Sorry it took sooooooo long to update, I have always planned on continuing this story but faced some problems in where I was heading with it. So after writing and deleting and rewriting, I have something. Mick's finally awake so let's see if he's ok...

-Sio

"Where am I?", a hoarse voice whispered.

Dean could hardly believe it. He went to stand as Sam shook away the shock and moved to a chair closer to Mick. The younger Winchester looked between his brother and Mick before speaking, "Mick, you're in the bunker. It's us, Sam and Dean."

But Mick wasn't concentrating on them. He was awake however caught in a state of shock.

His eyes were open, wide and scared, looking toward the ceiling. It was obvious he was in a panic due to his rapid breaths and darting eyes.

He glanced over finally to Sam obviously trying to piece together what got him to this moment in time. At first he tried to speak again but then stopped, going to sit up. It was a mistake, he doubled in pain, his hands gripping at his head cursing out loud.

"Take it easy you've been hurt pretty bad", Sam said calmly leaning over Mick slightly trying to help.

A minute passed and the pain subsided leaving the man breathless and shaken. Mick closed his eyes before opening them again, like he wasn't sure he was awake. He still looked like death but at least he was conscious and functional.

"How am I here?", he said slowly looking around the room before fixating on the IV pole.

He then went to sit up only to be pushed back down by Dean, "Not yet, we don't want you keeling over just now."

Sam grabbed an extra pillow propping it behind the englishman so he didn't have strain to look around the room. But even so his eyes looked empty, his brow furrowed and lips pressed together.

A moment passed in silence before Sam spoke up, "How are you feeling?"

Mick reached up and touched the bandages around his head, "I'm fine...Could I possibly get some water?"

Sam nodded quickly, "Of course, be right back."

San looked at Dean passing on some silent words. They needed to find out what happened. He then left the room.

Dean cleared his voice, "There's no reason to keep a brave face, we know you're not fine. How much pain are you in?"

Mick closed his eyes opening them to show moist eyes brimming with unshed tears, "It's quite terrible, but I can manage."

"Right, I don't know if we can give you more of this good stuff", Dean said gesturing to the multiple bottles of medicine on the table, "I'm no doctor. Sam may know-

Dean frowned looking at Mick again who was looking at the IV in his arm.

"We really went all out. Hopefully you're out of the woods, this is the first time you've been fully conscious for about a day now", Dean said taking a sip of his beer.

"I appreciate that", Mick whispered, "I thought I was going to die…"

Dean swallowed, "You almost did. Mick, what happened? Who did this to you?"

Sam walked in with a glass of water and closed the door before giving it to Mick.

Mick took a shaky sip, coughing before Dean took it and placed the water on the side table.

"What happened?", Dean repeated again.

Mick shook his head, "I really don't know. It's all bits and pieces."

He took a second to go through the mess of memories coming back, "Was I shot?", he asked abruptly his voice shaking. Dean looked to Sam, this wasn't the conversation they were expecting. How much did he actually remember?

Sam nodded, "Yes, we think so. Do you remember anything maybe before it happened?"

Dean jumped in, "When you called you said someone was after you, after us? You mentioned Ketch."

It then all came back like a tidal wave and Micks face turned a sickly pale, "Arthur… he was there. I was at the safe house, answering for Renny's death, for losing Kelly and the Colt."

Mick bowed his head, "I broke the code, I was doing the right thing and she wouldn't listen."

"She?", Dean asked.

"Dr. Hess, elder of the British Men of Letters and Headmistress of Kendricks", Mick explained, "Before I could rest my case I felt this pain… when I came to I was in a pool of blood."

Sam sighed, "It must have been Ketch then, but to go as far as try to kill you? Why would he do that?"

Mick bit his lip, "I was in their way."

Dean shook his head, "That's messed up. I still don't understand how you got out of there."

Mick shrugged tiredly, "I had no choice. It's my fault this happened, they won't stop now."

Sam frowned, "What do you mean?"

Mick rubbed his eyes, "Hess has ordered the extermination of all American hunters."

Dean nearly choked on his beer, "You can't be serious. You can't just go around murdering people you disagree with".

"Hey, we will figure it out. Right now let's keep a level head", Sam said to Dean.

Dean nodded looking over at Mick, his hands grasped the sheets in front of him tightly, his lips pressed together.

"Sam, can we give Mick anymore meds?", Dean asked.

Sam looked at Mick realizing his pain and nodded, "Yes, sorry I should have given you awhile ago-

Sam added the fluid to the IV tube as Mick closed his eyes, "I'm fine…", he murmured.

Dean stood placing a hand on Micks shoulder, "No, you're not fine. But we'll be here until you are."

"Just get some rest", Sam said after giving a small smile.

Mick didn't know what to say. He never really had anyone look after him like this. Although he was in the British men of letters it was made clear that each of every one of them was expendable. He quickly learned his place was among books while Ketch prospered in elimination of monsters. They all had their job, and learned not to rely on one another.

But Sam and Dean cared, something Mick wasn't accustomed to. He felt his heart swell with a happiness he had never felt before,

"Thanks lads", he said grinning, "I'll give a shout if I need anything but you both look like you need a proper rest."

Dean shrugged, "Never an eight hours a day kind of guy, but I should probably get a few hours. Sam?"

The younger Winchester frowned looking to Mick, "You sure?"

Mick nodded, "Of course."

Sam looked unconvinced but conceded, "Alright then, we'll be right down the hall. I'll come and check on you in a few."

Dean had alreadygrabbed his laptop and was at the door, "Rest up buddy, glad you're ok."

Mick sighed, "Me too."

Then they left shutting the light so that the only source of light was a dim table lamp.

Mick knew he needed to sleep. He could hardly keep his eyes open and every movement felt cumbersome and slow.

And as the minutes passed in the dark he fell into himself and let the darkness take over.

He felt betrayed. Hurt, and lost. Losing his mind to rampant memories.

"I chose to do the right thing", he whispered to himself feeling tears well up in his eyes.

He wished for a stiff drink or a bottle of pills to take his mind off the burning thoughts. His eyes drifted to the table riddled with medicine and prescription bottles, but he forced himself to dismiss the urge.

Instead he closed his eyes focusing on each wheezing breath, in and out.

Until exhaustion took over.

When Sam returned to check on Mick, he found him asleep. He was on his side, arms awkwardly thrown in front of him and the sheets tangled around his legs.

Quietly he moved to check the IV stand.

It had only been two hours but Sam couldn't fall back asleep. He had only known Mick for a few months now but considered him a friend, and those came and went in his line of work.

Carefully he sat down on the wooden chair turning another lamp on before holding Micks wrist and checking for a pulse.

He looked at his watch, counting. His pulse was even better than before. They really had luck on their side.

"Sam?"

Mick was looking up at him, he looked slightly confused but mostly just tired.

"Hey, sorry I woke you. Just came to check in", Sam whispered.

"Thanks", he said trying to move against the bed frame, "How am I looking?"

Sam shrugged and took a seat, "Good, I mean considering what you've been through. Pretty good."

Mick sighed running a hand over his face, "In all honesty, I don't feel good."

Sam nodded, "I know, but trust me, you're near out of the woods. I'm afraid there isn't much else I can do."

"That's not what I meant", Mick whispered, "I just…"

Mick stopped for a second, "Its just, I failed. I failed you and the American hunters. I have to be frank with you Sam, Ketch will not stop. He will kill anyone, do anything to remedy this situation."

Sam didn't say anything. He was shocked and even scared but Sam couldn't find himself blaming Mick.

"We will deal with Ketch when the time comes but this isn't your fault. I mean, you did what you thought was right and at the end of the day, you have to live with your decisions", Sam explained, "I've done plenty of things I'm not proud of. Eventually you have to forgive yourself."

Mick felt his heart drop, he had learned to carry around the burden of guilt since Timothy. And with every misstep the burden weighed heavier and heavier on his mind.

He didn't know how to let go.

"I don't know if I can", Mick said honestly, "But I will try."

Sam smiled, "That's a start. Let me change you bandages while you're up."

Mick nodded sitting up further. Sam went and got an armful of supplies before putting gloves on each of his massive hands.

Mick moved to sit facing the wall as Sam stood behind him moving the IV stand over.

Unconsciously he flinched as Sam touched the bandage on his head and started to unravel.

"Let me know if this hurts you", Sam said sternly.

Mick didn't say anything, just grasping the sheets in front of him feeling an accumulation of sweat settle on his skin leaving a chill.

"Mick, remember to breath", Sam said placing a hand on his shoulder.

Mick didn't know why he was so nervous. He took a shaky breath in and out before feeling the air on his head.

Sam dropped the bundle of bandages on the table behind him, it was covered in dried blood. Looking he felt his stomach flip and head start to spin.

"Bleeding finally stopped. Just gonna clean it out some more and put new bandages", Sam said.

But Mick could barely process the words, he closed his eyes hoping it would help but felt his body go slack.

"Mick!", Sam called catching his shoulders before he fell forwards.

Sam came around in front of him, "Hey, Mick. Focus on me, what's going on?"

"Sorry, got dizzy", he mumbled trying to focus on Sam but instead saw double, "Feels like the first time I got legless."

Sam raised a brow but tried not to let Mick see he was worried.

"Here, try to lay down and maybe it'll pass. I'll finish up bandaging", Sam said.

The last thing he needed was Mick smashing his head.

Mick nodded falling to his stomach resting his hands under his head. The next few minutes were agony.

"Sorry", Sam said as he flushed the wound with solution earning a hoarse cry. Mick felt like hell, his whole body was shaking as Sam finished bandaging his head.

"Done", Sam announced looking over Mick who was breathing heavily with his eyes pressed closed, "Mick… you're going to be alright. I'm sorry, I know that was rough."

Mick felt unconsciousness pressing against his mind, he doubled against it. It was embarrassing enough to be a sobbing mess in front of Sam.

"I'm fine", he lied moving his hands so he could push himself up, but he didn't expect his arms to feel like jelly.

Sam had moved to place the supplies he had retrieved to the side and throwing out the used gauze.

The younger Winchester felt awkward seeing this side of Mick, completely vulnerable. He only saw Mick break down that one time after letting Eileen go after warring with the code. It seemed now he was afraid of asking for help despite his obvious struggling.

"I know this isn't easy", Sam started, placing the last of supplies down, "But there is no shame is asking for help, especially among friends."

He placed a hand on Micks shoulder helping him come to sit at the edge of the bed. Mick was flustered, his breathing heavy and hand resting on his chest.

Mick looked up at Sam with clear blue eyes, "I know how to ask for help", he whispered averting his gaze.

Sam took a seat across from him on a wooden chair, "Then what is it?"

Mick swallowed deeply, "I am afraid I do not deserve it."

Sam looked at Mick who seemed deep in his own thoughts. It was the look Mick got in the kitchen a few weeks back after speaking of his childhood.

"I can't stop thinking about it Sam. Since I woke up", he stammered, "You should have left me to die."

"Thinking about what?", Sam asked confused, "What's going on?"

Mick shook his head, "I'm sorry I can't seem to control my emotions. I don't know what's happening."

Sam was warned this could happen. Micks had undergone trauma with unknown consequences, his brain although intact from what Sam could tell had suffered from the shot. Behavioral changes were to be a side-effect. They were lucky it wasn't worse than this.

"It's common with head injury", Sam said quickly, "There's no need to be alarmed. It should subside."

Mick didn't look convinced but didn't say anything. Sam wasn't about to let this go, whatever Mick was thinking about was heavy. He didn't want to force the man to talk about it, yet Sam knew that look. It was eating him up.

"Talk to me, I know you don't want to but you can't go on like this", Sam urged, "We've all done things we're ashamed of."

Mick looked up, tears forming on his eyes but he just cursed pursing his lips, "Before I say anything further, I wish to convey that if you wish me to leave after this. I would understand."

Sam nodded. Not that he would ever kick Mick out.

Mick sighed, "As you know I was schooled at Kendricks."

"Hogwarts for hunting", Sam smiled.

Mick cracked a grin but it faded quickly, "Yes, well besides being taught about monsters we were conditioned to be ruthless and above that expendable agents. We were taught that in this job, our lives were dedicated to the extermination of monsters and casualties were to be expected."

"I stayed because I thought I was doing the right thing. That was until I faced an impossible challenge", Mick stopped.

"Mick, death is a part of hunting, as much as I wish it weren't. We lose hunters all the time", Sam said.

"The challenge, was not against a monster. I was locked in a room by Dr. Hess with my best friend at the time Timmy-

Mick stopped, looking at the ground, "Hess said only one of us would leave the room and placed a blade on the desk beside us. Sam, I killed Timmy. He pleaded but I didn't listen. I am a monster."

Sam felt his stomach drop, "How old were you?"

"Twelve.

"Jesus Mick…", Sam breathed, "That's bad man, I'm sorry but you do understand that it's not your fault."

"How do you mean?", Mick said incredulously. He knew he shouldn't have told Sam, but the burden was heavy and he was weak.

"Hess gave the orders, if it wasn't Timmy it would have been you- and I bet that if both of you took a stand she would have killed both of you", Sam shuddered. This woman, Dr. Hess seemed like a nightmare. Who would do such a thing to children?

Mick shook his head, not knowing how to respond. All these years he blamed himself, Hess was the closest thing he had to a parent. Not that she had any motherly qualities.

"That doesn't change the fact that I killed an innocent, have continued to kill innocents", Mick looked up to Sam, "All for the code."

Sam couldn't hide his shock. Mick had killed that girl in Wisconsin- she was a werewolf but ultimately innocent. Yet, they had all done unspeakable things…

It was then the door opened to show Dean with one hand holding his laptop open and the other on the door. His face was riddled with confusion.

"I just got an email", Dean announced eyes glued to Mick.

Sam raised a brow, "So? From who?"

Dean looked to Mick and then back to Sam, "From Mick."

They were all sitting around the table in the map room. Mick had insisted on the removal of his IV and joined the Winchesters. Sam wasn't pleased but didn't press him.

It had been two days since he had been shot by Ketch and his anger toward the man seemed to increase by the minute.

Just reading through the email on Dean's laptop he felt his heart race and teeth clench, Ketch was his friend. He was a friend, perhaps his only friend in the British Men of Letters. Immediately he could tell from the language of the email it was him.

"Its Ketch", Mick said after a minute pushing the laptop back toward Dean, "It seems he doesn't know I'm here yet."

Sam raised a brow, "Of course not. How would he know?"

Mick shrugged, "He most likely knows I escaped. Where else would I go?"

"Right", Dean said sipping his beer, "But now Ketch expects us to go to Wisconsin to track this case, this is wrong. We're not going right?"

Sam nodded, "Of course not, it's obvious he's trying to lure us somewhere."

Mick was quiet, a hand rubbing his own tired eyes before sighing, "Yes, but you must go. If you don't go, he will suspect you're hiding something."

Dean chuckled, "So what? We can take that bastard down."

Mick just about rolled his eyes but winced as his head flared in pain before looking to Dean, "I don't doubt that however it's not just Ketch. He has all of the British Men of Letters behind him. It won't be easy. It would be best to play along until we can make a plan."

Sam shook his head in disbelief, "And what about you?", he said looking at Mick.

"I could tag along?", Mick said hesitantly.

"No, Mick. In case you forgot you were shot not two days ago. It's a miracle you're even alive right now. You couldn't handle a hunt, you could barely make it down the hall", Sam responded sternly.

"Sammy", Dean said trying to calm him down, "It's ok."

Mick sighed, "No Dean, Sam's right. Then I don't have to go to Wisconsin, I could stay here in the bunker."

"Alone?"

"Why not?", Mick said now irritated, "I don't need a sitter. I can take care of myself."

Sam raised a brow scoffing, "Really? Then walk back to your room on your own, go ahead-

"Sam", Dean interrupted sharply.

Mick didn't understand Sam's sudden burst of anger, feeling himself grow more irritated. He was not helpless. But instead of lashing out he stared at the bruises along his arm where the IV once was. The blotchy purple mess was the least of his worries and yet at the moment it was bothersome. Maybe it was the only thing he could comprehend healing at the moment… in a few days it would be gone unlike the gunshot.

The younger Winchester had stopped his attack looking away from Mick and to the table, "Sorry, I don't know why…sorry."

Sam stood looking to Dean before leaving the room, "I need some air."

Dean watched as Sam left the room before returning to his beer. After a minute he spoke to Mick, "You're right, we have to take the case in Wisconsin. But we'll wait a few days before we go, just to be safe", Dean said slowly.

Mick nodded, "I didn't mean for all this to happen, I wish I could go back and stop all this nonsense."

Dean chuckled, "Don't we all. But this is where we are at. Sam's not angry you know".

Mick frowned, "He seemed pretty angry."

"He's worried, I mean we both are", Dean said sincerely, "We didn't know what happened and when we found you off the road…"

Mick waited watching as Dean furrowed his brows, obviously upset, "Sam and I have seemed some messed up shit but I don't think we ever expected to find you half-dead covered in your own blood. It's just been a rough few days. Nothing new to us".

Mick dropped his head, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for you two to find me, but I'm grateful."

Dean smiled slightly before looking over toward the direction Sam went. He was worried about his brother, which again wasn't anything new, but it had been awhile since he had seen Sam like that. It was obvious Sam was concerned about Mick. Not that Dean wasn't, he was but knew that Sam had become quick friends with Mick. They both were on the same book loving, nerd level that Dean couldn't understand.

"Let's get you back to your room, I have a feeling you're gonna pass out, then I'll see to Sam", Dean said eyeing him carefully.

But Dean was right. Mick was already exhausted, his eyes growing heavier by the second and his body ached in ways he didn't think was possible. But nevertheless Mick shook his head, "Talk to Sam, I'll still be here when you get back."

"You sure?", Dean said going to stand watching as Mick nodded.

"Positive", he smiled.

"Just call out if you need anything, I'll be right back", Dean said standing and heading in the direction Sam went.

Mick waited until he heard Dean's footsteps fade away before reaching out- and opening Dean's laptop. He felt a sense of guilt as he tapped his fingers along the keyboard, but it would be for he best. Or at least that's what Mick thought at the time.

Quickly he moved through encryptions and entered the British Men of Letters server. He stopped for a second waiting, however he did not hear the Winchesters so continued on going through folders until he found what he was looking for.

"Brilliant", Mick whispered to himself, his eyes dancing across the screen before settling on a file.

Clicking the file, he read through the contents. He felt his heart race, his mind piecing together what he had to do next and when.

This was it, he knew where Ketch would be.

Exiting the server, he erased all contents of his search history before putting the laptop back.

South Carolina.

Ketch was going to pay.

So, I didn't want to keep Mick bed ridden for too long. Some more hurt/comfort Mick next chapter hopefully. Any tips/comments are much appreciated. And to the Guest reviewer that keeps reviewing thanks!

-Sio