(A/N) sorry, I haven't updated in a bit... like three weeks... I would bombard you with excuses, but I know you just wanna read... So here you go...

I woke up to a rude awakening from Bella, licking my face to no end till I finally got up. Surprisingly, Roy was still sleeping, his mouth open a little and a light snore here and there. I wondered if I should wake up Roy or not. He gets enough sleep in the office, how can he sleep this much at home? I shake him a little.

"Roy?"

He rolled over "five more minutes" he mumbled. I smiled and shook him again.

"Roy wake up, before I get your dog to lick your face off..." I said half asleep

He mumbled something I couldn't understand

"What?" I said

"Stubborn ass..."

"Well at least I can get up in the mornings..." I quickly shot back.

"Oh shut up... You want some coffee?" Roy said, pulling out some instant coffee and sugar from the cabinet. "I don't got any creamer if that's okay."

"Yeah sure I'll have some." I said trying to fix my messy braid with only my hands and the reflection of myself in the window."I'll just have a few teaspoons of sugar if that's not a problem."

Roy gave me my coffee... awful coffee may I add (who uses instant? kinda gross in my opinion...), slowly sipping it, hoping it will cool down. I look over at the clock on the wall and see its almost noon. God dammit, Al's gonna throw a fit when I get back... I finish off my coffee, burning my tongue in the processes, and stood up.

"Hey Roy, I gotta go before Al gets mad at me. I really don't want to make my brother upset, you know?" I say, trying to make this fast "Well, I guess i'll see you at work." and I left the house.

Little did I know he was asleep in the chair, behind the news paper...

I walked up the stars to mine and Al's apartment, wondering if Al is even home. I hope I didn't piss him off too much while I was gone. I hate making people mad at me, but it seems I have a talent for it. I open the door to see no one in sight, and no greeting from Al. Looks like he's not home.

I need to take a bath. I feel fucking filthy. I might have just jumped in that dog's mouth let alone get licked pratily to death. I went to my room to undress, I get some spare clothes and a towel. I walk in the bathroom, undressed, filled the tub and jumped in. The warm water wrapped around my body like a blanket. I sunk my head into the steaming water, letting my mind wander to unknown places.

I wonder why the Colonel- I mean Roy, wanted to talk to be about something, when he is practically in the same ditch as me? He drinks, I cut and he scolds me about it.

I hear the door open and close again. "Hey Al! I'm in the bathroom!" I yell, kinda greeting him. I heard nothing. No 'hey brother' no 'okay' no response. Then, I hear something break.

I grabbed a towel and put it around my waist, shuddering at the cold air hitting my skin. I hear the door open and close again. What the hell is going on?

I walk out calling Al's name, looking around the apartment. I see a picture of Al, Winry, Pinoko, my mother, and me on the floor and broken glass from the frame everywhere. "What the..." I mumble to myself.

I walk over to the fridge and try to find the broom. I look over on the counter, and notice something missing. "Where the hell did the phone go?" I stare at the counter for a while, thinking everything out, "Holy shit... Did I just get robbed?" I hit my head in frustration. How the hell can I be so stupid. Leaving the door unlocked.

I checked around the apartment to see if anything else was missing. So far, I couldn't find a jar of my and Al's 'rainy day' money, a watch (thankfully not my pocket watch), and worst of all, one of mom's old necklaces. I got dressed right away and ran to the nearest payphone.

I immediately dialed 911. The phone rang three times before someone picked up. "Hello 911, what is your emergency?" a kind sounding woman asked.

"Uh, yeah, I would like to report a robbery in my apartment."

"Okay sir, may I ask what was taken?"

"A phone, a watch, some money, and a necklace."

"Is that all sir?"

"I don't know, I didn't have time to search around much."

"May I ask for your address?"

"Oh yeah, uh" I pulled out a little booklet I keep in my back pocket, because lord knows how many times I given someone the wrong address. "1514 east parkway drive, apartment 107"

"Okay, we will send officers there in a few moments, have a nice day sir." then the line went dead. Have a nice day? I think my day is as bad as its going to get.

I ran back to my apartment, out of breath by the time I got back. I went searching for more items missing. To my benefit, I found nothing else out of the ordinary. I heard a knock at the door and went to answer it.

"Hello officer." I say kindly, after opening the door.

"I'm here to inspect a robbery, is this the right apartment?"

"Yeah, come in." He walked in with dirty shoes, getting the carpet all muddy with a man behind him, who took off his shoes.

"Is your dad home?" the first officer asked.

"I'm sorry, but I'm the owner of this apartment if thats what your asking, officer," I looked at his nametag "douchebag"

The man had a crease in his brow "Its Dowshe-beg. Its French I'll have you know." He took a deep breath and looked at me. "So, all that was taken was a phone, money, a watch and a necklace?"

"Yeah"

"Where were you at this time?" I saw the other, kinder, officer behind him, taking notes on a legal pad.

"Taking a bath in the other room."

"And you didn't get out to see who was in your home?" He asked rudely

"I thought he was my brother, when I heard the door open and shut again, I got out."

"Great thanks, anything broken?"

"Just a picture frame."

"Okay, do you mind if we have the frame?" The other officer asked, "you can keep the picture though."

"Shut up Jensen, you're in training, you don't need to talk for me."

'Hey! leave him alone!' Is what I wanted to say, then punch him. But, you know how much trouble I would get in by doing my normal routine.

"So kid, what's your name and line of work?" officer fancy douchebag said.

"Edward Eric, and state alchemist." The other officer, Jensen, stood back and his eyes looked like they would melt out of his head.

"You're the Fullmetal Alchemist?! I'm Jackie Jensen! I'm a huge fan! I've been using alchemy since I was ten, but you a legend to me!" He said in a surprisingly feminine voice.

"Jensen! I told you to shut the hell up! Its bad enough there making me partner up with a fagot like you! So can you just shut up already!" That time, I almost did punch him. But instead, I said the simplest words some one can say to a man like this. "Either shut the hell up, or get out of my house and call the station to report you, and get someone else to inspect my apartment." I said with my automail fist clenched, biting my lip after saying it. "Sorry officer Jensen."

"Not a problem, used to people calling me that by now." He said.

"Sounds great, we will do our best to get your items back, goodbye." He walked out the door. Officer Jensen looked back smiled then waved. The door shut behind them and I could hear them behind the door.

"The kids such a dumb cunt. I mean really? Didn't even check..." I couldn't hear them anymore as they walked down the stairs.

You know, Officer Douche Bag fits him better.

(A/N) sorry it took so long to upload, I've been over run with school and work. That and I started Clannad... I cried my eyes out... No joke, I never thought someone could cry that much until I finished it yesterday...

Until then, bu-bye, please rate and review!