Author's note: Trigger warning for non-con and drug use.
As Emma was straddling Neal in the backseat of his car, he asked her, "Hey, when was the last time you got some new clothes?"
Emma shook herself out of her excitement and thought first, then replied, "Belle bought this jacket for me for my birthday. But we usually hit up thrift stores at least a few times a year or so."
"So, you buy your clothes second hand? Man, that blows. Come on, babe. We're going to the mall."
"What? No. Neal, I don't have any money for new clothes."
"Who said you were buying? Let's go," Neal said, sliding Emma off his dampened pants, and the two climbed into the front row seats. Slamming on the gas, the two sped off toward the mall.
When the two arrived at the department store by the side entrance, they entered hand in hand through the automatic doors and headed towards the women's section.
Once they had arrived at their destination, Neal let go of Emma's hand and gestured to the waiting clothes, then said, "Alright, babe. For today, the world is your oyster. Have at it."
With a disbelieving grin, Emma looked at Neal, and asked, "Are you for real right now?"
Mocking a gesture of being hurt, Neal took Emma's hands in his own and said, "I'll never lie to you. Now, go already."
Sensing no deceit from Neal, Emma's grin grew wider. Emma was beside herself. Of course, she and Belle had gone window shopping before, but never had they actually bought new clothes together. While looking down at the brand-new jeans, Emma was reminded of how Belle had bought the jacket she wore now, and she marveled at how lucky she was to have two people in her life that truly loved her. Sure, Neal had not said the word 'love' before, but Emma fully believed that he did in fact love her.
Emma tried on several items of clothing as Neal sat at the table reserved for customers, texting someone on his cell phone. After what seemed to be a blissful eternity, Emma held out the brand-new outfit she had chosen.
Neal looked up from his cell phone and asked, "Now, are you sure this is it?"
Beaming with excitement, Emma nodded.
"Alright, babe. I'll carry that." As he took the clothes from Emma with one hand and held out his other for hers. The two casually made their way up to the register, but just as they began to approach it, Neal suddenly turned left towards the exit. At that same moment, alarms sounded in protest, and Neal tightened his grip on Emma's hand as he shifted his walk into a dead run.
Emma's eyes went wide in confused excitement, as they bolted through the opening door. Behind Emma, she could hear the raised voice of an employee cry out, "Wait a minute! You need to pay for that!"
Running to the car, Neal yelled out, "Get in!" As the two thieves jumped in, Neal turned the car over, and the engine roared to life. Neal jammed the shifter into gear, then slammed his foot on the gas pedal. As the car sped away, it left a gust of gray smoke and burnt rubber.
As Emma looked incredulously at Neal, she felt her heart pumping to the point that it felt in danger of bursting from within her chest.
"I can't believe you did that!" she cried.
As Emma heard her own words, she couldn't tell if she her exhilaration was from fear or excitement.
"Fuck those corporate pigs, babe. What has this world ever done for either one us? I'll tell you what! Nothing, that's what. You fuckin' deserve to be treated like the goddamn royalty that you are, and I'll make sure that you always will be treated like that. I fucking love you, Emma."
Emma felt her entire body begin to quiver with excitement as she bit her lower lip, and told Neal, "Pull over."
"What?" He asked with genuine confusion.
"Pull. The fuck. Over," she ordered, as she began to lose herself in the excitement at the sudden thought of losing her virginity to the man loved her in return.
Neal slowed down and pulled into a back street, and just as he pulled the shifter up to park, Emma was on top of him and kissing him with a new level of fierceness. Emma felt Neal swell beneath her and her own sex responded.
Breaking away from the embrace but without stopping her thrusting, she said, "I want you to fuck me."
Without a word spoken, Neal awkwardly slid his pants to his ankles, and Emma responded in kind. Emma felt the hard cock break through her, and an explosion of fireworks burst through her as she screamed out, first from the pain of his entry, and then from the new feeling of pleasure.
Emma began to rock up and down on Neal's sex. His breathing quickened as he shot his hands up and under her shirt. Emma felt Neal's hands slip under her bra and roughly grip her soft and firm breasts. Emma's nipples hardened under Neal's grasp as the waves of electricity shot through her. Just as Emma felt herself reaching her apex, Neal gasped out he suddenly pulled himself out of her and shot his spent load on her thigh. Feeling both deprived and exhilarated, Emma chose to focus on the rush of adrenaline as she resumed kissing Neal.
As their embrace ended, the two replaced their clothing, and Neal asked, "How was your first time?"
Emma wasn't quite sure of the answer, as she had no comparison, so she decided to air on the side of caution, as she replied, "It was magical."
Neal smiled as he said, "Yeah, it was."
The day before finals, Emma found herself in a sudden whirl of panic in Neal's apartment. Belle was working a double shift.
As Emma was pacing the small studio apartment, she kept thinking the same thought, over and over, I'm going to flunk out of high school. I know it. I'm going to fail…
After about fifteen minutes, Neal looked up from his text message conversation, and for the first time, he saw Emma looking as though she was at her wits end. Emma's hair was disheveled as her hands alternated between being stuffed in her pants' pockets to running them through her hair, and with rubbing her temples. Emma's face had become a look of abject horror.
Neal let out a long, frustrated sigh, and asked, "Babe, what's the matter? You looked stressed."
Without pausing her pacing, Emma snapped, "I have finals in the morning, and if I don't pass then I don't graduate."
"Well, who cares? What's the big deal?"
With her eyes going slightly wide, Emma looked at Neal lying comfortably on the bed, without a care in the world, and she answered with a trace amount of anger, "I care Neal, my sister cares, and I thought you cared too."
Neal rolled his eyes, and lazily got out of bed, then walked over to Emma.
While in front of the blond, her gripped her shoulders, to hold her in place, then said, "I do care babe, I love you, and if it's important to you to have some piece of paper, then I care." Neal broke his gaze away from Emma and looked at the bathroom door, then said, "Wait here a second. I've got just the thing."
Neal ended the embrace, then strode into the bathroom.
While alone, Emma's thoughts turned back to her fear of failing and with ruining her plans of joining the Navy with Belle. She's counting on me. I need to be able to do this for both of us, she thought in desperation.
As Neal came back in the room, he held up a bottle of small orange colored pills, and as he shook them, he said, "These little guys will help you study for sure. Here, I'm going to crush some up and you just snort them, and that way you can study all night. It's pretty much a smart pill. They're called Study Buddies. I sell allot of these to college kids trying to pass their exams."
Emma squinted her eyes in disbelief, then said, "Wait, what? You sell drugs? Neal, I can't snort these."
Neal crossed his arms defensively, then said, "First of all, Emma, yes I sell medication to people that need them, people such as yourself. I don't sell to junkies or anything like that. And what's the big deal? How is taking these little pills any different from the alcohol or coffee you drink? It's the hypocrisy of society trying to keep you down is all. But hey, if you wanna fail out of high school, be my guest, or you can have some of this, and pass. Your choice."
Emma felt the knot of fear grow in her stomach, as her inability to make a choice grew in unison.
Neal, who was not unfamiliar with reading a person's desperation, saw the indecision coming off in waves from Emma. Choosing his words with care, Neal said, "Emma, don't you trust me?"
Hearing those word froze Emma in place. With complete sincerity, the blonde answered, "Of course I do, Neal. With all my heart."
Neal placed one reassuring hand to the side of Emma's face, sending soothing waves of relief to her skin as he said, "Then trust me now."
"Okay."
With a grin, Neal walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a cup from the sink, then proceeded to crush three of the orange pills. Neal then scraped the dusted remains into a long line and motioned for Emma to do the deed. Emma ignored her better judgment, put her faith into the man she loved, and walked over to the table.
Neal grinned at Emma, then said, "Buckle up, butter cup. You're going for a ride."
Further obeying, Emma pushed her hair to the side, knelt down, then vigorously inhaled the crushed tablets.
Emma felt her nerves slightly abate as the powdered pills flew into her waiting body and dissolved into her blood stream.
A surprised expression came over Neal's face, and he said excitedly, "Damn, girl, you took that like a champ! Now, normally taking the pill whole, the affects kick in after about thirty minutes, but crushing 'em, knocks the time down to about ten minutes or so."
"Okay," Emma breathed out in relief. "Thanks again, Neal. This really means a lot to me."
"I got you, babe."
As the affects began to build within Emma, she first noticed a growing sense of calm come over her, as if she was suddenly wrapped by a warm blanket of serenity. Emma had always felt the safest when she was with Belle, but now she couldn't understand how she had ever felt scared or what it had felt like in the past. Emma moved to the kitchen table and placed all her books out in a row and began to read from them all. What she had thought was complexity, suddenly seemed utterly simple. While normally it was difficult for Emma to keep her focus on the majority of her text books for more than twenty minutes or so, she found that this was no longer the case. Now that she was under the influence of stimulants, Emma suddenly felt that the only thing in the world was her and her books, and those books were not only the only other objects in the universe, but they were also the most interesting as well. Emma studied with a fierce focus.
Six hours later, Emma's world came crashing down.
While at first Emma had found her focus to be the sharpest it had ever been in her life, she now found herself rapidly losing all control. Moments before, all of her thoughts had made sense and were in perfect order, but now, as the blonde looked down at her text books, it seemed she was looking a sea of words, and she couldn't make heads or tails of any of it.
"Come on, focus! I need to focus! I had this. I just fucking had this!" Emma looked down at her texts and began to wildly flip though pages, and out of her frustration, she shoved her geometry text book off the table, and it crashed with a echoing thud off the stove.
"What the fuck!" Neal exclaimed, as he was suddenly roused from sleep. Neal looked over at Emma and saw her bent over the kitchen table. He watched her body shake with the sobs coming forth.
As Neal cleared his throat, he stated with growing frustration, "Hey, finish up already. We need to go to bed."
Upon hearing those words, Emma was suddenly hit with disbelief. Here she was trying to study, so that she could pass her exams, and now her boyfriend was telling her to go to bed. With her tears suddenly dry, Emma turned around and placed her trembling hands over her hips, then said, "Don't you get it? I need to be studying. I mean, I should have been studying this entire time! If I don't pass, my life is over!"
Neal sat up in bed and he bore his eyes in Emma's, then stated coolly, "I thought I was your life."
As Emma regained her voice, she stated, "Back off, Neal. I mean it."
"Watch your fucking mouth. I said you're done," Neal growled.
Emma felt her rage building as she slammed an unsteady hand on the plastic table, and it buckled under her strike.
"Damnit, Neal. I need to fucking study. Can't you give me a little more?"
With a sudden burst of speed, Neal, threw off the soiled blankets, then strode three solid steps towards Emma. Without pausing, he drew back his stiffened hand, then he let the back of it fly across Emma's exposed cheek, which sent waves of pain radiating through her face.
With an unbridled fury in his eyes, Neal jammed one hard edged accusatory finger at Emma gapping face, then said, "I'm not going to have this conversation again, Emma. Get. In. The Goddamn. Bed. Now."
From the shocking blow, Emma suddenly forgot her resolve as it drained from her, and all that was left was the growing despair she felt in the pit of her stomach. As the pain and blood sprung forth from the side of her face, Emma no longer felt able to keep her gaze on Neal, and her head lowered in submission.
As Neal turned from Emma, he took two steps towards the bed and half turned his head back towards her. Without picking up her gaze, Emma too made her way to the bed.
As the two settled into the bed together, Neal moved to hold Emma under the sheets, and he was met without resistance. Smiling, Neal, said, "I really wish that you hadn't made me do that. I don't want to hurt you, but sometimes you just make me so crazy, and I can't really think." Holding Emma in a tighter embrace, Neal then softly whispered in her ear, "Forgive me."
As Emma tried to stave off her growing tears, she nodded her head in compliance.
"That's my good, girl. My very good girl."
As a few minutes passed, Emma found herself beginning to fall into unconsciousness, but then she heard Neal begin to speak.
"Babe, I can't sleep. I'm going to need some help here." Neal kicked up of their mutual blanket, then disentangled himself from Emma and said, "Help me out."
Emma propped herself up on one elbow, so that she could face Neal. As she was about to ask what he meant, she looked down and saw his erection tenting up from his boxers. As Emma began to mutter a protest, Neal cut her off with a steel eyed gaze that left no room for misinterpretation. Emma removed her glasses, setting them on the nightstand, slunk down to the end of the bed, then unbuttoned Neal's boxers which revealed his throbbing member. With one last silent plea, Emma gazed back at Neal and was once again met with his stare. Emma lowered her eyes once more, and with her left hand, she began to stroke Neal's sex.
Neal began to make soft moaning sounds that coincided with Emma's stroking. As Emma continued, not thinking of her force, Neal suddenly let out a soft yell, "You fucking bitch! That hurt! Can't you do anything right?"
As Emma looked on with horror filled eyes, her mouth dropped open in confusion.
"Just fucking suck it already," Neal commanded as he gripped the back of her blond hair and pushed her open mouth over his member.
"Oh yeah, babe. That's it. Don't fucking stop," Neal commanded over the sound of Emma gagging.
Neal, never letting go of Emma's hair, continued to thrust her again and again over his trembling cock.
Emma, trying not think about what was happening to her, told herself over and over, Neal loves me. I shouldn't have upset him. I'll do better. I'm just nervous about finals is all. It won't be like this next time.
As Neal came to a sudden completion, Emma felt the warm and thick fluid fill her mouth. Not knowing what to think, she simply swallowed and crawled back to her side of the bed. When Emma curled back into position, she felt Neal's long hand come over her.
Through long tired breaths, Neal stated, "Now we can go to bed."
Emma found herself in state of confusion. She knew she loved Neal, and that he loved her. She knew that Belle loved her. They both said they loved her. This is just a different kind of love is all, Emma reasoned. Not daring to think further on the topic, Emma once again closed her eyes, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
Emma slowly opened up her heavy eyelids and found herself blinded by the rising sun. Using her free hand to shield her eyes from the bright rays, she looked around the room. Emma could find no sign of Neal, as his side of the bed was empty, and there were no sounds to be heard, besides the noise of the city from outside. Stretching away the stiffness of sleep, Emma began to yawn, and was greeting with the stinging pain of her lip. Emma put her hand to her lip and was met with more discomfort. Emma, suddenly feeling a wave of nausea surpass her pain, felt the contents of her stomach suddenly burst up. Turning her head over the side of the bed, she repeatedly threw up down the side of the bed. Finally, Emma began to dry heave, as nothing else was coming up, but the regurgitation continued for the next several minutes.
Feeling a growing sense of panic, which Emma first assumed was from the physical pain she was left in, she went to use her phone's camera to assess the damage. As Emma picked up her phone, she saw two things: one, it was nine-thirty in the morning, and her finals started at eight thirty in the school auditorium. Two, she had dozens of texts from Belle that were all variations of the same message. 'Where are you?'
"Oh no!, No, no, no!" Emma yelled out in panic. As Emma flew from the bed, she hastily pulled on various articles of clothing, not caring for their cleanliness. Looking around in a horror, Emma searched for her shoes. After what seemed an eternity, she found them under the bed. Without looking back, Emma swung open the apartment door and stormed down the stairs. Breathing heavily, Emma made her way outside to the oppressive desert heat. Realizing the several mile distance from Neal's apartment to her high school, Emma felt an overwhelming desire to crawl back into bed, but she mustered her resolve and despite the heat, she zipped up her jacket. Thinking of what she could do, Emma pulled out her cell phone and dialed Neal, but after several unanswered attempts, Emma felt her terror grow. Wiping away her tears and sweat, Emma set off at a run for her high school.
I can do this, damnit, the determined woman thought as she ran from one block to another. Without thinking, Emma moved with pure instinct across the congested L.A. streets. Suddenly jarred from her fears, Emma was assaulted with the blazing horns of oncoming cars, and she dodged out of their way as she nearly collided with the glistening grill of an SUV. As the breaks of the SUV screamed at her, Emma held out her hands. Regardless, it bumped into her. Panting, Emma looked up to see the furious driver holding up her hands in rage. Mouthing the word, 'sorry,' Emma made her way across the rest of the busy intersection.
Feeling her lungs and leg muscles scream out in protest, Emma bent down and began to pant heavily. As the sweat dropped down her face, Emma pulled out her cell phone and saw that it was now ten in the morning, I have two more hours, she thought in horror. As Emma replaced her cell phone, she resumed her run, and did everything she could to ignore her body's protest.
By a quarter after ten, Emma bounded up the brick stairs, two at a time. Emma burst through the school entrance and ran past the truancy officer, then went straight into the auditorium. Emma's ears struggled to adjust the defending silence of the room as only random coughs and pencils marks could be hard. Emma strained her vision to find her sister through the several dozens of rows of chairs over three separate levels. Just as Emma felt herself beginning to cry in defeat, she saw her sister sitting the front row, with an empty seat beside her. With the last of her nearly spent energy, Emma rushed down the multiple levels, drawing sideways glances from several students as she made her way further down the auditorium. Emma sat down in the lightly cushioned metallic chair next to her sister. Just as exhaustion began to win over, Emma breathed a less-than-silent sigh of relief. An exhausted Emma unfolded her small retractable wooden desk that had various pieces of graffiti carved on it and placed her slick and trembling arms over the desk.
Belle looked up in disbelief at her sister, whom was nearly unrecognizable. Emma's long blonde hair was dirty and drenched in sweat. Her skin was glistening from perspiration, and her mouth, an angry shade of purple, was swollen on one side.
Bending forward, Belle whispered, "Emma?"
In between breaths, Emma looked with desperate eyes at her sister as she felt overcome with grief and terror. She knew there would be no way for her to pass her exams. No way to graduate high school. No way to join the Navy tomorrow. And no way she and Belle would remain together.
As Emma's bottom lip began to quiver, an unimpressed teacher walked over and dropped her inch-deep exam on Emma's lap and sneered, "Good luck, Ms. Swan," then walked away without another word.
Meeting Belle's concerned gaze, Emma concluded, I can't drag her down with me, not now. Holding up an open hand, she faked a small smile, and pointed to Belle's nearly finished test, then opened up her own. In her racing mind, Emma read, 'Question one…'
Emma walked out the auditorium, with the weight of the world on her shoulders. Emma had been one of the last students to stand in front of the patiently waiting teacher sitting behind a desk with a laptop, printer, and test scanner. As Emma made her way through the line of anxiously waiting students, she handed her test bubble sheet to the waiting teacher. The teacher slipped the sheet through the reader, and the results came out from the printer moments later. The teacher looked over the sheet and verified the information on the screen. The teacher then looked up through his rounded glasses with a saddened expression, and handed Emma her printed results, face down. While Emma had already known her results, she still found herself flipping the sheet over and saw the failing grade typed out in front of her. Suddenly seeing the fruits of her labor, Emma felt her despair reach new heights within her. Making her way up the stairs, back to the exit of the darkened auditorium, Emma crumpled her results, and as with her future, she then tossed the paper into the lined trash can. Emma prayed that Belle wouldn't be outside the double hinged doors, but she knew better. Stuck between the choice of hiding from her sister and seeing her disappointed expression, Emma chose to step through the doors.
With two feet out from the door, Emma was nearly brought back in the room, as Belle fiercely hugged her sister. With her mouth next to Emma's ear, Belle whispered, "Oh, my God Emma. What happened to you? I texted you, like twenty times, and then you show up over two hours late?"
Emma braced herself for Belle to begin to belittle her for tardiness, but instead, the girl explained, through falling tears, "Emma, I was so worried. Please tell me that you're alright."
First feeling confused, then overcome with her sister's concern, Emma did the only thing she could do, and she lost herself in Belle's embrace and added to Belle's tears.
"Bells, I really fucked up. I fucked up, big time. I failed my exams. I failed," Emma sobbed out.
Belle found herself lost for words as the two embraced in the deserted hallway that echoed with Emma's proclamation.
"Emma, I don't know how, but we'll get through this. Somehow, we will. I've got some money put aside, and now that we won't be in school anymore, we'll be able to pick up more shifts. We can stay in some hotel for a time, until we have enough for a down deposit on an apartment. We can do this, Em, you and me against the world, and the world is fucked."
Through her despair, Emma heard the growing resolve in her sister's voice, and her own began to rise up in her.
"Bells."
"Emma, I'm not going to leave you here. I haven't signed any paperwork yet to join the Navy. I won't leave you alone."
I can't let her do this, Emma thought as she began to realize her sister would never leave her. Emma began to have competing feelings with the unyielding desire to have her sister in her life and the desire to see her sister get free from their struggles. Emma swallowed the last of her tears and made her choice to protect her sister. Emma tightened her grip on Belle, not trusting herself to keep her face as resolved as her words.
Emma took one steadying breath before she began, "Belle. You're going to sign up for the Navy, and you'll do it right now. You're going to do it because that was the plan then, and it is the plan now. We just need to change the plan a little bit is all. While you're in boot camp, I'm going to study to get my GED, then I'll be right behind you. This way, you'll pave the way for me, and I'll follow you." With a grin, Emma added, "And do you know that means, Belle?"
Through her slowing tears, Belle asked, "What?"
"It means, I'll likely need to call you sir, for the rest of our careers."
As a small laugh escaped Belle, Emma half believed the beautiful lie she had just told.
As the sisters walked hand in hand down the school hallway towards the Navy recruiter's office, they had to squeeze by several dozens of students running past them. Many students were blaring airhorns, tossing up papers, and embracing each other after passing their final exams.
Emma felt herself beginning to lose her resolve once again, but when her sister simply tightened her hand over her own, Emma found the will to continue down the hallway, past the excited, newly-graduated students.
While Belle felt her anxiety lower a degree or two, her concern did not abate, as she stole glances at Emma's busted lip. Finally, unable to keep her silence, Belle asked, "Emma, what happened to you?"
Unable to face her sister, either to lie or tell her the truth, Emma looked straight ahead, and said, "I… ahhh… I was stupid is all."
Not understanding her sister's unwillingness to tell her what was the matter, Belle continued, "Em, this is me asking. What happened? You can tell me."
Emma both heard and felt the sincerity in Belle's voice. Debating with herself, Emma began to think, I can't tell Belle. She… She just wouldn't understand. It's my fault that I upset Neal.
Suddenly, the lie came as easily as breathing to Emma, as she answered, "Belle, it was horrible, Neal had left for work, really early, and I was getting ready to head to school. I was walking down the stairs and somehow, I lost my balance. I fell down the stairs and landed right on my face. Belle, it hurt so much, and by the time I got myself up, I missed the bus, and I had to run here."
Sensing that Belle had bought into her lie, and suddenly feeling confident in her own ability to show that she believed the lie, Emma turned to look at her sister as they walked. Emma's heart fell a little further as she saw her sister's tear streaked face. Emma straitened her shoulders back, then plastered the most confident simile on her face that she could to try to ease away some of her sister's concern.
"Come on, Bells. Let's wipe away those tears and get your ass into the Navy."