Warning: from here on, lots and lots of spoilers for the plot and puzzle solutions of Portal (which is still owned by Valve, not me).
Chapter 4
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*static*
*flash*
The dull grey walls of the SGC were replaced by the lighter grey - but equally plain - walls of the Aperture Science Enrichment centre. Jack looked around and noticed he was inside a room with striped class walls. The room also contained a toilet, radio, and what he figured was some sort of stasis pod or resting chamber for a human or humanoid. A light flickered overhead and a timer counted down the ten-thousandths of seconds in a minute. Also in the room stood Samantha Carter, decked out in an orange jumpsuit. "Carter?"
"Sir," she replied, her tone implying, 'All's well.'
"So, this is the beginning of the game," he said conversationally.
"Yep. The orientation speech should start soon."
"Sweet." Jack picked up a mug from the stand beside the sleeping chamber, but found it empty. "Should have brought a snack," he mused.
Before Sam could reply, a female computerised voice began speaking in a sing-song manner which Jack found slightly creepy.
"Hello, and again, welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center. We hope your brief detention in the relaxation vault has been a pleasant one. Your specimen has been processed and we are now ready to begin the test proper. Before we start however, keep in mind that although fun, and learning are the primary goals of the enrichment center activities, serious injuries may occur. For your own safety, and the safety of others, please refrain from..." The warning unexpectedly broke off into indecipherably glitched gibberish, accompanied by sparks. "...and back. The portal will open in three... two... one."
"That warning was... not useful. Is it meant to do that?" Jack wondered.
Sam shrugged. "I think so. It did the exact same thing when I played."
"Must be someone's idea of a joke," Jack figured. He looked through the newly opened portal. "I can see us."
Sam pointed to the right, through the glass wall. "There's the other end of the portal. You can see us there too. If you stay here and I walk through, you'll be able to clearly see how it works."
"Carter..." he began to protest, but she'd already gone. Looking through the portal, she was only a few steps away, but looking through the glass wall she was... a few more steps away in a different direction. "Okay, I get it. I'm coming through. He stepped through the portal, hearing a slight buzz in his ears but not feeling anything. "It's certainly a smoother ride than the Stargate," he commented.
Sam nodded. "Much smoother."
Jack noticed a large white sign on the wall. "Stage 00 of 19," he read. "And I figure those symbols mean stuff will be dropped from above and we don't want to get hit in the head?"
"Pretty much," Sam agreed. "This way." She started walking around the glassed-in area, and Jack followed close behind. They came to an open doorway, through which a big red button was visible. On entering the room, a dispenser in the ceiling could be seen holding some kind of cube. A moment later, it opened and the cube dropped to the floor with a metallic clunk.
"Ah, it's, 'beware the falling cubes!' Good to know. So, I assume that the blue dotted line across the floor means this big red button opens that door, which is where we need to go?"
"Exactly," Sam confirmed. To illustrate, she stood on the button, changing the indicator lights from blue to orange, opening the door, and changing the big cross mark beside the door to a tick.
"Sweet! We get to push big red buttons without anything exploding! I'm going to love this game," Jack declared as he picked up the metal cube. Sam stood aside and the door automatically closed. Jack dropped the cube on the button to hold the door open, so they could both proceed. "Pretty simple, but it is level 0, after all," he reasoned as they passed through the doorway.
"Excellent," the voice-from-nowhere intoned. "Please proceed into the chamber-lock after completing each test." The pair took this as their cue to proceed. "First, however, note the incandescent particle field across the exit. This Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille will vapourize any unauthorized equipment that passes through it. For instance, the Aperture Science Weighted Storage Cube." By this time, they were already in the elevator, heading to the next level.
"I think that thing - person - whatever - likes to hear itself talk," Jack commented.
"It does a good job of explaining the game. Mostly," Sam weakly defended.
"Eh, you do much better," Jack complimented. "So, what have we got to do next?" He checked the sign. "No fancy warning symbols this time."
Sam pointed to the left. "We jump down there."
Jack mentally measured it. "That's quite a drop. My knees won't like it."
"That won't matter while we're in the game. And we have these things clipped to our ankles so we can fall a long way without being hurt."
"Ah, I kinda wondered why we had those things. Makes it awkward to walk quickly. So... down there." Jack looked over the edge. "After you," he offered.
Sam casually jumped over the edge and landed daintily on her feet, thanks to the heelsprings. "See Sir, the heel-springs make it perfectly safe!"
Jack made the leap a little more cautiously, and was satisfied when he landed without pain. An orange portal opened behind him and the voice began giving instructions. "Please place the Weighted Storage Cube on the 1500 megawatt Aperture Science Heavy Duty Super-colliding Super-button."
Jack ignored it for the time being and commented, "Okay, you were right this time. I suppose this makes me Heel-spring Jack."
"Uh, that's Spring-heel Jack. Sir," Sam corrected, belatedly adding the Sir.
"That it is... but I'm Heel-spring Jack."
"As you wish, Heel-spring Sir," Sam answered teasingly.
"Ha ha, Carter."
"That's Colonel Heel-spring Carter."
Jack decided that was enough goofing off. "Enough of that, Carter. We have a puzzle to solve. What's this about a super-something?"
"It's just another box we drop on a button to open a door."
"Oh. I suppose that since there's no other way out, it's through that portal?" Jack took a closer look, and was surprised when the view of the other side changed. "Whoa, what happened?"
"The other end of the portal is cycling between multiple destinations," Sam explained. "We need to wait until it's set to take us to the right place."
"Which is where?"
"I'll let you figure that out, Sir."
Jack watched a few more changes and concluded, "We've got a box, a button and a door on the other ends. That makes it pretty simple." He waited for the box - or Weighted Storage Cube - to reappear and stepped in. By the time he had picked up the cube and returned to the portal, it was gone, leaving a blank wall and no exit. "Hey! Carter?"
Sam waved at him through the glass wall.
"Not funny, Carter!" Jack waited until the blue portal reappeared and hurried back through. "Stay with me, Carter. I don't want to lose you. I mean I don't want to get lost in this place."
Sam pointed through the glass wall. "You were only that far away, and there was only one way out. You couldn't possibly have become lost."
"For a moment there was no way out!" Jack protested.
"You need to think fourth dimensionally," Sam teased.
"This is heavy," Jack replied. "You can put it on the button."
With a smile, Sam took the cube, stepped halfway through the portal, and tossed it onto the button. "Done."
Opening the door triggered another computerised message-from-above. "Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber-lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the button are not part of this test."
"Um, Carter, I think we should get going." Jack made sure the portal would take him to the right place, and hurried through with Sam close behind.
"Actually I think it's just trying to hurry us along. There's no danger from the button."
"I'd rather not risk it," Jack replied as the elevator took them to the next test chamber.
"Whoever is running these tests has an odd sense of humour. You'll see," Sam assured him.
"If you say so." Jack found the next sign and examined it to see what Test Chamber 2 would involve. Again, there were not warning symbols The voice began before he could comment to Sam.
"You're doing, very, well. Please be advised that a noticable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol, but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grille, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."
"Uh... I really hope you're right about the sense of humour, Carter." Sam didn't say anything, but instead hurried through the door that had opened. The sound of an energy buildup was heard as they descended some stairs, and a ball of blue portal energy came flying through a small window. It impacted on the wall and opened a new portal. Sam stepped through with Jack close behind. They found themselves overlooking the area they had seen during the dental warning, but from the opposite direction and with no glass in the way. A portal gun could be seen, rotating and periodically firing portals at the four walls.
"You can do the honours, Sir," Sam offered with a flourish.
Nodding, Jack jumped down and removed the Portal Gun from the pedestal. "Sweet."
"Very good. You are now in possession of the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. With it, you can create your own portals. These inter-dimensional gates have proven to be completely safe. The device, however, has not. Do not touch the operational end of the device. Do not look directly at the operational end of the device. Do not submerge the device in liquid, even partially. Most importantly, under no circumstances should you-" The warning ended in garbled sound and static.
Jack looked like he wanted to drop the device and run. "Uh, Carter, are you sure this is a good idea?"
"It's a game, Sir. Stop worrying."
"Does that mean it's okay to look into..."
"Better not," Sam quickly answered.
"Fine, I won't. I guess I need a portal to get back up to where you are."
Sam pointed at the orange portal they had walked out of. "Just fire at the nearest wall, and you'll be able to walk through to here."
With a little fiddling, Jack found a comfortable grip and the trigger. He pulled, and a blob of portal energy hit the wall. Sam waved at him through the newly formed portal. "Nice!" He willingly stepped through and they left through the newly-opened sliding door.