Chapter 4.

Lisbon was lying down next to Jane while he slept. She slid down a bit to be able to put her head on his chest so she could hear his heart still beating. She finally decided to be completely honest with herself and with Jane. She cared about him, had for a long time, but now it looked like the time had ran out for them and there was no point in hiding. She was determined to make the most out of the time they had left, and she could only pray that a donor heart would come forth soon.

Lisbon wasn't by nature very open or affectionate, but looking at the pale man sleeping next to her, she swore that she would make an effort to be completely honest, not hiding her feelings or thoughts, to show him without a doubt how much she cared about him. She knew it wouldn't always be easy, but she was determined to do this. For herself as much as for Jane. She was scared and worried how much she was going to get hurt in the process, but Jane was worth it. And if this was all the time they were given...

It didn't even occur to her that Jane might not feel the same way about her. They had been dancing around each other for a long time, pushing and pulling, but never quite meeting. That would change.

XXX

Dr. Wheeler returned to the CICU in few hours and was happy to see that Agent Lisbon was still curled next to Patrick, who was sleeping. He saw that she was awake so he came to a stop on the other side of the bed and smiled at the woman.

"I'm glad that you stayed. Patrick will need you although he will try to deny it", Doctor Wheeler said.

Lisbon lifted her head up from Jane's chest and carefully untangled herself from the bed trying not to wake Jane up.

"I know and I will give him no choice in the matter", she answered.

"Or you'll...shoot me.?", came a voice from the bed to which Lisbon snapped smiling, "Bite me" to the amusement of the doctor. Jane was looking at Lisbon with a ghost of a smile flitting across his face although his eyes were still dull and lifeless. Lisbon was still sitting next to him on the bed and now she took hold of his hand while turning back to the doctor.

"Once your medication will kick in and your condition is more stable I will move you into a private room. I know how much you hate being on display like this, especially as you can't control who will see you even though you are feeling vulnerable", Doctor Wheeler said quietly.

"That would...be a...relieve" Jane said surprising Lisbon as she had never heard Jane talking this openly with anyone, except with her on few occasion. She squeezed Jane's hand and smiled down at him.

"I will come back tomorrow to talk to you again. We should also be seeing the effects of the medication so maybe we could transfer you within the next few days", Doctor Wheeler said patting Jane on the shoulder before leaving.

Lisbon turned back to Jane still holding his hand and decided that she might as well get all of this out of the way now. She took a deep breath and started haltingly, still not that comfortable with opening up, but determined to try.

"Jane, please do not try to interrupt me as this might be my only chance of saying all of this as you for once aren't capable giving your wise ass remarks", a teasing note creeping to her voice and to her relief Jane smiled at her a curious look ghosting his eyes.

"I care about you, have for a while, but haven't had the courage to say anything or it hasn't been the right time... I'm sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable, but you need to understand why I will be there for you and will help you as much as I'm able to. You don't need to hide from me. I can't promise that I won't get annoyed at you or not feel like I want to shoot you, but I will try my best", Lisbon said smirking, but continued with a more serious tone.

"I don't know how much time we have, but I want to make the best of what we have. I have to believe that donor heart will come soon and you will get better, but if not I want to be there to hold you, to try to make it easier for you... you know...", she finished off with tears in her eyes again and she had to squeeze her eyes shut to prevent them from falling and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't look at Jane just in case he now wanted to throw her out.

Jane knew how Lisbon felt and had enjoyed their dance around the issue although he also cared deeply about her. However hearing her talking about it aloud really emphasised how dire the situation was as he knew how uncomfortable she was talking about feelings. He vowed that whatever this amazing woman next to him wanted, he would give. He couldn't offer much, but if she was hell bent to be there for him, he would embrace it and he would try to show her how much this meant to him. She deserved so much more than the love of a dying man, but that was all he could give.

She was startled when she felt a hand stroking her cheek and opened her eyes to meet Jane's eyes, that now were full of tears. She put her own hand on top of Jane's and held it very close to her cheek.

"For you...I promise...I will not...hide. I'm so sorry...to put you...through this...to be so...selfish but...I don't...want to...die alone" Jane whispered.

Lisbon bend down to rest her forehead on Jane's while her tears were falling freely. Instead of feeling self conscious she openly caressed his cheek. She was completely taken by surprise though when Jane moved under her hand and pressed a soft kiss on her lips. It lasted for a few sweet seconds before Jane had to drop his head back to the pillow. Lisbon opened her eyes to find Jane smiling at her and saying "Not sure...if that's...classified as...physical activity". Lisbon grinned at him and said, "Not if I do all the work", and bend down to kiss him.

XXX

Jane and Lisbon could still communicate without words, which was a benefit when he couldn't hold his end of conversation although he was getting better. It was amazing how easily they slipped into this new dynamic. It felt like when they had finally accepted and acknowledged their feelings, they had bonded instantaneously, soul and all. Lisbon visited him every day after work only going home to sleep after the night shift nurses kindly threw her out. During days she and the team worked on Red John case and Minelli seemed to be perfectly happy with the arrangement.

Lisbon gave updates to the team about Jane's condition as he didn't want them to see him when he was still so vulnerable and the team understood that unspoken request. Once Jane was moved to a private room, they were welcome to visit. That transfer was suppose to take place today and Lisbon was fidgeting.

Finally Cho told her to get out and go to Jane and for once, she didn't protest, but grabbed her jacket and practically flew out smiling. The team were happy that Lisbon and Jane had finally admitted their feelings, although Lisbon had never said anything it was clear that the pair were closer than before. And the fact that Lisbon now called Jane "Patrick". Privately Cho was worried for his boss as if Jane died, she would be hurt so badly that he didn't know whether she would be able to recover.

XXX

When Lisbon arrived in CICU Jane's bed was empty and although she knew it must be because of the transfer a sudden panic welled inside of her and she grabbed one of the nurses that she had become very familiar with.

"Excuse me, but where is Patrick? Did they transfer him already?" she asked and the nurse confirmed this giving out directions to the new ward.

"Please tell him all the best from all of us. He's such a sweet man and I hope that heart comes along soon" the nurse said. Jane had been their favourite patient as he still managed to charm all the staff even if he wasn't able to speak properly.

"An invite us to the wedding" the nurse continued winking at Lisbon, who promptly blushed violently.

XXX

Jane was lying in his new room and felt better with the calmness. It still wasn't quiet because of the heart monitor, but he was used to it now. He even could walk to the toilet with the help of the nurses and could now finish short sentences without feeling like he had ran a marathon. He was eagerly waiting for Lisbon to come by to show off his new found abilities.

He knew that this was just a short term improvement, but he didn't want to think about what would happen eventually if he didn't get a new heart. He wanted to love Lisbon, to leave her with good memories to lessen the pain afterwards. He had never been more sorry for anything than that he would end up hurting Lisbon by leaving, but before that he would give her all of himself if she wanted it. Recently he had thought about his wife and daughter often and how they would have liked Lisbon. He felt that somehow Lisbon had managed to heal that festering wound and now he could think about them with fondness and love, without that ever present pain and agony that had accompanied the thoughts until now. Even his blood lust after Red John didn't seem to consume him as it had before. It seemed to be true that when you were faced with your own mortality, your priorities shifted, Jane was still musing when Lisbon stepped into the room.

"I see you are enjoying your new room already", Lisbon said smiling while bending down to kiss Jane.

"I can finally hear my own thoughts", Jane answered grinning and grabbed the hand of unsuspecting Lisbon and pulled her down to him with a satisfying squeak and started kissing her first slowly and gently, but rapidly losing his control as Lisbon responded. Finally they slowed down exchanging small kisses here and there and just enjoying each other's presence.

"It seems like someone has been hiding their progress" Lisbon smiled at Jane who was now lazily drawing circles on her arm while they were lying down together.

"It looks like they are giving me the good stuff" Jane smiled down at her and they both laughed, but stopped when someone cleared their throat at the door.

"I see that you are feeling much better already" Doctor Wheeler smirked satisfied and felt smug when the pair in front of him blushed, proceeding to update them about Patrick's status

XXX

Jane finally felt comfortable for letting the team to see him and to be honest he was missing them too. Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt came to see him after work and the reunion was happy and full of old bantering although the team could tell that Jane was tiring easily, but at least he seem to be back to his old cheerful self. And he managed to shock the team when he openly kissed Lisbon, who didn't seem to mind in the least confirming their suspicions about the pairs relationship. They finally went home with promises to come back soon leaving Lisbon with Jane. As had become her habit, she climbed into the bed with Jane and snuggled closer.

"I wish I could sleep here" Lisbon said sleepily to which Jane laughed. She was so adorable when she was falling asleep.

"I wish I could sleep in your bed with you preferably in it" Jane whispered to her ear while nuzzling her hair. Lisbon smiled widely with her eyes closed and was just about to reply when a nurse popped her head in reminding them that Lisbon really needed to go home as it was very late and the night shift nurses had already come in.

Lisbon slowly gathered her things and pressed a lingering kiss on Jane's lips and then kissed his forehead before caressing his face,"Behave yourself until I come back tomorrow".

"Goodnight love" Jane responded smiling gently.

XXX

It was late at night when one of the night nurses though she saw something. She got up from her station and went to check on her patients when she saw Doctor Wheeler coming in from the opposite corridor.

"Isn't it a bit late to see the patients?" the nurse greeted the doctor smiling.

"I got delayed with a surgery and thought that I would catch up with Patrick's progress", the doctor answered.

"His notes are on the desk. I'm just about to check on him and the others as I thought I saw someone there just now" the nurse said oblivious to the disturbed look on the doctor's face, who followed her.

When they approached Jane's room, they saw the blinds being closed by someone in the room causing them to hurry their steps as Jane shouldn't be able to walk around unaided yet.

When they barged in to the dark room, there was a figure standing at the foot of the bed looking down at the sleeping man. The figure whipped around and violently pushed them aside fleeing the room. The nurse was pushed to the floor and Doctor Wheeler found himself flung against the wall jarring his elbow badly. Jane had woken up to the commotion and queried sleepily, "What's going on?"

TBC