"What is it?" Arthur looked from Gaius to Merlin and back again. They looked like two stunned rabbits about to be put into a rather large pot.
Merlin couldn't speak, his face had drained of colour as the only thought running through his mind was that his life was over.
Gaius had a strange look on his face, something between guilt and hesitation. The physician studied Merlin intently who, in turn, stared back for several long moments before a resigned expression settled on his face and he nodded in answer to a silent question.
"What is wrong?" Arthur asked again. He didn't like the atmosphere that had come over the three men and he felt a sense of foreboding.
"Arthur," began Gaius quietly in a very sombre tone, "do you believe in magic? I don't mean like your father who thinks of it as a force for evil to enable cruel people to do even crueller things. I mean magic simply as a power or an element such as water or air where waves can lap gently on the shores and light breezes stir the trees on a summer's day to bring relief from stifling heat. On the other hand, they can send crashing waves that destroy even the strongest ships or violent tempests which obliterate whole villages or towns. Such elements are not good or evil – they just are."
Arthur stared at Gaius, unsure what to make of his question. He had never really thought about it – he had been brought up not to think about it. Uther Pendragon ruled with an iron fist, his word was law and never questioned, even by his son – perhaps especially by his own son. However, he was now being asked to think about it and moreover, to give an answer.
"I don't know. I know that magic exists, heaven knows I have encountered enough magical beasts and people with magic but I have always fought and tried to defeat them because they were trying to cause harm."
"What of love? Remember Lady Vivian?" Merlin found his voice as he understood Gaius's line of questioning. The physician was trying to establish Arthur's opinion before deciding whether or not to tell him the truth.
The prince gave an involuntary shudder. "Yes. It's a good thing we managed to stop that going anywhere and having war break out."
"Agreed." Merlin said. "But it was not the lady herself or even the emotion of love that was bad. It was the intent of the person who used the magic, in that case it was King Alined who wanted to cause unrest between the kingdoms." He paused before asking, "Do you see the difference?"
Arthur searched Merlin's eyes even as he searched within himself for his reply which he eventually gave as, "Yes, I suppose so."
"Bearing that in mind, would you then also suppose that good people can use magic to help others?" That came from Gaius. "Perhaps to heal an injury or cure illness, to save lives or give happiness to others. Maybe even to give life where there should be none." The physician showed no emotion and his voice was steady.
Arthur, however, suddenly had memories of the furious fight he had had with his father where he had nearly taken Uther's life and the reason behind it. Baffled by Gaius's questions, Arthur began to have a growing suspicion and it was one he didn't much like.
"What are you trying to tell me?" the prince asked quietly.
"Would you understand why a good person with magic might hide their true nature whilst at the same time using their gift to help those in need?" Gaius's rheumy gaze never left Arthur's face.
There was a long pause before Arthur answered with a simple, "Yes."
"What if that person was someone you trusted?"
An even longer pause was made as Arthur considered this. "I would understand but I would be hurt that they didn't tell me."
During this time, his mind was working overtime to sort out little fragments of hints and suggestions like pieces of a jigsaw. Gradually, realisation dawned as he recalled his earlier suspicions about his servant and suddenly he was certain of what Gaius and Merlin were trying to tell him.
The look on his face told the others that he had put two and two together and the answer was 'Merlin'.
They couldn't read Arthur's expression. He said nothing for a long while as Gaius and Merlin waited for his reaction. The prince seemed to be struggling with himself until, at last, he spoke.
"I guess it explains a few things," but Arthur did not say what they were. He seemed to be confirming a few things in his head. "And what of me saying that I used magic? I was able to levitate a branch and move it a few feet through the air. Did I get it from Merlin or was it caused by something else?"
Gaius sighed as he conceded, "It's Merlin. Despite the fact that your personalities and minds simply switched bodies, something of your spirits and essences is left behind and is passed onto whoever takes over. In your case, you have absorbed some of Merlin's gift."
Arthur regarded Merlin silently but his look expressed a hint of betrayal and wariness mixed with a tiny bit of awe.
"I'm sorry Arthur," apologised Merlin. "I couldn't take the risk but I had to help you any way I could. You are Camelot's heir and important to its future. To everyone's future."
"What if I were to banish you right now? That you were to return only on pain of death."
"Then you would have to banish us both, my lord. We each have part of the other and I do not think your father would accept either my body with your soul or your body with my soul. We survive together or not at all until the cure is found."
Arthur said nothing as he knew Merlin was correct, Uther would never accept his heir as being anything less than perfect.
"What are you going to do, sire?" asked Gaius. The most important thing to know at the moment was if Merlin was going to be exposed as a sorcerer.
"I don't know," admitted Arthur. "We should really get ourselves fixed before anything else." The truth was that the full impact of Merlin's revelation had not sunk in yet and the best way for the prince to cope was to tackle the problems that he had a better chance of solving.
The furrow of Arthur's brow and set of his jaw indicated that he did not intend to say anymore about this latest predicament. Realising this, Gaius set about explaining the reason for the transformation and the need for moonstone.
"It's impossible," said Arthur glumly when Gaius has finished speaking. "Four days is not enough time to get to and climb the mountain let alone find the moonstone and return before the full moon. We will have to gather it in time for the next cycle."
Merlin looked aghast and protested. "Arthur, we have to try! I can't possibly compete in the tournament as you and you have to be there to show face and to prove the strength of Camelot. As for you, I am certain that you have absolutely no desire to be a servant."
"None at all!" was the vehement agreement.
"We would be found out before we even got a whiff of moonstone."
The prince stared at Merlin. He understood what he was saying, he just didn't know how to achieve their goal in such a short space of time.
As if reading his mind, Merlin said, "That's the part we are still working on. However, I believe that we can make a start."
"Oh?"
"Well, you will need to stay here as me, of course. In the meantime, I will tell the king that a strange beast has been spotted and that I will go and seek it out – that will give me the perfect reason to leave the castle. Hopefully, I will be able to return in time with what we need."
Arthur looked doubtfully at Merlin.
"It is the only way." Gaius spoke up. "Otherwise, we greatly increase the risk of discovery." He turned to Arthur. "As for your duties as Merlin, I can always plead illness on your behalf so at most, you can perform only light duties or errands for me and that way, you can remain relatively undisturbed by other people."
As temporary solutions went, Arthur had to agree that it was about as good as he was going to get for the time being and at least, he wouldn't be scrubbing endless floors for a while!
Uther regarded Merlin with concern. "But it means you might miss the tournament."
Merlin bowed his head slightly in a way he thought Arthur would and said in his most respectful tone, "Camelot's safety comes first. I shall leave at first light."
The king nodded approvingly. "Very well, you are right, of course. You will make a fine king, Arthur."
"You have everything?" asked Gaius who tried not to show his worry.
"Yes, I think so." Merlin gave his pack a pat.
Arthur and Gaius were with Merlin to see him off on his quest for the precious moonstone and they walked him out to where Arthur's horse was saddled and waiting for him. Merlin was wearing the obligatory chainmail and was finding it difficult to get used to the added bulk.
"Good grief," puffed Merlin to Arthur. "How do you get about in this stuff? It weighs a ton!"
The prince gave a laugh. "Practice," he repeated Merlin's earlier reply to him regarding his own work. "You get used to it." Arthur looked seriously at him as he mounted up. "Be careful, Merlin. Good luck."
Merlin nodded and bade farewell to him and the physician before nudging his horse into a canter and riding out of the city gates.
Gaius looked at Arthur with shared concern before a speculative glint lit his eyes. Rubbing his hands together, Gaius started back towards his chambers whilst calling, "Come along then, it's time for you to have a quick course in ointments and tinctures."
Merlin had been riding for a couple of uneventful hours now and he decided it was time to stop and let his horse rest for a bit. Dismounting, Merlin cleared a spot at the base of a tree and took out his map for Mount Gealach. Four days. Arthur was right. Deep down, Merlin knew it was an impossible task but it was one he had to undertake anyway. Even with his best guess, he calculated that he wouldn't reach the fabled mountain until the third day and that was providing the weather stayed fair and nothing untoward happened. Pulling a hunk of bread and cheese from his pack, Merlin chewed methodically as he tried to remain optimistic and push thoughts of failure from his mind.
Arthur had been right in that they could just wait for the next full moon but the chances of them maintaining the pretence of being each other without arousing suspicion for an entire month were slim to nil. Especially now that Morgana was no longer to be trusted, she would be sure to bring about his downfall and that of Arthur and his father if she had the opportunity.
A sudden thought occurred to him, one he hadn't considered until this moment.
Holding out his hand, palm upwards, he whispered into the still air and waited for an anxious second before a flame appeared and danced on his outstretched hand. Closing his fingers over the fire, Merlin spoke again and when he reopened his hand, the fire had disappeared and changed into two butterflies which fluttered gracefully into the air.
Merlin breathed a sigh of relief. Magic was an integral part of him and it was something he could rely upon even if he preferred not to use it if possible and whether he liked it or not, it made him who he was.
His fear was unfounded though. His gift was more than just a physical manifestation - it was his essence of being and accordingly transcended his physical form.
After a morning spent with Gaius, Arthur had to admit he had been fascinated by the physician's work – the way he ground and extracted distillations from numerous herbs, most of which he had no idea even existed, and turned them into various remedies to treat all manner of ailments.
At the moment, though, he was regretting having expressed quite so much interest as after pointing out some pictures in a book and writing out a small list, Gaius had sent Arthur out to collect a few different herbs.
He was currently standing in the middle of the kitchen gardens, a collecting bag in one hand while scratching his head with the other. The first name on the list was 'sage' and he hadn't the faintest idea which one of the varied and many green leaves it was. The pictures he had been shown were but a faint blur in his memory and of no use to him at all. Arthur was also in the awkward position that he couldn't even ask anyone else for help as he was supposed to be 'Merlin' and talented student of Gaius who had mentored him for the last three years. There was no way that he could not know what he had been sent to collect.
Arthur was about to turn back empty-handed when he saw the garden gate open and Gwen step through. He felt his heart leap and he beamed with pleasure at seeing her.
"Guinevere, it's nice to see you."
She gave him a slightly puzzled smile. "Hello, nice to see you too. You're formal today."
"Hmm?" Arthur was confused.
Gwen chuckled a little. "Merlin, you never call me by my full name."
Hell's bells! He had forgotten he was supposed to be someone else. "Oh, I hadn't noticed. Sorry."
"It's alright," she smiled, "I just wasn't expecting it, that's all." Gwen looked round about him. "What are you doing?"
"Ah, Gaius asked me to get some herbs for him."
"Oh, I'll leave you to it, then. I just came to gather some mint."
Mint! That was one of the items on his list. Arthur hesitated, unsure what to do next.
Gwen gave him a curious look. It wasn't like Merlin to seem so, well, lost when running errands for Gaius. "Are you alright, Merlin?"
Arthur thought quickly. "Um, yes…um…no. I'm not feeling very well but Gaius needs these quite urgently. I'm just a bit disorientated, that's all."
At the news that her friend was unwell, Gwen's thoughtfulness came to the fore and she immediately took the list from his hand. "Here, let me help you, we'll be done in half the time." She grinned at him before leading the way around the herb garden.
Arthur stood back a little and watched the young woman who had forever changed him move efficiently around the fragrant leaves on light feet. He loved her with all his heart but right now, he hurt from the knowledge that she didn't see him for his true self but as someone else entirely. The smile that Gwen gave him was warm and genuine but it was the smile of friendship, not the smile of love that he treasured when he was himself.
"Hey, daydreamer! Ill or not, I'm not doing all your work for you," she teased good-naturedly.
Arthur gave himself a shake and moved to follow her. At least he was able to spend time with her openly – even if it was under false pretences, it was better than not being with her at all.
"Where have you been?" asked Gaius when Arthur returned several hours later. "I was getting worried."
Arthur couldn't keep the grin from his face. "I was talking to Guinevere. Sorry, I didn't notice the time."
"Ahh, I see." Gaius nodded knowingly but said no more as he took the long-awaited herbs and turned back to his work so that he hid the smile that was on his face.
Arthur gazed at the older man's back as he took a deep breath and gathered his nerve.
"Gaius?"
"Mmm-hmm?" The physician was concentrating on carefully pouring out a few drops from a steaming beaker into smaller bottle.
"I was wondering…um…wondering…"
Gaius caught the catch in Arthur's tone and realised that the seriousness in the young man required him to stop and give his undivided attention. "Yes?"
"Gaius, would you teach me a bit about magic?"
It was now the morning of the third day and it was still half a day's ride to Mount Gealach. Rain had fallen heavily the day before which made the ground slippery and the footing uncertain which delayed his progress. There was no way Merlin was going to fulfil his quest in time. He sighed dejectedly. There was too much at stake and the thought of the likely consequences of failure filled him with despair. He slumped lower into his saddle as he wracked his brain for some solution.
He rode on for some time before coming to a halt in a secluded clearing. He dismounted and tethered his steed to a bush at the far edge of the clearing before walking to stand in the centre of the space.
Throwing his head back, Merlin and shouted ancient words to the skies as energy flowed through him.
As the last syllable left him, Merlin stood still as he listened and waited.
"Emrys." Merlin heard him before he saw him. "Why have you called me?"
"I need your help, Kilgarrah."