you don't need to be here. You talk tough but underneath all that, you're a scared little boy who doesn't know how hard the world is to mutants like us." Joel's gaze hardened and he raised a hand as if he were going to blast Scott but he only pulled himself to his feet.

"First off, I did not walk in here like Rebel Without a Cause," he growled. "Secondly, I do know how bad the world outside is. Maybe not because I'm a mutant, but because I spent two years of my teenage life on the streets of New York, making money by selling my body!" The two boys watched Joel, taken aback at this outburst. "I'm not saying I can sympathize with you guys, but I've been looked down upon for who I am." He sat on the bed and exhaled.

Scott opened his mouth to say something but only shut it. He took a seat beside Joel and Johnny sat on the floor. "This is so weird," Joel mumbled, looking at the two of them. "Two minutes ago, you were about to beat me up and now we're like this. If the admission of my past didn't work, I was going to use my status as an Avenger—"

"You're an Avenger?" Johnny asked, looking at Joel incredulously. "No fucking way." Joel pulled out his phone, scrolling through his images until he found the team photo they took after Peter was initiated. He held it up for them to see.

"Holy shit," Scott muttered, examining the picture closely. "Is that Deadpool?" He pointed to where Wade had stuck his head into the picture at the last minute, right behind Peter and Joel.

Joel chuckled a little and nodded. "Yeah, that's him, and there's me." He singled out his spot beside Spider-Man, in his green-and-black suit and red ski mask. "Storm Bane. I know it's stupid but it's better than The Incredible Mask."

"Hey, Joel?" Scott fidgeted with his hands. "I know you're probably never going to—"

"Just forget about it, Scott. It's cool." Joel waved it off.

"But—" Scott started and stopped. "I'm sorry. I mean, it's not just gonna go away because I apologized. Can we start over?"

Joel seemed to mull this over. "I'm Joel."

"Scott. This is Johnny." Johnny put up a hand in a wave.

"So what exactly are your powers?" Joel put his phone away and opened the window.

"Hey, Pete, how are you holding up?" Peter looked up from rearranging his locker to see Harry, MJ, and Gwen watching him with somber expressions. He put down his science textbook and shut the locker.

"Okay, who died?" He asked, glancing at each one of them in wonder.

Gwen laid a hand on Peter's shoulder. "Remember that promise the three of us made the day you started going out with Wade?" Peter nodded slowly.

"We're gonna kill him. Or to the best of our abilities since he can regenerate." Harry came up behind him and wrapped a protective arm on his shoulders.

Peter watched his friends before letting out a huge sigh. "Alright, what did Wade do now?" Last time they said they'd kill Wade, the merc had inadvertently led one of the people he wronged to Peter, only managing to subdue them before they could lay a hand on his 'baby boy'.

"You don't know?" MJ pulled up a page on her phone and showed Peter, who paled.

TIMELY ATLAS INFOTAINER

SECRET SUPERHERO RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED: DEADPOOL AND SPIDER-MAN?!

"Oh, fuck."

"Hey, Parker, looks like your freaky boyfriend found someone much more fitting, huh?" Max Whitmore called out. Travis stood beside him and nudged him, shaking his head. "Shut up, dude."

Travis walked over to Peter. "Hey, Peter," he said softly. "Um, I was wondering if you knew where Joel was. Wanted to thank him again for saving me and all."

"Uh, Joel doesn't go here anymore," Peter replied, rubbing the back of his neck. Evidently, it never got out that Joel was never a high school student in the first place, but Peter didn't feel that it was his place to inform Travis of that. "He transferred to a school upstate."

"Oh." Travis looked at the floor. "By the way, I don't believe what that crap tabloid is saying. I know Wade wouldn't cheat on you." He winked and Peter stared at the redhead, wide-eyed. "Don't worry, my lips are sealed."

"Hey, Petey!" Wade called out, bounding over to the small gathering, only to receive dirty looks from Harry, MJ, and Gwen. "Whoa, who died?"

"You in about two seconds," MJ hissed, turning her phone to him.

"Sweetie, you know I can't die," Wade cooed before glancing down at the phone. He snatched it out of her hand. "What the shit?!"

Harry crossed his arms over his chest, glaring daggers at Wade. "You have five seconds to explain this, Wilson." The merc only looked from the article to his boyfriend's angry friends to his boyfriend, who was wearing a small smirk, clearly enjoying Wade's reaction.

"Baby Boy, you know I would never cheat on you," Wade said, latching onto the brunet. "There are so many alternate universes with Deadpools, it could be any one of them. Y'know, Evil Deadpool looks exactly like me!"

"Yeah, minus the obvious dismembered body parts of yours," Peter deadpanned. He placed a finger on Wade's scarred lips and grabbed the front of the man's hoodie, yanking him close. "Don't let it happen again or we're through." Out of the corner of his eye, Peter could see his friends relax somewhat and pecked Wade on the cheek. "Now let's go get some of your favorite Mexican so we can wipe that sadness off your face."

Wade brightened instantly and he swept Peter off his feet. "Don't worry, Petey Pie. Spidey and I are history! You and Joel are the only ones for me!"

"Wait, how is Joel involved in—?" But Wade had already fled, Peter slung over his shoulder before Harry could finish.

"Hi, I'm here to see Isaac McDaniels," Joel said politely to the pretty blond receptionist at TAI. "I'm a former co-worker and I've come to express my congratulations on his recent success."

Cindy—as her name tag spelled out—smiled so brightly Joel could swear he almost went blind. "Right this way." She stood and extended an arm as way of guiding Joel down the hallway. "Mr. McDaniels' promotion for the Spider-Man/Deadpool story was huge. He now has his own office and I'm his personal assistant."

"Very nice." Joel nodded. "Isaac and I go way back. We shared a, uh, corner office at a high-end business in Manhattan." He could only mask the truth so much, but clearly this girl wasn't going to start asking questions.

Cindy opened the door. "Go right on in. Mr. McDaniels will return in a moment." Joel gave her a curt nod and walked around the room, narrowly dodging the clutter.

"How may I help y—" Isaac walked in and looked up from his paperwork when he saw Joel and dropped his papers. "J-Joel?"

"Hey, Zac." Joel strode over to the older male and smirked up at him. "Been too long. How long has it been? Five years? And the celebrity gossip business, huh?" Isaac only stood there, staring at Joel. "Enough small talk. I need you to detract the Spideypool story."

Isaac, having finally regained himself, shook his head. "I can't do that. That story's paying for my life right now."

"I don't think you see the severity of the situation, Isaac." Joel pulled out an envelope. "Do you know what blackmail is?" He opened it to pull out a handful of pictures. "If you don't write something that tells people that story was a fake, I'll release these pictures of your days as a street hooker."

"You wouldn't dare," Isaac snapped. Joel cocked his head to the side, his smirk getting wider.

"Try me." Joel picked out a random one. "Oh yeah, this one. You were nineteen, I was sixteen. The day you roofied my drink and had your somnophiliac way with me, a poor, defenseless, underaged boy."

Isaac looked between the pictures and Joel. "What did I do to make you hate me so much?" He asked, sitting in his revolving chair.

Joel moved forward and smacked Isaac across the face, hard. "Did you suffer amnesia or something?" He shouted. "You, Isaac Winick McDaniels, are the reason I even became a fucking prostitute! You never even saw it, you fucking tool! I was in love with you and you used me as a toy. The kid you wanted around to make yourself look cool, which, trust me, you're not that cool, even with me around. You coerced me into working with you. You said you—you'd let me do stuff to you."

"I did love you—"

"Bull-fucking-shit. If you loved me like you claim you did, you wouldn't have done what you did, dragging me around like a rag doll and showing me off to your friends like a prize to be won. Fuck you, Zac. Detract that shit or these go viral. I have no shame in releasing these. Do you?" Without another word, Joel snapped his fingers and vanished.

At a newsstand outside Times Square, a tall brunette stopped on her way to work and examined the magazines until her gaze landed on the latest Timely Atlas Infotainer. SECRET SUPERHERO RELATIONSHIP EXPOSED: DEADPOOL AND SPIDER-MAN?! The headline screamed. Interested, she picked it up and scanned the pages, landing on McDaniels' only professional shot of Deadpool up against a brick wall, lips locked with Spider-Man.

"Oh, Wade, Wade, Wade. What have you gotten yourself into?"