I Turned America Into a Teenage Girl

This might just be my favorite chapter yet. Just saying. Maybe. All I know is that I was sitting in my dorm room, laughing hysterically while I typed. My roommates might think I'm insane. xD But that's okay!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HETALIA OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS!

"America? Is something wrong?" England asked, a genuinely concerned look on his face. Now the British man was seriously worried. It was late morning and America had a plate of three Big Macs with fries set in front of him. He was not even eating them. He just sat at the table, his head in his hands with his eyes closed. When America didn't eat his McDonald's, something was very, very wrong.

"No, I'm fine, Iggy," America mumbled, giving a small shake of his head. "It's nothing."

England frowned. "Nothing? You do realize that there is greasy McDonald's crap sitting right in front of you and you're not even eating it? You never turn down McDonald's."

"Seriously, Iggy. It's nothing. Just...my stomach's kinda bothering me. I'll eat later, okay?"

"Your stomach? Are you sick?" The older nation stood from his eat and walked over to America, placing his hand against his forehead to check for a fever. "Hm, you don't feel feverish."

America shook his head. "No, I don't feel sick. I feel fine. It's just my stomach really hurts. It woke me up in the middle of the night last night."

"Is it appendicitis?"

"No, it's not that. I know it isn't."

"Huh, true. If it were that, you'd probably be in a lot more pain," England murmured. "Maybe you ate something?"

America paused to think for a moment before nodding once. "Maybe," he agreed. "That could be it. Ugh, I gotta go to the bathroom." He shot a glare at England as he stood up. "I hate you for this. Do you know how fucking awkward this is for me to go the bathroom now? I'm scared to shower!"

England ignored the dirty look and shrugged. "Just close your eyes when you take a shower. You'll need one very soon."

"Oh, shut up," America grumbled as he went up the stairs. England returned to calmly sipping his fourth cup of tea that morning.

That was when things got a whole lot...well, England wasn't sure what word to use here. Something like 'freakier' or 'more awkward' or just 'fucked up'. Something along those lines.

Anyways, England jumped and almost fell out of his chair when he heard America's shriek from upstairs. "IGGGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYY! OH MY GOD, IGGGGYYYYYYY!" Thinking that his former colony was being murdered or something, the Englishman jumped out of his chair, knocking it back, raced up the stairs, and kicked down the bathroom door with surprising strength. Luckily, America had pulled on his jeans before he did so.

"What's going on!" he demanded, looking around. He grunted when America lunged at him and clung to him, sobbing hysterically.

"Iggy! Oh my god! Oh my fucking god!" America cried. "Iggy, I'm bleeding!"

"What? Where! How bad is it?"

"I'm bleeding! From places that shouldn't be bleeding!" the American whined. "And it seems pretty bad! Iggy, I'm gonna fucking die!" He started sobbing harder.

England blinked, processing this. "Um," he began, closing his eyes. "'Places that shouldn't be bleeding'?"

"You know! Like,...down...down there," America whispered, his cheeks glowing red.

England's face also reddened. "Um, well, America, you're...you're not dying."

"I'm not?"

"No. You, uh, you...I think you got your, er, period."

"...My what?"

"Bloody hell! Don't make me say it again, git!"

"But I don't understand!"

About an hour and a half later, the doorbell rang.

"Finally!" England groaned, jumping up off the couch and answering it. He opened the front door to come face to face with a grinning Seychelles carrying a bag in one hand and a fish in the other. "What took you so long?"

"Hey, England, how are you?" Seychelles muttered, rolling her eyes and walking into the house without an invitation. "I'm fine, thanks."

England scowled and shut the door, following the young girl. "Did you bring the things I asked for?"

"Yep!" Seychelles answered, smiling proudly. She held out the bag towards England and gave him a suspicious look as he snatched the bag out of her hand. "Funny though, I'm not sure what you'd need these things for..."

"Hey, Iggy! Who was at the door?" America asked, coming into the room. Seychelles turned around, facing America. Her jaw dropped and her eyes went wide.

"Oh...my...god!" the young island gasped. "What the heck! How-?"

"Iggy used magic on me," America stated bluntly, giving the Brit an annoyed glare.

"It was an accident!" England protested.

"Is this why you asked for this stuff..?" Seychelles asked, blinking her brown eyes. A smirk began to crawl across her face, a smirk very similar to France's when he started thinking about certain things.

"It's time for you to get going, girl," England growled, grabbing Seychelles by the wrist and dragging her out the front door as she tried fighting against him. "Have a safe trip home!" he called, slamming the door shut before she could leap back inside. He then locked it just to be safe. When he turned around, he was facing an annoyed America with his arms crossed over his chest and his blue eyes narrowed. "What now?"

"I told you I didn't want anyone to know about this, Iggy," America said, scowling. "And you go and call up Seychelles! Now she freakin' knows!"

"Relax," the Brit sighed. "Seychelles is a good girl, she won't tell anyone. Besides, I needed some things." He pulled out a book for teen girls from the bag and held it out for America. "Here. This'll help you while you're a female. It explains everything about hormones and periods and all that crap. It's your bible from now on."

"Woo-hoo..." the American was trying so hard not to sound thrilled.

"And this..." England blushed deeply as he pulled out a box of tampons. America blushed as well when he saw the box in England's hand. "Well...you'll figure it out on your own."

"Iggy, I hate you so fucking much."

"I know."

Seychelles was giggling to herself as she skipped back to her home. America had been magically transformed into a girl? Oh, this was too much! She knew of one person that would get quite a kick out of this. Pulling out her cell phone, the girl dialed a number and waited for an answer.

"Bonjour. France speaking."

"Hey, France. It's Seychelles."

"Ah! Ma petite Seychelles! How are you, ma cherie?"

"Fine," Seychelles replied. "Guess what? You'll never believe what I just witnessed. England called me over to his house earlier, asking me to bring him a few things."

"Angleterre?" France asked, slightly annoyed that England had called up his Seychelles.

"Yes," she said. "He asked me to bring him one of those growing up teen girl books and tampons."

France blinked, nearly dropping one of his delicious biscuits on the floor. "What..? Pourquoi?"

Seychelles smirked. "Oh, it gets even better. I went over there with said items, and I saw something quite amusing."

"Do tell, ma cherie."

"America is a teenage girl."

France started choking on his biscuit. After coughing and sputtering, the Frenchman regained his composure and cleared his throat before speaking again. "Amerique est une fille?"

"Oui. Apparently England hit him with a spell and that's what happened."

A sly grin spread across France's face. It was his trademark smile, both charming and devious at the same time. The other nations knew to run away when they saw this look on France's face. "Well then, perhaps it is time I paid dear Angleterre and Amerique a visit, non?" he chuckled.

And that is that for this chapter! I wanted to bring in Seychelles because I never really used her in a fic before, so I wanted to give her a try. I'm sorry if I failed at her character, don't kill me! Dx But yeah, now France knows about America's current predicament! *gasp* Yeah, I'm bringing him in because only France, the country of love and romance, knows how to spice things up here! xD More to come soon!

Read and review please! Reviewers get free pasta~! :3