CHAPTER 4
A burden from his past let reemerge a sense of guilt and pain that never truly left him.
Once he had desired to be father. Once he had lost a child. Once he had prayed for another chance.
Prior to that night he never thought he could be father, they could have a child. Prior to that night he never thought life could be so tough, he never thought a pain so intense could exist. He thought he could die. He thought his heart could break.
That night at the hospital after her kidnapping the doctor referred him that her conditions were finally stable but unfortunately she had lost the baby she was expecting. He remembered he was shocked but he managed to ask the doctor to cancel it from the records, to not tell her about the baby, because she couldn't bear it. They did it to protect her and in someway he was right. Natalie had changed his Sara. She fall into depression and left Vegas. What would have happen if she had knew about their baby, he couldn't even imagine. That night after visiting her he went to the hospital chapel and he prayed and cried for their lost child. But he kept all for himself. It was his punishment. Nonetheless life had to go on. They had to go on. He had to be strong. He still never brought the subject up with her, they kept not talking about having children. But deep inside he knew he wanted a family with her, that was why he proposed and married her, that was what he referred to when he told Catherine it was time for him to up the ante.
From the moment their love re-hatched under the Costa Rican sun he knew she was not on any kind of birth control. But that didn't stop him, on the other hand he made love to her with more fervor, with hope. If she was pregnant, it was only his fault but he didn't regret it.
Now he was standing sitting on a tent in the middle of the jungle, praying God and wondering what she was thinking and where she was hiding. There was only one place: their happy place.