December 29, 2009

---

"Remind me again why I have to be here?" Reid whined childishly from his seat on Derek's couch.

Aaron shook his head as he and Dave took a seat on the other of the two couches in the room, all facing the TV. Derek had invited them all over for the World Juniors. Emily had convinced him it would be a good idea to get out, to spend some time with the boys before having to ring in the New Year. She wanted him to have some good memories of 2009, and he recognized that. So, he'd dropped Jack off at Jessica's and headed to Derek's. Emily had headed to JJ's.

"You need some exposure to popular culture, Reid," Derek replied, his tone no where close to patient. "You need to see some sports, get a feel for guy stuff."

"I lead a perfectly happy and content life without sports," Reid protested. "I don't need sports!"

Dave chuckled. "They will never learn, will they?"

"It works for them," Aaron replied, taking a swig from the beer bottle in his hand. He wasn't much of a sports buff, but he had a feeling that it wasn't so much about the sports as the company that the guys had been so gun-ho on.

"Hmm," Dave said. "And what would work for you?"

Aaron raised an eyebrow. "What are you asking me, Dave?"

"I'm asking you how things are. How is Jack?"

"Jack is good," Aaron replied quietly, unwilling to interrupt the bickering Derek and Reid were doing. It was always a source of amusement for the team and this time was no different. "He's… adjusting."

"So are you," Dave replied. "Nightmares?"

"Sometimes, for both of us."

"And Emily?"

Aaron knew that was what Dave was really looking for. Jack was a cover, though he also knew that Jack was of a concern to the team. "She's… been staying with us."

"Every night?" Dave asked, unable to keep the surprise from tingeing his voice.

"Most of them," Aaron allowed. "Your help for her Christmas gift was… invaluable."

"I take it she liked it?" Dave said with a smirk. He'd known the minute Aaron had mentioned the book to him that Emily would absolutely love it. He'd been more than happy to help find it.

"She… That's probably an understatement." It was an understatement. Of the extreme form. And from the expectant look on Dave's face, he was waiting to hear more. "Dave, just come out with it."

"You two looked pretty cozy at the rink a couple of days ago," Dave replied, sipping his beer.

"We're… taking baby steps," Aaron answer, deliberately under the exclamations of Derek and Reid.

"It's a good way to start," Dave agreed. "Are you ready for it?"

Aaron sighed heavily. "I don't know," he admitted. He dropped into silence as Dave started yelling at the screen with Derek and, much to his own surprise, Reid.

Finally, Dave settled back against the couch again. "I once told you that you needed to start holding onto the light in your life with both hands. If Foyet should have taught you anything, Aaron, it should have been that life is too short for 'maybe's. Emily is that light in your life."

Dave fell silent for a few moments before speaking again. "Haley would have wanted you to move on, Aaron, not just for you, but for your son."

Penelope squealed at a vase as they surfed the website of their favourite home boutique store. There was an online sale that had just started, but Penelope had been able to get in an hour before opening. They'd been surfing for hours and while JJ and Penelope had made a handful of purchases a piece, but Emily hadn't settled on anything. Half of her couldn't remember what her apartment looked like because she'd been spending that much time at Aaron's place.

"Chica come on!" Penelope exclaimed, laughter in her voice. "You have to get something. This sale will never happen again"

Emily sighed. She was trying, really she was, but everything she saw she immediately related back to Aaron and Jack and instead of thinking about whether it would look good in her apartment, she kept thinking about how it would look in Aaron's apartment. It was a few clicks before Emily let out an appreciative sound.

JJ raised an eyebrow. While it was a beautiful baby blue fleecey blanket, it wouldn't match anywhere in Emily's apartment. Emily used jewel tones, classic white, black and dark reds, blues and greens. The blanket would stand out in her décor, no matter where she put it. Emily, on the other hand, was a little wrapped up in a different world with a little brown-haired boy wrapped up in that soft blanket. She could picture Jack cuddled in her lap, wrapped up in that blue, smelling like baby shampoo and baby soap.

Penelope wasn't about keeping her opinion to herself. "It's fuzzy and probably warm, Em, but it doesn't match anything in your apartment."

Now that Penelope had opened the door, JJ piped up with, "And you already have a million blankets, more than you could really ever need."

Emily blushed.

Penelope outright squealed. "This has everything to do with how cozy the two of you looked skating, doesn't it!"

JJ was smirking from the other side of Penelope and Emily felt her cheeks heat with a redder blush. "You did look rather content skating around, holding hands."

Penelope gasped. "This is better than I thought!" she exclaimed. "I take it he liked whatever you gave him for Christmas then?"

"What did you end up giving him?" JJ inquired, the sale now forgotten in the pull of gossip. The team had been watching Emily and Aaron together since Haley had walked out with Jack and they had seen this coming long before Emily and Aaron had really stepped up to the plate.

Emily mumbled her answer and both blondes raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry," Penelope said with a shake of her head, "I missed that."

"I gave him a drawing," Emily answered, this time a little bit louder.

"Like by an artist? I didn't know Hotch was into art," Penelope said.

JJ was smirking. With the amour of time she and Emily spent together on the road, JJ had become rather accustomed to Emily's rather artistic doodles. "He does when he artist is a woman he's attracted to." She would have gone with loved, but figured Emily still wouldn't quite be accepting of that particular fact just yet.

"You drew him a picture?" Penelope asked with awe. "Bypassing my lack of knowledge about your artistic abilities, you are so head over heels, my vision. What did he say?"

Emily knew there was a sweet smile floating over her face, but there was nothing she could really do to stop it.
Penelope's grin was dirtier. "That good huh?"

JJ rolled her eyes. "So what happened?"

"He hugged me," Emily answered, trying to downplay what came after. The blondes watched her expectantly and Emily sighed. She was starting to see that her friends weren't going to drop the subject anytime soon. It was probably just going to be easier if she fessed up to the whole thing now instead of letting them make their own conclusions. "He gave me Little Women."

"The book, I hope," JJ joked.

"Hardcover, embossed... Probably cost a small fortune," Emily agreed. "So I kissed him."

Penelope's eyes bugged out of her head. "You kissed him?"

"I couldn't think of another way that would effectively express my gratitude," Emily defended. "And he didn't seem that against it at the time."

"He kissed you back?! Jayje, this is better than anything we could come up with in a million years," Penelope gushed.

"And now?" JJ asked. They had seemed really cozy at the rink, but the media liaison also saw them talking seriously against the boards.

"Now..." Emily replied, "we're playing things by ear."

---

"That can mean a number of things," Dave said.

Aaron sighed. "We're taking it slow."

"Because of who?"

Aaron had to think about that for a moment. He knew a big chunk of it was for him. He still carried guilt for Haley's death and probably would for the rest of his life. At the same time, he knew that it was because of that guilt that Emily wanted to take it slow. She wanted to make sure things would work between them, at least for a little while. He didn't want to hurt her, just like she didn't want him to hurt her. And neither of them wanted Jack to get caught in the middle. But he didn't want her to be his dirty little secret either, he didn't want her to live in a kind of limbo because of what had happened with Haley. He wanted to put that guilt aside, really he did, and Emily had gone a long way at diminishing the absolute guilt that usually overcame him.

"Both of us," he finally said.

"Probably a good idea," Dave agreed. "You just lost Haley, Emily's afraid Haley's will always haunt you."

Aaron had to sigh. "She will always be a part of me."

"And Emily understands that much," Dave allowed. "I think she's just worried you're going to let Haley consume you."

"Haley stopped consuming me when the divorce papers were filed," Aaron admitted. "My guilt isn't about loving her, it's about forcing her into a position where she was killed. I haven't been in love with Haley for years."

"I know that," Dave responded. "But the question is whether Emily does." The elder profiler paused. "I think that whatever you guys are going through, whatever you decide to do, the fact that you have each other isn't just good for you and for Jack, but for Emily too."

Aaron found himself chewing his cheek. "How deep is she, Dave?"

"As deep as you are," Dave replied immediately. "You can't lie to me and say you don't love her."

"I can't say I do either."

---

"We all see it," Penelope said, the first serious comment she'd had through the entire conversation. Her niche was the light-hearted one, the one who ensured that nothing became too serious. "You and Hotch... your relationship is different. It always has been, from day one. He went to you when we had that case in Milwaukee. It was you he leaned on after New York. It was you who supported him when Haley walked out, you who went to find him and, for goodness sakes, Em, how on earth can you deny it when you were the only one who he would actually talk to after Foyet drove Haley and Jack underground."

"Em, Hotch and I are close, you know that," JJ spoke up softly. "And Hotch... it may take time but he does love you. I think you know that."

"Even if I do," Emily replied, keeping the same volume as JJ had, "that doesn't change much." She sat back, away from the computer screen. "I can't deny that I want the white picket fence, that I want the permanent and oh-so-illusive 'forever' with him. I do, I really do. I'm just... I'm also realistic. It's not going to be any time soon and I recognize that." She could feel the blush rising over her face. "Call me a glutton for punishment, but having him this way is better than not having him at all."

"I don't think you'll be waiting that long," Penelope said with a snort of amusement.

JJ reached out and squeezed her best friend's hand. "I'm glad you're getting this opportunity," she said quietly. "If any one deserves the chance at happiness again, it's you and it's Hotch."

Emily smiled, understanding what JJ was saying and truly hoping that maybe, just maybe 2010 would bring less hardship than 2009.

I can say with the utmost confidence that I hate this chapter. Which, really, is okay, because I absolutely adore the next chapter.

I owe the greatest of thanks to Sarah on this one. Honey... I owe you the world right now for helping me out with this idiot of a chapter. As I'm sure you can tell, I still didn't get a handle on it (so much so that I'm actually terribly uncomfortable posting it the way it is, but I can't do anything with it and trust me, I have tried), but thank you for all of your help in trying to make this work.

So the next chapter is pretty much completely written, I just have to tweak a few things at the end. Thus, it should be up tomorrow. Then there's the 31st and the New Year and I'm done this one!

Reviews are like drugs and I can't get enough of 'em. So please drop me a line, even if it's just to let me know you're reading.