For Better or Worse
Had it not been who it was standing across the room from her, Amanda would have been convinced this was a very bad joke. But no, it was Sarek and he didn't joke. At least not like this, he didn't. He meant what he was saying. She swallowed back a fresh wave of tears trying to escape. "Sarek, you can't mean it."
He was behind his desk again, sitting down. "And why can I not?"
"I'm disgraced! Dishonored! You can't marry a dishonored woman!"
He was relieved her reason wasn't that she simply didn't wish to bond with him. "Amanda, your conviction on my world would mean nothing. Especially since you would have the misfortune of being confined to my home for large tracks of time given the state of things since the biological attack by the Rihan Empire on my world, but my property is large enough that you would have space to wander at your leisure. As a result you would have to put up with no one seeing you in a negative light."
"That's not good enough, Sarek," she said. "I can't allow you to tie yourself to a woman like me. And for what? Because you don't want to see me become a prisoner?"
He looked across at her. She had no conception of what she would be doomed to without his protection. And if he were entirely honest with himself he had no desire to think of her being used callously by anyone. And then full honesty hit him. He had no desire to see Amanda with anyone else but himself. It was not logical, but it was true. No, she would not leave his office today without agreeing to marry him. "Is your answer 'no'?"
She swallowed. "I could never turn you down. I only wish you would reconsider for your own good."
"Then your answer is 'yes'?"
"What about your clan mother, T'Pau? What will she say?"
"I will deal with her wrath if need be. Who I bond with is for me to say, no one else. I am at an age now where I can pick my own mate. And to be honest, there are no females left on Vulcan for me to choose from. There is something you must understand. There is no time to go into it at this time, but Vulcan males must marry. We must. It is imperative to our survival not only as a race, but as individuals."
She didn't know what he was driving at but she jumped at the chance. "All right then. I'll do it."
"Since that has been settled, we must carry it out now, this very instant."
"Now? How?" she asked. He stood, came around his desk again and sat in the chair directly next to her. As he turned to face her, he was about to lift his hands to place his fingers on the proper psi points when she shrank back from him in horror. "No!"
"Amanda?" He'd never seen that look on her face. "What is the matter?"
She nodded, more than afraid. "The device they used on me to find out who I was working with, it hurt me- in my mind. I don't know how to explain it. But it hurt so much… I could feel it inside my head looking around and something inside hasn't been right ever since. I've had this constant underlying headache that won't leave."
He was reaching out now to take her hands into his. He'd never done so in the years they'd known one another. Terran females mixing with males of other races was quite taboo. (Not that it didn't happen!) He found it ironic that there were brothels planet-wide with alien females for the Terran males to sample, but they did not want their females even being touched by an alien even by accident. They wished to maintain purity of blood and species. But she was his now. At least she almost was. "Amanda, let me meld with you. I can fix the damage that has been inflicted on your mind, and then we must bond. Any healer that sees your records can confirm your connection to me in an instant just by a light touch of their hand to your face. It will give you concrete protection," he reassured her.
She swallowed, afraid of what this would do to her. It caused her to grasp his hand back almost tightly. "It won't hurt?" she asked.
"It will not hurt you. I will not hurt you," he promised. "Do you trust me?"
After what he had become to her over the years she could honestly say, "Yes. I trust you more than the members of my own family."
"Then it is only appropriate that you allow me to become your husband. Allow me to touch your mind, Amanda," he whispered as his fingers teased the underside of her hand.
She felt a shiver go down her back from the way his fingers were stroking the palm of her hand. But it wasn't fear this time. She liked his touch. "Yes," she found herself saying. "Do it now before I lose my nerve."