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RPOV

The feeling of emptiness consumed me as I kept up my torrid beating of the nameless faces I could see. In the middle of it all was her teary face, the fear in her eyes and the sound of her voice as she broke down for me.

I punished myself for still wanting her. I punished myself for involving her in my life. I punished myself for falling asleep.

Suddenly, the air changed. I felt her before he saw her. Even after everything that had gone down, I desperately wanted to pull her into my arms and fall asleep with her snuggled into the curve of my body. My perfect fit. My better half.

I felt all the air leave me when I saw her in the field of my vision. Her untamed curls were loose and her stunning eyes were sparkling with determination. She walked up to me and held out her hands, almost like she was approaching a feral wild animal. My fists stopped of their own accord, seeking that connection with her. Now that I've had a taste of what it feels like to be with her, I don't know if I can survive being without her. She is my reason for living. Our palms touched and all my anger and fear evaporated.

She pulled me into her body until I was cradled in her arms. She didn't say anything, but suddenly I couldn't hold it in any longer, tears were streaming down my face until I was sobbing like a schoolgirl. It had been fifteen years since the last time I cried. I held onto her for dear life because I don't know how I ever survived without her. She is my emotional support. She is my everything.

As my sobbing quieted, I realised that she was hiding my face in her hair so that even if the feed in the gym is live, the men won't see me crying like a little bitch. She was protecting me from myself. How the tables have turned.

We sunk to the floor and she held me for a while, letting me get myself in control again. I then picked her up and carried her up the stairs and to my apartment.

"Ranger, we need to discuss this." She whispered. I felt my body freeze. Is she here to say goodbye? Is she sick of my shit already?

It seemed that she had developed ESP in the past 24 hours because she cradled my face between her hands and reassured me "I am not leaving you. I will never leave you. But, we need to find a solution for this, together."

She then pulled me into the bathroom and helped me out of my clothes. I hadn't changed my clothes since the night before. The shirt was now soaked in sweat and blood. She stripped herself and pulled me into the shower with her.

I saw the bruises on her wrists and on her neck. I felt the beast in me rise up again. No one had the right to taint her flawless skin. Not even me. She felt the stiffening in my posture and met my eyes.

"Ranger, if I wanted an easy life, I would still be married to Dickie, turning a blind eye on all his shenanigans. I want you and everything that comes with the Carlos Manoso package. You weren't trying to hurt me. You were trying to hurt someone who was about to hurt you. As long as this isn't intentional, we can work on it together. Now come on, get under the spray. As much as I do love you, you smell of sweat and whiskey."

She didn't give me a moment to think, just pulled me into the spray with her and lathered my body with my Bulgari shower gel. She then reached up and washed my hair. The feeling of her fingers scraping my scalp was pare heaven.

We stepped out of the shower after thoroughly washing each other. She bandaged my wrists and we went back to the living room.

Before I could think of what to say, she started again, "I had a talk with my mother." I raised my eyebrow at that.

She continued, "My dad was also a Ranger… they went through something similar to this. I would like you to seriously consider therapy. I understand that you can't talk about anything with me, but I'm sure you're able to do so with a professional. I will support whatever decision you make and be there with you every single step of the way. Even if you choose not to go into therapy."

I don't deserve this woman. It had always been a matter of pride for me. I didn't think I needed some shrink to tell me that I was messed up. I already knew that very well, thank you very much, but maybe it's time to reconsider. I want my Babe in my life and I will go to any extent to make that possible.

"Yes Babe, I will talk to Bobby tomorrow morning and see what he recommends."

We sat there in silence, with me holding onto her for dear life. I was afraid she would disappear if I let her go. After a while I realised she had fallen asleep. I cradled her in my arms and carried her to the bedroom and tucked her into the bed. I stepped back out into the living room and lay down on the couch. For once, I didn't dream.

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