Sorry it's been so long, here's the next bit :)
i feel like this is a bit weirdly done, but i don't know. i like it, i guess.
thank you all for all of your love, support and patience, i hope i haven't disappointed!

enjoy! :)

Weeks passed and Blaine kept singing, voice getting louder and louder until you couldn't help but hear him. There was something about the way he lit up when he sang that drew people to him. Something about his smile and his voice and the way he meant every single note that slipped past his lips.

"This is highly unconventional, but we'd like you offer you an audition."

"I thought I already auditioned..?"

"For a solo."

"B-but I'm a freshman!"

"You've earned it, Warbler Blaine."

It was the first time he'd been properly given the Warbler title. It was the first time, really, that he felt like he belonged, like he was wanted by anybody other than Santana.

"You don't have to take it, if you don't want. It's just an offer."

"I'll do it."

Santana slipped into the audience, surrounded by old people and their nurses, and watched Blaine win over every single one of them.

She'd never been so proud and yet, she'd never felt more alone than she did watching this boy; so like her broken best friend, just a million times brighter. Looking at him she saw the boy she should have gotten to know, the boy she had lost somewhere just beyond their childhood. She should have seen to it that his vibrancy bloomed, not dimmed. She had failed Blaine far too many times, she could feel it in the middle of her chest. She would never deserve him, no matter what she did.

But then, unerringly, even though he hadn't known she would be there, Blaine's eyes found her and his smile got impossibly brighter.

And she knew he'd never forgive her, because he had never blamed her in the first place.

When Blaine spoke to Santana, he noticed a change. There was something harder about her now, more brittle. Her face was soft when she spoke to him, or about Brittany, but there was something different behind her eyes. Something sadder and older. She looked so much older than fifteen, like she had grown up when he wasn't watching. He couldn't help but think that at least some of it was his fault, if not all of it. He missed warm, soft Santana, who gave sweet smiles away like it was nothing, who hugged people she had just met, when there was never any bite behind her words no matter how sarcastic they came out. He watched her harden herself. He watched as she made herself so hard, so cold, that she almost forgot how to smile. He promised himself that she'd be happy again if it was the only thing he ever did for her.

By the time of summer vacation, Blaine wasn't quite so broken, and Santana wasn't so breakable. Sometimes he didn't have to think about it before he laughed, he didn't flinch away from sudden contact as much. Santana didn't let people in, she kept them at an emotional arms distance, (she didn't tell him the arms distance was only emotional, she didn't tell him about how she'd pull boys closer to keep them farther away. She was ashamed of the kisses she refused to share, even as she shared so much else. She couldn't bring herself to tell Blaine just how dirty she had become from their groping hands and filthy eyes. She couldn't see the look his eyes would get, not when he was finally smiling again)

She was softer around Blaine but never as soft as she had been. He understood it as much as he missed it.

They spent long summer days curled up together, whispering their dreams and their fears, watching movies, singing.

"Santana, why don't you sing?"

"Blainers, I was singing like two minutes ago."

"I meant for anybody else."

"I don't know."

"Maybe you should join the glee club at your school, your voice is beautiful." His soft voice got softer, "Maybe it would be good for you. Maybe you'd be happy again."

She hated that Blaine, even with him all the way in Westerville, somehow knew what she had hardened herself into. She hated that Blaine had seen straight through her. It shouldn't have been surprising-he'd always had a knack for it-but now she felt like she was too terrible for him to save. It had been her who had held his heart and let it shatter. She should have saved him and she hadn't. But this was Blaine, and all he did was save her no matter how much she wished he'd stop.

"I'm happy now." And when she looked into his eyes, maybe she wasn't lying as much as she thought.

Blaine's eyes were knowing at Santana pulled Brittany towards him, his smile sweet as he took in their clasped pinkies and easy banter. Blaine saw the way Santana looked at Brittany long before Santana knew she was doing it. She might have wondered about the size of his smile if she could have looked away from Brittany's.

Blaine adored Brittany, with her soft blue eyes and crazy ideas. Brittany adored Blaine, with his big, shiny smile and wild, excited hand gestures. From the moment they met they got on amazingly. They just understood each other, the way only two people who were completely similar-completely wonderful-could.

They were like her own personal sunlight as they danced and laughed and hugged. Like she didn't even know how to be anything but the happy with them curled up on either side of her, finally quiet with drooping eyelids; so very similar to a pair of exhausted toddlers.

"She's amazing." He told Santana, taking her hand and looking at her like he was about to confess a secret. Or like he wanted her to confess one.

"She's a bit slow." She's not, she just reaches different conclusions is all.

"Except you think she's the smartest person you've ever met."

"I think that title actually belongs to you, Blainers. She's not much, but she's funny, I guess." She's everything.

"You find her interesting, special."

"I don't." I do.

"You've never lied to me before, don't start now."

"She's just different, Blaine." She reminds me of how you used to be. She reminds me of you and I always loved you so much. I can't help it with her. I can't.

"You need something different."

"You're confusing."

"It's simple."

"Explain it to me?"

"When you're ready."

"Dalton has made you think you're some kind of Gay Yoda, you know that, don't you?"

He winked, "And proud."

In the summer, with Blaine and Brittany, her sunshine twins, always at her side, one or the other or both (which was always the best kind of chaos), Santana almost forgot what it was not to smile all the time.

Saying goodbye to Blaine again, as they sat amongst the half packed boxes he'd take with him to Dalton, was harder than it had been before.

He had been broken, sad and nervous. But he had never been excited to leave her before. Now his smile was wide and he bounced where he was, talking endlessly about his friendsand his teachers and the songs he wanted to sing. She tried her best to smile too, like she was nothing but glad that she wasn't a part of his other world.

He cut himself off in the middle of a monologue about the argument he would use to convince the Warblers of a Taylor Swift medley and said, eyes sad and honest, "Honestly, it's just...not the same. This is the first time I'm actually starting a school year without you. I didn't want to think about it. I wanted to act like I was fine, but I can't. Santana, I've cried myself to sleep every night this week. I hate doing this without you. I hate not seeing you every day. I miss you all the time and I don't know what to do. I feel like part of me is missing, is that stupid?"

She just fell into his arms and promised she'd do whatever it took to visit more often.

"I love you, Blaine."

"I love you too, more than anybody."

"I'll be better, I promise. I'll be there more, even if I have to do it from here."

Their sophomore year started.

review?
hope you enjoyed it, the next one will be up soon, for real this time ;)

love you all
xoxo