Chapter 4: Releasing the Phoenix
As a tea seller, Mai's mother didn't like the idea of drinking. Not just because it was bad for the liver, it also made people do silly things without a clear head to think.
But today, Mai was standing in front of a bar, with an over-sized jacket that covered her entire shirt and part of her jeans. The music was blaring and she could hear it even outside the bar. She cringed when she wondered how loud it would be inside, if she even gets to enter.
"The bar's booked." A man with loads of tattoo on his arms and legs stopped Takigawa, who was the one responsible in dragging Mai all the way from the bridge and to this bar. "Off limits to outsiders."
"I'm not an outsider." Takigawa smirked and rolled up his sleeve, clearing showing a phoenix tattoo that Mai found very familiar. She widened her eyes when she recalled that girl they saw on the bridge a few days ago.
With a curt nod, the man stood aside and let him in while Takigawa urged Mai to go in too. She swallowed hard, unsure but still followed.
"Hold it, who's she?" The man stepped in again.
"A friend of mine."
He narrowed his eyes at Takigawa before moving his gaze over at Mai. She tried to stand still, her chest puffed out as much as possible as she sharpened her eyes. It would do no help if she smile. Cuteness wouldn't aid her at this moment.
"Fine. Go in."
Takigawa gave a gratitude pat on the guard's shoulder and gestured Mai in once again. She nodded, taking in one last breath of fresh air before entering the bar, which smelt of beer and faint stench of vomit.
They settled themselves down at a corner of the busy bar and ordered their drinks in order to blend in with the crowd. Mai was tapping her toes impatiently at the counter and only until the bartender gave them their drinks and would leave them in peace, she began to empty out her curiosity firing within her.
"Since when did you get that tattoo?" She shouted over the loud music, even so, her voice seemed as soft as a whisper.
He gave a grin. "Three hours ago."
Mai blinked. "You joined their, uh... Phoenix gang, or something?"
"Nope."
"Huh?"
"It's fake; Erasable tattoo. It's easy to get a replica anywhere when the design is so simple. This is just a disguise to get us in here."
"You sounded almost like someone I know." Mai tried not to roll her eyes as she stirred her untouched cocktail, interrupting the stillness of her drink. It had been exactly three days since she last contacted that narcissistic investigator, and he didn't contact her either. Maybe that was better. All she lost was simply a box of black tea.
Takigawa raised an eyebrow. "Do I?"
"Anyway," She waved him off. "Why did you drag me here for?"
"I'm curious about your mother."
Mai gave a blank look.
"No. Not that kind of curious. I got some lead regarding her death."
She straightened her posture and leaned forward. "What? What lead? What are you talking about?"
"Relax." He pat her down and she settled back on her seat, only to realize she was so agitated that she had practically lifted herself from the chair. "Yesterday I came in here to enjoy a beer and I heard something interesting after snooping around. But I got kicked out because the bar was reserved for the gang. That's why I slipped in with the tattoo this time and make sure I can stay."
"So? What is the thing that got to do with my mother?"
Takigawa sighed. "You're going to gain unnecessary attention to yourself if you continue to be so agitated."
Mai slumped back onto her seat again. "What you're going to say, it's important to me."
"I know. The problem is, I didn't finish hearing the story or the information that I wanted to know about your mother's death, that's why I'm back here. Get it?" He took a big gulp of his drink. "I brought you here because, well, why not?"
She raised a hand, suddenly unclear about every single thing that happened for the past ten minutes they were in here. "My mother fell off the bridge. How the hell is this bar, or this Phoenix gang got to do with it?"
Her questions weren't answered when Takigawa suddenly left his seat with a stupid smile on his face. Her eyes were on him the entire time, until it lead to a woman who was sitting a few seats away from Mai. She stared at the man in horror, totally not believing that he started to engage a conversation with that woman out of the blue. Did he just left her in the middle of their conversation, alone at this stinky bar, to pick up some women here? Did he seriously just did that?!
Mai was beginning to rage. She instantly left her seat too and stomped her way towards the couple.
"Oh Bou-san, don't make me laugh!" The woman chortled behind the back of her manicured hands and lay it onto Takigawa's chest.
His eyes twinkled. "Your laughter's the thing that makes me laugh."
Even with Takigawa's huge jacket hung over her shoulders, one reason was to keep her from the cold and the other to hide her stupid clothes so she could slip into the bar ore easily, Mai still shivered. It had nothing to do with the temperature but more of how the two were interacting so... Mai shook her head before she stepped forward and interrupted the two. She didn't mean to spoil Takigawa's potential love life or anything, but he could do it after Takigawa finish what he wanted to tell her.
"Takigawa-"
"This is Mai, a friend of mine." He pulled her in and smiled over at the lady. "Mai, this is Kyoko."
Kyoko laughed. "I almost thought you're going to introduce me your daughter."
His smirk grew bigger. "I'm still single."
Mai shrugged off his arm that was placed around her and glared at him. "We're not done talking." She hissed.
"We haven't, neither are we." Takigawa looked over at Kyoko. "Remember that time when we were talking about that girl named Tamaka? I want to know more about her."
Kyoko glimpsed at Mai before giving a playful smile. "Do you have some fetish for young girls?"
"Maybe, but not until I met you."
Mai was beyond horrified to even continue hearing this conversation. She was about to give up and slip out of the bar when she felt a grip on her arm, fixating her back to her position. She glanced up at him, completely annoyed but he appeared nonchalant at his doing.
Kyoko curled up her lips and set an arm on the counter. "That reminds me, how do you get in? You're clearly not part of the Phoenix gang." She cast a glance over at Mai as well. "I highly doubt you are too."
Her chocolate brown eyes widened a little. Mai didn't expect her guess of the name for the gang to be correct. Maybe it was her luck. Or maybe the leader was as naive as her to think up of such a cliché name like this. She tried to hide the smile that was about to spread across her cheeks.
"There're certain ways to do it... but why don't you look past it for this time?" Takigawa picked up his glass of beer and clinked it against Kyoko's drink and took a sip. Kyoko responded with the same, silently agreeing to his request.
"Tamaka, huh?" Kyoko started.
"Yes. Tamaka. You mentioned that she had suicidal thoughts?"
Mai was completely lost. Who the hell was Tamaka anyway? And suicidal thoughts? What on earth was going on?
"She's a rich ass kid, but her parents don't spend enough time with her." She shrugged before pointed a finger at her head. "That's why she's a little mental and depressed here."
At the correct moment, Kyoko was called by a friend as she spun around on her seat to return the greeting. Mai took the chance and nudged Takigawa in his ribs, pulling him down a little so she could speak into his ear.
"Explain."
"Tamaka is that girl we met on the bridge. Remember her?"
"I remember. And so what?"
On the cue, Kyoko turned to face them again and Takigawa's smile was plastered back on his face. Mai inwardly glowered.
"So because she's depressed, she seek comfort here?" He continued.
Kyoko shook her head. "More like creating trouble. She joined the gang under some influence from her friends, but as time goes by, she got into fights with everyone and she's basically a loner. The only reason she's not kicked out is because of how rich and convenient she is."
"Convenient." Takigawa prompted.
"Convenient as in, you know..." Kyoko raised her glass and took a sip, letting the loud blasting music to fill in the short silence. "Her body."
"Ah."
Mai couldn't understand how Takigawa could just reply an Ah with this answer. Convenient? How convenient was this? It was basically inhuman. Mai clenched her teeth tightly together. She wasn't sure if she opens her mouth, what kinds of words would spill out. Instead, she decided to take the role of that silent side-character, just like the day when she visited Satoshi's office with Naru.
"But her depression didn't come from the gang and how we made use of her; she accepted that fact and stayed." Kyoko sighed. "It was more like she wanted to piss her parents off and she got depressed because they still didn't give a damn."
"Are you her best friend?" Takigawa asked. "It's like you know a lot about her."
"Don't you know?" She raised her glass of beer and swirled it around. "Every secrets come out from this."
"Wise words." He winked and the woman chuckled. All Mai could do was to shudder. She always though she made friends easily, but now, she concluded she was nowhere near Takigawa's standard if there was really a need to be this sociable.
.o.
As they were heading to the direction of the bridge with the sky above them littered with stars, Mai's ears were still ringing from the loud music in the bar. Her drink remained untouched the entire time, though Takigawa foot the bill for her. She wasn't being particular about guys paying the bill for girls or such things, but embarrassed to say, she simply didn't have enough money on her even if she wanted to pay for her drink.
"So," Mai began. "You're saying that Tamaka might be involved in my mother's death?"
"One thing's clear is that she have suicidal thoughts." Takigawa nodded to himself. "It means she tried to committed suicide before."
"I've been to school before." Mai drawled. "You don't have to explain what suicidal thoughts mean."
"Then does your mother ever have suicidal thoughts?"
She lowered her eyes to the ground she walked on. "She's always happy, to me. Maybe it's all an act. I'm... not sure."
Takigawa nodded again. "But usually people don't commit suicide successfully the first time, do they?"
"You-" Mai pursed her lips before she lowered her voice. "You can't just stereotype people like that."
"I'm not exactly stereotyping. People with suicidal thoughts displayed symptoms that proved they have suicidal thoughts. And it takes a lot of courage to even have one." He stroked his chin. "Now that I think about it, it's pretty ironic. Having courage to face death more than facing life."
Mai cast a wary glance over the taller man. "You seemed very educated at this."
"This isn't my first time meeting these kind of people."
"What?"
He just showed a toothy grin. "Well, I've meet a lot of people."
"Oh, really?" She faked an impressed look. Mai suddenly recalled how he handled the conversation in the bar. If that was his style, she really didn't know how to be amazed about it.
Takigawa simply nodded his head and tucked his hands into his jacket, which Mai returned to him once they were a distance away from the bar. "Also, according to the police files-"
"Wait, what?" Mai blinked a few times. "Police files? You can read the police files? Are you a police?"
"Close enough."
"Close enough?"
"Anyway," Takigawa cleared his throat. "According to the police files, Tamaka actually was sent to a police station, not far from the bridge because she sort of fainted there."
Mai gave a skeptical look over at Takigawa. The more time she spent with this man, the more questions were popping in her mind. Still, she decided to listen to what he had to say.
"Fainted. And then?"
"Tamaka wasn't fainted any day. She fainted on the night when your mother jumped, or rather, fell from the bridge."
She stopped on her track. "What do you mean? And how sure are you, based on what you read in the police files?"
Takigawa snorted. "I'm 101 percent sure. The only thing I'm doubtful is about the fainting part. Furthermore, the bar is not too far from the bridge."
Mai grunted and they began walking again. "And your point is?"
"When in doubt, you should ask yourself more questions to get the answers." Takigawa smirked.
"Huh?"
"Why did she faint at the bridge? Was she too drunk? Why was she there in the first place?" He then snapped his fingers. "Is she trying to commit suicide? Then why didn't she succeed? What caused her to fail?"
She wasn't really buying what this flirt, drinker and a person who simply said Ah after knowing a poor girl's body was being used said. For the past hour, Mai suddenly wasn't even sure what convinced her to follow him to that stinky bar in the first place. Maybe it was her gut that told her to, but the past two hours was clearly wasted for her. She sighed inwardly, not until her brows furrowed at what she saw.
"Takigawa." Mai muttered as she pointed at the bridge not far from where they were. Just another three minute of walk and they would reach it. "Is that Tamaka?"
"Really? That's even better. No need to waste my time in tracking her down now."
She frowned, not at what he said but at what she noticed. "T-There's something wrong about the way she stand though."
They squinted their eyes in the night, which widened in the next split second when they realized why her position looked weird.
Tamaka, was standing by the bridge. Not before the railing, but after the railing with nothing to support her if she fall forward.
"Shit!" Mai blurted and she dashed, leaving Takigawa behind. Noticing he wasn't by her side, she spun around to see him waving his arm around vigorously while shouting at whoever that answered his call in a second. When Mai thought he may be calling the police, she continued to sprint towards the bridge, leaving him to catch up with her later.
There was no time to waste.
"Tamaka!" She exclaimed while she ran, hoping to catch the girl's attention. Mai needed to reach her before the latter made a move. There was no way in hell she was going to let her second mistake to be repeated.
Mai was definitely going to stop her from falling.
"Tamaka!" Mai yelled again when she finally managed to the bridge and where Tamaka was.
She spun her head around and her face reflected horror. "Why are you here?!"
"Don't do anything reckless." Mai lifted both hands and gave a calming gesture. "There's always a solutions for every matter."
"Save your breath." Tamaka snarled. "Enough of those useless talks. Just leave me alone already. You know nothing about me!"
"Maybe not everything," Mai breathed out her words carefully. "But that doesn't mean this is the only way."
"You wouldn't be saving me if you know that-"
"How can I not save you? There's no reason for you to die-"
"I could have died last time!" She screamed. "But your mother, she..." Tamaka paused and shut her eyes, as though she was in pain.
Mai could feel her blood froze in her veins. She wasn't prepared to hear about her mother involvement in this situation. Not now, or ever. When Tamaka showed no sign of continuing her sentence, Mai took a step forward, even ignoring Tamaka's threatening glare to jump.
"Is she trying to commit suicide? Then why didn't she succeed? What caused her to fail?"
Takigawa's words began echoing in Mai's mind and her eyes wavered. "What did my mother do?" She whispered. A shiver went down her spin and she was suddenly afraid of hearing the answer to her question.
Tamaka bit her lips and turned away, letting her back face Mai. "Don't get yourself involved with me."
There was no way Tamaka got to do with her mother's death, right? She thought Takigawa was spouting nonsense and didn't bother to register what he told her at all. But now, with a few steps and a railing that separated both of them, Mai felt like it was a distance between the truth and dark. All along, she couldn't get anything and all she had been doing was relying on people to do things for her in order for her to reach the truth... Now as the truth seemed to be right in front of her, Mai felt darker instead.
Her hands began trembling. At that moment, Takigawa finally rushed to her side before his attention was fixated at Tamaka instead.
"Hey." He said between his pants. "Don't do it, alright. Seriously. Don't make my favorite hideout a jumping zone for you people."
"My mother..." Mai mumbled again before her eyes hardened at Tamaka. "What did my mother do?!" She cried out.
This was the answer she was searching for. And as each second ticked by and with Tamaka inching closer and closer away from the railings and off the bridge, Mai felt like she was going to lose everything again.
Takigawa was about to pull Mai back. "Don't-" He tried to warn, but she was faster. Mai was already climbing over the railing and steadying herself on the small space that was just nice for her two feet to stand.
"Don't come closer!" Tamaka yelled.
"Are you insane?!" Takigawa bellowed.
Both words were directed to Mai, but she didn't care for either. Her eyes were only on Tamaka, who was struggling to move away from her. But Mai took a greater step towards her and in the next second, she was by her side.
"Tell me." Mai gritted her teeth. "What did my mother do?"
"She's doing exactly what you're doing now!" Tamaka screamed back in her face. "She's trying to save me, but I refused her pity. I refused her-"
"Mai. Tamaka." Takigawa's voice was now low and deep. "Come down and talk. Don't do it there. Come down."
"So you refused my mother and pushed her down?!"
"I didn't!"
"Mai, Tamaka! Please come down."
"Then why did my mother fell?!"
"She tried to save me, I struggled and she might have slipped-"
It was like a magic word, or rather a taboo word that shouldn't have been said. Right when that word left her lips, Tamaka's legs did the exact same thing and Mai managed to widen her eyes just in time to see her falling forward. Mai could have watched the entire time, but her hands moved on its own before her brain could register anything.
She caught Tamaka's arm with one hand, while the other was clutching onto the railings. She squinted her eyes and gritted her teeth in pain as the weight was pulling her down and she could feel body splitting into two. She was about to give up and let something go, but her heart couldn't choose Tamaka and she decided on the railings. It was selfish of her, but her mind and pain couldn't resist anymore. Before she could put her choice into actions, Takigawa already managed to grab hold onto Mai's arm, while the other was stretched out to Tamaka, who was dangling below Mai.
"Try to reach out for my hand, hurry!" He hollered, desperate.
Tamaka didn't even have the time to argue or say any word. She reached out and took Takigawa's hand.
At that instant, Mai could feel Takigawa's strength in holding her arms slipped a little and her feet automatically gave way as she fell down too.
"Shit!" She heard him cursed.
Mai bawled and Tamaka yelped. That was the only plea they could muster to say. Now Takigawa was standing by the bridge, with each of his arm clutching tightly onto Mai and Tamaka respectively. And with each seconds that ticked by, Mai could feel his strength growing weaker and weaker.
Takigawa was blurring from Mai's point of view and she wondered if this was a sign when she was on the way to heaven. She blinked once and then realized it wasn't the case. Takigawa was still there, now cleared from any blurriness after all the tears that were gathered in her eyes rolled down her cheeks.
Was she going to die? Mai didn't want to die. She had lots of things she hadn't done and she couldn't leave now. Not like this.
'I can't die now. I can't die now.'
This wasn't her choice, or anyone's choice to pick.
"Oi!"
Mai blinked, the image of Takigawa became clear to her again. It was only at the moment then she knew he wasn't shouting at her, or Tamaka.
He was glancing back at his shoulder.
"I-I can't hold on much longer!" Takigawa yelled, his face contorted in pain that made Mai's heart hurt for him. Maybe she should let go and let him focus his strength in pulling Tamaka up instead. She had a family, and she had none. Nobody would cry for her if she fall. So maybe, just maybe she did have a choice after all.
Closing her eyes and sucking in a deep breath, she tentatively released her grip and let go entirely at the next split second. Mai was expecting the wind slapping against her face, her body hitting against water and filling her lungs. She felt none of those, but a strong grip clutching tightly to her arm instead.
Mai widened her eyes and more tears sprang out like waterfall.
Naru managed a smirk, but there was some force in it. She felt his hand tightening around her arm.
"D-Do you think I'll let you get away with the ¥1.5 million you owed me, just like that?"
She could only continue her sobs.
With Naru's presence, Mai felt a little hope bubbling within her chest. She felt herself being lifted and pulled and before she knew it, she was already kneeling on all fours on the floor of the bridge, tears and sweat all over her face. Next to her and lying on the ground was Takigawa, with Tamaka sitting against the railings with her face in both of her hands.
And then there was Naru.
Clad in black again, he was the only one standing, high and mighty like how he presented himself all the other times she saw him. Under the dim light, Mai could see him panted a little, even if he was trying his best to cover it up by letting his back face the rest.
She shut her eyes and lowered her head.
"You guys alright?" Takigawa rasped.
No one replied, but Mai nodded. This was the only thing she could do.
"Mai."
She raised her head and stared at Naru who was staring at no one but her.
"Don't do that again."
He didn't clarify what, but then there wasn't a need. Mai was too reckless, too emotional and almost risked her life and Tamaka's for climbing over the railing, for acting all on her own, for trying to let everything go- Everything she did was wrong, especially making that choice in sacrificing herself at the end. If Naru was just a second late, or if she made the decision a second earlier, Mai wouldn't have the chance to regret all of the things she did.
She wondered if her mother knew of her mistakes she made, would she still be able to forgive her at all?
.o.
Mai sat on a couch in the SPR office, with Tamaka sitting across her and surrounding them were Naru and everyone she met for the past two weeks since her mother's death; John, Ayako, Lin and even Takigawa.
With a warm cup of comforting tea in her head, Tamaka explained everything in between her sobs and everyone listened without a word of interruption.
It was her birthday and she was utterly depressed about her existence and that she shouldn't have been born. Tamaka hated herself and wanted all to end that night, only until when Mai's mother suddenly called out for her when she was on the verge of falling off the bridge any second.
"Come down, don't end everything like this!"
"I've lost everything and I thought of ending things your way too. But I want to live for my daughter and I realized how selfish I was when I considered ending my life at all. There's got to be something you want to live for, right?"
"Please, listen to me."
Tamaka remembered how she struggled, how she refused to be saved, how she ended up falling backwards instead of forward, how she thought she was expecting a light for the pathway to heaven instead of darkness. The only thing she didn't remember was how she ended up in the police station.
Days passed and she put all of it behind her mind, giving no consideration who that person was since she thought she must have hallucinate the events under the influence of beer. Not until the day when the news mentioned a woman committed suicide and drowned under the bridge.
The woman should have been her.
She could only cry and apologize as her tears of regret continued pouring out like rain. Everyone seemed to feel like they didn't have the authority to step in, except for Mai, who was already making her way to Tamaka as she squatted next to the crying girl with her own tears threatening to fall too.
"Don't waste the life my mother exchanged for you." Mai squeezed Tamaka's hand, the very hand that her mother last touched before she fell. "Don't end it like this."
When Tamaka nodded and said her promise, Mai finally felt the strength to smile even with the dried lines of tears cracking against her skin.
Her mother didn't abandon her, and that understanding gave Mai the will to continue living, like what she wanted Tamaka to do too.
Phew. Finally got the tough part done, the one I'm excited about is actually the next chapter
Hope you guys still want to stick with me and this story, reviews are really appreciated!