Disclaimer: Please... I don't think so! By the way, some of these imaginary "Associations and Societies" actually, most of them, they belong to Jaclyn Moriarty, author of Feeling Sorry for Celia, the book I'm modeling this story after. They are like our own feelings about ourselves, the ones we beat ourselves up about. I'll probably stick in a few of my own, and will tell you at the end of each part which ones are mine.
Summary: Not really romance (but it could be) -- more like sweet friendship, but feel free to interpret it however you wish. Enjoy.
Note: All right, I want to get this cleared up once and for all... I want you guys to enjoy the story without being confused. In the future, if you have a question, skim over my responses to other readers, you just might find your answer. Some of you are confused with the "Friends-in-the-Making Club" and other "Associations." All of us have misgivings about ourselves, we beat ourselves up, we scold ourselves... More than one of you have stood in front of the mirror and said, "Oh, why do I always have to do that?" or "Why can't I be as strong or as smart as so-and-so?" or "Why on earth is she so pretty and I am not?" or "I am so ashamed of myself, how could I do something that stupid?!" That's all that these "Associations" are; merely inner feelings directed to the characters in letters. Nothing more, nothing less... I just can't have the feelings from each person's POV, because the whole story is in letters. Hope that helps everyone! Enjoy!
Letters and Care Packages
Dear Ms. Granger,
It has come to our attention that you are quite horrible at being a teenager, magical or otherwise. Your room is immaculate and smells like Rain Forest deodorizer. Tsk, tsk, we must work on that! Your books are organized alphabetically and color coded by topic. Where are the poster of gorgeous men and ticket stubs from concerts and movies? Your first-place plaques from the spelling bees for five consecutive years do not count.
You wake up every morning at 7:00 and make your bed. Ever think about sleeping in until noon and then just leaving your sheets rumpled for once? We believe you need a lesson on the concept known as "being laid-back." We will be sending a brochure on the aforementioned subject shortly. We strongly recommend reading it. For starters, when you take off your socks toss them on your desk or on the floor; throw your clothes in a heap on your desk chair; if you need a place to sit, pull out that lovely Encyclopedia of Toadstools and use that to sit on.
We see now that teaching you the basics will take too long at this time… So in the meantime, walk into that nice little linen closet, sit down, plug your ears to any intruding noises, and chant these words until they are fused into your mind, "I am a completely hopeless and boring teenager; I MUST CHANGE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!"
Until we meet again,
The Association of Teenagers (Magical or Otherwise)
===
HERMIONE! DEAR! OVER HERE ON THE COFFEE MAKER!
Your father and I have left for the office; we'll be back at around 2:00 p.m. Eat some breakfast, there is whole-wheat toast and apples, and orange juice is in the refrigerator. If you need a snack, there are some sugar-free granola bars in the cupboard. Don't forget to brush and floss twice today; there's a new sample of cherry-flavored floss you can try. I still can't believe you shrank your teeth without your parents' permission, namely ours! Not that they aren't lovely, of course! If you have any homework, be sure to do that. After you're finished, there is a fascinating show on the life cycles of mayflie4s! It is on channel 7 at 11 a.m.
Have a lovely day, darling!
Your Mum
P.S. If you have any ideas about flavors for floss and toothpaste, don't hesitate to tell us!
===
Dear Hermione,
We are delighted to inform you that you are being considered for induction into our society. You postponed your homework a whole hour! Remember, progress is as progress does! Now if you could only pull yourself away from that nature program and turn on some cartoons, we're sure we'd be on our way! Exercise some self-control, dear girl, have some fun! You had to pick the Magic School Bus didn't you? Ever think about a cartoon without any education value? Even so, we'll be watching you.
All the best,
The Society of Young Witches and Wizard Who Are Sure to Fail Hogwarts (And Most Likely Life as Well!)
===
Dear Mindy,
I know that you're just a doll, a doll who has been sitting on my bed since before I can remember… but since we're so well acquainted and I have nobody to talk to, I might as well pour out my woes to you. You at least won't snap at me at every turn, like some prats I know. It's hard coming back here for the summer vacation… I have no friends here, as I haven't been to a regular school for five years, it does get lonely.
I could write to my friends from Hogwarts, but it's been less than five days since I've seen them! Do you suppose that would seem desperate? Maybe because I am desperate… why, just today I switched from a nature show on television to a cartoon! I never watch cartoons—what's happening to me? Maybe I'll go write a letter to Ron or Harry, maybe even Ginny… she, at least, doesn't talk about Quidditch or chess every minute.
What do dolls do, I wonder? Just sit here at stare at the world? How incredibly boring, but I suppose after you analyze my lifestyle, I am one of the most boring people I know, but then again, I don't know many people, do I? Arrgghhh! What do I do? I could go to the cinema, but nobody likes going to a movie alone! Fine! I'll go write a letter to my friends, and if they think I'm desperate, well, they're probably right!
Thanks for the advice,
Hermione
===
Dear Mum,
I went to the park for an hour or so… please don't panic! I needed to get out of the house and write a couple of letters. Remember those two boys at the train station? They are the ones I am writing to, and the red-haired one's little sister. The weather's lovely and I really need to think, so I'll see you later.
Love from your daughter
P.S. Coconut flavored floss wouldn't be bad… but stick with peppermint toothpaste!
===
Dear Granger,
Unbelievable! Talking to a doll! You have to be one of the most pathetic creations that ever walked upon this earth! Really, it is a wonder that the Association of Teenagers is trying to reform you at all! Any of the good they did was completely erased by the little chat with the stuffed imitation of human child… We see absolutely no hope for you.
Sincerely,
THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION
===
Dear Hermione,
Oh, isn't that sweet… Writing to your friends in your time of need! Ron and Harry are your best friends in the whole world, aren't they? After all, you've been together through thick and thin, enchanted chess sets, and creepy floating brains… what's not to love about this relationship? Except a little hesitation toward writing a letter to Ron… silly, he's not going to think your letter stupid! Just because he's obsessed with Quidditch and food, and thinks homework is a waste of time, doesn't mean he thinks you're a waste of time! Just write it already!
Yours,
The Best Friends Club
===
Dear Ginny,
Dear Harry,
Hi Ron!
Hello Ron!
Dear Ron,
Greetings, Weasley!
Dear Ronnie,
Ron,
===
Dearest Hermione,
We believe we know the reason behind your inability to begin a letter to a certain Ronald Weasley. In fact, we know it has something to do with that wee kiss before the Quidditch game against Slytherin last year. Are we not correct? We thought so. Did you really it changed anything? You may think it changed something, but we can assure you it hasn't. Ron is just the same, the lean, mean, eating machine that lives off of chess and Quidditch. Those three words "Chess, Food, and Quidditch" sum up Ronald in a very small nutshell. What did possess you to do it in the first place? We know you pecked Harry on the cheek, but you obviously aren't fussing over how to open a letter to him… Does this mean little Ms. Bookworm has a teensy crush on Mr. Weasley? That must be the funniest thing we ever heard! Don't be delusional… just write the stupid letter, because he can't possibly have the same feelings for you! Forget that and get on with your studious little life!
Excuse us while we wipe tears of mirth off our faces,
The Young Romance Society
===
Dear Mindy,
So I wrote the letters, but I don't know how I'm supposed to send them! Before, it was Ron who wrote me about Harry's starvation, and I was able to send the stuff with owls that the Weasleys had managed to hire. Oh, I forgot! Crookshanks! He should be able find an owl to come here. I've a few Knuts left to pay for an owl to deliver. That cat is such a dear, but I just hope he doesn't gnaw your curls out… He's really a gentle cat—when he wants to be!
Is it a good idea to write so soon? I mean, we barely said goodbye to each other a few days ago! Why do I have to worry about everything? Why can't I just make up my mind and go with it? You know, I think I might be a perfectionist…
Sincerely,
Hermione
===
Mum!
I'm back now… I hope you didn't panic because you didn't see me here! I'm up in my room taking a nap, so call me when it's time for supper… Would you put some scraps aside for Crookshanks. If there are any dead spiders around, he would love them.
Thanks,
Hermione
===
Dearest!
Hope you had a lovely nap! Your father and I are downstairs watching a movie in the living room. If you are awake, there is some hot soup on the stove that you may have. Dad made it, so it should be good. After all, you know how abysmal your mother's cooking is… I wonder why I can't cook something with burning it, or make a cake without forgetting to put flour in it…
Love,
Your Mum
===
Dear Hermione,
Perfectionist is quite the understatement… Actually, we don't think there is a word in the dictionary that could possibly explain your obsessive compulsiveness! Pathetic, as we mentioned before, is a good word, but we doubt it is strong enough for the likes of you. We'd also like to know why you can't do anything, just for the sake of doing it. Normal people do things without overanalyzing, why can't you?
Wondering without any hope at all,
THE COLD HARD TRUTH ASSOCIATION
P.S. Why do we bother speaking to you at all?
===
A/N- So here we are, once again, at the end of another chapter, I really hoped you enjoyed it… Hope you don't drop this story, just because the updates aren't as fast as you would hope; I have three stories to keep track of, including this one! (I know, I need to control myself! But I have such good ideas!). But guess what? I've been rereading Order of the Phoenix, finished it in two days, and I found a really good place to write a little Hermione/Ron one-shot from Hermione's POV. I think it'd be really good, but it'll be a while before I develop it… so be on the lookout for that! =I just posted it a while back, please read it!= I don't do much with R/Hr, except in H/G, so it'll be a nice change!
To My Reviewers:
Mmmbop baduba dop ba du bop
Baduba dop ba du bop
Baduba dop ba du (yeah, yeah)
Mmmbop baduba dop ba du bop
Baduba dop ba du bop
Baduba dop ba du (yeah, yeah)
[Very annoying chorus, but also very ketchy, if ya know what I mean… Because c'mon, I heard this on the radio when I was ten, you just can't forget it! Hanson was very cool—then. Lol! I am such a loser!]
Hermione30: Howdy! I'm glad you thought it was funny, just what I was hoping for! You know, it is so ridiculous what my relatives and I fight over… lol, but it sure is funny! I am still mad that I won't be here when you come to Utah (smite!)…Grrrr, indeed! And here are MiseryLovesCompany's words on Newsies (I wouldn't be going to all this trouble, unless I really, really wanted you to see this movie!): "OK about Newsies. Not only is it chock-full of amazingly cute boys who dance and sing yet manage to act all tough it's funny as all heck. Once you see it you'll get hooked, that's just how it is. There's a Newsie for everybody to love too, hehe… Ahh Spot. So hot. Personally, it's one of my favorite movies." So please, please see it, 'cause I want to share one of the biggest highlights of my life with you! =looks pleadingly= I guarantee your satisfaction!
ginnyweasley418: Oh good, I was trying very hard to get Petunia's character as best I could… I'm glad you think it was good! Thanks so much!
Emily T: You know, when I wrote that question, I was wondering how people would take it; people with their gutter-brains (cough=Emily=cough). Lol! Yes, Ginny has guts, but she only asked it because it was something I would ask! I'm weird, but a very sincere weird… All right, I don't write better than you, we're even, okey-doke? I love your stuff, you love mine, all is hunky-dory! Hurray! Love ya tonz!
SeleneA: I like Ginny in this chapter too, nice and cheerful, y'know? Anyways, thanks so much for reviewing… And the answer to your question is at the very beginning of this chapter, where everyone else can read it too.
TiffanyandCo: Nah, Aunt Petunia is definitely not sweet, but I think the others are! I'm trying to drag the stuff out slowly; I have a tendency to rush things, so I'm trying especially not to do it, but I think I will bring up Sirius later, but not right away, because I want them to trust each other a lot more—be closer, I guess. I'm debating over the Ron/Hermione, dunno quite yet… maybe a little. I always feel that I need a little of both, but this story will not center on them. Hope this reply is satisfactory!
Kattcha91: I actually get along with my mother pretty well, and from the books, Molly and Ginny are very close… didn't want to spoil that. You know, I really loved your review, it told me a lot about how my characterizations are being received… you noticed a lot of little things, like the "parrot" stuff, and Harry's nerves. Thanks so much, I really appreciate it!
MiseryLovesCompany: =gasps= Hi, Blink! Hi! =jumps up and down and bats eyelashes outrageously= So, uh, how was your stay here in the Harry Potter fandom? Planning on visiting again, anytime soon? =pretends to be coy= Ahem! Why hello Mis, didn't see you! Of course you're wise! Harry and Ginny is perfect and don't you dare forget it! Thanks for your encouragement to watch Newsies, I completely agree with you! Please update your stuff soon, more Spot! Wheee! =nods= Why, Blink, leaving so soon? =pouts= It's a shame… well, later cutie! =flips hair and winks= Bye now! =trips and falls on face=
Gryphonmistress: Glad you liked it—ah, I don't think Harry'll be going to the Burrow for a while yet… =cowers= Don't hurt me! But I will keep those society names in mind; quite ingenious they are… Thanks!
bando2: Thanks! I'm glad someone besides me thinks my life-story is kooky! Boy, do I know what it's like getting strange looks from everyone! Glad you liked it!
Sarahamanda: I believe so too… and if not in the books, then they will in our imaginations forever!
koonelli: She may be random, but I highly doubt she has Mary-Sues on her hard-drive, but it was funny to think about! Lol! Actually, your review had me rolling on the floor laughing my head off! Hilarious! My mom was actually asking me what the matter was! Hahahaha! I'm glad you liked this chapter, I thought it was some of my better writing, so thanks! Btw, I loved your story Folding Laundry. It was perfectly lovely!
Faith456: I just love that book; it's an awesome alternate way of writing things. The fact that it is so different is why it's so appealing to me; I just found it really amusing! I'm glad you like my fluff that really isn't fluff yet… I call that a great accomplishment! Thanks so much for reading! I hope you update Him? Whaddya mean, HIM!. It's one of my faves!
mep1: Hola, como estas? Pobrecita, con todos esos examenes; son el Diablo! Te escucho, estoy hasta aqui en las tareas! Yo si actualize Sleeping Beauties, espero que lo vees; capitulo ocho. Estoy feliz porque te gusta(s)(?) mi fic nueva… (Oh jeez, my grammar is awful!) Dile a su mama que Hermione fue creada solamente para Ron! Ah bueno, trate de escribir para que podrias leer, pero ahora no se, soy demasiada horrible! Okay, here we go, I'm just going to correct your review and then you can correct my response: "Your story on how you discovered HP fanfiction got a smile on my face! My mom thinks Harry is going to end up with Hermione, poor lady won't stand my: 'I told you so' when he doesn't! (Or I won't stand hers in the worst case, but I'm confident it's gonna be the other way!) Okay, I await my corrections! Te quiero mucho!
Padfoot692: I'm so glad you like it… cool, I'm not the only one arguing over this! I read your fic and reviewed! Absolutely loved it!
Quis: So happy I'm doing that book justice! Thanks!
Zazz: You know, if you really think about it… Snape could be a distant cousin, after all, all the pure-bloods are related, as James was a pure-blood! J/K. I don't think we'll have to worry about that! I'm glad you liked this… it's a much easier fic on the eyes I guess, 'cause I'm not too great at the action/adventure thing! Hope you'll keep reading!
PrincessSaraSolo: Sorry! I hate it when I miss alerts, and then I found out the story was updated a month ago! Grrr… Well, I'm glad I got the sibling thing down, 'cause I do not get along with my brothers at all, sometimes I wish I did, but really, they are apes! Thanks so much for the encouragement, it means a lot!
Crazyinulover: Thanks!
mary-v: Harry/Ginny always! Thanks for reading, you're terribly loyal! I appreciate it!
A Harry and Ginny Dreamer: Am I really? I've read lots about what happens when he leaves with the Dursleys. If I find some good ones, I'll tell you! Your confusion will be answered at the very beginning of this chapter. Since you left your email addie, I'll assume you want me to tell you when I've update, that's what I'll do anyway! Thanks for reading!
Blatant Discontent: That was freaky, wasn't it? I was horrified (and impressed) at my mother. Lol. I get these ideas from great authors =cough=JaclynMoriarty=cough= and then run with them. I'm glad you liked it!
Butler: You got it!
Smileyface101: Let me see… I think the one I hate right now is Harry/Tonks, it just doesn't fly with me! I also don't like Tonks paired with Remus, he's too old! I like her with Charlie, I'd like to write a C/T story, but I wouldn't know what to do! I am also guilty of reading Draco/Ginny… but I'm loyal to H/G! I must admit that once in a while, I indulge myself in a bit of Oliver/Ginny—it can be quite cute!
Livewithit: Glad you liked the ramble! It's what I do best! That book is one of the best books I've ever read… hands down! Really, really… so I'm glad you liked my take on it!
Random Story from the Author's Archives of Life
All-righty then! So it was a few weeks ago, my mom and I were at the library checking out some stuff (I must tell you right now, that if I had the choice, I would live in the library; all I'd need was a pizza shop and a shower room, because they've got the toilets, couches, and the big screen television in the basement with all of the videos and CD's; lol! What more could I want? Oh, all right, Legolas! Then I would be set for life!) and we happened to look at the little sign announcing stuff. You know the one: "Come see Blobbo the Clown and eat snacks, etc.." But instead of clowns, they had Moosebutter, a comedy A-Cappella group. They're okay, I had heard them before and I had their CD.
"Hey look!" said Mom, pointing. I looked and I shrugged. "It's family night, I think we should come see them. It's at seven tonight." Since I'm a loser, I didn't have an excuse not to go. Besides, I actually didn't mind their songs, some of them are pretty funny; they've got one called "Star Wars" which is a compilation of most of John Williams' famous tunes: Jaws, Indiana Jones, E.T. etc.., and one called "Psycho: The Musical" which is the movie "Psycho" to the tunes from Les Mis "Music of the Night"; absolutely hilarious!
So we're all trooping into the library and going to the story wing; I'm wrapped up in my blanket, my head all covered (you could only see my eyes), just in case anyone I knew was there… it turned out that a kid I knew, cute but kinda dorky (band geek who plays trumpet, if you must know; not that I have anything against band geeks, some of them are my best friends), showed up with his family. So then the group starts singing, they're actually quite good… "Lalalala… Blah-blah!" And I'm watching my buddy from across the tiny puppet stage, he's all singing along and bobbing his head; meanwhile, I'm trying not to laugh out loud.
Now, I had heard them last summer, just after Order of the Phoenix had come out, and they had written a pretty funky song called "Harry Potter" to the tune of "Pretty Woman" and I thought it had been pretty funny. It went something like "Oh Harry, when you ask for Cho's hand, will she say 'I do'?" I thought that was a possibility, but before you jump down my throat, it was no big deal because I didn't know anything about HP fanfiction. So when we went to the library, I wanted to hear the song again, now that I was well versed in Harry Potter fandom… so my mom went up and requested it before the show began.
So they start singing the song and I'm starting to reconcile myself to their singing and trying not to be embarrassed, and I'm getting comfortable and listening carefully to the lyrics, when I hear this "So Harry Potter, when you grow up, what will you be? When will you marry Hermioneeeeee?" They had changed it a bit since I last heard it! Everyone was clapping along, so it was kinda loud, but my mom and everyone in a four-foot radius heard me, and saw me. I actually bellowed "Noooo!" and I covered my ears and shook my head hard.
Thankfully the group didn't hear me, but I was so distressed; I mean, I suppose I could handle Cho if that were the case (thank heavens it's not!), but not Hermione! She belongs solely to Ron! I almost rolled off my little bench and assumed the fetal position i.e. on floor, curled up, hands over ears, moaning and muttering, but the floor was covered with little kids bopping along, totally into Moosebutter! So I had to bear my horror alone; I must say that some of the grown-ups were scared of me!
You must be proud of me for standing up for my beliefs (in public too!), even though technically, I didn't stand up at all! But just two days or so ago, I emailed the group asking them to send me the "Harry Potter" lyrics, and they wrote back saying they were too lazy, but that if I would send them my mailing address, they'd mail me a recording of it! So yes, that is my news. It's a pretty nifty song, but every time I listen to it, I'll pretend they're saying Ginny! All I have to do now is to have the mailman bring it to me already!
So now I have the CD… and I love it the song (except for the bit about Hermione/Harry, although I have absolutely nothing against the girl), I just wish I had a way for you all to listen to it! Oh well. Email me if you want the lyrics, and turn on Pretty Woman! It's great!