Back at the S-mart out in the parking lot…
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Pepper asked.
"Long range sensors show no nearby zombie activity, you should be fine." Tony told her.
"No, I mean you staying behind." She corrected.
"No worries, I'll be fine." He assured her as she leaned in close for a kiss.
Afterward he opened the door of his car for her and she got in.
"Get her out of here." He told Happy.
"Yes, sir." He said as he drove off.
Tony watched them leave and then headed back inside. Meanwhile Marcus has been tied to a chair despite his protests. Hid wound had been tended to but they weren't taking any chances.
"Zombies huh? Well, wouldn't be the first time. I've got deadites constantly crashing this place like you wouldn't believe. Damn things throw themselves at the store like a suicidal fly kamikazeing a bug zapper. You've got a better chance of keeping a pedophile away from a playground, you know what I mean?" Ash pointed out, much to the discomfort of everyone present.
"So how long do we wait?" Sam asked.
"Well in the movies it can take anywhere from a few seconds to several hours depending." Dean confessed.
"Dude, this isn't a movie."
"I know that damnit! But I got nothing else to go on and I ain't letting him out of that chair until I'm sure!" Dean cursed.
"Don't talk about this like I'm not in the room!" Marcus shouted angrily.
"Listen pal, we're sorry, but we really need to be sure." Dean told him.
"It's okay Marcus, it's probably nothing but we gotta be positive." Hit-Girl assured him.
"She's right sir. Of all the zombie types that we've encountered we've never actually came across any that turned others through bites." Sam added.
"This should help.", Tony said as he ran a sample of Marcus' blood through the scanner he used back when he was suffering from palladium poisoning, "If there's even the slightest irregularity in his blood we'll know in just a few seconds."
"I just want out of this damn chair!" Marcus grumbled.
"Here, maybe this'll cheer ya up?", Ash suggested showing him a poster of his favorite Penthouse model, "Oh and another thing," He proceeded to say turning to everyone else nearby, "I don't give a rat's ass if it is the end of the world. If you break anything you're buying it or I'll take it out of your assess! Is that understood?"
"Oh boy, this ain't good." Tony confessed as the blood tester finally gave a reading.
"What?" Marcus asked nervously.
"What's it say?" Sam asked.
Tony turned it around to reveal a blood toxicity rate of 67%.
"Whatever is in the officer's bloodstream it's acting fast." Tony told them.
"Oh crap, we are in a Romero flick!" Dean complained.
"So, what does that mean? What do we do?" Marcus stuttered on the verge of panic.
"Can you guys cure him?", Hit-Girl implored turning back to Sam and Dean, "You guys know all about this supernatural stuff right?"
"There's no cure for any kind of zombieism that we know of." Sam admitted.
"Bullshit! Do something you dicks!" Hit-Girl raged, her outward anger masking the despair she felt at losing the only other person in her life that she considered family.
Suddenly Castiel appeared in the room with Constantine, Blade and Buffy.
"Cass?" Dean said.
"Hello Dean."
"And just who the Hell are you guys?" Ash demanded.
"I am Castiel, this is John Constantine, Buffy Summers and Blade." He answered.
"Cass we're glad you're here, we've got a situation." Dean explained.
"Yes, I can see that." Cass observed looking at Marcus.
"Can you cure him?" Sam asked.
"No."
"What? Why not? You've healed people before, you even brought Bobby back from the dead. You pulled me out of Hell for Christ's sake!" Dean spoke with a confused expression.
"The force that has come to Earth, raised the dead and infected this man is greater than my own. It's power would simply cancel mine out." He told them.
"So I suppose modern medicine would be of little use here?" Tony pondered aloud.
"Unfortunately, yes."
But just then Marcus began to convulse violently as the veins all over his body began to pulse and bulge in an unnatural manner. As everyone turned their attention to him he suddenly went limp and hung seemingly lifeless in the chair.
"Marcus? Marcus!" Hit-Girl cried out rushing over to him as she grabbed his head and raised it back up.
But his eyes snapped back open and with an inhuman shriek he sank his teeth into Hit-Girl's hand. With a pained scream she recoiled clutching at the wound as Dean yelled for everyone to stand back. Tony tried to follow after Hit-Girl but she shrugged him off and took off running. In an instant Ash stepped up with his boomstick in hand leveling it at Marcus' head.
"Wait!" Castiel called out, "It can still be useful." Cass stated as he strode up and abruptly punched his fist into the zombie's gut with a flash of light as the creature howled in misery.
"What are you doing?" Dean asked.
"I believe the term you humans use is, reach out and touch someone."
"So, what? You're making a phone call?" Sam guessed.
"In a manner."
"I don't even want to know where the receiver is." Dean observed.
The thing that was once Marcus suddenly emitted a terrible high pitched scream that forced anyone in the room that was merely human to clutch their ears in pain.
Finally Cass yanked his arm back out as the thing that was once Marcus stopped wailing and went limp once again.
"Fantastic, ruptured ear drums is exactly what I wanted for Christmas." Ash fussed.
From another part of the store a scream was suddenly heard. Everyone turned in the direction they came from to see Hit-Girl walking back up to them wrapping the now cauterized bite wound.
"My God." Dean muttered.
"Kid are you okay?" Sam asked.
"I'm fine." She said with tears of pain still in her eyes.
"Are you sure maybe we should-"
"I said I'm fine damnit!" She hissed, angry at herself more than anyone else as she wrapped up her injured hand.
After that Castiel leaned in close to the body.
"I know you're there. Come out and face me…Gudis."
A moment later a low soft laughter could be heard coming from Marcus, a laughter that built in volume as Marcus' voice changed in pitch until it was deep and booming. After this its head tilted up to look at everyone but remained silent.
"Nothing to say? Since when have you ever been at a loss for words?" Castiel questioned.
"How about a rhyme?" Gudis suddenly said as his head snapped up, "There was a young lady named Alice, who used dynamite for a phallus. They found her vagina, in North Carolina, and part of her asshole in Dallas!"
"Okay, I know I've said this like million times tonight already but seriously, what the Hell?" Dean spouted.
Likewise, everyone else present was equally stunned.
"Wow, tough crowd," Gudis began to say, "Okay how about this one? There once was a Nazi from Bardy, who invited his friends to a party! But instead of making stew they cooked up a jew!-"
"Enough!" Castiel berated cutting him off, "Why have you returned?"
"Well, isn't it obvious? To take possession of this world of course. With both Heaven and Hell consumed by chaos now was the perfect time after all."
"That doesn't work for me, I've got a Victoria's Secret fashion show to attend in New York next week." Tony disapproved comically.
"Oh don't worry it'll still be there, and so will they, just in several pieces of course." Gudis shot back.
"What are you?" Buffy asked angrily.
"You know who I am slayer, this isn't the first time we've met."
"What?"
"In Sunnydale on the Hellmouth you and your little girl scout troop faced off against legions of my Turokhan and achieved what you thought was a victory, until just recently that is."
"The First Evil? That's impossible. We destroyed you! We closed the Hellmouth and wiped out your entire army!"
"Foolish child. You can't kill evil. As for my army? It was just one of many."
"But we restored the balance, you shouldn't be here." Buffy protested.
"Indeed you did my dear. But others have succeeded in throwing the natural order of things into chaos in ways that your resurrection didn't even come close to." Gudis revealed shifting his gaze to Sam, Dean and Castiel.
"Why the Hell are you looking at us for?" Dean bemoaned.
"Do you really need me to answer that question? You and the angels are responsible for my return. The entire attempted apocalypse debacle has thrown the whole of the cosmos out of alignment. I'm amazed that existence itself hasn't just taken a big fat shit on itself and blown up."
"We ain't done yet." Buffy interrupted stepping in front of Gudis, "You hurt someone very close to me. And you will pay for it." Buffy threatened fearlessly.
"Then your stupid little bitch witch should've minded her own business." Gudis growled as Cass had to hold Buffy back, "What the Hell did you fucktards think I was going to do when I got here, open a convent? Death, misery, bloodshed and intestines are what's always on my menu."
"Interesting choice of words, the diner in D.C. was clearly your handiwork." Cass accused.
"What, that? Merely stretching my legs is all. Do you have any idea just how long its been since I've inhabited a corporeal body? Had to make sure I wasn't rusty, but hey whadda ya know, just like riding a bike."
"You really like the sound of your own voice don't you?" Blade sneered.
"Yes, actually I do, it just so happens I have a splendid singing voice too."
"Whatever your plan, we will stop you." Cass warned.
"Is that so? Leading the charge are we? You suddenly daddy's favorite now? Well, I suppose with Michael and Zachariah out of the way that does open the door for you a bit doesn't it? Amusing considering your track record. The last time an angel rebelled he was cast out. You on the other hand were brought back from death, twice no less. What makes you so special? Doing favors for the boss perhaps? Apparently you've been getting on your knees for something other than praying." Gudis taunted with a sick smile, "It's just as well, soon my offspring will inherit the Earth and angel, demon and mortal alike will get bumped down to the bottom of the food chain, well actually you will be the food more to the point."
"Offspring?" Dean asked.
"Indubitably. Just what do you think you've been hunting all these years Dean? God may have created angels and mortals, and Lucifer demons. But who do you think it was that created all the things that slink, fly and or lumber through the dark of the night or for that matter the light of day?"
"The monsters. You. You're their father?" Sam realized.
"Got a real sharp one here don't we?" Gudis joked.
"The pick up in monster activity, it was an omen, a sign of your coming." Constantine discerned.
"My my, you mammals really are almost intelligent aren't you." Gudis teased further.
"I think we manage." Tony retorted.
"Mind your tongue microbe, what I know about the vast cosmos would fry your petty little brain and make the combined IQ of your entire bloodline look like a bunch of slobbering Cro-Magnons."
"Shove it douche bag!" Hit -Girl hissed.
"You're insane." Buffy threw in.
"Still full of piss and vinegar are we? Oh please, here I sit in a room full of manic depressant/sociopaths with Daddy issues and you think I'm the crazy one?" Gudis cruelly jeered.
"Okay, can we kill him now?" Dean grunted.
Before anyone could even say anything a shotgun blast tore through Gudis' torso. Everyone turned to see Ash with his boomstick outstretched and still smoking.
"Do those things ever work?" Gudis complained.
"As you can see, it isn't that simple." Cass said.
"Indeed it isn't. And before this night is done I'll be wearing all of your entrails like Mardi Gras beads." Gudis threatened.
Just then Constantine pointed his gun at Gudis' head.
"No" Hit-girl protested.
"C'mon kid, ya know it's gotta be done." He told her.
"You're right…that's why I'm gonna be the one that does it." She countered.
John finally turned to look at her and then slowly lowered his gun before backing away. Hit-girl then drew her own gun and raised it toward Marcus. She seemed to hesitate for a moment, it was then that Tony spoke up.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"You don't have to if you don't want to." Dean added.
"No…it has to be me." She pressed on.
A few more moments went by with Hit-Girl staring at Marcus, her finger resting over the trigger of her gun.
"Do you really think you have the guts? To shoot your beloved foster father?" Gudis ridiculed. He then began speaking in Marcus' voice as he proceeded to cry and plead for her to spare him.
"Please Mindy. Please don't kill me…" He sobbed.
For a moment there was a falter in Hit-Girl's stare, her eyes watering slightly, but still she didn't lower her weapon.
"You stupid little bitch! I never loved you! Who could, you're a demented murdering psychopath and so was your worthless father!"
"Shut up." She muttered.
"Oh just be honest with yourself, that's the real reason that your mother killed herself, she couldn't take it anymore! Living with a deranged maniac that she knew would turn you into one too! That's why she tried to kill herself and you! She hated your father and already hated you before you even squeezed out from between her legs!"
"I SAID SHUT UP!" Hit-Girl bellowed her gun hand shaking as she fumed with rage.
"Or you'll do what? You know I'm right! Go on, pull the trigger, if you can!" Gudis howled.
After several more moments, Hit-Girl finally spoke again, but this time very calmly.
"I'm sorry." She whispered with tears in her eyes.
"You're pathetic." Gudis insulted.
"I wasn't talking to you kunt. I was talking to Marcus…my other father." She proclaimed, "As for you…go f**k yourself." She swore finally pulling the trigger obliterating Gudis' skull.
"Is that it? Is he dead now?" Dean asked.
"No, that was merely a drone that Gudis chose to speak through." Cass explained.
"Was he telling the truth?" Buffy queried.
"He is what he said he was, the progenitor of almost every monster on the face of this planet. He is also a supremely powerful cosmic being as old as time itself. He is the true source of all evil."
"What? I thought that was Lucifer?" Sam suggested.
"No, what many tend to forget is that Lucifer was not born evil, he was once the most favored among the Lord's host of angels before he was corrupted by sin. It was Gudis who pushed him off that ledge. After Lucifer was cast out, Michael himself led a massive army of angels in a quest to seek out Gudis and make him pay for his blasphemy."
"What happened?" Hit-Girl asked.
"After a fierce battle that saw thousands of archangels slain, Michael struck what we thought was the killing blow."
"Thousands? I had no idea there were that many." Sam discerned.
"Before Gudis there was." Cass responded mournfully.
"And after that?" Blade threw in.
"We thought that Gudis was dead and that Lucifer had inherited his mantle so to speak."
"So it was kinda like a Morgoth Sauron kinda thing then?" Dean suggested trying to wrap his head around what Cass was telling them, but a confounded look was the only response that Cass gave him.
"Never mind." Dean dismissed.
"You're joking right? This clown can't be that tough." Ash insinuated.
"You have to understand that much like we angels Gudis' form and powers are greatly diminished here on Earth."
"That crack you made about the Chrysler building?" Dean recalled.
"Yes."
"So just how big is Gudis in his true form?" Constantine asked.
"I believe the recently finished Burj Dubai tower in the United Arab Emirates comes close."
"Holy shit!" Dean yawped.
"His power is enormous."
"But there's nothing about any of this in the bible?" Sam went on.
"There is in Hell's bible." Constantine offered.
"Hell has its own Bible?" Ash interjected.
"Yea." Constantine acknowledged.
"And you've read it?" Ash guessed.
"Yes."
"Oh what the Hell ever." Ash whined.
"So how do we stop him?" asked Buffy.
"I say we rip his lungs out through his ass." Hit-Girl offered.
"The kid's got my vote, the bloodier and messier the better." Ash added.
"If only it were that easy." Blade said.
"Probably pointless to ask, but how about more modern weaponry?" Tony asked.
"Nothing man made can stop him." Cass told him.
"I may have a suggestion." Crowley said appearing a few feet away unexpectedly.
"Crowley!" Constantine rumbled hatefully lifting his gun and firing only to have the former crossroads demon disappear.
"Hello John, you should really switch to decaf." Crowley joked suddenly on the other side of the room as everyone turned.
"You know him?" Sam asked Constantine.
"We've had dealings in the past." John replied not taking his eyes off the demon.
"Hey screwhead, Benny Hill called, he wants his lame accent back." Ash slandered.
"I'm Scottish moron. Besides, was I even talking to you nyaff?" Crowley snapped back as Ash stepped forward looking none too happy.
"I wouldn't advise-" Castiel began to say.
"Go piss up a rope Clarence.", Ash told him before going on, "Now I have no idea what you just said, but I'm pretty sure it was some kind of insult."
"Sorry, fraid I don't speak elementary school. You know you should really try reading a book. Oh wait that's right, the last time you opened one it didn't end so well for you did it?" Crowley finished as he began to snicker.
His laughter was cut short by the boomstick going off in his chest as he flew back against the wall before falling to the floor. But even then he still laughed.
"Ash Willams, when all else fails, shoot it. Well, I'll say this for you, you're entertaining, even if you do have the I.Q. of a jello mold." Crowley commented as he got back up off the floor.
"Haven't ran into too many things that could shrug off the boomstick in my time." Ash revealed.
"He's a demon…and a colossal prick." Constantine spoke.
"Now if you're done getting your knickers in a twist, I have information that you all may like to hear." Crowley claimed.
"And just why in the Hell would we trust you?" Blade commented.
"Normally at this point I'd simply tell the lot of you to get bent, but I need some assistance on this believe it or not."
"And just why is that? If you're the big bad super mojo king of Hell why would you need us?" Dean mocked.
"Not you troglodyte…him." Crowley confessed looking over at Castiel.
"You need my help?" Cass spoke surprisingly.
"Yes, as much as it pains me."
"And why would I help you at all?"
"Because if you don't, Gudis will turn this entire planet into his own personal playground. Trust me, what Lucifer had planned for this world was downright civilized by comparison." The demon explained as he slowly walked up to the angel until he was standing right in front of him.
Every impulse in Cass' body was screaming at him to smite the devil spawn right on the spot and Crowley could see it on his face.
"Temper temper my sappy little seraph. Not that I wouldn't love to see you try of course." Crowley grinned.
"Just what is it that your trying to sell us?" Dean questioned.
"A weapon, a weapon powerful enough to put Gudis in his place."
"Will it kill him?" Buffy asked.
"Not in a manner that humans would understand, but it will destroy his physical body and seal him away from this plane of existence. You can't truly kill evil, not in its purest form, simply beat it back."
"You don't mean…" Cass began to say.
"Absolutely." Crowley cut him off.
"What? What is he talking about?" Dean interrupted.
"Excalibur." Cass finally confessed.
"Excalibur? As in King Arthur and Merlin and knights and all that crap? You're kidding me right?" Dean scoffed.
"No, that was a myth, but the sword is real and a powerful weapon of light and purity."
"Which is why I need you to go fetch it." Crowley said to Cass.
"And how exactly is that? It has been lost for a millennia."
"Was."
"You found it? How?"
"Just like I said when I brought you Death's scythe last year, king of the crossroads, remember?"
"It was lost, what happened?" Tony asked.
"There was a time when Michael himself wielded Excalibur, it was what he used when the angels battled Gudis. But the sword itself has a will and lifeforce all its own. It cannot and will not allow itself to be used for evil or selfish purposes. When the archangels jumpstarted the apocalypse Michael went to retrieve it only to have the sword burn him when he grasped it. Afterward it removed itself from this reality never to be seen again, or so we thought."
"Alrighty then, this has certainly been educational, but how's about we get back to you actually finding the sword hmmm?" Crowley interrupted.
"Why does it have to be him?" Buffy inquired.
"Only a divine being or someone pure of heart can even seek out the sword or wield it. But even if we could get it there is no guarantee that it alone will be powerful enough to stop Gudis since we now know that it can't kill him." Cass said turning back towards Crowley.
"I have a contingency plan for that actually." The demon proposed as he outstretched his right hand, a ball of energy materializing in his palm.
"What's that?" Sam asked.
Cass meanwhile scrutinized the glowing orb closely as his eyes squinted. His look of curiosity quickly changed to anger.
"You can't be serious." The angel declared.
"Serious as a heart attack chum."
"What is it?" Dean interjected.
"They're souls." Cass answered.
"Human souls?" Buffy pushed further.
"Yes, more so, they're the souls of children." Cass went on.
"You son of a bitch!" Dean snapped.
"Oh please spare me your self righteous simpering." Crowley berated.
"What do you need those for?" Hit -Girl remarked.
"This will give Excalibur the extra kick it needs to get the job done. Granted most souls in general carry their own value, but the souls of children? You're talking 100% pure innocence, and power like you wouldn't believe." The demon spoke.
"We're not going to let you do this." Constantine warned.
"Okay then, how's about you all sod off?" He sassed back as everyone in the room erupted into a caterwauling chorus of angry protests.
"Does anyone here have a better suggestion? Besides the angel's suicidal plan to simply throw bodies at this thing and then hope that you don't die!" Crowley barked contemptuously silencing them all, "This is the only chance we've got and you bloody well know it!"
But just then Tony stepped up with one of his hand gauntlets aimed directly at the demon's head. Crowley turned his head to look over at him.
"You might be able to shrug off conventional weaponry, but let's see how you handle a pointblank beam blast to the skull?" Tony proposed.
"Go right ahead mate. All you'll be doing is screwing the pooch royally."
"Cass? Is he right?" Dean asked.
After a long and almost painful sigh he finally answered, "Yes."
"Alright then, I have a spell that will help you pinpoint the location of the sword, considering it is currently in another dimension." Crowley informed him.
"Very well, let's get this ov-"RIIIIIIP! Castiel was suddenly cut off by a fist punching through his back and out the front of his chest as everyone else looked on in horror and dismay. Crowley in the meantime vanished into thin air.
"Thanks for the intel." Gudis smiled rising up behind the angel. As he did so the formerly human and mangled Marcus regenerated and transformed growing to a seven foot stature. His body swelled, morphed and contorted until Gudis' true physical form manifested through his former drone. His body was covered in a combination of scales, fur and bony armor with writhing tentacles, a large pair of wings, a long tail, and a dragon like head. It was as if bits and pieces of every monster that had ever walked the earth could be seen in his visage.
He abruptly yanked his arm back out as every hero present with projectile weaponry unloaded all that they had into him, but it didn't even phase him. Tony activated his jet propulsion spear tackling into Gudis as they both went crashing out through the front window of the store. John, Blade, Buffy and Hit-Girl ran outside while Sam and Crowley stayed inside. Ash meanwhile proceeded to throw a tantrum over the shattered window.
"There's no way we're going to be able to catch up with them on foot." Constantine spoke.
"So what do we do?" Hit-Girl asked.
"There's nothing we can do for now." Blade said.
"We can't let him fight that thing alone!" Buffy blurted.
"Are you gonna suddenly sprout wings and fly? And if you do are you gonna teach us how?" Blade bit back.
"He did it to buy us some time. Besides, we have a more immediate problem." John told them as they looked back inside.
xxxxxxxxxxx
Gudis and Iron Man flew for some distance before crashing down in the center of town. As the two combatants rolled across the pavement of the burg's main drag they separated and quickly sprang back up. Tony hit Gudis with a vast array of beams that seemingly had no effect on him as he lumbered toward him.
"I advise a discontinuance of such tactics sir." Jarvis warned.
"Why, because its obvious that it isn't working?"
"Yes, as well as the fact that scanners indicate that this creature is an energy absorber, You're only making him stronger."
"Guess we'll just have to do things the old fashioned way." Tony concluded as he disengaged his weaponry and hurled himself at Gudis connecting with a series of punches.
However the strikes barely fazed him as he blocked one of Tony's swings and backhanded him through a pawn shop and clear out the back wall of said structure leaving a gaping hole.
"Readouts also indicate strength and molecular density that exceed all known forms of scientific measurement. Force of physical strike caused momentary power failure, do not recommend hand to hand combat." Jarvis computed as Tony dug himself out of a dumpster he had landed in.
"And you couldn't have told me that before I tried slugging it out with him because?"
"Tactile contact with the subject was needed to properly calibrate and confirm preliminary sensor data."
"Swell, glad I could be your personal guinea pig." Tony jibbed sarcastically, suddenly though he heard a voice inside his head.
"Poor little Tony, so desperate for daddy's approval, so willing to please. Trying to pretend that you could be part of a normal family despite the fact that you are a descendant of mass murderers." Gudis telepathically spoke as he slowly walked through the decimated pawn shop.
"My forefathers were patriots, men who wanted to protect their country."
"Is that a fact? Did you ever consider that what Vanko said was right? As if Obidiah Stain's treachery didn't make it clear enough."
"How do you know all of this?"
"I'm inside your head boy. The mind knows all, sees all. Your subconscious is an open book to me."
"Great, while you're in there help me remember where I last put my car keys." Tony joked.
"You've got a sense of humor, I like that. Too bad it's merely a defense mechanism to mask your insecurities. The nagging doubts about your father's past."
"Doesn't matter, I know the truth."
"You know what S.H.I.E.L.D. has told you, that doesn't make it the truth. Have you ever considered that the reason they're interested in you is the same as the government's?"
"And what's that supposed to mean?"
"Your friend Rhodey said it himself, a potential threat to the security of the nation. Tell me Tony, have you ever heard the phrase absolute power corrupts absolutely?"
"You'd know more about that than I would."
"You can't lie to me, I can hear your thoughts. I know what you really feel. I can see what you keep buried deep down where no one else can see."
"What are you my shrink?" Tony snarked as Gudis abruptly closed the gap between them pinning him against the wall of the alley.
"If it is really so hard to believe then allow me to open your skull and show it to you."
"Doesn't look like you have a can opener to me."
"No worries, all I need are my bare hands." Gudis grinned maliciously.
"Jarvis reroute all primary power to the unibeam now!" Tony yelled as an incredible blast emanated from his chest that sent Gudis crashing back through the pawn shop and hurtling for a solid mile.
"Target has already recovered and is quickly closing in on your position." Jarvis informed as Tony exited the alley only to be rammed head on as they both smashed through several abandoned vehicles left in the street. They kept going until they collided with another building as the force of their impact cracked and indented brick.
"Time to see if the tin man really does have a heart!" Gudis threatened with a laugh as Tony heaved back and shoved his right hand into Gudis' open maw firing a blast that blew out and cauterized the inside of his skull as energy erupted from every orifice.
"Jarvis are there any other human survivors nearby?"
"Negative."
"Pinpoint me the nearest gas main now!" Tony demanded
"Complete." Jarvis told him as he drilled into Gudis and took a running leap through the air.
They plowed down through the street and into the sewer system just as Gudis finished regenerating. A split second later Tony blasted the gas main and leapt back up as it detonated into an incredible fireball that shook buildings miles away.
"Well, that was fun." Tony said from a distance.
"Your notions of amusement escape my logic sir." Jarvis stated.
"Don't they always?" Tony answered as suddenly Gudis exploded up through the pavement directly in front of Tony.
"Still aflame he connected with a terrible punch that fractured Tony's suit, but before he could react Gudis proceeded to land more as he methodically stripped the armor off of him!
"Warning, outer hull breach! Armor compromised! Primary power cuplink damaged!" Jarvis alarmed.
Tony tried to fight back but it was to no avail as one final punch practically sent Tony flying out of what remained of his suit as he rolled across the ground.
"Just like ripping a snail out of its shell." Gudis implied.
A badly battered Tony looked up as Gudis bore down upon him snatching him up by his throat.
"I could kill you right now if I wanted to…but it would be all too easy. And not nearly as entertaining for me." Gudis professed.
"Well, I could do a little dance for you if you want but my singing voice may be a bit rusty." Tony coughed out in Gudis' grasp.
"Oh I have something quite different in mind." Gudis told him as he let out an inhuman wail.
He then clocked Tony just hard enough to knock him unconscious before dropping him. He then slowly lifted into the sky upon his wings as the howls and moans of the undead began to draw near, summoned by their master's call.
"Dinner…is served." Gudis announced as he faded into the shadows.
Within a matter of moments the zombies converged on the prone human, but before the first one could reach him someone bolted out of the darkness at blinding speed and whisked him up into the sky. They roared and snapped voraciously at the meal that had eluded their grasp as Tony was flown away.
xxxxxxxxxxx
"Cass! Cass? Are you okay? Can you heal this?" Dean exclaimed propping the mortally wounded angel up as everyone else watched with despair.
"No, I'm, I'm afraid not…I a-am dieing."
"What, why? I thought you said that only the blade of an angel could kill an angel!"
"Gudis is…is infinitely more powerful than…th-than any archangel." The maimed celestial rasped painfully.
"Can anyone here heal an angel?" Dean stammered looking back at everyone else.
The gathered heroes wore looks of somber dread upon them, it gave Dean his answer.
"What? None of you? Seriously? Hell half of you have died more times than a cat with nine lives and there's not a damn thing any of you can do? Constantine! Man, level with me, you're the big spell caster here!"
"There's nothing I can do."
"Bullshit!"
"There are spells to heal and bring mortals back from the dead but not immortals! I don't have that kind of power!"
"Well we can't just let him die damnit!"
"I can bring him back." Crowley casually said getting everyone's attention as he reappeared.
"What?" Dean blabbed in surprise.
"Sure, a cakewalk really. But we'll have to go through the proper channels of course."
"What channels?" Sam blasted.
"Oh, come now boys, you two of all people should already know the answer to that one." The demon replied.
"You miserable worthless-."
"Leopard spots, etc, etc." Crowley cut Dean off.
"What's he talking about?" Hit-Girl asked.
"Crowley is a crossroads demon that can grant any wish you desire for the price of your soul." Constantine advised her.
"So it's not enough that you already have Sam's soul? Fine you want my soul, take it then you bastard! It ain't like enough of you demonic dickweeds haven't juggled it around already!" Dean yelled.
"As tempting as that is there are actually two other souls in this room that are far more valuable." Crowley admitted looking back at the rest of the group.
"Two? You want two?" Sam roared angrily.
"Well, of course. This ain't just any wanker you want me to heal it's a bleedin angel! Gonna be expensive." He retorted as he walked towards the other heroes, "You." He smiled pointing at both Buffy and Constantine.
"Figures." John spat sarcastically.
"Why us?" Buffy asked.
"Do you really need me to answer that? You two have stopped more apocalypses, killed more evil bastards and cheated death more times than anyone else in this room. Everyone and their first, second and third cousins downstairs is seriously jonesin for a piece of your collectives bums. The kind of leverage I could have with both of your souls on a leash is immense. It's a deal that I simply can't pass up." He clarified.
"What if they say no? You need the angel right now as much as we do." Blade challenged.
"True, but we all know that none of you will just stand idly by and let him die if there is something that can be done to prevent it regardless of the cost. That's what makes you heroic types so wonderfully predictable in your own lamentable self sacrificing way."
The situation was a tense one. For several moments no one said anything.
"Clock's a ticking kiddies, what's it gonna be?" Crowley prodded.
"Fine." Constantine finally answered as Crowley leaned in and planted a kiss on the hunter. Deals with crossroads demons always had to be sealed with a kiss, regardless of whether the vessels they occupied were male or female. Afterward John spat off to one side thoroughly disgusted.
"Oh. I sooo didn't need to see that." Ash complained.
"Excellent, and you luv?" The demon uttered turning to Buffy.
"Alright, do it." She agreed contemptuously.
"Superb." Crowley replied as he touched his lips to hers as well. He then turned and merely snapped his fingers. Suddenly the gaping hole in Cass' torso was gone.
"If the evil fuckin genie can grant wishes why not just wish that this Gudis freak was dead?" Hit-Girl asked.
"Not within his power, even wish granting has its limits, and such magiks don't effect Gudis." Constantine answered.
"Hey, since you're in a kissing mood I got something you can kiss." Ash insinuated but Crowley ignored him.
"Cass, are you okay?" Sam asked as the angel got back up.
"Yes." He rumbled giving Crowley a filthy look.
"You know, you could try being a little more grateful to the demon that just saved your ass." Crowley teased.
"What is the term that Dean likes to use? Oh yes…eat me." Cass insulted.
"There now that wasn't so bad now was it? Now we can get back to the matter at hand." Crowley jovially mused.
Just then however Abby arrived on the scene with Tony in her arms, Owen awkwardly peeked out from behind her. Blade proceeded to start sniffing the air as his hand slowly moved toward his sword.
"What the?" Dean began to say as both he and Sam drew their weapons.
"Is he-" Buffy started to ask.
"He is still alive. He's just unconscious." Abby explained.
"Who are you and how in the Hell are you carrying him like that?" Hit-Girl spoke up.
"She's a vampire." Blade cut in.
"Yeah, one that we tangled with earlier, a nasty one too." Dean added.
"What did you do to him?" Sam asked angrily.
"What I did was save his life."
"And you expect us to buy that?" Dean spat back.
The only response she gave was an angry look.
"Where is Gudis?" Castiel butted in.
"After their battle he left Iron Man to the zombies."
"I suggest you put him down." Constantine told her.
"How do I know you will not attack me once I do?"
"You don't." Buffy warned.
"And that wasn't a request." Constantine commanded raising his gun as well.
"If I wanted him dead he would already be in pieces by now." Abby stated.
"We ain't gonna tell you twice." Blade said unsheathing his sword as Owen stepped out in front of her.
"Oh Christ not this again!" Dean grumbled.
"I won't let any of you hurt her, if you want to kill her you'll have to kill me too." Owen demanded.
"Who the crazy bat shit is this?" Ash asked.
"He's human. Probably a familiar in training." Blade guessed.
"Why would you protect her?" Buffy asked.
"She's my friend." Owen responded.
"Kid, we've been through this once tonight already!" Dean bellowed.
"Why are you doing this?" Sam questioned in complete confusion.
"She saved my life."
"What?" A baffled Hit-Girl remarked.
"She's just using you kid." Blade bluntly announced.
"No! We take care of each other! We've been looking out for each other all this time. We're all we have." Owen desperately justified.
"Think what you want. Thing is I don't like this Gudis thing any more than the rest of you."
"Even so, why help Tony?" Buffy insisted.
"A peace offering."
With that Abby gently laid Tony down.
"A sanguijuela, thought your kind were extinct." Blade admitted.
"You would know wouldn't you." Abby came back, she could smell the blood of her particular breed of vampire still on the daywalker's blade. Even though the traces in question were years old and invisible to the naked eye.
Meanwhile Mindy was transfixed upon Abby. It was like looking into a mirror. Granted seeing how she was in costume no one else realized it. She had many questions, but she quickly reminded herself of one of the cardinal rules of being a superhero...
A superhero never reveals their secret identity.
However, had Mindy asked she would have learned that Abby's last name in life had been...Macready.
But suddenly the sounds of the undead began to loom in the distance. When they finally came into view they were massing in the hundreds.
"Oh shit! There's too many to fend off! We need to fortify this place!" Dean suggested.
"Kinda difficult with the shattered store window dontcha think?" Hit-Girl mentioned.
Just then Cass, in a rare display of his superhuman strength ripped up part of an aisle divider and lodged it in the gaping hole while everyone else scattered searching for power tools to further reinforce the makeshift barricade.
"We must find Excalibur, now." Cass maintained.
"I know a spell that can open a gateway to its location, but it's going to take some major power to open it. This is gonna take both of us." Crowley conveyed as he began to recite an incantation while both he and Castiel outstretched their hands. A split second later a swirling vortex-like portal opened.
"Once he gets there how is he supposed to get back?" Dean yelled over the noise of the gateway.
"Excalibur has the power to get him back if he finds it!" Crowley yelled back.
"And if he doesn't find it?"
"Then he can consider this a permanent vacation!"
With that Cass dove in and the portal slammed shut with a crack of thunder.
He found himself standing in a vast box canyon. Its rocky terrain covered with sparse greenery. Outstretching his hand once more he closed his eyes as he allowed his unique senses to seek out the location of Excalibur. He began to slowly turn, his hand acting like a diving rod to pinpoint where he needed to search. When he finally stopped he opened his eyes to see what appeared to be a large structure off in the distance.
"There." He said to himself as in the blink of an eye he was in front of the installation.
There was a sign that looked to have a military designation to it of some kind. It read 'Blood Gulch Blue Base outpost'. A moment later someone clad in blue space age armor emerged from a doorway and looked over at Castiel.
"Hello." Caboose said innocently.