Disclaimer: We own nothing
A/N Nerwen Aldarion: *peeks out of hiding* OMG I'm soooo sorry this took so long but in my defense school has been CRAZY! The good news is that I'm done with exams until next semester, the bad news is that in a little over a week I'll be check out of the United States for six weeks for field school in Peru. Since I'll be up in the mountains in a tiny village, I'm not going to be able to update. Hopefully I'll crank out one more update before I leave but it might not be until July that you hear from me again. But this is a great chapter because the team FINALLY meets Cassie, some more questions are answered BUT don't assume anything. ;-)
A/N Tinuviel Undomiel: Yeah, with my sister gone we won't be able to post for a while. She's important to this story because she knows case work and forensics. I do mostly the personal stuff. I do hope you all like this chapter. We have a lot of good stuff coming up, stuff that involves with why Lisbon left. Sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
Note: This chapter title comes from Thomas Hardy's poem "Heredity".
Chapter 4: In Curve and Voice and Eye
Rigsby walked back into the squad room with a cup of coffee in one hand and his wife's requested tea in the other. Cho was flipping through one of the files at Rigsby's desk while Jane amused himself with a deck of cards. He noticed that someone from the group was missing, "Where's Ledford?" he asked as he set the tea down in front of Grace.
"He's scanning the case file for his boss," Cho explained without even looking up at them, "He said Lisbon should be here around nine though."
There was no reason to say where Lisbon would be back from. It had been the elephant in the room since yesterday when she'd told them that her daughter was coming. There was an awkward pall that had hung in the room since then. Grace looked up from her tea with a determined face, "I still can't believe she didn't tell us that she had a daughter."
Rigsby turned to his wife calmly, "I thought you were over this last night." Despite the fact that the team had managed to finish the evening before without speaking about the bombshell Lisbon had dropped on them yesterday, Grace hadn't been able to stop herself from venting her true feelings out to her husband in private.
"It's wrong," she stated firmly, "Lisbon should have told us about her daughter."
"Technically she did," Jane replied, his voice light with amusement.
Grace glared at him, "That's not what I meant." She looked around at her teammates in bewilderment, "Am I the only one upset by this?"
"Yes," Cho stated simply.
"She worked with us for years," Grace reminded them, "She is supposed to tell us stuff like this. I mean…we were a family, you don't keep secrets like that from family."
Jane chuckled, "That's a naïve thought."
"It's true," She insisted.
"No it isn't," Jane explained with his eyes fixed on hers, "Nobody lies more than family. They say they are fine when they aren't, the absent husband says he misses them when he doesn't, the depressed housewife puts a smile on her face when really all she wants to do is scream. You work in law enforcement, you've seen those families…lies, all little lies to pretend that everything is perfect when it isn't."
Grace shook her head; "It's not always like that."
Jane smiled cryptically, "Come on…even you have a secret, something you don't want to tell anybody, not even your family." She held his gaze but her determined face was wavering, she had lost this battle of wits. What Grace didn't know was why. Why was Jane so calm?
"Why don't you care Jane?" she asked, trying her best to turn the battle away from her, "Doesn't it matter to you at all?"
It was only a hesitation for a fraction of a second; Van Pelt didn't even notice it. Instead Jane simply smiled again. "Lisbon chose to keep her life private, I'm certain she had a reason."
It was an awkward silence that followed with Grace unsure over how to respond and Cho and Rigsby trying their best to look like they weren't listening to the argument. Jane simply went back to shuffling the cards in his hands, almost as if the conversation hadn't happened at all.
Ledford walked into the squad room, his cell phone in his hand. He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated as soon as he felt the tension in the room. Adam held up the phone, "Lisbon just called, Cassie's plane has landed, she should be here soon."
"Wonderful," Jane replied, "I know we all can't wait to meet her."
Nobody else said anything, leaving Adam at a loss for words though he had a feeling that he knew what was silencing Cho's team. "I'm going to…get some coffee," he finally said before leaving them alone once more.
Cho silently went to his office while Rigsby began to shuffle through the paperwork on his desk. Grace just watched as Jane continued to the shuffle the cards as if he didn't have a care in the world.
Lisbon checked her watch for the umpteenth time and saw that the secondhand had moved from the two to the five since the last time she had looked. The plane had landed but no one was off just yet. How long did it take for them to turn off the "fasten seatbelt" sign and let the people leave?
A flight attendant stepped out of the gate and stood at the entrance, a sign that finally the passengers were being released. The first one out was a gentleman in an expensive Italian suit carrying a briefcase. Lisbon let the Donald Trump wannabe pass her by.
Another flight attendant arrived and she had Cassie's Disney Princess duffel-bag on her shoulder. Cassie was holding onto the attendant's hand, but when she saw her mother she cried out, "Mommy!" and let go.
"Hey sweetie," Lisbon said as her daughter ran into her arms. Despite all of the trouble it was bound to cause, she couldn't help but be happy to have her baby back. It was getting harder and harder to leave her behind.
"Mommy, they let me see the pilot," Cassie said, "And they gave me a little badge." She pointed to the set of gold wings pinned to her shirt. "Lindsey says that I'm an honorary flight attendant."
Lindsey, the flight attendant, smiled and said, "She was a little angel the entire trip."
"Thank you for watching out for her," Lisbon said.
"It was no trouble at all." She handed Lisbon the duffle-bag before grinning at Cassie. "Well it was nice meeting you, Cassie, I hope you have fun here in California."
"Bye bye, Lindsey," Cassie said and waved the flight attendant goodbye as she returned to the plane.
"Ready to go?" Lisbon asked her.
"Yes, mommy," she replied and fairly bounced with excitement.
Lisbon brought her daughter to the rented Sedan and then found her old route back to the CBI. She could still remember the streets, the familiar landmarks that helped to guide her to her destination. In fact, she had to be careful or she would wind up driving to her old apartment with the desire to relax after a crazy day filled with Jane's antics.
"Now you know I won't be able to spend all day with you," Lisbon said, looking at Cassie through the rearview mirror, "I'll be working, but you'll be in daycare with other kids and I'll stop by to see you as often as I can."
"Will you have lunch with me?"
"Of course," Lisbon said, grateful that this was a promise that wouldn't be difficult to keep.
"Mommy, why are you so worried?"
The question was a surprise to Lisbon. "I'm not worried."
"Yes you are," Cassie insisted, "Whenever you tap your fingers on the driving wheel it's because you're worried."
Lisbon looked down and saw that her fingers were drumming across the steering wheel as she waited for the traffic light to switch from red to green. Apparently her observant little monkey had noticed one of her nervous habits.
"I'm just thinking about the case, sweetheart," she explained.
"Don't worry, mommy, you'll catch the bad guy," Cassie assured her with one of her angelic smiles.
Lisbon's heart was pounding against her ribs when she pulled up to the CBI parking lot and showed the attendant her pass. She helped Cassie out of the car and led her into the building. Many people stopped to stare at her as she walked past, but Cassie was excited by the experience. Seeing her daughter's smile helped to calm some of her nerves.
She stopped just outside the squad room. This was it. No turning back at all now.
"Mommy, it will be okay," Cassie said and squeezed her hand a little with her small fingers.
Well she couldn't let a four year old beat her with courage. Lisbon took in a breath and then put on her best smile. Everyone was at their desks, except Jane who was on his couch. Ledford stood up when they entered and Cassie saw him first. "Adam!" she shouted before abandoning her mother to run to her partner.
Adam scooped her up into a giant bear hug. "Munchkin, I missed you."
"I get to help you, Adam," she said, "I get to help you and Mommy catch the bad guys."
Ledford chuckled and let her go. Teresa took Cassie's hand again and pulled her away. "Let's introduce you to everyone before we get you your own badge, honey."
She led Cassie away from Adam a bit so they were more in the center of the room. "Everyone, this is Cassie."
Grace and Rigsby openly smiled at the girl while even Cho's normally stoic expression warmed just a bit. Jane seemed to only show a mild interest in their visitor. His face was friendly, but more as if he were being polite and not actually caring how he was seen.
"Cassie, this is Cho," she said, choosing to ignore Jane for the moment. Cho held out his hand for Cassie to shake with small one.
"Hey," he said.
"Hi," Cassie said in a chipper tone.
Lisbon gestured over to Risgby. "This is Rigsby."
"Hey, Cassie," he said, bending down so he was at her eye level, "It's nice to meet you."
"Hi, Rigsby," she said, "Mommy said that you could eat a horse, is that true?"
Everyone laughed at her frank question. Lisbon shrugged at him. "Kids, they'll say anything."
"Sometimes I think he could," Van Pelt admitted, "At least he'd eat his weight in junk food." She left her chair and gave Cassie a little hug. "Hi, I'm Van Pelt but you can call me Grace."
"Oh," Cassie said with a gasp, "Mommy was going to go to your wedding."
"Yes," Lisbon said, touching her daughter's head, "But I couldn't make it." She looked over at the couple in question. "As you can see, she remembers everything."
The sound of someone clearing their throat told Lisbon that she couldn't hold off any longer. She took Cassie's hand again and brought her to the brown leather couch. Jane was smiling at them both. She wondered when it would happen, perhaps he was seeing it now.
"Cassie, this is Patrick Jane," she said.
Cassie help on even tighter to her mother's hand before saying in a soft voice, "Hello, Mr. Jane."
"Hello, Cassie," he said warmly, "There's no need to be shy, no ghouls or monsters lurking around here. Undoubtedly your mother scared them all away before you arrived."
Cassie smiled at him but didn't reply. "I can see that you are excited to be here," Jane said, "You don't like to be away from your mother."
She shook her head in response. Jane looked up at Lisbon and said, "She's a lot like you, Lisbon, you should be proud."
"I am," Lisbon said automatically. She kept waiting for him to say something, to pull her out of the room. Jane did neither.
"I guess we should check you into daycare so I can get back to work," Lisbon said to Cassie but she was looking at Jane. He had to know. Jane was Jane, he could see things even when he was blind.
Jane lay back down on his couch, apparently his interest completely spent. Lisbon frowned at his reaction, but didn't question him. What was the point? Wasn't this what she wanted?
"I'll be back in a few minutes," she said to her team as she and Cassie left the squad room. Maybe this was a sign that nothing would change.
Somehow, Lisbon doubted that.
"Well it took three years," Grace explained as she set a large file onto the desk in front of where Lisbon and Cho were sitting, "but we've finally got Jonathon Fletcher's rap sheet."
Lisbon opened the file and flipped through it, "It's pretty thick," she commented, "He's done time for everything from DUI to assault on an officer."
Rigsby peaked at the file over her shoulder, "He sounds like a pretty rough guy."
She nodded but kept flipping through the file, "All of this is at least two years old, but it does have his last known address, his employer," then something else caught her eye, "And the address of someone who paid his bail, Robert Miller."
"Sounds like we have a few leads to follow up on," Ledford said with a pleased smile.
Lisbon looked at the three addresses and noted that Fletcher's last known address was closest. She internally debated what was best, the address was two years old and probably would lead to nowhere, but she wanted to be nearby in case something came up with Cassie. In the end maternal instincts always won out, "I'll look into his last known address, if he isn't living there anymore maybe one of his neighbors remembers something."
Cho nodded, "Rigsby, you and Van Pelt talk to his employer, I'll see if Robert Miller knows anything."
Ledford stepped forward, "If you don't mind Agent Cho, I'd like to tag along with you." Cho simply nodded and the team broke apart, each grabbing their gear as they headed for their respective vehicles.
Lisbon didn't have to ask, didn't have to turn around to know that Jane was following her. He'd invited himself along with her again…she was actually afraid to know why. She didn't say anything, but simply raised an eyebrow at him as he opened the passenger door of the vehicle. Jane smiled, "Did you think I would stay behind?"
"Hoped is more like it," she told him and started the car.
=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=O=
To Lisbon's complete surprise Jane didn't say anything to her on the drive over to Jonathon Fletcher's address. She had assumed, expected really, that he would at least take the time to annoy her like he used to do. She had also been afraid he might start asking the questions she didn't want to answer.
But he hadn't done any of that; no he just sat in silence as if he didn't have a care in the world. Lisbon chose to just be grateful for the moment and not tempt fate any further.
She pulled the car to a stop in front of an old apartment building; it was a little worse for wear but serviceable. It reminded her of her first apartment, which only had an air conditioner that worked on good days and terrible parking, but it had been cheap and her first taste of real independence.
A middle-aged man with the beginnings of a beer gut and a scruffy beard was sweeping the hallway in the front entrance. He looked up as soon as he heard them approaching, "What do you want?"
Automatically Lisbon flashed her ID a movement she knew almost as well as breathing, "I'm Agent Lisbon with the FBI, and this is Patrick Jane a consultant with the CBI."
The man tensed immediately, "What are you here for?"
"We're trying to find someone, a man named Jonathon Fletcher."
He frowned and looked at her angrily, "He's not around here anymore."
Lisbon wasn't all that surprised by that bit of news, information that was two years old was bound to lead to nowhere. But she sensed there was more that this guy could share with them.
"Is this your building?" Jane asked eyeing they surroundings while Lisbon glared at him. She didn't have a clue as to what he was up to.
"Yeah." The man said warily.
Jane nodded, "It's nice."
Lisbon ignored Jane's flattering lies to try and get the conversation back on topic, "Do you have any idea where Jonathon Fletcher might be."
"Nope." This was getting frustrating; it was like pulling teeth getting answers from this guy.
"Excuse me," Jane cut in again, "but you are the landlord here right?"
"Yeah."
"You know your tenants, at least a little bit, you go into their apartments to fix things, see the trash they throw away, the little details of their lives that no one else notices. So you better than anyone can tell us what kind of man your former tenant Jonathon Fletcher was. What kind of man was he?"
He seemed to be mesmerized by Jane's words, he couldn't take his eyes off him, "Strange, he was a strange man." Lisbon had to hand it to Jane; he knew how to get honest answers when they needed it.
"Strange, how so?"
"Always sneaking around at night, I saw him spying on some of the other tenants, he always paid his rent on time so I didn't make an issue of it." The landlord shook his head, "He had some scary looking friends. I caught them fighting outside once…he pulled a knife on the guy. I called the cops but they were gone before they could get here." He simply shrugged, "then one day he just up and left, didn't say a word to anybody."
"And he didn't leave anything behind, no forwarding address or something like that?" Lisbon asked.
He shook his head, "No, like I said he just…disappeared. I can't say I was sorry to see him go."
Jane smiled, "Thank you, you've told us exactly what we need to know."
Lisbon was stunned as she watched him walk back towards the car just as the landlord, clearly relieved, went back inside. She followed the thorn in her side, "What the hell was that?"
Jane shrugged. "There was nothing more that he could tell us."
"I'll be the judge of that."
"He doesn't know where Jonathon Fletcher is," Jane reminded her, "and he can't tell you where to look."
"Then why are you looking so smug?" She asked yanking the car door open angrily.
"Because he told us something important…he told us that Fletcher's weapon of choice is a knife."
Lisbon knew where this was going and she had to admit she liked this idea, liked the possibility that maybe they were actually getting close. But the skeptical side of her had to point out, "A lot of people use knives," she told him, "It could be a coincidence."
"Perhaps."
She sighed, started the car and smoothly pulled out of the lot before telling him gently, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves Jane, there is still too much we don't know. We don't want to make mistakes this time."
Instead of making a witty remark or a protest Jane looked at her with a strange expression on his face, she wasn't sure what it was but he smiled wistfully, "You've changed Lisbon."
She was surprised by that comment but took it in stride, "Are you trying to say that it's a good thing or a bad thing?"
"Oh I meant no offense," he told her, "you're much softer now." Jane looked away from her, "I suppose I can attribute that to Cassie."
Lisbon felt her stomach twist into a knot, what was he trying to get at? "Maybe it was just being away from you," she replied.
"I'm that much of a problem for you?"
She rolled her eyes, "Well I haven't had to face complaints filed on my records, bizarre role playing or hypnosis to get confessions, what do you think?"
He smiled, "It sounds boring to me."
Lisbon couldn't help it. Jane had said that so sincerely, she couldn't help but smile at his response. Damn him for noticing it.
"You see, you have missed me."
She shook her head, "I never said that."
It wasn't a lie, nor was it really the truth. Lisbon wasn't sure if she had missed Jane or not. She had certainly felt a loss of his presence; he'd always found a way to make the job more…interesting. But it had also been much easier to stay away.
"I missed you," Jane told her and she didn't doubt the honesty in his voice. It was the soft way he said it, almost pensive and sad. She actually felt her heartbeat just a little bit faster at his words.
No.
She wasn't going to go down that road again, not now, not after everything. He wasn't going to say something like that and pretend that it will make it all better.
"No," Lisbon told him firmly, "No we are not going to do this again."
Jane looked a bit surprised at her words, "Do what again?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
He shook his head, "I just said I missed you, it didn't mean anything else."
"Of course it did!"
Jane looked amazed at her reaction; "If Rigsby had said the same thing you wouldn't have said anything about it."
"Because that's different," Lisbon reminded him, "You and I…we…" Jane watched her, his eyes alight with amusement. She took a deep breath, "It's in the past, what happened between us is in the past…it should stay that way."
"Fair enough," Jane replied and leaned back down in the seat, turning to look out the window once more, "but I did miss you."
Teresa was glad he wasn't looking at her; she didn't want him to see the pain in her eyes. Why did he still get to her?
Because she still cared.
Five Years Ago
Lisbon loved her job; she just hated how her job could get to her sometimes. Usually after a case she would go home, maybe take a relaxing bath or read a book, anything that would get her mind off her job. But on those hard cases where she just couldn't let go, those were the nights where she lay awake completely restless.
The latest case fell into the latter category, maybe in the top five in the list of cases that made her question her own sanity.
So she prepared herself for a long night of pacing, questioning herself and doubting her actions. She didn't expect a friendly knock on her apartment door. She certainly never dreamed that Jane would be there with a bottle of tequila in hand.
"Jane what the hell are you doing here?"
He was unfazed by her outburst, "Good evening Lisbon. Why yes I'd love to come in."
She thought seriously about closing the door on him but she had a feeling he would keep knocking until she gave in. Lisbon stepped to the side, allowing him entrance, all the while glaring at him. "I'll repeat the question, what the hell are you doing here?"
He smiled that devilish smile that let Lisbon know she was in a world of trouble. She hated that smile; it made her want to agree to do anything. "I've come to help you Lisbon."
Oh yes she was in trouble. "Help me? With what?"
"I could see this case was getting to you. I know you identified with Kelly Martin," Jane shrugged, "It's understandable. She was just trying to protect her brother and sister from their drunk father, similar to your own childhood."
Lisbon pretended to scoff, "I didn't shoot and kill my father."
"No," Jane said, he looked her deep in her eyes, "but you thought about it."
"Stop reading my mind," she told him and looked anywhere but at him.
"I wasn't reading your mind I was reading your face," Jane explained, "the way you looked at Kelly as Rigsby arrested her, the way you looked at her siblings. It's hard to stay objective and enforce the rules sometimes isn't it?"
"Some cases are harder than others," Lisbon admitted, "but I've dealt with it before, I didn't need your help then so why does this have to be different now?"
"Because now I'm offering."
She smiled doubtfully and gestured to the bottle he was carrying, "Tequila. You think that tequila is going to help me?"
"I'm just trying to help you relax," he told her with a grin. He opened the bottle and pulled a couple of shot glasses out of the plastic bag before filling both of them up liberally with the drink. He held one out to her but she didn't take it, "Come on," Jane smiled, "What's it going to hurt?" She still didn't accept it, "Alright if you promise to drink this then I promise to not do anything impulsive on our next case."
Lisbon had a feeling that he was lying but she wasn't going to waste this opportunity on the off chance that he was serious. She accepted the shot but hesitated for a moment. What's the worst that could happen she thought.
She downed the shot.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
Lisbon might not have liked to admit it but she didn't hold her liquor all that well. She had never been much of a drinker, being the daughter of an abusive alcoholic had more or less turned her off from drinking more than beer. Drinking one shot of tequila had made her feel significantly calmer already.
Five shots later and she had no troubles at all, and if she did she certainly couldn't remember them.
In her drunken revelry she had decided it would be a good idea to put on her old Spice Girls CD, it had been an even better idea to get up and dance to it. Jane openly laughed at her very poor display of dancing with the tune of If You Wanna Be My Lover. The thought never occurred to her that she might be embarrassed that Jane was watching.
Jane had had a few shots as well, he simply was much more adept at holding his liquor. He wasn't unaffected by the alcohol however, he'd discarded his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He was much more at ease than usual, idly watching her dance, quite proud at what he had been able to accomplish.
"Why do you like this group?" He asked still enjoying the performance in front of him.
Lisbon giggled like a schoolgirl, "They came out when I was in high school. I used to sneak away to my room, put my headphones on and escape," she declared, "I even dreamed about becoming a singer once."
Jane raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Why didn't you?"
She laughed a little too loudly, "I can't sing! I can't even carry a tune!"
He chuckled and nodded his head. He stood up from the table to get a better view of her impromptu production. Jane liked seeing this side of Lisbon, she was freer and softer, someone you could touch. "What have you always wanted to do?"
Lisbon turned to him and giggled again, "I don't know. I've never thought about it."
"Yes you have," he said simply, "Tell me what it is. It doesn't matter how stupid you think it is."
She spun around in a circle and giggled, "Umm I've always wanted to fly in a hot air balloon."
Jane could see that, but he still wanted to hear it, "Why?"
Lisbon flung her arms up over her head in a dramatic gesture, "Because I would be up high and away from everything and everyone. It would be quiet and safe…no one would see me."
He could imagine her as a little girl wishing the same thing, alone in her room hiding away from the complications of her family. She probably chose a room that was on the highest floor of their home, being higher up in the sky had been even more appealing. Jane crossed his arms across his chest and leaned up against the wall, "What else would you like to do?"
The song was fading but Lisbon didn't seem to notice. She continued to whirl around with no sense of balance. Her feet twisted underneath her and she began to fall to the ground in a drunken haze. Jane quickly rushed forward and grabbed her before she fell, her head collided with his chest and her hands clutched at his shirt.
Lisbon looked up at him, her breathing was hard and fast from all of her exuberant dancing and her eyes were glassy from the alcohol. She was so close to him, pressed up against him and she wasn't afraid at all. Wasn't thinking about the consequences of anything, wasn't afraid of the problems that could come with her thoughts. All she knew was that she wanted to give in and nothing else mattered.
She stood on her toes and pressed her lips against his.
Jane was caught off guard completely, which is why he didn't push her away, he was too surprised to respond. After a moment she pulled back and looked at him with no shame or guilt, "I've always wanted to do that," she told him honestly.
She had tasted of sweetness and tequila and the alcohol in his system made a heady combination. He could think clearly, at least he should, but he didn't really want to at the moment. Jane wanted that softness again so much that he wondered briefly if the alcohol was affecting him more than he thought…but like her, he didn't really care.
He tightened his grip on her, which was encouragement enough for her. Lisbon pulled his head down to kiss him again. He responded this time fully, pulling her close as she wound her fingers through his hair. The song on the CD player skipped ahead to the soft slow ballad that only served to electrify the air around them. Lisbon felt his heart beating against her chest and she could smell the musky scent of his skin. When was the last time she felt so giddy and free? She couldn't remember, but she knew she didn't want it to end.
Lisbon broke the kiss but didn't pull away, just looked into his eyes, his breath hitting her face, making her shiver with excitement. There was no turning away now.
She took his hand firmly and led him towards the stairs that led to her bedroom; the only sound was the Spice Girls crooning Two Become One…
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO
It was the pounding headache that finally roused Lisbon from her drunken slumber. It had been a long time since she'd experienced a hangover and she hadn't missed it one bit. Lisbon groaned and rubbed her aching head while trying to sort through the cobwebs in her brain. She moved to get off the bed when she felt the sheets against her bare skin.
Why was she naked?
All she remembered was a haze of tequila shots, loud giggles and…the Spice Girls? What the hell happened? There was the drinking, then the dancing…oh God she had danced to pop music in front of Jane! I'm going to kill him she thought seriously, I can't believe he let me make a fool of myself like that!
Focus, she had to focus, what happened after the dancing? The throbbing in her head intensified as she wracked her brain for the answer. An image…no more of feeling came to mind. A feeling of bravery and no inhibitions. She closed her eyes and heard Jane's voice, "What else would you like to do?" he'd said. What did she want to do? What secret did she hide from him?
Lisbon's heart plummeted as the memory came rushing back of pressing her lips to his, leading him up the stairs…bare skin on bare skin. No! She couldn't have done that!
Then why are you remembering it? The reasonable side of her asked.
It must be a dream, she hoped, she'd had those dreams before of Jane. It had to have been a dream.
You are naked and satisfied, what else could have caused that?
"Oh God," she gasped covering her mouth with her hand. She'd done it; she'd actually done it!
She had slept with Patrick Jane.
It might have been the shock of the realization of what she had done or perhaps the after effects of the tequila binge that made Lisbon feel sick to her stomach. Taking a few breaths she quieted the urge to panic. You were drunk she told herself you never would have done something like this sober! Slowly she came to the inevitable conclusion I can't believe he did this!
Somberly Lisbon got out of bed and dug through the drawers in her bureau for the first thing she could find, a long t-shirt and shorts she usually slept in on sweltering summer nights. She felt more like herself fully dressed, almost as if she could pretend none of the night's previous events had happened…almost.
She slowly made her way down the stairs noticing that the tequila bottle and shot glasses had been cleared. Jane must have done that before he'd left. Maybe he had decided that it was all a big mistake, maybe they could pretend it had never happened. She sighed in relief.
"Good morning Lisbon."
Jane's voice made her tense up immediately. She turned around to see him sitting casually at her kitchen counter. He was wearing the same clothes from the previous night, a harsh reminder of their tryst. Beside him was a glass of water and two pills of aspirin thoughtfully prepared for her.
All she wanted to do was kill him.
"You son of a bitch," she growled and balled her fists.
He simply smiled, "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
Lisbon glared at him, "Someone didn't wake up in their own bed."
"Well this wasn't entirely my fault."
She looked at him incredulously, "Not entirely your fault? You brought the tequila!"
Jane calmly stood up, "My intention was only to help you relax, nothing more."
"Oh really?" she replied doubtful.
"Honest," he told her, "Admit it, you haven't felt as free as you did last night in a long time. All of your tension about the case was forgotten and you were never more truthful with yourself."
She narrowed her eyes at him, "I was drunk."
He smiled, "Which is why you were willing to be honest with what you really want to do."
"I was drunk," Lisbon repeated firmly, "end of story." But she stepped closer to him, "But why did you let me…why did you do it?"
Jane simply shrugged it off, "Well…"
"Oh my God!" she exclaimed, she didn't need to hear the excuse that she'd been willing or that he was a guy. She'd already had enough humiliation. "Get out. Get out of my apartment."
He raised an eyebrow, "Now Lisbon…"
"Get out before I shoot you."
He finally did leave, but he never stopped smiling even as he shut the door behind him. Once she was alone again she finally took a seat, slowly breathing in and out to release…whatever it was that she was feeling. Anger, embarrassment, fear. She didn't know. She just knew that now she had a problem she wasn't sure how to fix.
But he had been so calm. Perhaps he didn't see it as a big deal; maybe when they saw each other again they could just pretend it didn't happen. Lisbon hoped so but that sensible side of her nagged in her mind again. Something like this is too big; you'll never go back.
All she did know was that she didn't know. She didn't know what the consequences of their actions would be.
Since Lisbon and her partner had been called into a private video conference with the director of the FBI, she had asked Grace to keep an eye on Cassie since day care had closed for the evening. Cho and Rigsby were debriefing Dalton on what they had found and Jane was trying to nap on the couch, though she suspected he was getting little sleep. They all knew that Red John kept him awake at night.
Cassie wasn't any trouble at all to watch. The girl was sitting quietly at Rigsby's desk coloring with her crayons. Grace was glad since it gave her time to double check her work. She needed the distraction. She knew she couldn't hide it forever, but now was just not the right time. Red John was more important at the moment.
"Are you sleeping?"
Grace looked up from her computer work and saw that Cassie had abandoned her coloring book and was standing by Jane's couch.
"I'm considering it," Jane replied. His comment was so sincere, as if he were speaking to an adult instead of a child.
"It doesn't look very comfortable," she said, "You don't have any blankets or pillows." Grace watched as she ran over to the little pink duffle-bag Lisbon had brought in with her. "Mommy gave me a blanket for Christmas."
Jane sat up and watched as she rummaged through the bag until she removed a child—sized fuzzy blanket with a giant picture of the Little Mermaid on it. "You can have it to sleep if you want."
Grace covered her mouth to hide her smile at the thought of Jane curled up with that blanket. Jane smiled at her. "Thank you, but I don't think I'll need that."
"Oh," Cassie said in a disappointed tone.
Jane smiled at her again. "I do appreciate the kindness."
Cassie smiled back at him. "Mommy always said you were funny."
"Did she?" Jane asked, "Does your mother speak of me often?"
"She talks about all of you," she replied, "Grace, Rigsby, everyone. I wanted to know who the people in the pictures were."
"What pictures?"
"The ones in the picture book," Cassie explained, "She has lots of pictures"
Grace smiled to herself. So Lisbon hadn't forgotten about her old team. Despite the fact that she'd neglected to tell them about her new life and child, she had shared their many stories with Cassie.
"What does she tell you about us?" Jane asked. She must have looked confused because he clarified, "What sorts of stories does she tell you?"
"She says you like to find trouble, but I don't know why you'd like to do that."
Jane chuckled and Grace but back her own smile at the girl's honesty. "I don't really," he said, "But sometimes I have to make trouble in order to make the culprit reveal himself."
"Did Mommy ever put you in time out when you got into trouble?"
Jane smiled again. "I'm sure she wanted to. Sometimes she did the grown up equivalent of time out."
"What's that?" she asked.
He laughed again. "I'll tell you when you're older."
"What was that supposed to mean?" Grace wondered to herself. Jane sometimes spoke in cryptic terms. Actually he almost always did that.
She saw the time on her computer and remembered how Lisbon had said that Cassie could have a healthy snack if she wanted. The little bag of apple slices was on her desk, she took it now and left her chair. She walked over to Cassie and Jane. "Cassie?" she asked.
Cassie and Jane both looked at her and Grace saw something she had missed before.
"I'm seeing things, I must be."
They both had a similar nose. Her cheekbones were high and shaped just like Jane's. "This is silly, they don't look alike."
But her hair, it was curly like Jane's even though hers was a dark brown. And…the eyes. They had the same blue-green eyes. She had never seen anyone but Jane with eyes quite like that.
"Is something wrong, Grace?" Jane asked her.
Grace looked at him, hoping his face would hold clear answers. No, Jane was always good at keeping his secrets. He betrayed nothing.
"No," she finally said, "I was just wondering if Cassie wanted something to eat."
"Yes, please," Cassie said. Grace gave her a small smile and handed her the bag of apples. Cassie returned to Rigsby's desk to color while she snacked.
Grace looked at Jane again but he only smiled and lay back down on the couch. She glanced back at Cassie and then back at Jane. She needed to get back to work. She needed to do a lot of things, but that all seemed meaningless now. Even Red John had been eclipsed by this sudden question:
Could it be?
Lisbon entered the CBI the next morning holding Cassie's hand and with slightly less trepidation than the day before. She wasn't a fool; she had known that yesterday was going to be awkward for many different reasons and it was. But now that everything, well almost everything, was out in the open she hoped that they could all move on and get back to work.
They all had certainly taken a shine to Cassie. All her daughter had been able to talk about was the team. She chattered on and on about Grace, Rigsby and Cho, she was so excited that she was finally meeting them after hearing the stories. By far the one she talked about the most was Jane, "Mr. Jane really is a funny man mommy," Cassie had said as Lisbon had tucked her in to sleep, "I like him."
She didn't want to admit it but Lisbon was not sure how she felt about Cassie's declaration. It was difficult for her to discern what Jane was after, she knew him too well to believe in anything else. But the longer she waited for the other shoe to drop the more anxious she became.
After dropping Cassie off at the day care center she set her emotions aside and prepared to meet her friends. Ledford immediately headed towards the coffee pot, Lisbon couldn't help but smile at that, even on another coast some things never changed. Rigsby looked up from where he had been quietly talking with his wife as soon as they walked in. "Hey," he said straightening up and gestured to Jane who was sitting nearby, "We were just going over the information we got on Jonathon Fletcher, trying to see if we missed something."
Lisbon nodded but didn't reply. She had gone over what they had found with a fine-tooth comb and had learned nothing. Beyond the landlord's cryptic answers, Fletcher's friend who paid his bail hadn't seen Fletcher in years either, knowing nothing of his whereabouts. According to Cho he had been very convincing. Fletcher's former employer had barely remembered him, but had been willing to give Rigsby and Van Pelt his personnel file, which only told them that Fletcher had been a quiet employee that had never done anything to attract any negative attention.
The ache in her gut told Lisbon that they were about to hit a brick wall, her heart told her that she would never give up until Red John was either dead or in cuffs.
She sighed, "Make sure to send a message to local police to be on the look out for him, until we find him we need to look somewhere else." Lisbon just had no idea what that would be.
"I may know where," Cho interrupted her thoughts.
They all turned to see him standing from his office door, with Cho the best way to discern his feeling was his eyes and Lisbon saw weariness and dismay reflected in his chocolate brown depths. She knew that they were in for bad news.
"I just got a call from Springsfield," he explained, "local police said that there's been another murder. Red John has killed again."
A/N: duh duh DUH! He's at it again! Oh dear and what will THIS murder tell us about our white whale? You'll have to find out next chapter. Please review, it makes us work faster!