Failure's Not An Option Chapter 4: Strain, a ncis fanfic

"It's got to be decaf," Kate said, shaking her head.

"High test," Gibbs responded.

"Don't you twitch?"

Gibbs balanced the cup in the palm of his hand. "Nope," he said, giving her a quick grin.

Gibbs gave the two an engaging grin. "It was a seven-iron."

Ducking his head with a smile as Tony looked in shock at McGee.

Grinning at Abby companionably during Ducky's monologue.

Gibbs' boyish smile as he said, "Pleease?"

"Kate?" She turned with a start at the sound of Tony's voice.

"Sorry," she said ruefully. "I was just thinking, I can't imagine this place without Gibbs."

"You sound like you think Gibbs dying is a foregone conclusion," Tony said, his voice raising with each word. "You're just giving up on him?"

"No, Tony...I didn't mean..."

"Well that's the second time you've brought that up!" Tony's eyes flashed. "So, go ahead, Kate. Give upon him if you want to. But I'm not." He turned to Abby. "Come on, I'll give you a ride over to the hospital."

Ducky watched from his chair at Gibbs' bedside as the sun slowly set beneath the clouds. The window of Gibbs' room faced west and the amber hues could be seen streaking across Gibbs' face, giving a hint of color to his cheeks. Despite the fever, his face had gotten paler in the last few hours and it was all Ducky could do to hold himself together. This man he thought of as his adopted son was dying.

"Jethro," Ducky said softly. "Do you remember that flu bug that went around NCIS a few years ago?"

Gibbs chuckled weakly. "You mean the one you passed on to me?"

Ducky smiled. "I still say you got it from Stan Burley on that six-hour flight you two shared on the way out to find that serial killer on the USS Kearny."

Gibbs grinned. "What about it?"

"Well, I was just thinking about how I lent you my BBC audio tapes of The Lord of the Rings while you were ill - since you were too sick to work on that...closet you were building." Ducky sniffed. "The only time, I might add, that I've seen any illness keep you from your woodwork."

"Ducky, first of all, that was not just illness." Gibbs' voice was labored as he spoke and he had to stop frequently to take another breath. "That was throwing up every hour on the hour for 13 hours straight." Gibbs closed his eyes for a minute, then opened them. "Secondly, that was a wardrobe, not a closet." He closed his eyes again.

When he didn't open them, Ducky quickly gave his shoulder a little shake. "Jethro, come on, stay with me." Gibbs opened his eyes again. "I wanted to ask you, did you ever get around to getting your own copy of them?"

A smile found its way to Gibbs' lips. "No," he answered, the word barely audible. He swallowed and tried again. "No."

There was a catch in Ducky's voice as he said, "I'll make you a deal. I'll buy you a set but you have to send this virus packing - with or without an antigen. You got that?"

For the first time since Ducky had met him, Gibbs' eyes actually looked scared. "Duck..." he whispered. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to do that." Quickly Ducky leaned closer.

"I mean it, Jethro. I'm not going to let you be the first Marine I saw give up."

Kate sat at her desk in silence, trying to concentrate and feeling McGee's eyes on her. Finally, and without looking at him, she said, "My second week with the Secret Service, I watched one of my coworkers take two hits to the center of the chest from a sniper rifle. Everybody - the doctors, other agents - they all said he wouldn't make it. But I refused to give up on him. I sat by his bed for three days, hoping and praying. Then on the third day, he flatlined right in front of me, and the doctors couldn't bring him back." She looked at McGee. "That's when I learned that just because we're the good guys doesn't mean we're all going to get a happy ending."

McGee nodded. "I've got a sister, ten years older than I am who's a paramedic. I'd watch her come home after losing a patient and wonder how she could keep going seeing people die all the time. Then we had a little girl go missing at our Church family camp. Only 4 years old. It was out by Pikes Peak and it was cold, rainy. There was a creek nearby she could have fallen into. I'm walking through the woods, 14 years old, in the dark with a flashlight, and all I can think of is having to tell that mom her kid is dead. I mean, the mom was single and her little boy had died earlier that year of Leukemia. And now one of us was going to have to tell her that her other child had died."

Kate's eyes glistened with tears. "What happened?"

"I came out of the woods by the creek, looked at the debris rushing past, and I saw by this fallen tree trunk this bright magenta poking through. And it's the little girl, tucked into a crook of a branch of this tree that was kind of bridging the creek. And she's alive. She's soaked to the skin and crying her heart out, but she's alive." McGee shook his head. "I've seen parents find lost kids before at potlucks, the mall. But bringing that child back to her mom was like nothing I've ever seen in my life. All I could think was..."

Kate's voice was quiet. "What if you'd given up?"

"No. That we can't fully appreciate the happy endings we get unless we get a few bad ones too." Kate shook her head.

"Why are you telling me this?"

McGee shrugged. "Why don't you head over to the hospital for a bit? I'll cover here." Kate nodded, stood up, and made her way over to the elevator.

When Kate got to the hospital ICU she found Tony and Ducky watching through a glass window. Kate took a deep breath and walked over to them. "How is he?"

Ducky's voice was soft. "The rash has started and he's got a fever. If he doesn't get that antigen soon, we're going to lose him."

Kate looked at Tony. "About what I said. Tony smiled and touched her arm.

"I know, me too," he said softly. They both turned and watched through the glass.

Inside the room, Abby was sitting ont he side of Gibbs' bed, trying not to cry. "I brought you something, Gibbs," she said softly. Reaching over to the nightstand she grabbed a Starbucks' frappucino. "Caramel frappucino. Thought it was time you saw what you were missing. " She held the straw to Gibbs' lips. He took a sip and grimaced.

"You're lucky I don't have the strength to sign what I think Abbs," Gibbs said weakly. Abby gave a half laugh-half sob.

"You mean you'd sign the same thing I signed to my dad after tasting his spaghetti sauce with black olives in it and he made me clean out the garage as punishment?"

Instead of replying, Gibbs' body stiffened. He gasped once, gave a convulsive shudder, then his eyes closed and his head lolled limply to the side.