~Disclaimer~

I don't own Naruto.

If I owned it all Akatsuki would be living in Konoha and there wold be lots of lemon and yaoi and lots of other good stuff.

However I do own Tabitha and any other ideas that aren't related to the anime, So please don't copy! =D

Thanks to Mangamoo1 for all the help with editing and helping with other things as well.

Forgive the spelling and grammar. Give me feedback. Flames are totally welcome as well as anyting else. As long as there are no spammed url's I don't really give a damn. :)

~TJD41066~

Full Summary:

Tabitha was a Heyon clan member that was sent off to live with the sand trio, due to the fact that her entire clan was wiped off the face of the earth with no trace who they were killed by. After the incident she lost all her memories of the past. Her memories had been hidden away to the point that not even Ibiki could get into the recedes of her mind. After much deliberating with the council the 3rd Hokage sent her off to Suna to live with the legendary sand trio and the Kazeakage. After a year Gaara gets Tabitha to open up and he finds out that her nightmares may be something more. The grew closer over the next few years until the night his uncle tried to kill him. Tabitha tried to help and comfort Gaara but he turned her own memories and own trust in him against her. Gaara ran away that night and he took not only himself but her soul as well. Five years later she moves to Konoha with Kankuro & Temari. When Akatsuki takes interest in her what will come to be? Will she ever be able to understand why the things that happen, happen?

WARNINGS: Lemons; yaoi and yuri; Character Deaths; language; and much more.

~Last time~

Tabitha Pov

We had gotten maybe ten feet from where we had been when I felt a cold hand grab mine...

Chapter Two
Tabitha's First Day
Part 2

I turned around and there he was.

The person I had avoided thinking about for the past five years.

"Gaara..." My breath hitched as his name slipped past my lips. My body trembled and I felt odd. Just saying his name made my heart clench. His name felt so odd rolling of my tongue. Like a new language that hadn't been learned by any other person alive. I knew that it was truly because I hadn't said his name since that day. I felt my eyes water as I thought about the past times when he and I were younger. My emotions were a whiz. I was so confused, for I thought that I hated him, But I felt something completely different.

In these five years since he had left me in the middle of the desert I never let anyone close to me besides Kankuro and Temari and even then we are so distant. I don't know what makes me distance myself from others but in the single moment I saw Gaara those walls I had so desperately built to keep people out crumpled down without a fight. I let him in without looking back. My walls, my pathetically built walls, were broken once again and now the feelings that I had blocked away seeped through. They came like a tidal wave as if a dam had broke and my emotions were the water that came billowing out. The sadness of losing him, The hurt because of what he had said to me, The pure rage for what he did, and other emotions that were not quite as clear. But one thing I did notice:

I never realized how much I missed him over these five years. I always felt empty. Like I was missing something and here he was. He wasn't all I was missing though. When I saw him it clicked into place and I finally found part of what I needed. But not all of it.

The first person to ever accept me after what happened was him. I never thought I would miss that stupid sand gourd on his back. I noticed it didn't look nearly as big as it did from when I remember. I never thought I would miss that little teddy bear he carried and his terrible sense of humor. I never thought I would miss his eyebrow less face.(Authors note: They are there but they are really blond. And if it wasn't for the One-Tailed Shukaku all of his hair would be a flaming blond...That would look weird on him though) After what he had said and had done what he did I thought I would have hated him but I just now realized that I could never hate him. Yes I could loath what he did but I could never hate him. He was...I could never bring myself to hate his entity. He was something so important to me.

I looked up at him and when our eyes met the rage I had inside me dissolved and retreated into the back of my pained heart. I noticed that he looked comfortable in his uniform despite the situation. His tie was lose and his shirt un-tucked. His jacket un-zipped and hanging open. His sea-foam eyes outlined in black circles from the lack of sleep I was positive he got. I sighed and looked down away from his face, feeling the tears brim behind my hidden lashes.

I pulled my hand out of his and slowly backed away letting my hand fall limp at my side, my head hung down like a deflating balloon. I wasn't ready to forgive him. I couldn't face it. My entire body felt heavy from the guilt but I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I knew he would have a face that would burn into my memory and haunt me at night when I was weak and powerless to do anything against my fears. His face would be one that was full of hurt, sadness, and pain. I was unsure of what I should do. Should I forgive him now or wait? But before I even thought the question I already knew the answer. I needed time. Not much but enough to gather strength and to harness my emotions. In time I would come to forgive him but for now he had to wait. I had to gather a few pieces together before he would be allowed to be close to me once again.