A/N:

Prompt: #49- Practical

Song: Fake by The Frames

Fake

"What does she even see in him, do you think?" James looked up the hall where Lily was locked in arm with that Ravenclaw, Warren.

His friends sighed and rolled their eyes. James had been asking the same question every time he saw them together for the past five months.

"James, we've been over this a hundred times." Remus waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention. "Leave the girl alone. She's happy."

"He's not listening, mate." Sirius gestured to the couple who were now wrapped in a tight embrace. Warren bent down and kissed Lily lightly on the lips.

James stood up quickly and slug his bag over his shoulder. He checked Warren's shoulder as he exited the hall causing him to stumble into Lily. James continued up the stairs, heading toward first period transfiguration.

"Oi, Potter!" Lily called from behind him. He turned and saw the redhead storming up the stairs toward him, her face a matching shade to her hair. "What the hell was that?"

"Oh, sorry, Evans. I must have tripped."

"James Potter doesn't 'trip.'"

He shrugged. "Sorry to disappoint you, Evans, but even I'm not that perfect."

She scoffed. "Just leave me alone, will you?"

"I will if you'll go out with me," he said with a wicked grin.

"Ha! Not even in your dreams, Potter! Even if I weren't with Matthew."

"C'mon! That guy's a fake! Be practical, Evans. What does a mature guy like that want with a girl as young as you?"

Her eyes grew wide as he spoke. "And just what are you implying? That he's a creep or I'm a child?"

"I'm leaning more toward creep."

"You are insufferable!" she screeched.

"Well, I find you both maddening and magnificent."

"Don't try to flirt and insult me in the same sentence! I'm not one of the bimbos your always after and it won't work on me. Matthew is a perfect gentleman which is more than I can say for you, so just leave me alone."

James moved closer. "See, that's the thing, Evans. I can't just forget about you." He reached out to her but she slapped his hand away quickly.

"Why don't you see Professor Flitwick then? I'm sure he can set you up with a nice memory charm." She turned on her heal and headed back toward the Great Hall.

James watched her go, hypnotized by the swing of her small hips yet boiling from her comments.

James took to following Warren around over the next few weeks. He would slip out of class early and wait for Warren to leave his own class, he listened to his conversations in the library. He was getting nowhere, though. Most of the time he wasn't in class or in Ravenclaw tower he was with Lily. If he was going to find out how Warren really felt he would need to listen in when he wasn't around her. Finally the idea popped into his head. He would have to sneak into Ravenclaw tower. Surely he could catch him not being so gentlemanly around his friends. So one Friday night he waited in the library under the safety of the invisibility cloak. Madame Pince kicked the students out of the library at nine o'clock and James followed his target to the portrait of the Fat Lady. He waited a distance away to avoid being detected. The couple were whispering and James wasn't able to make out what they were saying. He saw Warren lean down and kiss Lily on the lips. He pushed harder and Lily struggled against him, pushing on his shoulders. James could feel his blood boiling. He clenched his fists so tight his nails broke the skin on his palms. He was about to intervene when she finally broke loose. She brushed her hair out of her face and turned to the portrait.

"Wait," the boy called.

"Good night," Lily said sternly without looking back. She gave the password and entered the tower.

Warren shook his head and turned toward Ravenclaw tower. James continued to follow him, his footsteps muffled by the charm he put on his shoes. James was able to slip into the tower behind him before the door shut. Somewhat of a security risk. Surprisingly, he went straight to the dormitory. James followed and lodged himself under the nearest bed. A few seconds later James saw three more pairs of feet enter the room.

"Back early for a Friday night, eh, Matt?" a husky voice asked.

"Not for him," a different voice teased. "This is about average ever since he's been out with that Evans."

"Struck out again," came the third voice, which James recognized as Thomas Berkley's, a beater for the Ravenclaw team.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up boys," Warren retorted. "At least I have a steady girl."

"Aye, but what use is a steady girl if you don't reap the benefits?" the teaser asked.

"Yeah, Matt, when is she gonna take your bollocks out of her pocket and put out?" the husky voice again.

"Hey! That's my girl you wankers are insulting." That's my girl, you mean. James was beginning to regret his decision to eavesdrop. He didn't know how much longer he could handle listening to these prats insult Lily.

"C'mon, mate," Berkley this time. "Have you even had a proper snog yet?"

"You already know the answer to that, Berk." Teaser.

"Well that's where you would be wrong," Warren countered. There was a chorus of approval from the other boys. James was practically shaking with anger.

"So you finally got off with her?" Husky "Tell us, mate! How was it?"

"No, the question is," Berkley, "seeing as it took her that long to let him get that far, how long is she gonna make you wait till you can get a feel of those lovely baps?"

"Or how long do you think you can take care of yourself before you've gotta find someone on the side?" Teaser. "I know a few lovely Hufflepuffs who are on the pull."

"Which ones?" Berkley.

"Catherine Sweeny and Marcelle Pierson."

"Ah, yes, what fine specimens of the species." Husky. "What do you say, Matt."

"I say give it two weeks. You know how their knickers loosen up after a few good snogs." The boys laughed.

"And after that?" Teaser.

"After that might be I'll take them both." The boys cheered agreement.

James had heard enough. He flicked his wand at the sink visible through the open bathroom door. The taps flew off and water began to spray out forcefully. The four boys ran and began trying to quell the flow. James took the opportunity, with all their backs turned, to leave his hiding spot and leave the dormitory. He dodged a few students in the common room and made his way out to the corridor. The heat was high in his face. His heart was pounding against the inside of his chest. His suspicions were confirmed, but how to relay what he had heard to Lily? She wouldn't believe him even if she did listen to what he had to say. Still fuming, he made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady and gave the password. He waited until he entered to throw off the invisibility cloak. Lily was in the corner of the common room surrounded by her friends, gushing over her "date" with Warren. He wouldn't do it now, not to embarrass her in front of her friends, but he would tell her soon.

A/N:

I hope you guys liked this chapter. I didn't really know how to end it so if it feels like it just stopped, that's why. Sorry. Also, as I'm not a boy, I'm not super knowledgeable about boy talk but I do know that they do actually talk about girls like girls talk about boys but I'm pretty sure it's much more vulgar than what girls participate in.

Don't forget to review.

Love ya!