A/N: This chapter is WAY too short and WAY too plot-less, but I had WAY too much fun writing it, so now you have to read it anyway =D
Enjoy!
"Nii-San... Nii-San... Wake up."
Madara blinked his eyes open slowly, pulling the body next to his closer and mumbling about his tiredness. Izuna frowned.
"Nii-San.. I'm hungry!"
Madara sighed and sat up, instinctively his eyes darted over to the clock. It was three a.m. Truthfully, they hadn't eaten at all the day before, so it was understandable that Izuna would need a midnight snack. But he was more sleepy than he was hungry.
"Get some food then." Madara replied shortly, rolling back over.
"But... Wake up! There's no food in the house, remember? That's why we didn't eat yesterday in the first place!... Nii-San?... WAKE UP!"
Madara rose in an angry huff and stomped over to the dresser. He pulled on a pair of boxers and some sweat pants, then looked back at the bed to see Izuna laying lazily on top of the covers, completely nude, watching him get dressed.
"What?" The elder asked.
"You're very attractive."
Madara frowned. "Otouto, you've been seeing me naked for longer than either of us can remember, and you've been doing... things... to my naked body since you were fifteen years old. Certainly it isn't that big of a deal now that you're twenty-five. Just get up and get dressed so we can go find you some damn food and go back to sleep."
"It doesn't matter how many times I see it. You're still just as sexy as you ever were before. And it still turns me on, but right now I need to eat, so I guess I can stand to ignore my arousal for a short while."
After deducing that there were no grocery stores or markets open, and no food in the house at all the brother's decided to go steal a midnight snack from Fugaku's fridge (something they'd been doing since childhood)
When they got there, Madara stealthily snuck into the kitchen, only to have Izuna knock over a can of artichoke hearts a moment later and blow their cover.
"Who's there?" Fugaku called menacingly.
"It's just us, Baka! You can take your big girl panties off now!" Izuna called back, picking up the artichoke hearts and sniffing them experimentally before scrunching up his nose in distaste and placing them back on the counter.
"What are you two doing in my kitchen?" Fugaku asked, storming in angrily with a bat in hand ready for combat incase Izuna was being forced to lie and he was actually being robbed by expert criminals... This was of course not the case, so he dropped the bat after turning on the lights and confirming that the trespassers were just his mischievous little cousins.
"Izuna was hungry so-"
"So little Zuzu-chan and Mada-Chan are up to their food-thieving ways again, huh?"
"Fugaku, I didn't tolerate you calling me Zuzu when I was five, and I'm not going to answer to that now either."
Chugga-Chugga-Chugga-Chugga!
Chugga-Chugga-Chugga-Chugga!
Chugga-Chugga-Chugga-Chugga!
Choo! Choo!
Fugaku raised an eyebrow.
"What's that?"
"It's my phone... hold on, I know it's in my pocket somewhere..." Izuna replied, fishing threw the baggy pockets of his sweat-pants.
"Since when is your ringtone a train?" Madara asked curiously.
"Your ass WOULD have some weird train sound as a ringer..." Fugaku added.
"Actually, cousin, it only makes the train sound if one of your sons is calling." Izuna commented pointedly. Madara immediately began to shake with silent laughter as Izuna answered the phone.
"Hello?... No it's fine, I'm awake...I'm in your kitchen...where are you?"
"THEY'RE NOT HOME?" Fugaku asked angrily, clearly having not realized that his son's were out so late.
"Where? Why the fuck are you at-... oh. Where's Itachi?"
"I'm right here. What's going on?"
Izuna looked up as his nephew walked into the room and smiled flirtatiously at the teen. Itachi ignored his forwardness and reached for the phone, but Izuna scurried backwords, not allowing him to get hold of it.
"Maa, Itachi-Kun. You don't snatch from your elders. I suggest you learn some manners, but if not, I'd be delighted to tame you myself." Madara said with a grin.
"What's wrong with Sasuke?" Was Itachi's only reply.
"Nothing. He's safe." Izuna said with a sly grin, then into the phone: "I'll be there in just a moment Sasuke-Chan. I'm just bringing some food, is there anything you want?..." Izuna moved over towards the fridge. "Uh huh... there's two, do you want the one next to the ramen or under the Tupperware of Miso soup?... Okay... okay... nah, I can microwave it when I get there... mmhm... Ja Ne."
"Where is he?" Itachi asked.
"He's one-hundred percent safe, I promise. If you want to be of service, then pass me a can of tomato soup from the cupboard while I try and wrestle with this damned Tupperware... Mada-Nii, can you get me a TV dinner from the deep freezer downstairs?"
"Sure... what kind?"
"Steak and mashed potatoes if they have it, if not then anything with red meat is fine."
"THIS IS NOT A DINER! WHERE IS MY SON!"
Everyone looked up at Fugaku in shock, clearly they'd all forgotten that he was even in the room.
Mikoto walked groggily into the kitchen. Her husbands yelling had woken her. She looked around for a second. "Everyone calm down. Back to bed now. All of you." She said it sweetly, but at the same time everyone knew she meant business. Itachi and Fugaku stalked angrily back to bed and Madara and Izuna took the food and ran, laughing, back to their own house. Where they found Sasuke waiting on the front porch.
"How is it that we managed to miss each other in passing?" Madara asked when he noticed that Sasuke's mystery location was actually he and Izuna's house.
"Both of us were sneaking." Izuna answered, unlocking the front door and letting his brother and nephew inside. He kicked off his shoes and went straight to the kitchen, not returning until he had his TV dinner all warmed up and ready for him to eat.
Then, he walked back into the sitting room, plopped down on his brother's lap and started enjoying the half-ass meal that he'd been so hungry for. Madara wrapped his hands around his brother from behind and kissed his neck affectionately before relaxing in the chair and looking towards Sasuke.
"So what brings you here at three in the morning?"
"I've decided that tomorrow is the day."
"What day?" Izuna asked, although it came out more like "vutt bay?" because his mouth was full.
"The day I'm going to fuck my brother."
"Oh. That day." Madara replied nonchalantly. "Is that all?"
"Well, if things don't work out, tomorrow is also the beginning of the last month of school. So I wanted to know if Uncle Izuna's offer still applies."
"Buff coose ish dush."
"What?"
Izuna swallowed and tried again. "Of course it does." He repeated.
Sasuke looked over at Madara's face. The elder gave an approving nod, which was the actual confirmation Sasuke was looking for.
He sighed and got up. "Alright, well I suppose that if you just stole that TV dinner from my house it means that you managed to wake Itachi even though I gave him sleeping pills before I left and he now knows where I am, right?"
"Yes to the first bit, no to the last. He knows of your absence, but not your location."
Sasuke smiled. "I hope he's even angrier than he was last time..." He mumbled to himself.
Izuna chuckled, knowing exactly what his nephew meant behind those words.
Sasuke smiled back. The next day, he'd top his brother. If he liked it, then no one had to know he'd ever done it, he'd claim that he hadn't and in a mere month, he'd fuck that sly little smirk right off of his uncles face.
He grinned, thinking it to be a very clever plan. Little did he know, almost everyone was already in on it. Everyone that is, except for a certain weasel, and said weasel was NOT going to be happy to find out...
A/N: Too Short, I know. Drive a stake through my heart later, but first REVIEW!
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-Beloved