Legend
"dialogue"
thinking
song lyrics
-Character P.O.V. change
[line break/horizontal line] - end scene, scene change and/or 3rd person P.O.V. switch
Flashback / End Flashback

Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, which belongs to CLAMP, or the song 'It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday,' sung by Boyz II Men (in memory of my fellow Graduates this year).

Card Captor Sakura
Of Amber Orbs and Emerald Pools: The Revised Version
Chapter 3: Syaoran- It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

 "Now… we have a lot of explaining to do, Syaon." Meiling said.

"We do, Mei mei. Well…" I started…

How do I say goodbye to what we had?
The good times that made us laugh... outweigh the bad... Ohh..

Flashback

Snap.

They broke apart. "Syaoran... did you hear something?" Sakura quivered, recovering from her previous state.

"Yeah. The rain let up so it can't be that..." I mused, "... maybe it was just our imagination?" I tried to reason. Things were going so well! Finally! Why can't fate just be kind once in a while and let Sakura and I have some time together?

"Hello? Syaoran?" she waved her hand in front of my face.

"Oh sorry, what?"

"I said that it couldn't be both our imaginations! I swear I heard som-"

Snap.

"...S-Syaoran?"

Thud...

Thud...

Thud....

(I thought we'd get to see forever... but forever's gone away...
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday...)

It's coming closer. "Sakura, be cautious. Something's coming. Best get your magic ready." I ran protectively to her side while we both had an arm around each other and the other hand around our respective weapons.

"What is it?" she whispered. I could tell she was trying to keep the fright from her voice.

"Nothing to worry about. Probably just another vampire or something." she tensed. Damn. That's putting it mildly. I mentally smacked myself. "I'm sorry Saku- you know what I-"

"Yeah. It's alright. There's something more important you should be worrying about, though." Sakura stated, intensely gazing as the sky.

"What-?" I looked up and was shocked.

It was an eclipse, but on closer note you'd see it was not Solar, Lunar or anything like that. This was one magically-orientated. And that magic was of Evil origins.

"Syaoran... the aura. It's so... black. And mysterious... who knows how much power it holds?" she quivered. I kissed her forehead.

"Whatever it is, we'll get through it. We always do. Now let's try using the light- SHITAI! Watch it!" We jumped at what we THOUGHT was a safe distance and marveled at what was before us.

Oh...

My...

Kami-sama...

Vampires. Demons. You name it. It was there. Coming from the sky. Coming from the forest. We were surrounded. We stood back to back. Kuso! Now what?! How can we possibly get out of this? I have to save Sakura, but... can I save myself? After all this time we're finally together... only to be split apart, again?

"SYAORAN!!! IIE!!!!"

"SAKURA! STAND BACK!" 3 Vampires were quickly approaching and they had plenty of back up. I pushed Sakura in one direction and myself in the other just when I felt a familiar sensation in the back of my mind and inwardly sighed with relief. At least Sakura would be safe.

"Sakura! Wait there, Eriol and the others are coming!" "

I can't go anywhere but I'm not letting you fight alone! FIERY, EARTHY! Attack the demons that threaten your mistress! WATERY, WINDY! Aid them!" I hope Kero and Yue will come faster now. This is a boost to their powers! Sakura thought hopefully as she watched her 4 elements attack in all directions, also protecting Syaoran who was faring well.

Using all 4 element cards? I know she's strong but it will soon take it's toll! I thought wildly, the slight distraction getting me a slash in the arm. "Syaoran-kun!!!"

"Stay!"

"But-"

"Syaoran!?" Eriol asked, as he, Tomoyo, Cerberus and Yue arrived.

"I'm fine!!" I gritted my teeth as Eriol stepped in behind me and helped me out. I smiled gratefully. Kero and Yue fought from above while Tomoyo supported Sakura and helped defend her, thankfully.

"On'nashujin! You used the 4 element cards! You know how dangerous that is!" Yue called from above. I glanced at her worriedly.

"I'm fine!" she reassured unconvincingly, starting to sway.

"Sakura-chan!" Tomoyo steadied her.

"I'm fine..."

"Yokatta!"

"Tomoyo! Watch her!" I shouted, then turned to Eriol, "How long can we keep this up?" I asked, switching sides for a minute.

"Not for very long!" he replied, grimly, "Kero! Yue! Keep an eye on Sakura and Tomoyo for a minute!" He ordered, then fully directed his attention to Tomoyo, "Tomoyo! What's happening?" Eriol asked,

"Right! Tomoyo-chan! Try looking back to when the heavy rain started!" Sakura suggested while trying to boost Tomoyo's powers.

"Hai! I'll do my best!"

That's right! I almost forgot! Tomoyo should be able to recall what happened with her powers... but this will take a lot out of her! I hope she can recall what happened! I thought hopefully. Eriol and I were faring well now- almost done clearing our area.

"I... I can't explain it... it's confusing! And it's taking a lot more out of me than usual!" Tomoyo started, terrified of her misfortune, "Sakura-chan! You must use Time and Return together! Eriol-kun, Syaoran, Kero and Yue will help boost your power and I'll keep everyone in stability! That way we can all see what happened!" Tomoyo ordered.

"Good thinking, Tomoyo-chan!" Eriol called.

"Impressive! I don't think even I could have thought of that!" I exclaimed

"Alright- enough with the praise!" Cerberus yelled,

"Time is something we don't have a lot of!" Yue added.

"Well, we'll just have to change that!" Sakura stated, determination firing up in her eyes, "TIME! Stop the present and the horrors occurring in it! RETURN! Take us back and be our eyes in the past! TIME, RETURN! You're mistress commands you!"

(I don't know where the road is going to lead...
All I know is where we've been... what we've been through... Ooh...")

End Flashback

"You guys have to feel me in, after, about what the vision showed you." I stated.

"How come?" Cerberus asked, puzzled.

"That was the time I was taken. While you guys were sent back into time before I could see anything... He took me..." I sighed.

"He?" Sakura inquired, thoughtfully.

"…Yeah…"

Flashback

W-what happened? Where am I? I don't see anything... and my powers aren't decreasing. I must have lost the link with the others. I slowly opened my eyes- only to find darkness greet me. "Hello?" I called out.

"Hello, little wolf." A husky voice responded, it seemed to come from all directions.

"Who are you?" I asked cautiously.

"That is none of your concern. But... if you must know- since it will not matter- I am The One."

"The... One?"

"That's right. Don't know me, Xiao Lang?"

My eyes widened. "How did you..."

"I know a lot about you." He answered simply.

"I know all about you and your little friends... even though you know nothing of me, which- by the way- saddens me greatly."

"Bullshit! Whoever the hell you are get me out of here! I have to go check on-"

"On who?" He interrupted, mockingly. "Your friends? The rich, weakling Daidouji? The half-reincarnated Clow, Hiiragaziwa? Sad that the other half just happens to be dead- so pathetic, as well!!" he laughed maliciously. I gritted my teeth "Ah, or maybe you mean your darling cousin, Meiling, and her love, Kinomoto? Oh... I mean Touya. For we ALL know that YOU'RE love is ALSO a Kinomoto!" I could hear his sneering,

"Shu-"

"Your cherry blossom. Your little cherry blossom and her pathetic guardians-" he continued,

"-DAMARE!" I yelled angrily, "You don't know crap about me! Tomoyo-san is NOT a weakling! Eriol-san is NOT useless, even at half-power, and how DARE you speak about Kinomoto-san that way!" He snorted "Meiling and Touya are 2 of the strongest people I know, and they're safe in Hong Kong! Yue-san and Cerberus-san are NOT pathetic and you have NO right in HELL to talk about MY Sakura! Bastard!" Suddenly I felt a cold impact with my cheek.

"First of all, LITTLE Wolf... NEVER interrupt your superiors when you are in their presence! A member of the Li Clan should KNOW that. And secondly- before you interrupted- I was saying that your Ying Fa will NOT be yours much longer. After I dispose of you, she will be mine." He laughed, evilly. "'How do I know so much?' You're practically screaming the question!!" he laughed and I just glared at the "ground," knowing he could be anywhere.

"Wh-"

"I have watched you all- day in and day out- ever since you came back to Hong Kong... even before, in your case. And I now lust for the mortal angel. She shall rule at my side as the demon goddess or perish with the others of her pathetic race!"

"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU, YOU BASTARD!? SHOW YOURSELF TO ME!"

"As you wish—" And show himself, he did. My eyes widened in horror...

(If we get to see tomorrow... I hope it's worth all the wait...
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday...)

End Flashback

"Kami... I can't..." I sighed heavily and rested my head between my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder and knew Mei Mei was trying to comfort me.

"Syaoran..." I looked up and Sakura was crouching down in front of me. She took my hand, "I know whatever it is that you have to tell us might hurt you, but... please try... if it's too painful, maybe Meiling can..."

"Gomen, Sakura. Syaon didn't tell me, either." I sighed again.

"No, it's alright. I'll tell you... it can't stay a secret forever."

"Syaoran?" Tomoyo started, but Eriol asked the question I was dreading anyone would ask ever since I learned, myself. "Who was it?"

"Li-sama, what could have possibly seen that could be so bad?" Yue asked, and Cerberus nodded.

"And why does it make you hate Him even more than all of us put together?" Touya asked. I laughed bitterly.

"Mou, so many questions, yet it's amazing how I can answer them at the same time..." This made everyone look at me even more confused. I looked down at Sakura who was searching my eyes for answers.

"Syao...?" She begun, but I cut in. They have the right to know this much, at least.

"He was... a person who I never could have guessed in more than a million lifetimes of his identity. The last person I could ever think of with every fiber of my being. The only person who would make me hate him for everything he did, for everything he said, and for everything that he stands for."

I spat out with so much spite, disgust and hatred in my voice everyone was taken aback. Yet when I stalled for a few seconds everyone inched closer.

"He was..." they came even closer… I sighed deeply.

"He was my............................................................................... father." I whispered.

Everyone gasped. Yeah, that was the expected reaction. Sakura, of course, was the first one to speak. Amazing how she got over the initial shock just to try to comfort me.

She squeezed my shoulder, "Syaoran..."

"Forget about it for now... I have to finish." She just nodded. I looked at everyone else who had gotten over their shock and nodded eagerly, also.

Flashback

"-son." He finished, as I choked out at the same time "P-p-apa??..?" He looked surprised.

"You remember?" he thought for a second, "You remember… even after not seeing me for… how many years?"

"It's been 17 years, 7 months and 4 days. Now how about the truth, Father." I spat out, and before he could open his mouth I added, "The ENTIRE truth."

He smirked. "You never cease to amaze me, my boy. When you were 3 you remember only an 'image.' That image was a member of the Li Clan, husband to Yelan Li, and father to you and your sisters. 'Xiaofuei Li.' He is my human half. My other half, which is actually my true self, is who stands before you know. However, I was not aware of myself. I lived the life as Xiaofuei and trained to become leader of the Li Clan, much like you had to.

"By the time I was 20 I qualified, but I needed to be married, and by clan rules I would have to keep the clan blood strong by marrying my cousin, Yelan. And that's what I did. We bred 4 beautiful daughters, your older sisters, Sheifa, Fanren, Fuutie and Feimei. We thought we would never have a chance at getting a boy so we gave up... but not permanently.

"I was sent to Japan on clan business. The first night I was there, before I could get to my hotel, I was attacked by none other than a vampire. I managed to rid of it but not before it could bite me. That would kill any normal human but that's when I realized I wasn't one.

"My other half now took over and memories came back to me. I was an immortal. And now, I was a vampire immortal, but with the weaknesses of a vampire. When I came home shortly after your mother was dreadfully worried and that night, out of my newfound powers with newfound lust, we 'tried' again. And the result," he smiled sinisterly, "was you." I looked away in disgust.

He came up to me and forced me to look him dead in the eye. I wasn't about to back down so I glared as hard as I could. Of course, he wasn't phased the slightest. "Now, my dear Xiao Lang. It's time you pieced things together, as you probably should have already." I broke eye contact and understood.

The "father" I had the first 3 years of my life was not real.

He was the human identity of an evil immortal.

Evil, who just happened to be, a vampire immortal.

Which made me…

(And I'll take with me the memories... to be my sunshine after the rain...
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday...)

"Which makes me the partial son of an evil vampire immortal- or in other words, a half vampire." I said in disgust. Which also means I can never face the others again... or... just Sakura...

"Right. The weaknesses will grow on you now. You should know them well, for you hunted your own kin. Now that you know the truth your dark side will try to take over. Knowledge is power, after all. And to fools who know not how to use it, power is weakness. There's always a way to overcome it. After telling you this, I will not kill you and free you of your pain. I will let you live to fight your sorrows, all alone, for your cherry blossom won't want you anymore, and your friends shall abandon you in disgust. So good luck in the battle of life, Xiao Lang." He sneered. "You're alone now, little wolf. All alone."

"No. NO! I-I have family-"

"-they will shun you. They will cast you from the clan! Now that you know the truth they will do everything in their power to protect themselves from YOU." H-he's right... mother would just turn away... keep it all inside... my sisters would be quiet... for once... normally that would be amusing...

"M-my friends wouldn't turn away in disgust if they knew my situation!" I yelled defensively. Maybe a little too defensively. He smirked, he knew he was getting to me.

"Are you sure about that? You kept your barriers up so long and only recently have they been kept down. Maybe you don't fully trust them yet- and they don't fully trust you. And we both know that the cherry blossom won't face you now- and you can't face her without telling her the truth. So tell me, little wolf. What ARE you going to do?" He laughed maniacally and slowly disappeared, leaving me to sink to my knees and crack.

I'm...

All...

Alone...?

"IIE!!!!!!" I screamed and banged my fist on the floor. I looked around blindly at my surroundings.

"Where am I? Where have you left me, you monster?"

"I may be a monster, son, but so are you! I've merely taken you back to the real world... but before I go... I have something for you so you'll always remember me... flashes of the future once my minions of darkness have taken over the world!"

End Flashback

Everyone was staring at me in different ways. Awe. Pity. Sorrow. Pain. Either that or they were thinking of my "father" in fury, disgust and pure hatred.

"Those flashes… they were exactly how the world is now… except worse. If we didn't do anything about it… and… then…"

"I'll finish, Syaon." Mei mei offered, to which I simply nodded. "That's when Syaon came to me. He told me what happened- except the part about... about... 'uncle' Xiaofuei." she winced in disgust, "When he did arrive we barely recognized him, mostly because he masked his aura. It was the day before Touya left, and he was the reason Touya left-"

"- please don't be angry that I knew... it was not my place to tell." Touya interrupted. Everyone just nodded.

"We also didn't recognize him because he arrived with all kinds of scars. He went through a lot to get to Touya and I. He turned to us because he wasn't ready to face... um..." she stuttered, I looked down in shame.

"It's alright, Syaoran. We understand." Tomoyo comforted, Eriol nodded. Sakura was just staring into space, her hand still on my shoulder, no emotion showing on her face. Must have really gotten her thinking… maybe… reconsidering some things… I thought, dejectedly. I squeezed her hand, timidly, and she snapped out of it and gave me a half-smile and turned to Meiling, which signaled her to continue.

"Touya and I tried to heal him as much as we could and he filled us in on all that happened. We of course didn't turn him away- Touya and him were finally getting along," she joked, which earned slight smiles, "and because I was practically the only family he had left. We both knew that eventually the Li Clan would find out. If they would shun us both or not we weren't sure but we didn't think about it.

"We've been through exactly what you guys have been through. The horrors, the battles. Watching all the destruction around us and not having enough power to stop it. So we've also trained as hard as you guys. We know that much because we've been watching from a distance.

"That year ago when I stopped keeping in touch was because we started traveling more- especially between here and the old Hong Kong site. We're really sorry... you might have seen us a few times. We left a few hints here and there. Especially Syaon," She turned to me and smiled, then turned to Sakura,

"Syaon's been watching you a lot, Sakura. It hurt me a lot to see both of you in so much pain. I mean- that happens when soul mates are separated." We both blushed, "Mei Mei!" I hissed in embarrassment. We all laughed, trying to break the tension.

"Well..." Cerberus started after a long period of comforting silence. "Just like the gluttonous nuigurumi to destroy the silence." I joked, trying to keep the happy mood for just a little longer. Even Cerberus was laughing but stopped quickly and got a glint in his eye as he pounced on me.

"Ah! I'm being crushed by an over-grown, gluttonous nuigurumi named Cerberus! Kami have mercy!" I laughed, because he wasn't putting his full weight on me.

"Hey, Li-gaki, you can stop calling me 'Cerberus'- it sounds so formal and it makes me sound old! Call me 'Kero' like everyone else!" Cer- I mean Kero told me once he got off me. Everyone sweat-dropped.

"You bring this up now?" he just shrugged. "Alright- but you gotta call me Syaoran-gaki from now on-" I joked again. Everyone animé-fell down. "-but only because I'm calling you Kero-nuigurumi now!" I laughed as Kero-nuigurumi popped a vein and started chasing me around.

Everyone laughed at the sight, finally fully happy in a long time. For the moment our problems were put aside...

For the Moment...

And I'll take... with me the memories...
To be my sunshine... after the rain... ohh...

Afterwards we settled down, peaceful. I smiled at Sakura who smiled back. I took her hand and held it tightly. "It might be so hard to say goodbye to yesterday..." I whispered in her ear, "...but I'm glad that I'll be seeing tomorrow with you, Saku."

She kissed me on the cheek, "Not tomorrow. Forever."

Forever, then. Issho. We smiled and turned back to the others.

... It's So Hard... To Say Goodbye... To Yesterday...

But it's good to embrace the future, no matter what it brings. I reasoned.

Japanese Translations

gaki - brat/ kid

nuigurumi - stuffed animal

yokatta - I'm glad

iie - no

mou - annoyance exclamation ("geez" / "sheesh")

damare - shut up

issho - together

Chinese Translations

Mei mei - little sister A/N: Syaoran calls Meiling this as a nickname, and Meiling's nickname in return is Syaon. There's no significance here, they're just nicknames!

Xiao Lang - Little Wolf, a.k.a. Syaoran

Ying Fa - Cherry Blossom, a.k.a. Sakura

-T. (Conspiratorial Omen)

Next : Chapter 4 - Eyes On Me
Negative feelings successfully plague their minds, as they enter the ancient metropolis, safe for the time being.

(Edited 06/07/04)