Breathless

It's a glorious day for training; sun is shining just right, not blinding, not sweltering, just enough to keep you warm with a slight breeze coming from the bay. I lift my face to the light of the sun and sigh happily. I love days like today.

His voice is a soft chuckle close beside me. I can feel his breath on my neck. "Hard to train with your head in the clouds, Sam."

If it were any other man, I would have quickly corrected him for his improper behavior. He's standing so closely I can smell the soap he used this morning. He always smells so woodsy with a hint of spice. Other girls, many girls, swoon at the mere sight of him. Not me, I've known him far too long. Besides he's betrothed to my best friend and I'm in love with Darius.

Nope, instead of fawning over the Prince, I decide to focus my gaze on the target in front of me. "Careful, your majesty, you may get an injury difficult to explain to the Queen." I raise my bow and nock an arrow giving him a side glance with a smirk. "You're in good spirits today."

Chuckling Liam moves out of harms way to line up in front of his own target. "And why not? Such a lovely day and I have you to myself." Hmm, true. Pappa is off duty this morning. So it is light training for today. Unless the swords master decides we need more practice. Oh, I hope not. I still haven't been forgiven for beating him last week. Liam aims his bow and looses an arrow.

My lips purse, brows furrow, I take aim and loose an arrow hitting my target in the center. I glance at his target not bothering to hide my amusement, "Perhaps his majesty could try focusing on his aim."

Liam lowers his bow and frowns at his target. "And if I ordered you..." He stops his thought and shakes his head. We know the answer to his unasked question, besides he would never give such an order. To win is his goal, always his goal and to win by ordering me to fail is out of the question.

I pluck an arrow from my quiver, "How fares your family?" My arrow is loose and hits its mark centimeters from the first. "I hope they are doing well."

"Yes, thank you for asking." Liam nocks his arrow and stares at the target. "Is this how it must be then, Sam?"

How what must be? He does like to talk in riddles. His arrow flies through the air hitting his target still off center. My eyes flit back to my own target, "You aren't compensating for the breeze, feel how it flows gently from left to right, aim slightly to your left let the breeze guide your arrow."

Liam pulls another arrow from his quiver. He looks at me for a moment, nocks the arrow before looking my way again. "You didn't answer my question." He checks his aim, moving it slightly to his left and looses. The arrow flies true hitting the center of the target.

I smile at his accomplishment and nock an arrow. Oh that odd look again. We've had this talk. My heart is spoken for. His is as well; things are as they should be. Granted Darius could return my feelings, but still life is good as is. "Yes, your majesty, yet you already knew the answer before it was asked." My arrow soars through the air straight and true, hitting the target in its center, nestled between my first two.

Reaching for another arrow my hand is taken in his. I'm not surprised, or shouldn't be. He's always been far bolder than is proper. Still, who am I to reprimand the Prince? And if I were to be honest, would I stop him? I should. I may not be in love with Liam, but the attention he gives me does make me feel good, wanted, desired. Still, it's wrong.

"Perhaps I don't like the answer and want a new one. What then?" Liam steps closer looking down at me, his gaze is intense. His gaze is always intense even when joking.

I smile up at him pressing my palm against his chest, stopping his approach. "Then you are free to find your answers, your majesty. Perhaps with another. You are spoken for, betrothed to a dear friend of mine, you have been for years now and no amount of wanting or wishing will change that."

Liam holds my hand to his chest and takes a calming breath. "You are right, of course."

Good. Common sense is winning out again. I let out a sigh of relief. "Then perhaps we should continue our training." I look pointedly at our hands clasped to his chest. We aren't children any longer. His eighteenth birthday is the next big celebration in one month's time making Liam a young man on the verge of adulthood. I just celebrated my own birthday six months ago. Royalty aside, Liam is a hormonal young man, with curiosity and urges. Luckily for me, Liam is a gentleman first… usually.

"Samantha," Liam ignores my subtle hint and steps closer.

I feel my eyes widen, he hasn't called me by my full name since he discovered I'm a girl. "Your majesty?" Standing so close to me, I'm forced to look up at him. I think he may have done that on purpose. When his head dips towards mine, I panic. My heart is racing and I can feel myself trembling in fear. What is he doing? Is he trying to kiss me? Why is he trying to kiss me? He stops himself before our lips touch. I can feel his breath mix with mine. He is too close.

"Sweet Samantha, I have a question." His eyes search mine. This is getting much too serious.

I swallow past the lump in my throat in order to respond. Wait. Sweet? Since when am I… oh, he has a question. "You do?" I can feel my heart racing.

"Aye, I do." He inches closer. "If I were to kiss you, would I be your first?"

By the Light, I can taste his breath. My response comes out a bit more breathless than I would have liked. "Yes."

"If I were to ask for the honor, would you grant me this boon?" Liam's head tilts slightly in anticipation.

No. "I'm-" My eyes flutter closed as he leans closer, cutting off my response.

His free hand slips around my neck, tilting my head in order to deepen the kiss. His tongue flicks at my lips. I gasp in shock, parting my lips in surprise. Liam takes advantage of this and explores my mouth with his tongue. Oh this is wrong, so very wrong! I can feel myself panic and try to pull away. I'm going to be sick. So very sick!

Liam leans closer, holding me to him. I whimper in fright, my cries are muffled in the kiss. He won't let go and I can't breathe. With both hands against his chest I push him away as hard as I can. "No!"

He steps back panting, he shakes his head. "I'm... Sam, I'm sorry."

He's sorry? He kissed me! How could he do such a thing? I can feel the tears hot in my eyes; I feel them burning their way down my cheeks. Clutching my bow to my chest I stumble backwards. I want the feel of his lips off of mine. I drag my hand across my mouth. Oh bile, my stomach… "Why? Why would you do that? You're my friend. I trusted you."

I can hear him, hear him calling out my name. Only I don't care, I can't look at him. The horror of what he did, what I allowed to happen replays in my mind. The look on his face before and after, the shock, the guilt, the regret. I'm never going back. Never. Let them all believe I'm a failure, better yet let them all forget I exist. I'd rather be labeled a failure than a harlot, backstabber, or worse.

Lorna will be so angry with me. How could I let this happen? What did I do? It's my fault and even if it isn't, it will be. Liam will be the model son as always and me? I'll be that girl who tried to seduce the Prince, the silly commoner who tried to reach way above her station. My legs give out and I collapse at the gate. My body convulses, my stomach recoils and what little contents that are in me, come back.

It takes a bit of time, not a lot but it sure feels like an eternity, before I can pull my self together enough to make it to Ambermill. All those that pass me give me a wide berth and whisper as I go by. Do they know? Can they tell?

I stare at the door to my home feeling unclean and unworthy. Pappa will surely question why I've returned prematurely and the cause of my tears. I stumble away. Shame, filled with self-hatred and guilt, I wander off into the surrounding woods and lean against a tree.

Slowly I slide down it until I'm sitting on the cold grass. I close my eyes against the tears that fall.

I shiver at the cold nipping at me. The sun is making way for the night, long stretches of red and orange light snake through the trees. I know I should go home before darkness falls but I don't have the energy.

"Sam!" His voice calls out to me. The panic is undeniable.

I wince with guilt and swipe my palm at my tear stained cheeks. I struggle to stand and call back. "I'm here, Pappa." Only my voice cracks and isn't loud enough to carry past the trees in front of me. I push myself to stand and finally take a good look around. How did I manage to get myself lost in the woods? "Pappa?"

"Sam?" Pappa responds to the sound of my voice. His voice carries the sound of hope.

"I'm over here. Where ever here is…" I'm looking around some more, not willing to move and go further into the woods. Right, map reading, learning the lay of the land, next on my things to do. My stomach growls angrily. Right after I eat. I rub my belly with a sigh.

"Samantha?" Darius appears behind me causing me to gasp and spin around.

"Oh thank the Light." I throw my arms around him and cling to him. Stupid tears are falling again.

Darius stiffens in surprise. "What is it? What's wrong?" He wraps his arms around me to comfort me, cradling my head against his chest, cooing to me. "Shhh… talk to me, Samantha. What happened?"

I half-laugh, half-sob into his chest. "I foolishly got myself lost in the woods."

"That is what you did," His voice becomes stern. "What did he do?"

He knows. How? I tremble in his arms. "Who?"

Darius gives me a comforting squeeze, "He came to Ambermill with your quiver. I refused to tell him which house is yours. There was something in his eyes that did not bode well. When I spoke with your father, we found your bow on the ground near the woods." Darius brushes my hair back to see my face, "Are you okay?"

I wrinkle my nose, "I feel silly. He just kissed me." Just saying the words make me shudder and feel ill again.

"I take it you didn't want this kiss?" Darius' tone stays even and distant.

"No and when I tried to stop him, I had to push him away. He tried to apologize." I bury my face into his chest. I can't face him. I'm afraid to see his reaction. "I was saving my first everything for my first love and he took that from me." I cringe at how childish that sounds, "I feel so…"

"Angry, frustrated…" Darius prompts me.

Those too, but its more than just that, "Violated, betrayed, used…" I take a deep breath, breathing in his musky smell. "The worse part, if anyone hears about this, some how it will be my fault as if I pursued him."

"He is royalty, you're a commoner." Darius rubs my back as he talks to me.

"I know this to be true, yet it isn't my fault. I didn't want his advances, there is only one man for me and it is not him." I look up at him searching his face for any acceptance.

He smiles patiently at me. "You still hold on to that belief?"

"That I'm in love with you, m'lord?" When he nods, I do too. "Yes, I still love you. I told you that I will love you until my dying breath."

Darius kisses my forehead, my eyes drift closed. He gently kisses my tear stained cheeks. I swallow hard past the lump in my throat. My tongue flicks across my lips, they suddenly feel very dry. Darius makes an odd growling sound. I open my eyes in time to see his lips capture mine. The kiss is everything I dreamed and more. The warmth that explodes in my belly, the shivering of my body, the pressure of his body against mine is all so heady and perfect.

I don't know where it came from, but a moan escapes my parted lips. There is a tingling sensation that spreads as quickly as fire through me and I find I like it very much. "Samantha," Darius' eyes search mine. I smile up at him. He just made me so happy. I could die right now with no regrets. Okay maybe a few but this is not one of them.

"Yes," Oh if this is another of my dreams I don't want to wake up. Please don't let this be another dream.

Darius kisses the tip of my nose, I caress his face. His skin is leathery yet soft. His hair is thick and that moan was not from me. I urge him to kiss me again, pulling his face towards mine. He presses small kisses over my lips and neck sending shivers through my body. Oh the fire he creates within me is building. His hands, his strong hands grip my hips and I can't seem to get close enough to him.

At last his lips find mine, his tongue flicks gently at my lips. This time I am prepared and part my lips for him. He hesitantly enters my mouth and my legs become jelly. I'm clinging to him. My tongue has a life of its own as it seeks out his. Oh the kiss, the kiss is so warm, the fire spreads to my womanhood and I wantonly press against him. Light forgive me but I want this man.

"Sam!" Pappa's voice is closer.

Panic seizes us both. We pull away from each other and I lick my lips tasting our kiss. Darius clears his throat and runs his fingers through his hair as I straighten my clothes. He turns to walk away and I grab his arm. "Darius," my voice is stronger than I feel.

He closes his eyes for a brief moment before smiling at me. He gives me a parting kiss on my cheek and walks away. A few feet away he turns and hesitates. "I love you, Samantha."