Yeah, uh, I was never going to make Edward gay. I just did that to make more people review. Hehe. Sorry, but hey, it worked right? It would be kinda funny, but I'm not that cruel. Once again, I DO NOT own Twilight. I don't include the disclaimer a lot, but I guess I'm just forgetful. What ever. Just R&R. (Read and Review if you a retard. JK.)
Bella's POV
We stood in the hallway, after he shut the bedroom door, and looked anywhere but at each other. Ok, fine. That's more of what I was doing. My lack of looking at him made it impossible to tell what was going on through his head.
"Just say something," I pleaded.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked. I finally got the courage to look at him, and he had a mono tone expression written in his face, eyes, and voice. It was unfeasible to know his true emotions of all this.
"You could start by answering my question?" I whispered, praying he would take me up on the offer.
"No, I can't. Look, I-I won't believe them until you tell me yourself. I'm giving you the benefit of doubt. You tell me. Then I might tell you," he replied, simply.
"Why should I trust you?" I inquired.
"What choice do you have?"
"The choice of not telling you anything."
"Do you always have to be so stubborn? I sometimes wonder where you get it from."
"I have a-"
"Wait, don't answer that." He grinned sheepishly, as he knew I'd say I'd spent too much time with him.
"I'm not gong to give in any time soon, you know," I said, confidently.
"I know. I'll be waiting for it," he answered.
"So that's it?" I wondered, surprised. Yet, somehow not so pleasantly.
"Yes. I won't push this. I'm just hoping that you will do the same for me in return."
I sighed, unhappily.
"You need to stop," I said finally, breaking the moment of silence.
"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.
"You need to stop being so sweet and an ass at the same time. You need to stop drugs. You need to stop confusing me. God, I am so stupid. I think I seriously need help." At this point I was more thinking aloud than anything.
He just grinned foolishly for a while.
"What now?" I groaned. He snapped out of his trance, but not instantaneously.
"I'm just as confused as you are now. Since when did saying 'I love you' become a debate?"
I thought about this for moment. What he said was true. Why was to so hard just to say it? What's the worst that can happen? Rejection? And the best thing? The possibilities are endless. So was it really worth not telling him now, while I had the chance? Who knows when I'll ever get the opportunity again. Suddenly the answer to the first question popped in my head. Friendship and a promise. I said that I would never fall in love with him before I even met him. What am I now? In love with him. Karma has a way of coming back to bite me in the ass.
I'll only say it if he does. That's the only solution. Sure, I'd break my promise, but it was the only answer that would give me a clear head. But what if he never said it? What if he didn't feel the same way about me? What if-
"Bella? Bella? Do I get an answer to my question or what?" Edward asked.
"For us it would be friendship. And rejection." I then gulped, hard.
He sighed, heavily.
"Isabella. You do know I wouldn't rejection you, right?" he whispered, as he leaned in closer.
"Do I?" I muttered.
"I hope so," he breathed. His cool breath hit my face and I was in heaven. I couldn't respond. I wanted to break the half inch between us but couldn't move.
He looked like he wanted to, too, but made no move to get any closer.
Did this mean that by the fact that he wouldn't reject me, he meant we would still be friends. Did it mean that he doesn't love me, but won't turn on me and quit talking to me? Is he eliminating both friendship and rejection from my worries so that I will confess, regardless. Or is he just eliminating never being friends again? Would he still reject me, though he said that he wouldn't?
Or is it a way, a very clever way, of saying that he loves me, too? And is he just standing here, his brain racking, thinking that I've rejected him? Is it possible that he's just as scared as I am, though he's admitted his true colors?
I peered up at Edward to see that he had backed away and started pacing. He looked hurt and confused and very guilty.
I opened my mouth to speak, but he cut me off.
"All you had to do was say that you didn't love me like that. All you had to do was reject me quickly and get it over with. You didn't have to stand there, making me look like an idiot. If you don't love me say it now and get it over with," he growled.
His words brought tears in my eyes. I don't know why they did, but they did. I stood there crying for a while, expecting two arms to encircle me, but it never happened. Once I stopped crying enough to see clearly, I noticed Edward was gone, being replaced by his family and friends.
"What on Earth did that man do to you?" Alice asked, horrified.
"It's not what he did to me, it's what I did to him," I sobbed, again.
Only then did I feel two arms around me, but two pixie arms. They weren't exactly what I wanted to feel at this moment. Alice shooed the others away, but Rosalie stayed.
"What happened, Bella?" Alice pleaded.
"Alice, h-he told me he loved me," I whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut tightly and breathed deeply.
Alice pulled back, and Rosalie asked, "Isn't that a good thing?"
"It would be, but I didn't exactly say it back. I didn't know what he meant. I mean, it wasn't in the most obvious way. I-I just stood there, thinking of what to make of what he said to me."
"You didn't say it back?" Alice asked seriously.
I shook my head.
"Oh, boy. Now we're in for a rollercoaster ride," Rosalie muttered, clearly annoyed.
"And I thought this was an innocent slumber party. One where we could have fun," Alice added.
"What are you guys talking about?" I asked cautiously.
"Bella, have you ever even heard about a time when Edward got pissed about something?" Alice asked like she was asking a two year old.
My eyes widened in realization at what she had just told me. It would only be ten times worse with drugs on his side.
Not as long this time, but still over a thousand words. That's what I try to do every time. I wanted to go on from here, but I decided against it. Cliffies mean more reviews, right? I hope so. Well, just review and I might update again today. Whether I do it on this story, I don't know. If you think anything is to soon, let me know. You're kinda lucky, too. I wanted to make them wait on the whole I love you business, but they won't be getting together for a while. I just thought that it worked better with the plot to have it here. Well, whatever, goodbye.