The Hunt for the Perfect Man: Chapter 4 - Miroku
This is still a tag-team performance brought to you by HauntedReality/CharmedReality and BelleDayNight.
Disclaimer: We didn't create the characters. We just put them in compromising situations for our amusement.
-ooo-oooooo-ooo-
Inuyasha answered the knock on his door with an impatient grunt from the couch. It was the final lap in the NASCAR race and, if someone expected him to get up and open the door at a time like this, obviously they didn't know him very well and had no business dropping by unexpectedly.
"Ah, Jeff Gordan wins again," a familiar voice from the past remarked from behind the dark haired man. Inuyasha turned around to stare in disbelief at his old college roommate.
"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded rising to his feet and hopping over the back of the couch, reaching Miroku and giving him a huge bear hug. "I haven't seen you since the time we got kicked out of that bar for Aoshi's bachelor party. It's been what, two years?"
Miroku stepped back from the hug with a far away look in his eyes. "That was a great night. I don't remember what we did, but boy, it must have been worth it!" He laughed, violet eyes twinkling in good humor. He glanced around the sparse apartment. "It doesn't look you taste in furniture has changed much since then." He moved towards the couch and burst out laughing again.
Inuyasha rubbed his hand sheepishly against the back of his neck. "Yeah, I know. It's the same one we had back in our dorm room senior year." He gestured towards the large plasma screen television and stereo system. "I only splurge on the important things," he grinned widely.
"That sweet red sports car in the lot, naturally, I expect that to be yours," Miroku commented with a knowing look.
"Naturally," Inuyasha agreed. He hopped over the back of the couch to resume his previous lounging position. "You've caught me on my lazy day," he told Miroku as he flipped through the channels on his satellite television.
Miroku claimed the ratty recliner that he recognized from their old college neighbor's room. It seemed that Inuyasha took any and all free furniture with him. "Why don't you try channel five hundred and eleven?"
Golden eyes narrowed in thought. "Isn't that the porn station?" He glanced over at Miroku, and rolled his eyes. "Of course it is," he answered his own question before putting the television on the news.
"Some things never change," Miroku complained with an exaggerated yawn. He glanced down at his watch before refocusing on the television. "So, you get that job with the FBI?"
"I'm not at liberty to discuss that," Inuyasha remarked dryly.
"When they called me for a character check on you; I tried to warn them what a horribly dull person you were. You don't even watch porn or buy new furniture. To think the government wanted you to crack secret codes," Miroku continued, watching Inuyasha's face for a reaction from the reflection on the television screen.
"Don't make me kill you," Inuyasha warned. He glanced down at his watch and idly wondered when he would hear Kagome's newest dating disaster arrive. "Why are you just now visiting me?"
Miroku shrugged, "I was just in the neighborhood; thought I would drop by since I was running early for a date." Miroku grinned lecherously, "I've got a picture of her if you want to see. She's not my usual type."
"She has a brain and doesn't wear double Ds?"
"She's cute and she's smart. She's a student at the local university part-time while she works at a café full-time. I respect a woman who supports herself and is educated." The description sounded a little too familiar to Inuyasha. Miroku glanced down at his watch and decided it was close enough to his designated time. "I'll be seeing you."
"Wait!" Inuyasha yelled, blocking Miroku's exit from his front door. "Are you going on a date with Kagome Higurashi?"
Miroku grinned from ear to ear. "You must be very good at cracking those codes," he sidestepped his old best friend and walked across the hall to knock on Kagome's door. She opened it with a sweet smile that faded slightly at seeing Inuyasha standing right behind Miroku with a fighting stance.
"Inuyasha, what are you doing?" She asked, trying to decide if she was annoyed or amused at the man's overprotective posture.
"You're not going out with this womanizing playboy," Inuyasha declared. Miroku shook his head and took Kagome's hand in his with an innocent smile.
"I believe my old friend is simply jealous that I'll be the one taking a beautiful angel, such as yourself, to the carnival." He affectionately rubbed her hand within his. "I'm Miroku. Inuyasha and I were roommates back in college."
"Small world," Kagome replied politely when Miroku released her hand. He was an incredibly charming and attractive young man. It was only a slight misfortune that he was acquainted with her neighbor.
"Not small enough," Inuyasha muttered. "You're not taking her out to the carnival. I don't trust you with her as far as I could throw you."
Miroku sized him up. "I bet you could throw me pretty far." Inuyasha gave him a warning look. Miroku shrugged, "I suppose you could join us."
"The more the merrier, right?" Inuyasha answered, directing an irresistible smile towards Kagome of his own.
With a heavy sigh of defeat, Kagome held her door open for the two men. "Just let me get my phone." The two men followed her inside her front room.
Miroku glanced around; pleased with her decorating skills that made Inuyasha's look even more pathetic. Their apartments had the same floor plan, so the comparison was hard to resist. "I love what you've done with the place, Kagome."
"Thanks," Kagome smiled, feeling uncomfortable in the handsome man's presence with Inuyasha standing like a sentinel soldier, ready to attack at the slightest provocation. "I guess we should be going."
Miroku offered his arm, but before Kagome could accept it or reject it, Inuyasha cleared his throat. "Keep your hands to yourself, pervert, she can walk just fine to your car."
Through a false smile, directed towards Inuyasha, Miroku dropped his arm carelessly. "Why don't I go ahead and start the car. The two of you can meet me in the lot."
Kagome waited until Miroku was no longer in sight and then locked her front door. She then whirled around and jabbed the sharp end of her keys in Inuyasha's chest, finding satisfaction when he winced. "What is wrong with you? You're ruining my date."
Inuyasha crossed his arms both out of habit and defensively. "I know him a lot better than you do, and there is no way I'm allowing you two to be alone."
Blue eyes narrowed at him. "I'm a grown woman. I know how to take care of myself."
"Right, as has been evident when you called for my assistance after your last date," Inuyasha retorted.
"That was a cheap shot," she said forcing a hint of hostility to her voice that she didn't feel. In fact, so far none of her dates had gone the way she thought they would. Perhaps, having someone she trusted tag along wasn't such a bad idea. But since no one like that was around she decided she would settle for her nosey neighbor.
"Alright, you can come. But I don't want you breathing down our necks every minute. If I'm going to get a fair judgment of him I'll need to spend some time alone with him." Inuyasha opened his mouth to protest, but he felt another warning jab of keys against his chest. "Understood?"
"Fine," he said in a low voice as he took a step closer. His lips dipped closer to her ear and Kagome found herself sucking in a quick breath in surprise of his sudden proximity. Her heart rate spiked a bit as she could feel his hand ghosting over her arm gingerly. Before she could react to the strange situation she felt her keys being pulled out of her hand.
"Hey!" she exclaimed as the spell lifted as suddenly as it had begun.
"Don't worry," he said as he pulled back with a wry smile. "I'll give them back at the end of the date. I just don't want you poking a hole through my favorite shirt." He turned and ambled down the steps while she stared daggers into the back of his unsuspecting head.
Finally trailing along behind, Kagome wondered what she had gotten herself into while she fumingly mumbled, "If by favorite you mean that you wear it every other day and you've never allowed it out of your sight long enough for a good soak..."
"Sorry, Kagome, if you want to hurt my feelings you're really going to have to speak up," he replied glibly as they approached Miroku's car. "Shotgun!"
-ooo-oooooo-ooo-
"I can't believe he actually took the front seat," Kagome said almost to herself as she and Miroku stood in line for the House of Mirrors attraction.
"I can't believe you gave him an indian burn to make him give it up," Miroku replied with a mirthful laugh.
Kagome blushed slightly, realizing she had been acting like a child in front of her date since they had met even if that was all Inuyasha's fault. "Well, it worked at least."
"I'm glad it did," Miroku smiled back. "Inuyahsa is a great many things, but breathtaking is not one of them. Just being seen with someone of your beauty is a humbling experience." He reached for one of her hands and stroked small circles against her skin with his thumb.
"HANDS!" shouted an angry voice approaching quickly behind the couple. The long haired man shot his old friend a warning glance before passing out the food. "Kagome, your lemon shake-up, corndog, and deep-fried twinkie," he said the last part with a grimace. "How can you eat that?"
"It comes on a stick," she said, clearly not understanding.
Sighing in exasperation, Inuyasha clarified, "No, the deep-fried, cream-filled, styrofoam of impending doom."
"I know it sounds weird, but it is delicious. Do you want a bite?" She held out the sticky treat invitingly only to receive a disgusted look from her neighbor.
A faint smirk appeared on Miroku's face, but he realized neither of them were aware of the suggestive nature of her words or actions, so he let it pass. "You'll have to forgive him, Kagome. His sense of adventure was actually removed when he was very young. We were all quite upset about it--wailing, gnashing of teeth, well, I'm sure you can imagine."
"Very funny, Monk," Inuyasha said sarcastically as he took another inching step through the line. They would be inside shortly.
"Monk?" Kagome asked, bewildered by the nickname.
"It is best not to seek logic in the names assigned while in the throws of college, don't you agree?" Miroku said with an innocent expression, cutting off Inuysha's reply. The last thing he wanted was for his date to know he was called Monk out of irony due to the large numbers of women he had 'associated' with.
Luckily, before the issue could be pressed further they were inside the House of Mirrors.
Kagome stood in front of an hourglass-shaped mirror that made her hips and chest look a mile wide and her waist the size of a slim stick. She struck a pose, "Does this make me look fat?" she asked Miroku with a playful grin.
He stood to the side and held his hands at an angle, like a photographer fixing the frame. "Baby, I think you have potential with those proportions." He winked suggestively at her.
"Cut it out, we don't have all day to waste looking at these freak mirrors," Inuyasha announced, taking hold of a shoulder of each of his companions and pushing the two from behind.
Kagome dug her heels into the ground and jerked out of Inuyasha's grasp. "You're lucky I don't have my keys anymore," she snarled before taking hold of Miroku's hand and yanking him away from her stunned neighbor. They took off around the corner before Inuyasha could gather his thoughts.
"Lets make a run for it, and then he won't be able to catch up," Miroku suggested, grasping Kagome's wrist taking charge of their escape. He pulled her through a series of twists and turns. He looked over his shoulder and smiled arrogantly. "He always gets lost in mazes," he confided.
Kagome shook her head, "I can't believe he has actually tagged along. What was he thinking?"
Miroku shrugged, "No telling with him. I'm a great guy, really," he reassured, walking at a more leisurely pace. He stopped in front of a skinny mirror and flexed the bicep of his free arm. "Obviously, I need to work out," he frowned at his bean-pole image.
Kagome burst out laughing at his image. Miroku cocked a brow at her, "You've no room to talk yourself, shorty," he gestured towards the mirror she stood before. It made her look like a two foot gnome with long dark hair.
"I'm sure I'll have a growth spurt anytime now," Kagome answered defensively before bursting into laughter once more. Miroku released her wrist and placed his arm smoothly over her shoulders, shaking with her laughter.
He leaned his mouth down near her ear, "You certainly can make me grow," he told her softly. Kagome's mouth dropped open in shock at his blatancy. Miroku released her shoulder and stuffed his fist to his mouth to contain his laughter. "You're way too easy to tease," he told her before looking over his shoulder for signs of Inuyasha.
Kagome's laughter was too noticeable and he might be able to track them down. There was no sign of him, but he wasn't taking any chances and took the young lady through another complicated series of twists and turns until they caught sight of the exit.
"I hope you don't mind cutting our reflective adventure short to escape the foul beast, my lady." He bowed politely and applied a very formal accent to his words, fighting the smile that threatened to show through his disguise.
"Why not at all, my prince!" she said, playing along.
Together they ventured out of the attraction and soon, giggling like children, found themselves running hand in hand through the crowded walkways in a zigzag pattern. Stopping abruptly, Miroku caught Kagome in his arms as she stumbled at the unexpected halt. She looked up at him questioningly beneath dark bangs.
Lifting one hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, he spoke smoothly, "I'm very sorry about that. I hope you'll let me make it up to you." Before she could act, he pressed a gentle kiss against the center of her forehead. His lips were soft and she could feel a tingle run through her body at the touch.
Speechless, she watched him spin away while slipping one hand into hers and moving the other in a wide-arching motion. "This is why I stopped." He was gesturing to a ride slathered in pink and red hearts; complete with cherubs carrying bows and arrows and the words, Tunnel of Love, boldly marked at the top.
Taking in her skeptical look, he smiled charmingly. "Tacky, isn't it? But it is perfect for giving our boy, Inuyasha, the slip." What he didn't say was that he would love to get her alone on a boat ride in the dark to move that kiss a little lower next time.
"Sounds like an excellent idea as long as we make it through this line before he finds us," she wrinkled her nose at the extremely lengthy collection of couples awaiting their turn on the cutesy ride.
"Have no fear! A lady such as yourself should never have to wait in line with the commoners. I will see to it!"
He placed an arm around her waist and quickly escorted her to the line where he addressed everyone. "Good people, I don't mean to trouble you, but my recent bride has always loved this ride and I'm afraid I am very eager to enjoy the rest of our honeymoon. Could you find it in your hearts to help a pair of newlyweds out?"
His face was the very picture of convincing even if he had to tighten his grip around her waist to keep her from squirming in surprise, ready to protest his well-intentioned lies.
"Oh, newlyweds! How sweet. Come here, dears, you can cut in with us!" a little old woman called out from the front of the line. Before Kagome could refuse because of the annoyed looks some people were giving them, Miroku led her to the kind, if gullible, older couple.
Miroku captured the old woman's hand and gave it a light kiss and a priceless smile. "Madam, you are truly an angel. My bride and I thank you."
"Oh, aren't you an adorable young couple! You look just like Harold and I did when we got married. Don't they, Harold?" Her husband gave no sign of hearing her question. "Harold?" Still nothing. "HAROLD!"
"Hmm, what, dear?" the small old man asked with a blank smile.
"Nevermind," she frowned.
"Are you sure this is okay?" Kagome asked the couple reluctantly.
"Of course! Some people my age complain about young people always being in a rush, but you should be in a rush! Youth is wonderful. You should experience it to the fullest with the one you love. Not that I'm complaining about old age either. It is good being with my man, right, Harold? Harold? HAROLD!"
"Yes, dear?" he asked with the same blank smile which was becoming clear was a permanent fixture.
"Nevermind." She turned back toward Kagome and Miroku and gave them a wide grin. "It looks like your boat is here."
"So it does," Miroku said brightly. "You have my deepest thanks." He leaned back in to squeeze the lady's hand again before placing his hand on the small of Kagome's back and guiding her to the boat.
Once, securely inside, she gave him a soft look. "They were so cute."
"I think they felt the same way about us," he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"I still can't believe you did that," she said finally laughing at the escapade.
"What can I say? Your wish is my command. I had no choice," he smiled with false innocence.
"I bet you do that for all the girls," she teased in return as the boat began to move through the shallow water away from the irritated man who caught the briefest glance of their boat slipping into the darkness.
The tunnel was darker than Kagome would have thought for such a cheesy ride. She couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable now that it seemed that she and Miroku were alone in the abyss. She shifted on the narrow seat, brushing her thigh against Miroku's leg.
He slid his arm from around her shoulder, down her back, resting his hand on her hip. His thumb played lazy circles against the bare flesh that began to show where her shirt rose away from her skirt. Miroku then moved his free hand to rest on the smooth skin of her thigh.
Kagome laughed nervously, placing her hand upon Miroku's wandering one. Gently she pried it away and glanced around. "Do you hear that?" She asked, concentrating towards the entrance of the water ride. It sounded almost as if someone fell into the water.
"I'm too focused on your beauty to pay attention to anything else," Miroku confessed huskily as he dipped his face towards hers, catching her lips in his. Kagome lifted her hand to his chest, as his returned to caress her thigh. She pushed him away from her.
"What are you doing?" She squealed, arching her head back as far as her neck would bend.
A spark of impatience flashed in Miroku's violet eyes. "What did you think I was going to do?" He asked, a trace of annoyance in his voice. He blinked, turning to look towards the water. He definitely heard the sounds of someone swimming.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!" Inuyasha shouted, reaching Miroku's side of the boat and dipping it dangerously towards the water.
"Let go, you idiot! You're going to tip this boat over!" Miroku warned. Kagome's eyes had grown huge in shock at Inuyasha's unexpected arrival. Miroku was handsome, but his advancements were too quick for her.
"And let you see Kagome in a wet t-shirt? I don't think so," Inuyasha answered. He reached up and grabbed hold of Miroku's collar and yanked him into the water beside him.
Kagome gasped as her date was abruptly pulled away from her, but she also felt a hint of relief that they had been interrupted. Her boat continued to move on at its set leisurely pace, but she turned around and squinted through the darkness toward the two men.
Inuyasha was still gripping Miroku's collar tightly and seemed to be lifting him partially out of the water and shaking him. "Why couldn't you just back off, Monk?"
"I didn't hear her complaining," he shot back unwisely, still in the other man's grip.
"That is because you weren't listening like always!" Inuyasha growled out as he tossed Miroku into the shallow water, splashing Kagome accidentally.
She really didn't want to get in the water, but she didn't want to leave the two men alone either in case one of them decided this would be a good place to hide the body. She carefully maneuvered dismounting the moving boat without tipping it over and wadded over to the two angry men who were still trading words more than blows.
"Stop it!" she called out when she saw Inuyasha draw his arm back threateningly.
"Kagome!" both men cried out in unison, apparently having been too consumed in their argument to notice she had joined them.
"What do you think you are doing?" she split her stern glare between them.
"You!" she said pointing to Inuyasha. "You had no right to interfere with my date in the first place. I don't care if he is your old friend from college, your brother, or your ballet instructor, because right now he is my date and that takes precedence!" Any smart aleck comments he might have made died in his throat at the look she was giving him.
Then she heard a slight laugh from Miroku and spun around to cast him a withering glance too. "What do you think you're laughing at? He wouldn't have come along at all if he didn't know what a forward jerk you can be! Sure, you are cute, but what makes you think you can go all hands on a first date?"
Her lecture was cut off when another love boat slipped very slowly along its course through the damp trio. The couple inside the boat looked more than a little disconcerted and everyone just remained in the uncomfortable silence until they passed. Once they were almost out of earshot the girl in the boat turned to her boyfriend and whispered just loud enough for everyone to hear, "Do you think they are part of the ride?"
Kagome had calmed down considerably and mostly just felt embarrassed about having to walk out of the tunnel of love dripping wet soon. Then she noticed the smirk Miroku was giving Inuyasha. "Ha, did you hear that? She said I was cute."
Inuyasha bopped him upside the head, causing Miroku to lose his balance and stumble forward. Unfortunately, that sent him stumbling onto Kagome, sending them both underwater. Inuyasha ground his teeth and pulled them both up, separating the two bodily.
"I think it's safe to say this date is over," Inuyasha announced, dragging the soaking wet couple out of the water with him. They made their way back to the entrance, since it was closer than the exit. The attendant raised his brows at the sight. He had thought about calling security over to report the dark haired man that dove into the shallow waters, but had decided that the show to ensue offered more entertainment in the long run.
"Oh, Harold, can you believe that?" The old woman from earlier elbowed her husband in the ribs.
"Kids," he muttered.
"Give me your keys," Inuyasha demanded of Miroku.
"Why would I do that?" Miroku asked, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes. He was having no fun on this date at all. What might have been counted off as a funny situation was now simply uncomfortable between Inuyasha's anger and Kagome's embarrassment. He flashed Inuyasha a trademark smile, hoping to break the tension. "You think I'm going to allow you to drive my car?"
"Give me the keys willingly, and I might allow you to ride inside the vehicle," Inuyasha offered. He glanced over and noticed Kagome shivering in her wet clothes. He stripped off his button up over shirt and slung it over her shoulders, not really giving any warmth, but at least covering her up.
Miroku glanced over at Kagome and felt a twinge of regret for his actions. She really wasn't like the women he normally dated. This was the last time he ever tried to date a shy girl! "Fine," he agreed, tossing Inuyasha his keys. He didn't want to lose a friendship over one misunderstanding, and he wasn't used to seeing Inuyasha so serious.
Miroku decided his last gentlemanly act would be to offer Kagome the front seat while he sulked in the back, dripping over the soft leather. The ride back was extremely quiet except for the occasional well-placed cough from Miroku to indicate Inuyasha was driving too fast, but it only caused another increase in speed, so he held his tongue.
Back at the apartments, Inuyasha reluctantly allowed the two to end their date with a little bit of privacy, but that didn't mean he wasn't watching carefully just out of earshot.
"Kagome, this isn't ordinarily how I like to get a girl wet in a date, but it seems you are no ordinary girl." She looked like she was ready to hit him herself, so he threw his hands up defensively and to show it was a joke. "Seriously though, Inuyasha is a good guy even if he does hit his old college buddies a bit too easily," he said rubbing his jaw. "You are lucky to have him watching out for you."
Miroku took her hand in his and bowed to place a soft kiss on her fingers. "My lady, have a wonderful evening." Then he quickly jumped in his car and pulled away, not wanting to stick around to find out if Inuyasha would be mad about his last gesture. Kagome just stared after the retreating brake lights in confusion.
"Have you noticed all of your dates end in showers?" Inuyasha said by way of announcing his presence.
She was too tired to do anything but glare as she walked into her apartment, making sure to lock her door for some privacy.