Chapter Three: "King of Bagboys"
Present Day.
Randor, former king of Eternos, warrior of old, famed leader, father of He-Man and She-Ra, survivor, conqueror of great evils and one of the universes most powerful figures stood in the bathroom and readjusted his tie.
Then, after fixing that, he straightened his sleeves and stepped up to the counter and let lose his booming, commanding voice.
"Paper or plastic, ma'am?"
The woman, looking a bit startled, answered reluctantly. "Um . . . plastic."
Randor groaned inwardly. Back on Eternia, he had commanded legions of armies and even arm-wrestled He-Man himself - and won! But here, on Earth, he was reduced to . . . mere grocery store bag-boy with a small plastic name-tag that said: "MY NAME IS: 'RANDOR' - HOW MAY I HELP YOU?"
A nametag! The man should have had a crown made of the greatest golds and silvers. Instead, it's plastic coated onto paper! He muttered a curse word under his breath as he loaded the groceries into the shopping cart.
"Have a good day, ma'am," he boomed once again.
"Randor . . ."
He turned around and was faced by a tan, mustached man with dark-going-gray-going-bald hair. "Yes, John?"
The manager scoffed at the tone of his voice. "Randor, I don't appreciate that tone."
"I'm sorry sir."
"Randor, don't talk to the customers so gruffly."
"I'm sorry sir."
"Now don't make that mistake again. This is the third time this week that I've had to remind you."
"I know, sir, it's just . . ."
"And I see you didn't shave this morning."
"I'm sorry sir. I just didn't get the chance to. I was busy and - "
"Busy? Busy doing what?"
"I was just busy, sir."
"Right. Well, I'm gonna let you get away with it this time. But I want you to head back to the Frozen department and restock all that ice cream."
"But I just stocked it!"
"I read the lay-out wrong. We need it restocked."
Randor was growing impatient. "John, it is colder than a witch's nipple back there!"
John's eyes bulged. "Randor, you DO NOT talk that way in front of customers."
"I'm sorry."
"Now just get back to Frozen and talk to Danny. He'll tell you what to do."
"Right, right."
As Randor walked back towards the Frozen foods, he passed another bag-boy. "Hey, Randy, did you catch the game last night?"
"No. I was busy with Marlena."
"Ohhhhhh," the other bag-boy said. "Randy got some last night!"
"No. We were searching the Internet, Aaron. And the name is Randor, not Randy!"
"Right, right. Whatever."
Randor headed back to Frozen, rubbing his scrub. Oh, how he wished he still possessed his beard. But it had to be shaven for the sake of his job - Acme Fresh Market. Curse this store. Curse it to the very depths of Snake Mountain.
The former king couldn't believe the way this planet treated its people. There were people older than he was working this incessant job and they were war vets!
But this was only the tip of the iceberg, really. Somehow, Count Marzo had sleazed his way to become President of the United States. And despite knowing just how vile this man was, there was nothing Randor could do about it. Absolutely nothing.
Then there was more. Last year, after years of searching, NASA had finally found the wormhole that had taken Marlena to Eternia in the first place. Mark Blaze was the space advisor to Marzo and yet none of them (not even Andrea Steele) had revealed their knowledge of Eternia. Randor and Marlena seemed to endlessly debate about whether or not to come forward about it. They still, nearly eight months later, have yet to arrive at a decision. Randor was growing upset with Marlena over the situation, too. Hordak could have killed everyone in the entire kingdom by now.
Randor grunted.
After a few more hours of work, Randor headed home. This had been his fourth job since arriving on Earth. Not long after getting settled and reuniting with Marlena's sister Kristina, they were able to reach Alicia and Miguel, the children that had been involved in the famed 'Christmas Incident.' As luck were to have it, Miguel was a bit of a computer hacker. He helped Randor and Marlena establish their own identities on Earth.
Randor started his walk home. He didn't mind not being able to drive.
While Randor hated just about all of their time on Earth, Marlena was enjoying being back on her homeworld. Her reunion with Kristina brought a joy to her that Randor had only seen when she had been reunited with Adora.
Randor arrived home, which was an apartment above the garage. It was nice, but far from the Palace. All one room – kitchen, bedroom, living room. Marlena was sitting in front of the computer, typing away.
"Hello wife," Randor greeted.
"Hey," she replied and turned to him. "I put a pizza in the oven."
"Excellent."
He sat down on the bed, then fell back completely onto it. He missed his beard. He missed his people. He missed his bed.
"Marzo is about to make a statement," Marlena said then, looking at a new website.
"Oh?" Randor asked, sitting up. "Any guesses as to what it's about?"
"None."
"Hrm."
Randor turned on the TV and retrieved a beer. Marlena sat down next to him. President Marzo appeared on the screen.
"My fellow Americans, I come to you with a controversial yet important subject. As many of you know, we have recently rediscovered the wormhole that some years ago Colonel Blaze and Major Steele ran afoul of during their heroic mission to save the planet. This wormhole has been a hotbed of scientific study, specifically where it leads. For some time now, electro-magnetic surges have prevented probes from seeing the other end. But now, with breakthrough technologies, we have been able to view the other side of the wormhole and have found, indeed, another planet."
Marlena's eyes went wide. She grasped Randor's arm. His face was slack. So close, yet so far away.
"More than just another planet. A planet full of – what we can determine – is a highly aggressive, highly destructive people."
"WHAT?!" roared Randor at the television.
"Here now is the video footage we received."
The screen changed. There was a few seconds of static, followed by a horizon image of Eternia. Randor looked closely at the screen. Home . . .
Ships suddenly came roaring across. Silently, these Horde-class ships were under fire. The ships exploded in space. But then the other ship – the attacking one – came under attack itself. Randor recognized it as the vessel that Adam had left on for Primus.
After a few more minutes of orbital battle, the video was static again. Marzo once more appeared on the screen.
"As you can see, they do not take kindly to strangers. We fear that they will do what they have done to those starships to our cities. Can you imagine weapons that can destroy entire ships striking at New York? Or Los Angeles? Or Washington DC? I can. And I do not like what I imagining. That is why I have assembled a fighting force and a ship that can attack these aliens before they have a chance to attack us. Some will most certainly think of this as provocation of war. But it most certainly is not! It is guaranteeing our safety and security! We will strike hard and fast, not giving them the chance to invade and destroy our way of life! As God as my witness, we will have peace for this world! Good night, my brothers and sisters, and God bless America!"
The screen went off.
"We're going to have to stop him. You know this, right?"
"Right," Marlena responded.
Randor stood up and pulled out his Honor Sword. "Vacation's over, sweetheart."