Chapter Four: To stay in or come out
The Friday before the October half term could not have arrived sooner. It was the first holiday of the year and a much needed rest for the majority of students. Gilbert was awaiting the holidays with massive anticipation, knowing it would not only mean an awesome long rest and lie-ins in the morning, but also some time to actually spend with Arthur and Kiku. It saddened Gilbert as Arthur was his bestie and Kiku a very close friend but they saw very little of each other outside of school (mainly because the two of them were so busy) but the holidays gave them no excuse to not meet up with him!
"So we're meeting up tomorrow, yeah?" Gilbert confirmed for the umpteenth time.
Kiku smiled, "yes, Gilbert," he was proud that he remembered to drop the honoriphic, "we're still meeting up tomorrow."
"Good!" Gilbert smiled from ear to ear, ruffling Kiku's hair. "You doing anything for Halloween?"
"I don't really know... my family don't usually do anything, no. Why?"
"Well Artie's usually big with apple bobbing and stuff like that, and his brother Owain always makes like, the best pumpkin pie in the world. And really good Welsh cakes. He asked me to come around again this year, and he said I could ask you to tag along too if you wanted?"
Kiku quirked an eyebrow at the invitation, interested, "I can't see why Arthur-san might want me there. What about Michelle-san and his other friends?"
"Well you two used to be pretty close, right?" Gilbert smiled, "obviously you don't have to go of course."
Kiku shook his head, "oh no, no, I didn't mean I didn't want to go. On the contrary, it would be... lovely," he nodded, lips twitching at the sides slightly, "yes I'll do my best to be there."
"Oh good!" Gilbert said with a clap, "I'll make sure to tell him!" They paused, neither speaking as they swam in their own thoughts. Suddenly Gilbert asked; "hey, why did you two kinda stop talking?"
Kiku avoided all eye contact, not really wanting to remember about the reason he and Arthur had become so distant in recent months. He still felt a tsunami of guilt hit him every time he remembered it. But perhaps Halloween would allow the two of them to overcome past problems and become close friends again like they once had been.
"It... I'm not sure really," Kiku answered finally, apologising mentally for Gilbert for lying to him.
"Ah well people do drift apart I guess..." Gilbert sighed. After a pause he took a different direction of conversation. "Hey Kiku, you know how I'm into dudes?"
Kiku stiffened, not sure where Gilbert was going with this, "um... y-yes."
"Don't worry, man, I'm not coming on to you or anything. But yeah, I was thinking... I really wanna tell my dad."
"Oh?"
"Yeah... Like I'm his own son and he doesn't even know the real me, y'know? Like, I just want someone that close to me to... know." Gilbert sighed, looking dejectedly at the floor.
Kiku frowned, "I understand. Though, what's stopping you from telling him, Gilbert?"
With a cold chuckle Gilbert sent Kiku a wry smile, "he's a fuckin' homophobe."
"Ah," Kiku sighed, "yes... I can see how that could be a..." he paused, "... problem," was his weak finish.
Gilbert chuckled, ruffling Kiku's hair lightly, "well, at least you're trying to help Kiku. But d'ya reckon I should tell him or...?"
Kiku took a pause before answering, frowning in though. He said eventually, "personally, I wouldn't tell him. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps when you date a boy you feel particularly... fond of, maybe then. But right now, along with exams and other problems like that, I think this is a problem you don't really need to deal with."
"Arthur said pretty much the same thing," Gilbert nodded, "and I agree with you both, if I'm honest. There's just part of me that is being driven insane by having to hide, and I can almost feel it ripping it's self out, wanting to tell everyone in the fucking world. I reckon I'll do it by accident one night over dinner. God it might shock him so much he'll choke. And Ludwig's reaction will be priceless." Gilbert laughed to himself.
"Well I'm glad you can take such a positive outlook to such a glum situation," Kiku turned up the corners of his mouth slightly.
"No point in moping, is there?" Gilbert laughed as the bell rang for the end of break.
"Ayy, it's Francis! Get in there, mate," some random year 10 kid punched Francis lightly on the shoulder as they passed in the corridor. Francis narrowed his eyes at the guy, not gracing him with words of annoyance.
As he continued his walk to PE, he passed a group of girls who glared at him, one even making gagging noises. Francis simply rolled his eyes, glaring at them.
Beside him, Bella and Seychelles peered up at him pityingly. They'd noticed similar behaviour every time they'd walked with Francis through the school today. They had no idea what he had done to be given such attention. By Francis' lack of retaliation, it probably meant he did know what was going on, though he didn't mention anything.
They all got to PE quickly, getting registered and into the changing rooms. The moment Francis swung shut the door of the boys changing rooms, there were grins and sarcastic applause from the majority of the boys. Francis gritted his teeth and held his head up high not giving them the satisfaction of meeting their devilish grins. He strided through to the second, quieter side room, closing the door behind him angrily. Luckily only a few boys were there; Gilbert, Matthew, Kiku, Ludwig and... Arthur. The moment Francis set eyes on him, his jaw tightened, his eyes narrowed and he stormed up to the unknowing boy.
"What the hell have you spread about me and Emma?" Francis demanded, nearly spitting in his fury.
"What!? I haven't spread anything about you and Emma!" Arthur's eyebrows shot up in confused surrender, his face only expressing utter befuddlement.
"You have gone and spread that... I... did..." Francis trailed off, burning with shame and embarrassment at the thought.
"What!?" Arthur repeated again, totally baffled.
"That I... took her virginity! Against her will!" he whispered harshly, clenching his jaw.
Arthur finally managed to get out of Francis grasp, "Francis I have no idea what you're on about! I didn't spread anything about you two! I knew you... nearly had sex, but I didn't tell anyone! I certainly didn't tell anyone you fucking raped her!"
Francis stiffened, "the accusation wasn't that I raped her, Arthur!"
Gilbert intervened here, not liking being totally forgotten about, "I hate to tell you, Francis, but that basically is the definition of rape, man."
Francis' eyes widened, knowing Gilbert was right. He began to feel nauseas, so he shakily sat down, helplessly placing his head in his hands. "People - they - they wouldn't believe that about me, right? No one would believe I would do something like that, would they?" He looked at Arthur and Gilbert frantically, looking petrified.
"I wish I could tell you they wouldn't, but this is school, people believed that the head and a maths teacher banged in one of the pupil bathrooms just last week... I don't really see why this would be much different..." Arthur sighed, forgetting about his false accusation for the time being.
"How could you tell people I did that, Arthur!?" Okay so apparently Francis hadn't forgotten about that.
"I told you, I didn't fucking tell anyone, Francis! You know who you should blame? Your bloody ex girlfriend! Think about it logically Francis; I had no motive to spread that shit about you, and contrary to your beliefs (and what I feel about you right now) I do actually see you as a half-decent friend! Hell even if I hated you as much as I claim to, I wouldn't spread that about anyone! Quite frankly I'm hurt you even suggested that it was me." Arthur had never been more truthful towards Francis, he realised after saying it. He wasn't sure why, but he felt quite proud for actually telling him the truth rather than lying about his feelings.
Gilbert chimed in here, "yeah, Francis, Artie's right. Why would he do that? But seriously you should be blaming, or assuming at the very least, that it was the chick. You broke up on bad terms, right? And she's a bit of an attention seeker. So what will spread shit about you, get her sympathy, and just generally make you look like the bad guy? Her spreading that rumour. It's pretty fucking obvious it was her, man."
Arthur nodded at Gilbert in thanks for the support.
Francis didn't look at either of them and simply shook his head, "no, no she wouldn't do anything like that. No, she just wouldn't!"
"Oh so thanks for putting more faith in your hellish ex girlfriend than your mate," Arthur frowned, "I'm going to wait for Shell and the others outside. See you both in there."
"Hold up Arthur I'm coming with," Gilbert clambered to his feet, running after his friend, leaving Matthew, Ludwig and Kiku staring at Francis, confused and unsure as to what just went on.
Francis sighed, resting his head in his hands before beginning to undo his shirt.
"Cheer up, Francis, I'm sure it'll all blow over soon," Matthew smiled as optimistically as he could.
"Thank you, mon cher, though I am not so sure."
"I can't believe he thought it was me, though!" Arthur complained, pretending to warm up Miss Yates passed, smiling encouragingly at him.
"Ah well you see about that," Michelle looked at him, an awkward half-smile on her face.
"What?" Arthur didn't like where this was going.
"You - you might have to pretend it was you who spilled it," Bella said sheepishly.
"Fuck off! Not likely!" Arthur was confused and outraged at the unfairness of the situation. "Why on earth would I do that?"
"Well you see Shell and I were talking about this just last night..." Bella sighed, Michelle nodded along in earnest. "Francis and Liz aren't on the best of terms right now."
"So!?"
With a dramatic sigh, Michelle spilled the beans, "Liz just told us in the changing rooms that she... may have accidentally told someone that Francis had sex with Emma. And she didn't want it. And that someone may have told someone else... who may have told someone else after that."
"Elizabeta started the rumour and you want me to cover for her." Arthur said flatly, sound so controlled that the two girls were very worried that they'd broken him and he was about to blow up in anger.
Michelle frantically began to try and fix the situation. "Okay, yes it's incredibly unfair on your part we get that! But think of it this way, Arthur. If Francis does find out it was Liz that spilled it, then that tension between them will be shattered like a piece of glass and a huge sledgehammer. The shards will fly everywhere! There will be a giant argument, the whole group could take sides and fall apart for all we know! We need to prioritise keeping things peaceful between the two of them while they fix things between themselves, you know? Please, Arthur, we know we're asking a lot from you, but please."
"We're really scared of everyone starting to hate each other..." Bella added quietly.
Damn it, Arthur cursed to himself. It was that little vulnerable hint in Bella's voice that tugged on his heart strings.
"Okay I'll fucking do it but I do not like this, you two! And don't think I'm going up to Francis and saying 'yo I spilled that shit about you and your ex'. But if he does confront me again... I won't say it was Elizabeta. But I'm not owning up to it, okay! You owe me!"
Bella and Michelle's faces lit up and the two of them threw their arms around Arthur who impatiently tried to shrug them off.
"Thank you, Arthur!" Bella said, her smile stretching from ear to ear. Michelle simply grinned like an idiot.
"Though it is totally bitchy of him to assume it was me over that bitch of an ex of his..." Arthur muttered.
"Now, as lovely as it is to see friends deepening their bonds over god knows what, I put you three in a group together assuming you'd actually do some work, you know." Miss Yates wondered over, frowning at the three.
Busted again, Arthur sighed.
"Sorry, Miss."
"You and Michelle are getting particularly chatty recently, Arthur," she raised an eyebrow, "perhaps you two are more than friends...?" Everyone knew Miss Yates was a sucker for gossip.
"Na, miss, not likely!" came a call from across the hall, where Gilbert stood grinning, "Artie only loves me! Who wouldn't fall for my awesome charm?"
Those who heard looked up from their stretching, laughing at Gilbert's lax attitude before returning to torturing their muscles while stretching.
"Very good, Gilbert," Miss Yates laughed. "Get on with it, all of you!" she left with a grin.
After she left, Arthur buried his face in his hands, "why am I friends with such an idiot...?"
Michelle and Bella only giggled, not giving him an ounce of sympathy.
Lunch time swung around quickly, something Arthur had been awaiting patiently all day and now the time had come his stomach was growling angrily, demanding food.
They all passed out of the canteen, deciding to sit outside as it was an oddly pleasant day for October. It was the usual group; Arthur, Michelle, Bella, Elizabeta, Ludwig and Francis, who was being particularly quiet. Silently choosing a bench furthest away from the noisy swarms of younger children, everyone took their seats at the bench, engaging in light small talk while getting out their food.
Arthur lifted his head up at the perfect moment, his breathing hitching for a slight moment as he saw Alfred pass by the table, obviously on his way to the football field with his friends, like usual. Arthur totally hadn't kept track of where Alfred hung around with his friends
He thought he was the only one who noticed Alfred's presents near them. Apparently not...
"Hey Artie," Elizabeta grinned as Alfred was a safe distance away, "try not to swoon! Shall we go follow them?"
Arthur froze looking at Elizabeta as if she was completely insane. He was starting to wonder if she was! What the hell was she playing at? There was so many things wrong with the thing she'd just said! No he was not bloody swooning! Just because he'd told her about having a liking for a certain American did not mean he had any desire to be reminded of it every time he passed! And, oh shit...
... Not to mention the fact that a certain German was sitting with them...
... A certain German who was homophobic and in the dark about Arthur liking Alfred...
Oh shit.
Ludwig frowned, "Swoon?"
"Where have you been, Ludwig, Arthur fancies Alfred!"
Oh no she did not.
Oh for fuck's sake.
Arthur scanned around the table, luckily Michelle, Bella and Francis all shared his look of bewilderment. So he wasn't going insane then.
Suddenly something seemed to click inside Elizabeta's mind, "Oh, oh shit."
"Yes oh shit." Arthur growled, his voice coated with utter contempt.
Ludwig got to his feet, "... You...?"
Arthur also stood up, thankful for the age difference between him and Ludwig, otherwise Ludwig very well could have been taller than Arthur. "What about me?" Arthur demanded, it was a challenge more than a question.
"You're gay?"
"Well done for putting it together," Arthur sounded a little more unfriendly than he intended to. He was already on guard just knowing what Ludwig's reaction would be.
Sure enough Ludwig's expression turned sour at this confirmation. "Homosexuality is wrong," he said simply.
"Yeah said some church who worship some invisible man in the sky and have popes with a reputation of molesting kids." Arthur spat. Okay this was definitely coming out more unfriendly than he sounded. Oh well, nothing he could do about it now.
Ludwig looked about ready to burst a blood vessel in his forehead, but his expression stayed calm, "that's... you're wrong. What do you know about that? You're just a disgusting gay..." he paused to think of a word to finish the insult.
"Cunt?" Arthur offered 'helpfully'.
"Yes."
"Well I'm sorry but you're going to have to get over that. Or just, you know, go off. Find other friends. Oh but who would want to be friends with the homophobic genius who skipped a year and thinks of himself as oh so much higher than the rest of us lowly humans?"
Ludwig growled very quietly under his breath, "well I'm not the one who's going to fail all my exams and die of AIDs and... go to... hell." He finished weakly.
Oh god he had to work on his insults.
Though saying that, Arthur wasn't exactly great at pulling off 'slick burns' either.
Luckily though, Arthur didn't have to think of anything more to say as Michelle, who was beside herself with anger stood up behind Arthur, quite obviously backing him up.
"Well go on, if you find him so disgusting then just leave!" Michelle said, trying to keep her voice calm, but there was a slight tinge to it which gave it an almost psychotic edge to it.
Ludwig was a little taken aback by this; probably aided by the fact that Michelle was a hell of a lot more intimidating than Arthur.
"Go on! Leave! Or what, are you afraid that there's no one to go to?" Michelle's eyes were narrowed to slits, her tone nastier than Arthur's. "Get the fuck away from us if you think Arthur's so disgusting. You never know, we might have germs, too. Wouldn't want to catch nasty fag germs, would you?"
Stiffening, Ludwig looked ready to reply but was cut off by the bell.
"You got lucky." Michelle growled simply, grabbing Arthur's arm and leading him away, sheepishly followed by Francis, Bella and Elizabeta, none of whom even looked at Ludwig when passing by him.
Gilbert frowned. English was very boring without Arthur beside him to pass notes to. Mr Key called out the register, the usual chime of 'here' called out in reply to the monotonous call of their name.
"Arthur?" when there was no reply Mr Key looked up from his computer, scanning the classroom from behind his dirty glasses.
"He's at the doctor's, sir," Gilbert explained. Mr Key muttered something under his breath, probably a complaint about people having appointments during lessons, and then moved on to the next name.
"Well at least you won't be bothered by him now, Ludwig," Michelle growled under her breath. Gilbert frowned, wondering what was going on behind him. Michelle and Ludwig sat directly behind him, so he could her everything, even when Ludwig shifted in his seat or Michelle tucked a stray bit of hair behind her ear.
"Michelle I'd appreciate it if you let me get on with my work," Ludwig hissed.
"Guess what, Genius-boy? The lesson hasn't even started yet. Not even you could be working. The fact you have the nerve to sit next to me after what happened..." Michelle sounded beyond pissed.
Ludwig scoffed under his breath, "well, Michelle, where do you suggest I sit? Pray tell, because from where I'm sitting there's not a single spare seat in this class."
"Well apart from the one right in front of you. Arthur's not here remember?" Michelle laughed hollowly, "oh wait no, you wouldn't sit there. You could get homo germs on that sorry ass of yours and die of AIDs."
Gilbert swore he could have heard her mutter very quietly something like, "wouldn't that be a relief..."
Wait. Homo germs. AIDs?
Gilbert spun on his chair, brow furrowing, "what's going on with you two?"
Michelle and Ludwig both sent him a look lined with daggers.
"Nothing at all, Gilbert," Ludwig frowned, continuing to write the date neatly in his book.
"What're you talking about?" Michelle said as innocently as she could manage.
Raising an eyebrow apathetically Gilbert sighed, "I'm not stupid, contrary to what most think," he frowned at himself, he was starting to sound like Arthur. "I can hear you both talking about Arthur and 'homo germs'."
Michelle sneered. "Your cunt of a brother was being a homophobic little whiny bitch. Elizabeta goes and spilled the beans about Artie having a thing for Alfred, didn't she?" Gilbert stiffened, "so naturally because I'm just a normal human being, I decided to put a stop to his homophobia!"
"But so far all you've managed to do is be an annoying wench," Ludwig glared at her.
Gilbert sighed, "calm it you two, will you?" he turned to Ludwig first, "bro, seriously it's not good to be homophobic in the twenty first century."
"It is simply my opinion."
"Yeah, feel free to have your opinion, you don't have to be gay. But some other people are, you're just going to have to accept that!"
"But it's totally unnatural!" Ludwig protested, not being swayed.
Rubbing his temples in frustration, Gilbert tried again, "look you're going to have to treat it like... I don't know, I came out gay," aha oh the irony like that would ever happen. "Because we live together; there's no escaping me. If you want to stick with your friends then you're going to have to accept them for who they are."
Apparently Gilbert had said something very wrong as both Michelle and Ludwig looked very offended.
"Friends? They're not my friends," Ludwig spat.
"We never asked for him! He just tagged along with us! He can go ahead and leave for all I care, I just don't want him hanging around us like a homophobic fly that refuses to go out of the very open window."
Blinking and feeling defenceless Gilbert raised his hands, "well so-rry, Jesus I'm staying out of this complicated mess."
"And besides," Ludwig muttered under his breath, "no one in our family would be wrong and disgusting like that. We were raised better, even you were."
Yeah, about that...
"And if you did come out, well then to me you wouldn't be a brother. Just a queer who's always around my spreading diseases around the house."
Ouch.
Well shit.
Gilbert sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and rubbing his temple again, trying to deal with a migraine he could feel coming on. This wasn't great at all, was it? If Ludwig felt like that... god knows how his dad would react...
"You bastard..." Michelle snarled, obviously hearing his mutters to Gilbert. She ignored the lesson that was just beginning. "You would even reject your own family just because they don't have the same sexual orientation as you? You narrow minded... judgemental... prick."
"Oh ouch," Ludwig drawled sarcastically. "Let me get on with my work, Michelle."
"You think I'm going to let you off with an excuse like that? Not likely, genius kid. Though saying that, some 'genius' you are, both Arthur and I scored higher than you the last science test paper."
Ludwig stiffened. First mistake, Michelle thought with an malicious grin to herself, never show any sign of weakness; I now know your weak point.
"Why do you think that would bother me?" he bluffed, "I'm a year nine student, I shouldn't even know the definition of a covalent compound, and yet you only beat me by a point."
"You sound awfully concerned about that one point for someone who claims not to be bothered by it," Michelle hissed.
Mr Key spun on his heels, taking a break from writing on the board, "Keep it down at the back!"
Ludwig continued, his tone lower now, "I never even wanted to be with you people in the first place! You're all shallow idiots that copy each other's homework and complain when you get found out! This whole school is just awful. I'm glad I won't be staying here long."
"Oh well I hate to break it to you genius boy, you've got two years left here, unless you plan on skipping those too."
"Don't be ridiculous. I asked my dad to move me out of this hellish place. If my application is accepted, and I see no reason why it wouldn't be, I'm out of here within two weeks!"
"Good riddance! Don't think I'll miss you!"
Ludwig swallowed hard at Michelle's quick reply. She hadn't shown any sign of shock or remorse. He thought that even she might have reacted a little to that. "None of you are my real friends; I much prefer the company of more intellectual individuals rather than those who participate in protecting those who are poisoning the world with homosexuality."
"You leave Arthur out of this!" Michelle was no longer being quiet.
"He was in it from the beginning! Just because he made a bad life choice and doesn't want to change back!"
"You think Arthur would change himself to please you!?" Michelle looked about ready to explode. She rose to her feet slammed her hand on the desk, making those who weren't already watching her with perplexed gazes turn around in their seats. Mr Key turned around at the front of the class, so shocked at what was happening he stood there, dumbfounded for a moment.
Michelle continued, a fire in her heart, her eyes a blazing inferno and her expression that of pure rage. "Are you that self absorbed!? You think Arthur would become something he's not to please you, someone he doesn't even like!? I - I can't even begin to understand the logic that got you to that point? Can one person be so conceited that they actually believe that someone would do that!?" Michelle's voice was only growing in volume.
Ludwig climbed to his feet too, looking very ready to form a reply, however was cut off by a knock at the door. Everyone looked up to see Miss Thorn, the head of P.E. and general bitch. She stood there, the eyebrows on her wrinkled old skin raised disdainfully, a look of condescending shock and mock concern on her face.
"Is everything quite alright in here, sir?" she asked, shooting daggers at Michelle and Ludwig, "I trust this isn't some form of speaking and listening exercise?"
"I - I - no, no of course not. I'm not quite sure if everything is alright," Mr Key frowned, eyebrows knitting together, "in fact that was the question I was about to ask. Michelle, Ludwig, would you please explain why you think it is acceptable to scream at one another angrily at the back of my classroom?"
"I...!" Michelle began, just realising she was about to get into trouble because of this. "Sir, you didn't hear the whole thing! I was defending Arthur!"
Mr Key frowned, "I do not discourage you to stick up for your friends, Michelle, though I ask you do it at a more appropriate time!"
"But...! He...!" Michelle let out a half-scream of frustration. Apparently that was all it took to incriminate her.
Miss Thorn made a beeline for the two, "right you two. With me. Now. We're going to sort this out. Get out; go to my office and I'll be with you very soon. We will sort this out and I will make sure you both realise that it is not acceptable to argue while your classmates are trying to learn!"
Bella, Gilbert, Elizabeta and Francis all gazed worriedly after the two as they were practically dragged out of the corridor.
Well shit, Gilbert thought to himself. This wasn't great.
Francis shot a worried glance at Gilbert, "mon cher, I'm sure your brother will be okay. As will Shell."
"Yeah they'll both be okay but will your group be...? I hate to admit it but it's not like Ludwig has an abundance of friends, and he wouldn't want to stick around with me. So... where's he going to go...?"
"It hurts me to say these words to you, mon cher, but I think at this moment in time we must prioritise ourselves over your brother. We can't have him threatening our friendship because of his medieval views on homosexuality," Francis sighed, "It must be hard for you to be in the middle of it, seeing your brother and your friends argue."
"Nah, Francis, I back you up one hundred per cent there, man. Like yes, he'd my brother, but it's really not fair on you guys! He is being a total dick with all of you, and like Shell said, you didn't ask for him. Okay, I'd prefer for him to be not lonely and such, but right now he pretty much deserves what he's getting."
Their chat was cut short, along with everyone else's as Mr Key snapped out of his gobsmacked state and regained his control of the lesson. "Right everybody! Let us forget about that, and I don't want anyone to be taking a lead from Michelle or Ludwig. Honestly, I expect better of both of them, especially Ludwig. I'll continue, seeing as this is incredibly important for your exam this summer, shall I?"
At the mention of exams, everyone promptly shut up. Exams were scary shit that was not to be messed with. Gilbert sighed, not listening on how to correctly write a formal letter, he honestly didn't care. He was much, much more bothered about what Ludwig had said about rejecting Gilbert as his brother if Gilbert's gayness became apparent.
Gilbert didn't want to keep his real self hidden from his family; he wanted them to see him for who he really was.
But at the same time, he really didn't want to loose a brother.
Kiku awoke that night to the buzzing of his phone. He scrambled about helplessly, at first thinking it was his alarm. However, upon further inspection he noticed that it was still the early hours of Saturday morning, and the racket his phone was making was in fact an incoming call from none other than Gilbert Beilschmidt.
Kiku answered the call, trying to be as polite as he could. That was hard considering it was two in the morning. "Gilbert...? I know we're meant to be meeting up today but I think this is a little early, even for me..."
"What? No, no, forget that Kiku this - this is something - something else," Gilbert sounded incredibly on edge. This woke Kiku up even more, his curiosity peaked, feeling worry beginning to creep up his spine.
"What's wrong, Gilbert?"
"Ehm... I well... I'm outside your house..."
"What!?"
"I'm sorry! I'll explain, but could you - is it too much trouble to let me in? It's kinda raining out here and... I'll explain in a minute." Gilbert was being incredibly polite. Something must be wrong. "I would knock on the door but I wouldn't want to wake your parents. I feel bad enough waking you up..."
"I'll be down in a moment."
Kiku promptly hung up, clambering out of bed and slipping on his dressing gown and slippers, making his way down the stairs as quietly as he could.
Opening the door revealed a wet Gilbert standing, shivering on the doorstep. Upon seeing Kiku, Gilbert immediately burst into an unexpected wave of tears, wordlessly reaching out, clinging to Kiku, apologising through his sniffles.
"Gilbert...!" Kiku whispered into the boy's shaking structure, trying to angle himself so he could close the door. "What's wrong!?"
"I - I should have listened to you and Arthur - oh god why did I...? I'm so fucking stupid! The two smartest people I know advise me not to do something, and I go and fucking do it and fuck everything up!" Gilbert cried into Kiku. Before Kiku could ask what Gilbert had actually done so wrong, the boy had launched into a teary explanation.
"I told my dad I was gay. It wasn't even spontaneously... I was about to get ready for bed, I thinking about it, about coming out and... I started to get so angry! I wanted the right to be respected for who I was! So I marched into my dad's bedroom, luckily he was awake, he was working, but I said I needed to talk to him - I told him, and... and..."
Gilbert sobs got more frantic at this point, "He looked so fucking ashamed. I told him and he looked at me like he didn't even know me... then he looked like he was going to get really, really angry; I - oh god I never thought I'd be so terrified of my own father. But in that moment he was like a man I'd never even met... Kiku I'm so fucking scared. "
Staring down at Gilbert, utterly dumbfounded at what he was hearing, Kiku felt totally lost for words, only able to stroke Gilbert as reassuringly as he possibly could. Finally he found himself able to stutter out, "but Gilbert, how did you get here?"
"I walked," Gilbert admitted, sounding guilty. He knew how badly that would go down with Kiku.
Sure enough, Kiku's mouth had dropped, "Gilbert! It's two in the morning! You live ages away from here! You'd have to walk over the field to get here! Gilbert you could've...! Anything could have happened to you! You can't just get up and walk places in the middle of the night! And it was raining - oh goodness Gilbert you - I -"
Soon it was Gilbert patting Kiku to keep him calm. "I'm so, so sorry for worrying you, Kiku, but there was nothing else I could do - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for waking you up, and I'm sorry for troubling you like this, oh my god I'm an awful friend."
"No that is not what we're worried about here, Gilbert! I never said I was bothered about you waking me up in the middle of the night; I'm just so shocked and worried that you walked here! You could have at least got a taxi! What if you'd been hurt? Or worse? Oh my god...! Why didn't you walk to Arthur's? He lives so close to you!"
The two paused, just imagining what the situation would be like if Gilbert had gone to Arthur's. Gilbert could only imagine Arthur bursting into tears of worry and distress, and screaming at him about being a reckless idiot for walking in the middle of the night, and then proceeding to wake up the entire house with his motherly lectures, ending in a night of pissed off Kirkland family members, an Arthur who would be shitting himself in worry, and a Gilbert who would be having so many self-destructive thoughts that he may as well be a suicide bomber.
"Actually I can see why you didn't go to Arthur," Kiku muttered, having similar thoughts.
"Please don't tell him," Gilbert begged, "he's only going to have an unnecessary heart attack if he finds out. He might even try and talk to my dad and holy fuck that is an awful idea."
Kiku nodded, "I won't tell Arthur, but I think that maybe you should once this is all sorted out. I would take a guess that Arthur would feel incredibly hurt if you didn't tell him something big like this."
Gilbert nodded, "I'll try my best."
There was a pause, both trying to calm down their breathing from the sheer adrenaline of the situation. "So I can assume you'll be wanting to sleep here tonight?"
"If that's okay," Gilbert said in a quiet voice, feeling bad.
"I'll just check with my parents... I have a feeling they're awake, anyway." Kiku nodded at Gilbert, padding quietly up the stairs, and knocking lightly on his parent's door.
He walked inside and sure enough, Kiku's parents were sitting up in their beds, bedside lamps on and both looking rather concerned.
Kiku spoke to the two of them in Japanese, "Mum, dad, is it okay if-"
"We heard it all, son," Kiku's dad cut him off, "Bad language and all."
"Gilbert-kun can stay here as long as he needs. Make sure to offer him something to eat, too, Kiku. It must be horrible for the poor boy to be going through this..."
With a nod, Kiku slipped out of the room, thanking his parents. After stopping in the bathroom to grab a clean, warm towel, back down the stairs Kiku came, presenting the towel to Gilbert and insisting for him to dry himself off.
"My parents said it's okay for you to stay as long as you need, Gilbert. I hope you can mend this with your father soon," Kiku sighed. "Oh! But I don't mean that as in to say that I want you to be gone from here soon! I can just imagine it must be a horrible position for you to be in and - and -"
Gilbert chuckled a little, putting his hand over Kiku's mouth. "Shh, Kiku, it's okay I get you, no need to stress. But thank you so much. Thank you for caring."
"On the contrary, it would be hard to make me stop caring. Now come into the kitchen and let me make you some tea."
Gilbert felt rotten inside; this was literally the worst night of his life. However, as he walked into Kiku's inviting kitchen, he could feel a small bubble of happiness battling with his despair, and although it may not have won the war, it certainly won the battle as an uncontrollable smile found its way onto his face.
A/N
A shorter chapter this time, sadly. And I can't help but feel that Ludwig is incredibly OOC, but no matter how I tried, I just couldn't get him into character. I apologise deeply for that. My awful excuse is that he was pised off ad irrational so he flew off the handle. Also Gilbert was sobby and lame, but I get the feeling that even the coolest of the cool kids would be tearful if his dad had basically rejected him there and then, and he'd been made to run through the pouring, awful British rain to his friend's house in seek of a bed and roof over his head.
Thanks again for any form of support; seriously you're all wonderful for taking time out of your lives to tell me what you think of my writing. It is inspiring. Thank you one and all!