The forge had begun conversion into a longhouse a while ago, but had still not been fully rebuilt. Most of the floor remained, but the walls and roof were in total disrepair. It was unlikely that repairs would be complete any time soon. But even so, Lady Eboshi had still insisted on meeting here rather than outside.
Even now, half the walls were open, and it would have been easy for anyone to eavesdrop. Eboshi was well aware of this, surely, but either she trusted her people very much, or didn't consider the conversation she was having with Ashitaka now so important that it needed complete privacy.
She already speaking with Gonza when Ashitaka entered. He couldn't quite make out the conversation, but heard her mention something about their routes, and she used the word 'bargain' more than once. Another step closer to the two of them, and they finally seemed to notice his presence. Eboshi moved her hand over the fabric that hid her missing limb as she turned back to her man servant.
"You have your orders, Gonza." She said, dismissing him. He looked like he was about to argue, but instead simply nodded and exited the room. Gonza grumbled as he pushed past Ashitaka, making no effort to disguise his irritation. Eboshi gestured for Ashitaka to step closer. "This won't take long, but I figured you'd appreciate one less pair of ears" she said.
"What is it?" he asked, not impatiently, but not warmly either. It was the same way he always spoke to her. It was very clear that he did not look up to her like her people did.
"Right to the point then? Alright. It's about the wolf girl." Eboshi said rather flatly, paying his mood no attention.
"San" he corrected automatically.
"I assume you'll be returning to the forest to see her regularly. When are you planning to see her next?" she asked, ignoring his correction.
"I'm going back in a week" he answered. "Or when repairs can be carried on without my help. Whichever comes first."
"You know you don't owe us your help" she said, and then frowned as she went on. "Which is why what I am about to ask of you might be unfair" she said with a sigh of resignation. "I hope you'll forgive me for asking, but know that I must."
Ashitaka said nothing. Normally he'd be glad to help, if it meant helping the townsfolk. But knowing that San would be part of this made him unsure. It stood to reason that if it had to do with San, then whatever Eboshi wanted of him couldn't be good.
"I need you to negotiate with her" she said.
Ashitaka let his surprise show for a moment before responding. "I'm not your envoy" he said simply. And it was true. He'd delivered a message on behalf of Iron town once before, but that was an extreme case, when lives were in danger.
He couldn't blame her for asking, however. It would make sense to send someone she knew into the forest to talk to her. But even as logical as it was, it didn't sit right with him. He didn't want to risk reducing his relationship with San to nothing more than a political one, no matter how noble Eboshi's intentions might be.
"I had a feeling you'd say something like that" Eboshi sighed. "At least let me explain. When the forest grew back after the death of the Nightwalker, it grew back best nearest the mountain. You've been to the forest, I'm sure you know how much more healthy it is up there than down here by the lake. The trees far up the mountain are much taller than the ones at the edge of the forest. Consequently, that's where all the animals are. We haven't dared go near the mountain for a long time now, but my people are hungry, and there's little to hunt here."
"What's wrong with the rice you've been growing?" Ashitaka argued.
"A few fields of rice won't feed us when winter comes. And if this town is ever to grow, we will need a more reliable supply of food."
"What about the food you bought from other settlements before? Surely you can afford to trade for some food like you used to."
Eboshi let out a crestfallen sigh, and lifted her hand to gesture toward the crumbling walls of the building. "Our trade routes were all nullified when this forge burned down. We have no Iron to sell, and that was all anyone wanted to trade for" she said. "In fact, now that we aren't producing any more Iron, I've been thinking I ought to change the name of our little town. Not that Iron Town was ever very creative to begin with, but now it's stuck…" she mused with a grin.
"Isn't there anything you could trade?" Ashitaka pressed.
"I was in the process of negotiating a new trade before you came in. I've been in contact with another town, a ways away for a little while now, and I'm trying to work something out with them, but im afraid it isn't going well" Eboshi explained. "I'm doing my best. We all are. But it isn't enough. If you could just get us permission to hunt in some small part of the forest, we can last through winter."
"I know how much it means for the people to be well fed" Ashitaka said. "But San sacrificed everything for her home, I doubt anything I could say would make her give any of it up now. I don't know if I can help you."
"You're the only one who can try. If I sent anyone else into the forest, they'd be killed" She lowered her voice to a more serious one. "She's a killer. You know that."
Ashitaka felt a sting upon hearing the accusation he knew was true. Yes, she was a killer, but so was Eboshi, and so was he. There was once a time when that fact would have eaten him up inside, but now it only stung. "War made killers of us all. You've taken as many lives as she has."
"How true" Eboshi said. She managed to form a grin, dissolving the uneasy atmosphere between them somewhat. "And she's a killer who fancies you, so you're still our best chance of getting her permission."
The mixed emotions he felt in response to her comment were not noticeable on his features. But judging by her smirk, Eboshi knew she'd stricken a chord, regardless of his passive expression. Her words were meant as a tease, he knew that. But to acknowledge them at all would only encourage Eboshi to do so more often, and Ashitaka preferred that Eboshi have as little to say about his relationship with San as possible.
"I'll ask her, but I can't promise anything" he responded.
"Thank you, Ashitaka" Eboshi smiled, this time more genuinely. "That's all I need from you."
A week had passed since last Ashitaka made his visit to the mountain. If what he'd said to San before was worthy of the faith she put to it, he would be coming back soon. There was admittedly some doubt in her mind, after all, even he hadn't been certain when he told her he'd return in a week. But she hoped.
She walked the boundaries of her territory with her brothers. They wandered a little ways across from her, occasionally putting their noses to the dirt, or raising their ears to the air. Ni caught a whiff of something, and tore off into the underbrush without a word of warning, leaving Ichi and San by themselves. He took the opportunity to speak to her.
"You seem on edge today" Ichi observed, keeping pace alongside her.
"I'm not" she said as evenly as she could. It wasn't true, but she was hardly willing to divulge every disquiet of her heart at the moment.
"Is the human coming back today?" he asked.
"Who knows?" she answered, as indifferently as possible. She'd been thinking about it all week, honestly, but the last thing she wanted was for anyone to know how much she'd missed Ashitaka. Truth be told, she didn't want to admit it herself. It'd only been a week since last he visited. To miss him already would be truly pathetic of her.
That seemed to be enough to put an end to Ichi's questions. He remained quiet after that. Ni appeared out from the bushes in front of them with a dead ermine hanging out of his mouth, and stepped toward San, offering it to her.
"Eat" he muttered.
San pushed his muzzle away in gentle refusal, and walked on past him. "Not hungry" she said.
Ni growled low in his throat, and drove his teeth between the meat of the animal in his mouth before swallowing it whole. "Saving room in your stomach for human food, no doubt" he huffed bitterly.
This accusation caught her off-guard. She turned to look at her brother, confused and a little angry. "I don't eat human food."
"You've eaten little more than scraps for days. The last time you had more than a mouthful of meat was when the human was with you."
"Just because I ate with him doesn't mean I ate human food. I ate what I killed."
"Yes, and you haven't killed much more than mice, aside from your meal with the human."
"What does it matter to you?" San snapped, growing more irritated with him.
Ni scoffed, "You eat with a human, and expect it not to matter?" He turned to Ichi, who had been quiet thus far, beseeching his brother to take his side. "She treats this human as an equal to us, her own family, and does not understand why it is wrong."
"Sharing a meal with him doesn't mean anything." She denied quickly, before Ichi had the chance to side with either of them. Hearing her own words, she felt they were wrong, somehow. But it was true, wasn't it?
"Our tribe eats together, San. Our family." Ni said, his voice full of bitternes. "Not us and the humans."
San opened her mouth to argue, but had no words. She took a few seconds to articulate her thoughts, and when she did speak, it was quieter, but just as resolute as ever. "He's not just a human."
"The hell he isn't!"
"He fought to help us!"
"He also fought to help our enemy!"
"He isn't our enemy!"
Ni growled loudly, scoffing. "Listen to yourself! In case you've forgotten, the humans are the ones who've been trying to kill us! Burning our forest, digging into our mountain, and poisoning our air with their smoke. And here you stand, defending one of them." He spat, teeth bared and claws digging into the dirt. "If she were here now, Mother would be-"
"Ni! Still your tongue!" Ichi cut in quickly, just as San's fingers began to curl into fists. "We will not speak of it now."
Ni was about to protest, but only growled and shook his head as he darted away into the thick of the trees a moment later, without another word. Ichi turned to face his sister, noting the clench of her teeth and hands. He offered her no words of comfort, but looked back at her for some sign she would be alright.
"Let's go" she said suddenly, turning away from her brother's worried gaze and moving onward. Her blood was still pumping with rage as she walked. Her mind racing with emotions. Furious at her brother for invoking mention of their mother, and the accusation that Ashitaka was no better than the humans who'd killed her. It made her absolutely livid.
And in addition to the anger, the mere mention of their mother had stunned her. For a moment in the midst of her rage, she was reminded that her mother's corpse lied rotting. And all at once, the powerful indignant fury she felt was rendered weak, and helpless. The pain of it stung her right to the very core.
Her fingers gradually relaxed as she walked. Her anger was pushed back gradually as her thoughts were allowed to focus on mundane things. The trees, the grass, the early morning wind in the leaves. These were normal, pleasant things. She dragged her fingers across the bark of the trees she walked by, just to give her skin some sensation. She slowly started feeling a little better.
Ni had brought up the topic of their mother's death once before, days after the death of the Deer God. The subject had been just as poorly received then as it was this time. San had ardently refused to speak of it, and it was clear to both her brothers that she needed more time to mourn. But it had been a long time since, and still San would still be stricken with anxiety each time Moro was so much as mentioned.
It was not as bad as it had been in the first few weeks, however. She no longer was driven into fits of panic, and while her dreams were still disturbed for much of the time she spent sleeping, she hadn't cried herself into her nightmares for a little while now.
It wasn't as if Ichi and Ni did not feel the same grief that San did. But their mourning had been done, and they only wanted to remember their mother fondly now that she was gone. Out of respect for San, the brothers had done their best not to speak of their mother. But ignoring the fact that their mother's severed head still lied rotting by the lake on the mountain only set Ni more at edge. It seemed only a matter of time until finally Ni would break, and the siblings would have to have the discussion that San so dreaded.
They came across a herd of deer as they walked, that sprinted away quickly after being spotted. Neither of them bothered giving chase. They weren't really hunting, after all. Just walking the boundaries of what remained of their home. They covered little ground in that time, but what space they did walk was covered quickly. Likely because there was significantly less forest ground now to cover.
They passed by a few Kodama here and there, sitting up in high branches, or nestled under the tangles of roots. None of them wandered from their trees. These new, young kodama were so different from the ones before. They were fewer, and much more cowardly. San couldn't blame them. These new trees had, after all, been born of the death of their god.
San and Ichi had stopped to rest at the edge of a small hill. Once again, their scouting had yielded no scent of intruders, thus far. But San could never quite shake the feeling that one of these days there would be a stranger in the forest. Perhaps one of these days Eboshi would come back to finish off the rest of her family.
"San" Ichi said suddenly, interrupting her somber thoughts. "Will you be alright?"
She was unsure what he meant for a moment, and then she shrugged. "Don't worry about me."
"For as long as you act worrisome, I will worry" he replied.
"I'm fine" she insisted firmly.
Her ears twitched at the sound of a howl, and she quickly rose to her feet. She recognized the voice as Ni's. After all, it couldn't have been anyone else's. What any human would have heard only as a howl, San recognized as an alert. Her heart beat faster, as every muscle in her body strained itself to hear the warning.
The call came again, and she listened more carefully. The howl was like the one they used when humans were about. Only this one didn't refer to just any human. In the midst of the cry, she heard mention of Ashitaka. The pounding in her chest that was at first fear, was suddenly exhilaration.
It was Ashitaka. He was here, in the forest. She could hardly believe it. She hurried down the mountain toward the sound, Ichi following behind. She hadn't ran so fast in a long time, driven not only by her desire to see him, but also by the knowledge that Ni had found him, and was not so pleased to have him here as she was.
It didn't take her long to reach them. She saw Yakul first, his light brown fur standing out easily against the green of the trees. A little distance away, she saw Ashitaka, garbed in the fine blue fabrics of his age old tribe. He didn't see her immediately, his attention was focused on the wolf glaring daggers and snarling at him. It wasn't until San and Ichi came into view that Ni took a step away.
"Ashitaka…" she muttered quietly in relief at the sight of him. He turned his back to the angry wolf in order to face her, as if in response to her saying his name. Though she was sure she'd said it much too quietly for him to hear.
Somehow, it seemed that his gaze had a power to it. A strength that overwhelmed her. San tried to put aside the mysterious feeling welling up in her chest once again, and was unable. She neared him, taking each step with careful haste, and found herself reaching out to touch him. In a moment, she had her hand on the sleeve of his arm. Surprised with herself, she glanced up at him to gauge his reaction.
He was smiling at her. Clearly, her impulse to touch him had not been poorly received. But when he reached out to reciprocate the gesture, she pulled away, a little too quickly, giving away her embarrassment. What had come over her?
She distracted the feeling in her chest by turning an angry glare to her brother. He met her gaze with a huff, but said nothing. He was lucky that that was the extent of her anger for now, considering what he'd said that morning, and how he'd greeted Ashitaka. He sauntered away from her, but remained near enough still that he remained within earshot of whatever conversation they had.
"I hope my arrival wasn't too unwelcome" Ashitaka said, drawing her attention back to him. The genuinely apologetic tone of his voice caught her off-guard. Did he really think he wasn't allowed here?
"Don't pay him any mind," she said dismissively. "He's been like this for some time." She shook the thought away, and then, as she found herself smiling, added "besides, I'm happy to see you."
"Well, that's all that matters." He smiled briefly, and then suddenly, frowned uneasily. "San, I'm afraid that this isn't a completely social visit" he told her, in an abnormally uncomfortable tone that only made San equally uncomfortable.
"Is something wrong?" she asked.
He lowered his head for a moment, and breathed deeply, preparing himself for what was next. He briefly eyed the two wolves standing a ways away, and then focused his attention back to San. "Eboshi asked me to negotiate with you, San."
Before all the words had left his mouth, San was already cringing. Her lips curled into a slight grimace, and she visibly stiffened. Her brothers reacted similarly, their ears pulled back, and their tails high as they snarled.
"That damned woman?!" Ni barked, moving to stand beside his siblings in order to glare at Ashitaka more effectively. "We will negotiate nothing!"
"She has only ever taken from us what she wanted, and never asked permission." Ichi growled. "How dare she come to us now, after all she-"
"Alright" San interrupted her brothers. "We'll talk." She spoke much more calmly than either Ashitaka, or her own brothers would have expected. But there was still an unmistakable edge to her words. Ashitaka knew that it was but a sliver of the hatred she felt for the woman.
"'We'? What makes you think I'll deign to hear her request?" Ni barked. "She doesn't deserve to be heard, much less negotiated with."
"if you'd rather not be a part of this, suit yourself." San replied dismissively. "I would handle this better without you anyway." She looked to Ichi questioningly, and he slowly shook his head in response.
"I trust you to come to a suitable decision on your own, sister" he said. "I have neither the need, nor the desire to join you for these negotiations."
"fine. I'll meet up with you two later" she said, and turned back to Ashitaka. She looked at him momentarily with an unnamable emotion. She seemed somewhat disappointed, and maybe a little bit frustrated. But whatever she was feeling, she did not speak it. "We'll discuss this elsewhere" she said as she turned away from him, and started up the hill. He followed her.
She did not look back to make sure he was keeping pace, or even slow as his footsteps became a bit distant. She was making a conscious effort not to look at him, or pay any more attention to him than she did to the ground she walked. But it wasn't because she didn't want to be look at him, or indulge in that ever present urge to be near him.
But something was a little bit different now. He was here, yes, but he had clearly not come back just for her, and she felt a bit foolish for hoping that he would have. And now that she knew it, she felt the need to keep her distance.
Being alone with him usually felt… nice. Their time together was a welcome change she'd been anticipating all week long. She'd even reached out to hold his hand today, giving into that mysterious feeling.
Did he know he had this effect on her? Was that the reason he was here? San couldn't help but feel like she was being made a fool of for it. it was working, if that was his plan all along. She would never have agreed to hear Eboshi's proposal if it hadn't come from him, he must have known that. He must have known, and that was why he came back.
'Not for me, not for me', she told herself again and again.
They reached the semi-level top of a hill, and when she reached the top, she stopped in her tracks for a moment, then she turned suddenly to glare at Ashitaka when he stood near her. She looked as though she were ready to strike him.
"I agreed to hear you about this, but let me make one thing clear first."
He seemed unsurprised by this reaction, and yet he stood very still, ready to receive a blow to the face if that was her intent. He must have known how dangerous her wrath could be, he bore proof of it just beneath his eye. And yet, he made no effort to defend himself from her.
"The last thing I would ever do, is a favor for that damned woman" she said, in a voice that was low, but thick with aggression. "After all she took from me… everything she did… the only kindness I will do her, is not to hunt her down and kill her."
Ashitaka remained silent, San took a step back, and sighed as she looked away from him.
"Regardless," she went on, "The last thing I want is for her to go back to taking by force. If coming to some sort of agreement can prevent her from taking everything I have left, then so be it."
Ashitaka knew that Iron town was in no condition to fight her. However, he also knew that Eboshi wasn't anything if not determined to get whatever she wanted. And when it came to the safety of her people, there was no telling what she would do. He couldn't say with authority whether or not Eboshi would do damage to the forest ever again.
"If it's worth anything to you," Ashitaka started, making some attempt to ease her. "She only asks because her people are in a difficult situation."
"If you want me to feel sorry for them after all they did, so help me-"
"I only mean that she's desperate, and in no condition to fight you, even if she wanted to."
San let out a heavy sigh, and ran a hand across her face. "Neither am I" she muttered, turning slightly away from him.
Ashitaka reached out to her, but then hesitated, and pulled his hand back. She would see a gesture like that as manipulative, when he meant for it to be comforting. Despite his intentions, they would only be poorly received.
"I'm sorry" he said. "I'm sorry that I was the one to ask."
His apology caught her by surprise. She shook her head, after blinking away her surprise. "No… you had to. You had to, because you care about them. I understand that." She said, trying to uphold an impassive expression again as her own words sank in. "I understand that, and I can't blame you for it."
"Even so," he said, "I don't care about them more than you."
And just like that, the mysterious feeling welled up inside her once more, but it was painful now, mixed with the sense of betrayal she still felt. She bit down on her tongue to drown it out. The feeling seemed to always swell within her at the most inopportune moments. She really needed to figure out what the hell the mysterious feeling was all about, so that she could suffocate it once and for all.
She did her best to hide her internal struggle, and rather than responding to his statement, thought it best to get right to business. "So," she said evenly, "what does that damned woman want?"
((AN:well this sure took a little while. but on the bright side, im on spring break for the next two weeks, so i might have another little something something for you fellas soon. maybe. no promises. also, i made a shitty playlist on 8-tracks for these two, check it out here if you wanna /greenthehuntress/i-ll-always-be-near . Also also, feel free to leave me a review, if you want. i like hearing what ya think, and in a fandom as dead as this one, its just swell to know that im not the only straggler left.))