Yo ho!

By: Captain Kisa

Disclaimer: I wish I owned Pirates. Then I'd have enough money to pay off my parent's debts and buy them a bigger house.

WOOOSH, chapter four! Not much to say, other than your reviews make me feel so happy. I'm glad you guys like the story! It makes me write more because I know you want to read it.

Here's your Christmas present from me to you! Hah. You can suggest things to happen; it'd help me greatly.

'zomg ur fic suxxorzz' is not an acceptable review and will be laughed at/ignored.

Now, normally I wouldn't complain about lying on the floor with a freaking hot pirate lying on top of me, but I hit that ground pretty darn hard; I could feel a headache coming on. If I was lucky, I wouldn't get a concussion. Of course, being smothered by Jack Sparrow helped. A bit.

Jack jumped off me and ran over to the wall, where the cannon had shot through, leaving a gaping hole. The pirates in the other cell laughed at their luck as they leaped through said hole. Only one turned and looked back at us.

"My sympathies, friends, you've no manner of luck at all." And with that, he jumped through the hole and was gone. Jack watched them disappear in the foliage sadly. I, however, was feeling other emotions.

"Part of the wall hit my arm… I'm bleeding. Do you have a band-aid? No, of course not… What about an Ace bandage?"

Jack shot me a look as he headed over to the bars of our cell and picked up the bone that the pirates have previously used in their attempt to get the keys from the dog that held them.

"Don't insult the dog," I warned him as I scooted over and crouched next to him. Jack whistled, gaining the dog's attention.

"Come on, doggy!" Jack urged, waving the bone slightly. "It's just you and us now. Just you, me, and the lass. Come on. Come on, boy. That's a good boy, come on!" The dog was starting to take a few hesitant steps toward us. "Bit closer, bit closer. That's it, that's it, doggy. Come on you filthy, slimy, mangy cur." A crash sounded somewhere up the stairs. The dog looked up and look off down deeper in to the dungeon. "No, no, no, no, no, I didn't mean it!" Jack called after it. "I didn't…"

Jack trailed off as a guard – the same one I scared before – tumbled down the stairs. Two pirates followed the body.

"This ain't the armory," one of them observed.

"Isn't," I corrected. "'This isn't the armory.'" The pirate shot me a look.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here, Twigg. Captain Jack Sparrow." The two stepped closer to us. The one who had spoken raised an eyebrow as he spotted me. "And a little wench, too."

"Your mom," I shot back. Oh, that was a burn. No, just kidding.

"It'd be in your best interest not to mention his mother," Jack whispered to me, leaning back slightly. The pirate, Twigg, spat on the ground in front of Jack's boots.

"Last time I saw you, you were all alone on a godforsaken island, shrinking into the distance." Twigg said. Turning to the other pirate, he added, "His fortunes aren't improved much."

"Your mom's fortunes haven't improved much," I snickered just loud enough for Jack to hear.

"Worry about you own fortunes, gentlemen," Jack replied, ignoring me again. All this ignoring was really starting to annoy me. "The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for betrayers and mutineers." The black pirate snarled and grabbed Jack by the throat. Jack's head was thrown back into the path of the moonlight, giving the man's arm a skeletal look.

"Ew," I said, sliding backwards a few inches.

"You know nothing of Hell."

The two pirates turned and retreated up the stairs. I followed them with my eyes, ignoring Jack, who was muttering to himself.

"So, Mr. Sparrow, what are we to do?" I asked, turning around and leaning against the bars of the cell. Jack looked over at me as if he saw me for the first time.

"You. Get me out." He commanded.

"Eh-squeeze me? A-baking powder? You could be a bit kinder. And why do I have to be Houdini?"

"You're the voodoo priestess, are you not? Call up some little beasties to spring me free!"

This was going to be a problem. As I mentioned before, I didn't know the first thing about voodoo, and I certainly wasn't going to summon anything. Besides, Jack kept saying 'me'. If he didn't think he was taking me on his little trip, he was crazy.

"No!" I snapped, crossing my arms. "Just because every girl and their mother thinks you're incredibly hot and would do anything for you, doesn't mean I will. Sure, you're… attractive, but I'm currently infatuated with another pirate." A cursed one, of course. Didn't think I liked the eunuch, did you?

Jack raised an eyebrow and looked at me with a half-amused expression. "Feisty young lass, ain't ye?" My turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Maybe." I wasn't entirely sure what feisty meant, but I didn't think it was bad. We remained silent for a few minutes, just looking around the cell.

"You're not really a voodoo priestess, are you?" Jack asked, breaking the silence.

"Blasphemy. Of course I am!"

"No, you're not."

Apparently, Jack was smart. Smarter than I thought. Well, he knew a real voodoo priestess, so he could no doubt tell that I wasn't one. So, I did the only thing I could do: I told him everything. About how this whole thing was a movie, and how he wasn't real. It took me a few hours to explain everything to him in terms that he could understand, but I'd have trouble understanding, too, if I was told that I was a fictional character.

"Who plays you?" Jack asked after I had explained actors and actresses to him.

"Me?" I asked, surprised. "Oh, I'm not in the movie. This is all a dream, see. It's not real. Sooner or later I'm gonna wake up and go back to living my normal life, where everyone takes care of their hygiene and girls have seizures at the mere thought of being locked in a cage with Johnny Depp." I grinned slightly for no apparent reason.

"This isn't a dream, love. It's very much real," Jack assured me. I shook my head.

"No, because it's impossible to travel into fictional universes," I replied. Jack paused.

"You aren't supposed to feel pain in dreams, aye?" I nodded. Jack reached over and pinched me. Hard. At my sudden yelp of pain, he smirked. "I told you, it's real." I gave him a hard stare, blinking every once in a while. Suddenly, I started shaking my head rapidly.

"No, y-you're lying. I'm asleep, actually, and I was not sent into a movie," I muttered, my eyes widening. He wasn't right; I'm not in the movie! With the thoughts of this being real and impossible time travel, I did something very uncharacteristic of me.

I fainted.

I know that chapter was rather short; I'm sorry! I'll try to make the next chapter longer, okay?

Queen B of Randomness 016- Here's your update!

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EverD- Well, puppy-dog eyes don't really work on my, but here's your update anyway. Hehe.