A/N: First of all, I'm so sorry it took me such a long while to update and that now after all this waiting this chapter is so short, shame on me ! Anyways, I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 4

Kurt sat alone in dark auditorium. He had been there since he didn't know when. He had cried his tears. He had sang 30 Seconds To Mars' The Kill, which was the loudest song he knew (and the only reason he knew it was because of Finn who sang it in the shower almost every morning). It had sounded horrible because of his swollen voice.

After singing he had felt empty, he had collapsed on his seat and hadn't moved. He hadn't thought about anything. He had just stared at one dot in the back of a chair in front of him. He had decided to stare at that dot for the rest of his life until the day he would die.

Auditorium door opened. The quiet creak sounded like a shotgun in that silence. Kurt didn't look away from his dot, not even until someone sat next to him.

They sat in the silence side by side for a moment.

"So you're dating Finn?" Sam asked with a tone like nothing had happened.

Kurt nodded. "Yes."

"Hm."

Silence again.

"I'm sorry." Kurt swallowed the tears down and a trembling sigh fled from his lips. "For everything."

"Don't worry, we didn't have anything serious between us." Sam looked down on his hands. "No big deal."

"It is a big deal. Especially after what you told me back then in the bathroom... I feel awful." Kurt dropped his head down.

"About that... Or you know what, forget it. Better if you don't answer anyway", Sam said, shook his head. Kurt glanced at him interrogatively.

Sam looked away from his eyes. "Because I... I'm being transferred back to my old school."

Kurt's jaw dropped. "What?"

"That was the thing ms. Sylvester wanted to talk about with me", Sam told, looked down at his hands which were tugging one string from the back of the seat before him. "Apparently the fight I had last week with that foreign guy who began to mess with you was enough to expel me. The guy's parents contacted principal Figgins and... that's about it."

"But you stood up for me! Did you tell her that? Besides, Puck was in the fight too, why don't they expel him?"

"I told her, but she said you're lucky not to have detention for causing widespread mayhem. And reputedly Puck only defended himself, but I was the one to attack so it was all my fault."

"I think it was heroic", Kurt said and smiled a little. Sam laughed huskily.

"I'm sorry for you and Finn, you know. And sorry for causing that abusing Quinn set up."

"Don't be sorry. It's all my fault." Kurt sighed. "I should have realized that the truth will eventually uncover. I'm sorry for hurting you and... that you now lost Quinn because of me."

"Nah, I would have had to dump her anyway now that I'm transferring. Don't blame yourself." Sam smiled. "Sadness doesn't look good on you."

Kurt barely managed to smile, but it ended up looking like he was grinning in pain. Sam graced a hair away from Kurt's face with his soft hand, smiled a little.

"I probably should go now." Just when he had said it, the auditorium door opened and Finn stepped inside. When he noticed the two of them, his expressionless face got a shade of anger into it.

"Now I should most definitely go", Sam decided and got up from his seat. "Good luck with Glee, I hope you'll place at Nationals."

"Thanks." Kurt smiled at him, even when Sam had turned around and walked past Finn, out from the auditorium.

Finn took few steps closer to Kurt, but left standing by the first seat of the row. Kurt got up from his seat, stopped six feet away Finn. He couldn't take any step closer. He couldn't even look at Finn. He was too embarrassed by himself.

"I - I'm so sorry, Finn", he whispered. He couldn't stop the tears from bursting to his eyes.

"How can you do this to me? How long exactly were you planning on keeping this up?"

"I was going to leave him the day we made us official!"

"But you didn't. And why's that, Kurt? Do you love him? Do you love him more than me?" Kurt had never heard Finn so cold.

"I -"

"I don't even want to know. You're sick."

"Sam is transferring to his old school, I'm not going to see him ever again", Kurt said quietly, took a quick, hopeful look at Finn.

"So what are you proposing? That now we're cool when Sam's out of the picture? This doesn't work that way, Kurt. How could I ever trust you now after you did this to me?"

"You are one to talk about trusting, I mean, you did the exact same to Rachel that I did to you..." Kurt wasn't planning to say it out aloud, but it had just slipped from his mouth. By the look of Finn's face Kurt could tell that it was the straw that broke the camel's back. Finn turned his back at Kurt, walked to the door.

"Tell mom and dad not to except me home tonight."

And so Finn left, just like Sam had left five minutes ago. From the same door, leaving Kurt standing alone in the empty auditorium.

It was the story of his life.

Kurt sighed heavily and dropped himself on one seat.

Just two days ago he had had two men. One that he loved truly and deeply, and one that fulfilled his needs. Two men who both thought they were his one and only, but neither one was the only one. Kurt had lived in fear. He had constantly deleted messages from his phone, he had lied to everyone around him and twisted his words. He had been exhausted by his own hiding.

Now, besides all the physical pain and the pain in his heart, he felt kind of relieved. Sure, now he was all alone like he had been, and now it would be again like stairway to hell to walk in school halls where there was kissing and cuddling everywhere, and living with Finn would be torture, but now he was able to be him. He could finally relax. He would have time to his friends; if he even had any anymore, though...

Just when he was about to slide down on his seat to lay depressed on the floor, he got up. He had to snap out of his misery. Depressed wasn't something he was. He took a deep breath, put a smile on his face. He could tell it wasn't a honestly happy smile, but it was a start. He just had to push through the pain. This wasn't the end of the world. With some time he would be back in Finn's arms. This was only temporary. Things would cool down now for a while.

"Hello world, this is me, life should be fun for everyone..." Kurt hummed as he walked between the rows of seats to the door and put his hand on the doorknob. "So won't you open up the door and let me in -"

Just when he had pulled the door open he got a cup of slushie right on his face.

"Take that, sucker!" couple of boys yelled, laughed like they had done something revolutionary, hit high-fives and throw the empty cup to the floor on Kurt's feet.

"I have never been so proud of you, girls", Sue Sylvester praised as she was sitting behind her desk, looking at the two girls sitting in front of her. "Now you have destroyed the Glee club and I couldn't thank you enough. Thanks to the little fight our foreign friend incited Sam in, we had the perfect reason to throw him out of the school and take one of the best vocalists out of the club. And now that you, Quinn, found out Kurt's little secret and brought it up, everybody hates him. It costed you a boyfriend, but you did it anyway. That, my friend, is some true loyality."

Quinn looked at Rachel with proud, an evil smile on her lips. Rachel next to her didn't smile.

Ms. Sylvester noticed it too. "What's the matter with you, Berry? This is the best thing you've achieved during your whole miserable high school life, you should feel proud of yourself."

Rachel didn't feel proud. She felt cheap. Ugly. Fat. And that was pretty much the worst feeling she could think of. Now she could easily have Finn, he didn't know she, Rachel, was behind it all. But now she didn't want Finn anymore. She didn't want to have him in such a dishonest way. Finn wouldn't be with her because he loved her. He would be with her because he had no choice, no one else.

Rachel felt disgusted by herself. She had had her revenge. She had had Quinn's, and even Ms. Sylvester's respect which wasn't an easy thing to get.

But she had lost all of her self-respect. And if she even didn't respect herself, how could she ever deserve Finn?

Rachel Berry knew she had to get her self-respect back, or she would never be able to sleep at night. And there was only one way to do it.

What happens next? What is that "only one way" Rachel means? If you want to know answers to these two and other questions, post a review of this chapter!