Coyefeesh Vs Mario

Author's Notes: Sooooooooo...yeah, I'm still alive. If you can call being in high school with 4 AP classes being alive :/ anyways, it's summer break now, so I have some time to write this. Chapter 5 is also nearly complete, so that's something to look forward to. Also, please forgive me if my English is not very good, it is my second language.

To Old Justice: Yep, he's old. And it only gets more confusing from here, so hold on a bit until things get explained, ok? XD

To FOXHOUND: Maaaaaaaybe...

To Guest #1: Why would Red be so dead?

To Guest #2-6: Here's the update.

To Raging Guest: There is so much wrong with this review that it makes me feel like my English is good o.O Japanese people are Asians. Also, the 20 other reviewers who actually posted reviews apparently like to read this.

To Destiny Willowleaf: The only Kirby games I've played are Amazing Mirror (not done) and Nightmare in Dreamland. I don't really know much about the Ultra Sword. Also, don't underestimate fish, because they are used to kill people in Team Fortress 2.

To post the review: Meta Knight being referred to as a Gary Sue is a reference to the popular belief that he is overpowered in Brawl. According to the official rankings, Meta Knight is an SS ranked character, holding a complete rank to himself.

To Tairulz: Glad you liked it! On a side note, I prefer the Soul Eater manga over the anime. The anime's ending was kinda...crappy :/ (no spoilers)

Chapter 4: Not a Leader

Coyefeesh's Headquarters…

Despite being called Coyefeesh's HQ, this magnificent building was anything but. Meta Knight, Kirby, Ness and even Bowser had taken part in building a headquarters, hoping that they would inspire Coyefeesh to help. He never did. Every day, he would sit back and watch as the other four and thousands of Bowser's minions built his HQ.

Finally, three months later, construction was complete. The building consisted of an east wing and a west wing, interconnected by a hallway on the first and second floor. The east wing consisted mainly of everyday function rooms, such as living room, kitchen, dining area, hangout place, training room, game room, and technology room. The west wing, which was further away from the main entrance and more heavily protected, consisted of the living areas, or the bedrooms. It was decided that Bowser Jr. would command the castle and the minions while Bowser was away. Kirby was the most satisfied with his room, for he had a built-in kitchen. Meta Knight decided to have a training facility built in his room. The HQ had high security, with motion detection and heat cameras and whatnot.

Coyefeesh had the nerve to ask to see his room, after he did absolutely nothing to contribute to the building of his headquarters. After he seemed unsatisfied with his room (complete with a swimming pool, hot tub, spa, waterbed, super air conditioning system, 60" TV, etc.), Meta Knight had enough of his laziness and pickiness, especially after they had worked so hard for his room. "Get out," he commanded.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, you can't tell me to get out," said Coyefeesh.

"Yeah I can," replied Meta Knight bluntly.

"Nuh uh, I'm your leader," defended Coyefeesh.

"No you're not!" came a chorus of voices from the rest of the group. The group promptly kicked him out.

Which was how Coyefeesh randomly met a flying Red and his Pokémon while he was walking around pitying himself.

Coyefeesh was confused when he saw a kid with unknown creatures fly out of the sky, and even more confused when the kid called him an offspring of a Magicarp and a human. Coyefeesh took personal offense to the statement and unleashed his H2O Beam on these unfortunate creatures (and Red). Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Ivysaur and Squirtle took slight or moderate damage, but Charizard panicked and held his tail. "CHAR CHARI ZARD!" cried Charizard.

"Man, what the hell, you Man-i-carp, you almost killed my Charizard!" yelled Red, who was soaked.

"Aw, crap, more imaginary creatures," said Coyefeesh as he dialed Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends on his cell phone.

In ten seconds flat, a truck came. The driver got out and shot the Pokémon (and Red) with tranquilizing darts. The six looked confused before they fell asleep, which allowed the driver to tie them up and toss them in the back of the truck. "Nice doing business with ya!" the driver said to Coyefeesh, driving off.

"Anytime," Coyefeesh muttered darkly, hiding a small smile under his face…

Bowser's Castle…

After asking around nicely, AKA threatening people, the old man found Bowser's Castle. The man learned that this castle was not here before, but it appeared three months ago. Rumors of sightings of strange mushroom-like creatures were confirmed by the man, who saw the Goomba at Kuppa's castle. He had wanted to go back to check for more clues, but the castle had mysteriously disappeared after the bright light took Kuppa.

The man easily defeated all of the minions (he wondered what the point of having them was) to advance to the throne room. There, he kicked down the door to find a content Bowser Jr. slaving around his other siblings. "Hey!" said Bowser Jr. as he saw that the door was knocked down. "Who do ya think u are?"

"You can call me Snake," replied Snake. "I have some business to attend to with the guy in charge. That's you, I presume?"

"Hell ya! I'm totally the head boss awesome dude when Papa's on leave!"

Snake ignored the reptile's bad choice of wording (Bowser Jr.: Hey!) and left, learning that the leader was on leave, but he was stopped by Bowser Jr. "Ya cant jus leave after breaking down da door! Pay the price or suffer at my hands!"

"No," stated Snake as he shot a RPG missile into the throne room, blowing away Bowser's kids, and creating a lot of dust. "Owchies…"

When the dust had cleared, Snake was gone, seemingly disappearing into thin air.

"U's gonna pay, ya hear dat?"

Coyefeesh's HQ…

A man sought residence after walking in a desert for two days. He had almost died of thirst, but luckily he had found a rat and drank its blood. As disgustingly gross it sounded, it was his only way of survival.

This man looked like a younger version of Snake. His long blond hair trailed down to his greenish brownish leather jacket. His brown jeans were supported by an expensive-looking belt, and the bottom was tucked into combat boots.

He felt a good five tons removed off of his shoulders as he spotted the fancy headquarters in front of him. Remembering his manners, he knocked on the front door. The man was quite startled when a big-headed kid (How does he even find caps his size?) opened the door.

"O.O," said the man.

"How do you even say 'O.O,'?" Ness asked, but he was totally ignored.

The man, ignoring Ness breaking the fourth wall, walked into the mansion and straight towards the fridge. Ness stared wide-eyed as the man ate every last scrap of food in the fridge, despite some of it being raw. He seemed to be eating more than Kirby! ...No, wait, no one ate more than Kirby. But still!

Speaking of Kirby, Kirby randomly walked into the kitchen and spotted the man eating all of the food. Enraged, he took out his hammer out of nowhere and pretty much murdered the man, until Meta Knight came out to observe the commotion and stop it. Bowser randomly walks into the scene and sighs, since he misses everything fun.

Ten minutes later…

A beat up man, a satisfied Kirby with chocolate, an amused Ness, a bored Bowser, and Meta Knight with no facial expression whatsoever sat on a couch in the living room. The silence was apprehensive.

The silence was broken be chewing sounds from Kirby eating chocolate. Ness couldn't hold back anymore and burst out laughing. Meta Knight frowned at this and turned to the man.

"State your business here," he demanded.

The man was somewhat intimidated by Meta Knight, even though he is like two feet tall. "My name is Snake. I was teleported to … wherever this place is…somehow. I don't remember much about my previous life, but I do remember that I appeared in a desert east of here and I wandered through it for two days, and I seek residence here," explained the man, who revealed himself to be…Snake.

Since we already have a Snake in this story, we will call this guy Snake(2) until further notice to avoid confusion.

After hearing the name Snake(2), Bowser got fired up. "You liar! I just heard from Jr. that you attacked my castle a while ago! How can you be wandering around a desert if you were attacking my kid(s)?" Bowser roared, and charged at Snake.

Meta Knight held his sword out to stop Bowser. "Wait, there's a way to tell if he's telling the truth. Ness?"

Ness nodded, He held out his hand and used creepy PSI powers to scan Snake(2)'s brain for authentication. "His story seems legit."

"Blasphemy!" cried Bowser. "My son would never lie to me! Come at me, I will aven-" He collapsed slightly before finishing.

All eyes turned towards Meta Knight, who had just knocked out Bowser with a solid hit to the head with the hilt of Galaxia. "What? He was pissing me off," Meta Knight stated simply.

Everyone else made a mental note to never piss off Meta Knight.

Suddenly, a loud crash sounded from near the entrance of the HQ, startling everyone. Seconds later, a beat-up Coyefeesh flew across the room with many bruises and three black eyes (one eye had two shades of black), screaming bloody murder. An additional few seconds later, heavy footsteps sounded through the HQ. Everyone (except Meta Knight) backed away in fear.

"W-what was that?" stuttered Bowser, recovering from his unconsciousness.

Meta Knight's eyes narrowed. "Take Snake(2) and Coyefeesh to somewhere safe. Kirby, Ness and I can handle this intruder."

Mentioned characters nearly fainted while Bowser picked up Coyefeesh's carcass and led Snake(2) to the unknown depths of the HQ.

"Get ready…"

Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

"Hey, hey, wake up, hey."

"Gruuuu…" Red (multiple laughs are heard) woke up groaning to see a green Italian guy poking him. "Huh? Where am I?"

"Good you're FINALLY awake." Red turned around to find a red-overalled Italian guy.

"Who are you people?" asked Red.

"Who we are does not matter. For now, we are all prisoners in this…place," said Mari – I mean, the red Itali – you know what, it's Mario, happy?

Red looked around the place. He was locked in a small room with Mario and the green Ita – I mean, Luigi. Upon further inspection, Red noticed that three walls were reinforced with carbon steel. The last wall was barred with titanium rods, blocking the way to a hallway of similar rooms, except they were empty. In short, Red was in jail. Red's hand automatically reached for the Pokéballs on his belt, but they were missing.

"Wait, where's my Pokémon?" Red panicked.

"What, those strange creatures you came with? They were sent to a separate room with Yoshi."

"Who?"

"Um, never mind that for now. Do you remember how you got here?"

Red pondered for a moment. "It was this fish-headed guy, he tried to kill Charizard with a freaking giant beam of water, and then he took out a cell phone, and…now I'm here."

"So Coyefeesh is indeed trying to take over the world…" muttered Luigi in his corner.

"Wh-what?" said Red, alarmed.

"Nah, that's just a theory Luigi came up with. Wait, we forgot to introduce ourselves. I'm Mario and this is my younger brother Luigi," introduced Mario.

"Oh, hi, I'm Red," Red said, and immediately regretted saying it. He grimaced, expecting the two to laugh at his name. The laughter never came.

"That's a unique name," remarked Mario.

"Really? You think so?" asked Red.

"NO! DID YOU THINK I WAS SERIOUS? RED?! PFFFFFFFFFT, AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mario and Luigi both bursted out laughing their asses off.

Please ignore the previous sentence.

"Of course, I have not met anyone else named Red before in my life!" said Mario.

Cheesiness aside…

"Hey, we're planning a scheme to escape and get revenge on the fish. You want in?" Luigi asked.

"Luigi, stop trying to sound like a gangsta, because you'll never be one," scolded Mario.

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! You murder all of my dreams! WHYYYAAAAAAAAA?"

"Wait, what scheme?" asked Red.

Mario explained the plan to Red while ignoring Luigi's crying: "Well, here's the plan…"

Coyefeesh's HQ

After a long apprehensive period of time, a lone figure stepped into the room. Seeing so many enemies, he took out a RPG out from his back and blew up all of the lights. The whole room turned pitch black.

Meta Knight heard footsteps coming his way. He anticipated the intruder's speed and teleported behind him using Dimensional Cape at the right time and appeared behind the person with a quick slash. The intruder quickly retaliated by sending a quick but strong kick, enough to make Meta Knight fly into a planted motion sensing bomb, which blew him into the wall and he flinched in pain.

"BANZAI!" Ness screamed, spamming PK fire at the intruder. All that was seen was many small bolts of energy crossing the room. The intruder side-stepped all of the attacks. "You shouldn't say your attacks out loud like that, idiot piece of shiAHHH!" the mysterious person (you probably know who he is) screamed after one of Ness's PK Fire collided turned into a column of flames that burned the intruder. Ness kept spamming his attack before Snake was given the chance to shoot a missile at Ness. Snake flipped away to a corner of the room to recover his energy, gasping.

"How do they know where I am?…" wondered the intruder (it's Snake, if you haven't figured it out yet) silently. "Because your breathing is quite heavy," commented Meta Knight as he appeared behind Snake. Snake reacted quickly and rolled behind Meta Knight to land a punch on Meta Knight, who blocked it with his sword. Meta Knight used Mach Tornado, attempting to run Snake over. Snake escaped by holding on to Cipher. Meta Knight flew underneath Snake and performed a consecutive three-hit slashing combo before using Drill Rush to hit Snake into Kirby, who was using Inhale.

"What the – gah!" said Snake before he was sucked into Kirby's black hole – I mean, stomach. Snake was violently chewed before being spat out as a star, crashing into the wall (which is invincible, by the way). "What the hell just happened?" Snake wondered as felt some roundish objects hitting him weakly. He chuckled. "You call that an attack?" he asked rhetorically, before he was exploded many times.

The lights suddenly flickered back on. "Hey, I fixed the lights!" Bowser said, randomly appearing. "YYOOUU!" yelled Snake as he saw Bowser. "OH SHI-" screamed Bowser before he was blown up by four RPG missiles and hit in the head with a weird disk-thing (called Cipher) that Snake threw at him. "DIE!" Snake shrieked, charging at Bowser. Bowser quickly ran away in record time, leaving a comical trail of dust behind. Snake started to follow.

"We can't let him go into the other rooms of the Headquarters! They don't have conveniently invincible walls like this room. Stop him at once!" ordered Meta Knight.

Kirby (who now had Snake's powers due to eating Snake earlier) responded by flying over Snake and using Stone to turn into a brick and falling on Snake. Snake tried to kick Kirby away but only ended up hurting his foot. Kirby turned back to his regular form and hit Snake with a hammer before tossing several grenades in Snake's path. Snake recognized the grenades as the same as his own before he was blown up (again). When the smoke cleared, the mercenary was still standing. "So you were the ones…who stole my grenades…after all…" he muttered weakly. "Give them back…or suffer the consequences…" he managed to say before collapsing.

"Give it up; it's three against one," Meta Knight pointed his sword at Snake.

Snake chuckled. "Kill me here…even if you don't, I will be killed by my bosses…for failing my mission…I never thought…I never thought my life would end like this…fighting a swordsman masked midget, a puffball, and a big-headed kid…who barely did anything except spam cheap attacks (Ness: Hey!). Ugh…"

What the group didn't notice was that Snake had planted twenty motion sensing bombs and two C4s near each passageway. When Bowser peeked around the corner to examine the scene, Snake took out a remote button thingy. "Now," he said under his breath.

The two C4s exploded near Bowser, activating the motion sensing bombs, which also exploded briefly. Soon, the room was covered in debris left by the chain explosions. Then, everything was silent.

Coyefeesh, Meta Knight, Ness, Bowser, Kirby, Snake(2)
vs
Mario, Luigi, Yoshi, Red, Charizard, Ivysaur, Squirtle, Pikachu, Jigglypuffz

Eliminated: Kuppa