"In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there," Sarah McLachlan

I've been working hard this past week or so, taking care of the baby mostly. I never knew how much care new babies needed. I know I thought about it, but honestly, I pretty much figured that he would only need a little something every couple of hours. As it turns out they need constant attention. We made a sort of make shift carrier and I walk around with Alexander strapped to my chest, doing whatever I can around the house.

He's amazing, a miracle and I truly love him. I love my new life. Everything here is great, and I'm happy. I have a family. It's about 1:00 and the baby is fussing so I put him in the crib and kiss his hair. Alex falls asleep quickly, which is new for him. I don't think he likes the crib very much. If he could, he'd spend 24 hours a day in Clark, Martha's or my arms.

Most of the time, if we put him in the crib, he'll scream and fuss for at least fifteen minutes and then he'll cry for a few minutes but it's not sad crying. It's just "pay attention to me," crying. Even still, I hate to hear him cry and I wish he could go through his whole life and never need to cry. But as for today, he's perfect. He just closes his eyes and then he's out like a light.

That should have been my first sign that there was something different about today, something wrong even. I'm just so grateful for his not putting up a fight that I hardly even think about it. I'm a little worried and so I go over and check and see, just in case he might be hurt or sick. I put my hand on his chest. His little heart is beating strong and smooth and he is breathing too. Alexander's good. No, he's perfect.

The second thing that should have sent up warning flares is the fact that the baby and I are completely alone. Clark and Martha went to the farmers market, and they're gonna be gone for the whole afternoon. I don't completely understand all of this farming stuff, but it's not like it matters. I like it here and I like the Kents. I even feel like I'm one of them, like I belong.

After Alex falls asleep, I realize that I haven't eaten anything all day. So, I walk into the kitchen and start making myself a sandwich. I've got so much stuff in my hands that I almost drop the mayo, trying to close the fridge. That's when it hits me. I'm all alone. The baby is asleep, and the Kents are gone. For some reason, this scares me, a lot. I feel like I ought to wake the baby just so I can have someone to talk to. Only I know I can't do that.

All the time that I am thinking if I should wake Alexander up or not, I'm so absorbed in my own thoughts that I completely forget my sandwich. I can't hear anything either. I don't hear the car pull up to the house even though this place is basically deserted. I don't hear the door slam or the footsteps walking up to the front door. I don't hear anything, not until the doorbell rings. It's loud and disturbing and it even scares me a little, but mostly it just pisses me off.

So I go and answer the door, ready to rip whomever almost woke the baby up a new one. I go to the door and I yank it open and I step outside, closing it softly. I don't close it all the way, just in case Alex starts crying and I turn to the guy on the front stoop and shout, "what?" before I realize who it is.

"Well, Lex, it is certainly nice to see you too," my father, says, looking around, before placing his hands on my waist. "Now, are you going to invite me inside, or do you want to do this out here?" I wish I could be strong enough to push him off me and make him leave, but he still has this power over me, and I let him inside. Lionel doesn't see the room with an open door and the crib at first. I try to hide Alexander by offering up myself like a sacrificial lamb.

"Can we take care of whatever you want from me quickly, Dad? The Kents are gonna be back in two maybe three hours."

"Now, now. Do you really think the only reason I came all the way out here was for," he places a hand on the crotch of my pants and I have to bite down on my lip with all my strength to keep from whimpering. "I wanted to see how you were doing," he leans over me, unbuttoning my jeans.

"Yeah, sure," I whisper, looking away. Then the baby starts crying and he lets go of me to hunt him down. By the time I get my pants back up and into the baby's room, Dad is leaning over the crib with his hand on my son. Suddenly, all of my fear melts away as I rush over and push Lionel off of him. My father falls to the floor.

"What the Hell is wrong with you, Lex?" he shouts, standing back up, and brushing himself off.

"You stay away from my son!" I shout without thinking. Shit. I did not want him to know that.

"Ah, Lex. You should have told me that there had been a birth in the family," he says smiling, and touching my face.

"I'm not part of your family anymore. Remember? You had me disinherited and everything. I signed the fucking papers."

"I want you to know that I haven't had those papers processed yet. I knew you wouldn't want to stay here forever. I wanted to give you the opportunity to come back home, if you wanted."

"This is my home. I'm part of a family here. One where I don't have to put up with being molested and raped by my so called father."

"Is this what you really want Lex?" he asks and I know by his tone that he is hiding something from me.

"You are not going to do to my son what you did to me, what you would have done to Julian. Now get out!" My father raises his hand slowly and it lands on my shoulder before I even have a chance to think, disabling me completely and sending my body falling to the floor. Then his hands are on me as my pants slide down to my ankles.

And then he hurts me, but I can't do anything. I can't even move. Alexander is crying and my father is whispering in my ear that if this is what I really want, then after he is done, he will leave me alone, for good. After he finishes, I can only watch as he stands up, zipping his pants.

"Goodbye, Lex. I'll have those papers processed tomorrow. Take good care of that baby, Son. If anything were to happen to you, I would easily win any type of custody battle." After he says this, my father kicks me in the ribs and walks out the door.

Alex is screaming his little head off and as soon as whatever Lionel did to me wears off, I pick him up an the two of us rock back and forth together, until everyone gets home. Clark comes up starts and when he sees the two of us on the floor, he races over.

"Lex, what happened?" he cries, wrapping his arms around Alex and me.

"He came back. He—said it would be the last time but he—," I can't finish, but it doesn't seem to mater. Clark just rocks with us, kissing the side of my head, and whispering in my ear.

"I'm sorry, Lex. I'm so sorry. I should never have left you alone. It's okay now. That's not gonna happen again. I'm gonna protect you now."

"He knows about the baby. Oh God, he—Alexander was in the room when he—you know. He saw it. I can't believe I let that happen to him too."

"No, Lex, what happened wasn't your fault. Look, he's not gonna hurt you ever again, and he won't hurt Alex either. It's gonna be okay. I promise."