Buffy sensed him before he made his apprence known. That tingle she gets in the base of her spine and the sence of warmth in her very soul let her know he was near. She did have to admit though she was suprised. She hadnt seen Angel since they met after her return from the grave. Added to that, she heard through the demonic channels that he had fallen for..ugh..Cordelia, his resident seer. He had told her many times before that she had changed, that she wasnt the same shallow girl that she use to be, but she knew better. Cordelia had always been a bitch, and had always wanted Angel. She wormed her way into his life and got to stay there, seeing him everyday while she was left behind, unwelcome in his new life. It really bothered her that all the excuses Angel had given her about him not being able to give her the things she needed or deserved didnt seem to matter where Cordy was concerned. She was human too, but he didn't have a problem being with her. It hurt like hell. Oh, who was she kidding, alot of things hurt these days and she was on her last reserves of patience when it came to alot of things. Her friends, Watcher and those loud mouth potientials were driving her crazy.
"Might as well get it over with" she thought.
She turned around and couldnt help but gasp as she laid eyes on him. True he was covered in bruses and blood, but to her, he was still beautiful. Before she knew it, Angel had wraped her in a bone crushing hug like he hadnt in a while, before pulling back and kissing her like his life depended on it.
"Angel, what are you doing here? My god, what happend to you?"
"I had to get away, I needed to see you. I, well I just really needed to talk to you. I think you are probally the only one who will understand." Alot has happend lately and well I've come to some conclusions."
"Um, well my house is kinda crowded right now so no chance of privacy there...How about the mansion?"
"That works, come on...there is alot to discuss."
They made their way to the mansion in silence, each sneaking glances at the other when they thought the other wasnt looking. When they arrived, Angel lit a fire and settled on the couch with her.
"Ok, whats going on Angel, you look like hell...no offence."
"Ok, um..well there is a new player in town in LA. We call it the Beast. Its, so far impossible to kill. Their was raining fire, death and destruction everywhere...it's a real mess to put it lightly." "Though thats not all I wanted to talk to you about. Please listen to what I have to tell you before you talk, ok?" "You know about conner right?"
"Well, Ok...For a while I thought I was falling for Cordy...but some things happend recently that made me realize just how foolish I was to even contomplate that. She at one point was made a Higher Being, and then she came back with no memory of her life or anything until Lorne did a spell on her to help her regain them. When we finally talked, she told me that she loved me, but that she knew what I did as Angelus. I told her I never tried to hide what I did, but she said that she actually saw everything he did, felt how he felt, the joy and pleasure he got from it all, and because of that she could never be with me. I'll admit, at the time it hurt. WHat is worse is that a few hours after that I was out side and I looked through a window and saw her and MY SON having sex. MY SON! It was the ultimate act of betrayel. It showed me that everything I thought I knew about her was a lie. What ever her feelings were, if they were there at all, were negligible. After the fight with the Beast, I just got in the car and drove here, thinking. And, odd as it sounds, Angelus is the one who made me realize alot of things in my life. Buffy, since I left Sunnydale, I've been going down hill. He made me realize, or more so, face what I already knew. My life is a fucken joke now. Im not a Champion, Im falling apart and have been since I left you. All I wanted to do was make you proud of me like I am of you. My redemption was for you and I seemed to have lost track of that. I've had to change almost everything about my self to appease everyone else. I make rediculous jokes, act out, put on a smiley face for everyone there. My wardrobe has been changed, my sleeping hours, everything, and I, well, Angelus and I realized that most of that is Cordys fought. They all seem to forget IM a Vampire, not human, and anytime I get close to crossing the line they drew for me, I get guilt trips, and end up paying for it forever it seems. I'll admit I went a little crazy with the whole Darla thing, and I fired them, but it was for their own good, I wanted them safe, and at the time I was anything but. Later, when it was over, I ended up having to grovel for months, buy Cordy a new wardrobe because she said I OWED her, and ended up working for them, instead of them for me like it was suppose to be. Hell Wes stole my son, and gave him to my worst enemy, and still IM the one who is suppose to conform to their standerds...It's not right and Im sick of it.