Chapter IV
- Eurgh… where am I? I feel like crap.

- Hospital?! What the – ?!

- I did what? No I didn't.

- Look, doc, I'd know if I took a bunch of fucking pills.

- Yeah, I was on some pills, to help me sleep. My roommate has a fairly vibrant nightlife, if you get what I'm saying.

- Whatever, I still feel like crap, and why would I ingest a whole bottle of… Oh. Right, I see. You think I tried to…

- Yeah fucking right you're not here to make assumptions. Well you can fuck off; I didn't try to kill myself.

- How are a bunch of psychiatrists going to help? They don't know anything about me. Look, ask my friends, I'm not suicidal.

- What? Joey's been here? Where is he now?

- Can I see him?

- Later? Some fucking great doctor you are.

---

- Hey man.

- Yeah, I'm doing fine.

- What the hell does that mean? I'd say I wasn't fine if I wasn't.

- Joe, I honestly have no idea why I'm here.

- Whatever, how are the others?

- You sent them home? Well why did you stay then?

- Oh.

- Well if they'll be so pleased shouldn't you call to tell them?

- Oh God Joe, I don't want to 'talk'.

- Well what do you want me to say?

- There's nothing to talk about.

- I already told you, I don't know why I'm here!

- Joey, I didn't… want to kill myself.

- I can't remember whether I tried to, but even if I did… I didn't mean to.

- I got those pills because I was falling asleep at work, Monica advised me to.

- Fucking hell Joey, I know she didn't advise me to do… this, but it happened, OK, can't you just… get over it? Pretend it didn't? This is a totally awkward and embarrassing situation for me.

- Well I'm sorry for making you feel that way.

- Sorry for taking the pills? Actually… no, I don't think I am.

---

- Alright, so now the others have gone I suppose you're wanting to have another little 'talk'.

- No we don't have to talk about this Joey, no we don't. We could just go on living and pretend it never happened.

- I told you, I don't know why I did it either!

- No, you can't help, no, it's not serious and no, it won't happen again. Do you want to go now?

- Joey, please, don't do this.

- Well for fuck's sake Joe, if you're my 'best friend' and you 'care about me' you could have noticed what was going on! You could have stopped sleeping with every single fucking woman in New York, just for a few weeks, or days even, just so I could get back to sleep for a while and wasn't in danger of losing my job! Not to mention the squalor, when do you get the time to change you're sheets, Joe? That's right, you don't, and occasionally when I think of the last 25 women you've had naked in there I have to fucking change them for you, and – and how do you think it makes me feel, Joey? In our apartment? How do you think it feels knowing that every girl you've got in that room would never even look twice at me, like I'm some kind of freak, some kind of twisted monster, created by two other monsters because they're determined to ruin the world with their foul, corrupted existence and – and the only person I thought could never look at me like that, would never ever trade me in was my best friend, was you Joey, but what am I to you now? I'm a combination of a fucking bank and a wall decoration; I'm surprised you've even noticed I'm in here since you've been on Days of our fucking Lives all you've done is sleep with co-stars and extras and anyone you could lay you're hands on as if I weren't there any more Joe. Where do I fit in when you find one who's perfect and leave me on my own? So just FUCK your self-righteous bullshit. Now… please can you just drop it and fuck off.

- No I'm not crying. The disinfectant in this room is stinging my eyes.